"If you put that caterpillar down the back of Bruce's shirt then I will make you eat it." Loki says, not looking up from the artwork he is considering. He can't quite decide if the main character in the drawing is putting poison into the sleeping man's ear (not a good idea, there are better, more undetectable ways of administering poison) or if it is a written statement confessing to the crime of putting dye into his brother's shampoo.
"Really? But what if it is poisonous?" Tony asks, sounding more intrigued by the idea than repulsed. He holds out the caterpillar for inspection, ignoring the look of resigned amusement Bruce shoots him.
"That one is poisonous. I suspect forcing you to eat it would result in a rash on the inside of your throat."
"An itchy rash?"
"A possibly fatal itchy rash, should your throat swell up." Loki answers, coaxing the caterpillar into his hand and sending it with a flick of his magic into Thor's chambers. Thor has an allergy to these small creatures that Loki has always found amusing.
"You could kill someone with a caterpillar?" Tony is a macabre child, far too precocious for his three years of age.
"I wouldn't advise it." Loki cautions. "Such a method of assassination leaves too much to chance and you are an obvious culprit having shoved the caterpillar down their throat."
"What if you got lots of caterpillars and mashed them up and put them in someone's food, would that work?"
"I haven't tested it. I shall have to get back to you another time." Loki says. His methods of getting rid of bothersome pests is a lot more refined than the clumsy imaginings of a child but the occasional creativity is always a positive and can lead to interesting results.
(The warriors four, currently setting down for lunch, glance warily at their food as a sudden cold shiver runs down their spines.)
"Alex." Loki calls, waiting. Once doing so has bored him (after three seconds, Loki has never claimed patience in day to day matters) he heads over to the climbing contraption and plucks the blond haired child of Summer by the back of his shirt. Alex hangs limply from his grip frowning at the interruption to his game.
"Interesting drawing." Loki says lightly. Alex looks shifty in the overblown way of young children. He is seconds from glancing at the sky and whistling. "I advise that next time you do not advertise the intimacies of your crimes. Not even in private. Evidence, no matter how well hidden, is still evidence."
"Scott already knew it was me who turned his hair blue." Alex shrugs, unconcerned.
"Yes but that does not mean that others knew. Hold secrets close to your chest, for if no one else knows them then you are safe." Loki chides, setting the child down on the ground and watching as he runs off without a backwards glance.
He fears Alex is simply too defiant and so uncaring of the consequences to properly train. It is a shame, he has a bloodthirsty instinct that was lacking in his older brother.
A bell rings out, the noise carrying through the grounds. Half of the children react like hounds to the hunt, their heads coming up at the prospect of food, while the other half continue to play obliviously.
Loki heads inside, leaving his doubles to herd the children in.
Feeding time at the zoo is always a frenzy despite Loki's attempts to drill proper table manners into the children. It is hard to look properly menacing if there is grease running down your face or tomato stains on your shirt. Not even threats of no dessert will get them to eat with a modicum of finesse.
He carefully erects a shield around his own seat and lets the children go at it. At the very least, watching the servants faces when they enter to clean after the meal is consumed never fails to lift Loki's mood. He is fairly certain it is an impressive construction of table utensils built by Bruce and Tony and wielded by Clint that splatters the potatoes on the high ceiling.
When he looks over, a careful placement of flowers hides his view in an obvious ploy. He pretends not to have noticed, a smirk curling up his lips, they are learning.
Natasha, one of the few who actually uses a knife and fork, watches the commotion silently, inching closer to Loki to gain the same protection from flying food that he enjoys from the shield.
Clever child. Loki offers her an extra chocolate biscuit which she eyes suspiciously for a few moments before accepting. She is too wary to actually eat anything given to her as a reward for behaviour.
(He later sees her offer the biscuit to Sean as a bribe. She watches him intently when he eats it, waiting for him to fall down dead.)
After lunch is story time before they indulge in their afternoon naps.
Loki enjoys reading the fairytales. Most fairytales end up with a combination of trickery and strength of arm saving the day for the main character, so he doesn't have to tweak the stories much...just enough.
He finishes the tale of how the woman with locks spun of gold tricked three buffoons out of their breakfast and escaped retribution by the time the youngest of the group begin to yawn.
He snaps his fingers. The rolled up mats in the cupboard stand to attention, hopping out one after another and finding a space before unravelling, a pillow flopping down on top.
Each child makes their way to their own mat, a few squabbles breaking out over which one gets the particular mat closest to their friend. Loki dims the lights and pulls out a book, propping his feet up on the desk.
A quiet clearing of a throat interrupts his solace. He raises an eyebrow and looks up from his book. The blond child shifts on his feet but keeps looking directly at him.
"Yes?" Loki enquires, voice soft in deference to those asleep. It is also a demand to know why the child is not with his fellows.
"The story you told us is different from the one in the book." Steve observes, his blue eyes a steady force.
"Yes. Repeating the same tales gets old, does it not?"
Steve considers that. Loki sets down his book, the child is actually listening to what he is saying instead of paying lip service like most of the others or simply not comprehending.
"Yes." He admits. "But she stole their food and didn't get told off!"
"True."
"She broke into their house. That's not allowed." Steve says confidently. Loki tilts his head.
"Tell me, does every criminal get caught?" He asks lightly. Steve frowns.
"The police catch them."
"Yes, but the police do not always manage to catch every single criminal. The story explained that." Loki says, having a morality discussion over a children's book is a novelty. From the set frown to Steve's face he assumes it will not be a novelty for much longer.
"She should have been punished, stealing and going into their house was mean."
"Hmm, not everyone who does something wrong is punished." Seeing that Steve is not convinced Loki changes tracks. "What if she was hungry?"
"She should wait until dinner." Is the prompt response.
"What if she had no dinner. What if she was very hungry?"
"She should buy some food."
"What if she did not have any money to do so?"
"Stealing isn't nice." Steve eventually says, mulling over the conversation.
"Stealing is never nice." Loki agrees, it is convenient not nice. "But if it kept her alive? If that meal saved her life and the three she stole from had a full pantry and enough money for food all the time? Then, is it alright?"
Steve stays silent.
"Couldn't she have just asked?"
Loki blinks. Having a child point out logical points in a debate is rare.
"Perhaps." He admits, wondering if he should introduce his brother and this child. They would get along, their simplistic view of the world and mentality were probably similar. Well, Steve might actually be more mature.
"Mayhap she thought that they would refuse and the only way she could be sure to have it was to steal." Loki proposes.
Steve looks at his shoes for a moment, one of the laces is frayed at the edges.
"What do you think?" The child asks.
"I think that she stole because she could. Because she saw the opportunity and took it." Loki says with a grin that is more teeth than glee.
"That is wrong." Steve states before going to his mat and lying down.
Loki grins.