A/N:To anyone who is reading this, firstly, thank you for checking my story out. Secondly, though you have no obligation to review, any form of crictisim is welcome. um, this would be my first first attempt at writing a long continous story. so please keep that in mind, while you read, cuz i may not be very good at it. Oh, and um i'm looking for a Beta, so if anyone wants to help me, please drop me a message. Thank you, and i hope you enjoy it.

Chapter One: Moonlit musings

Silent.

The whole world was silent.

I sat up straight in my bed, looking around my usually comforting room. Tonight though, it seemed haunted. There were dark shadows everywhere, and the moonlight didn't help at all. The room had a eery, dark tinge to it, one that did not soothe my nerves at all. In an attempt to stop my imagination from getting out of hand, which it had the tendency to do, i took in deep breaths. In...no such things...Out....In....happy thoughts.....Out. And finally, i began to calm down.

Then i felt silly. I didn't need ghosts to scare me, i already had plenty of that from my problems. I sighed and laid back down on my pillow, but not before checking that it wouldn't suffocate me. Ask me on my best day(which never happened,) and i would tell you i was being selfish. Ask me on any other given day, i would give you a weird look and assume the role of the angst problem riddled teenager who hid behind an impenetrable mask. That was basically me, summed up.

You see, i had issues, and i didn't want to solve them. In fact, i was perfectly content with them. My dad however will tell you otherwise. He's tried to send me to therapists, because i needed to 'open up' but screw it, i didn't feel like sharing. The record stands at three now, but I'm sure Charlie's preparing for the fourth one. Frankly, i felt he had no right to ship me off the sessions. Because he, my dad, the one i actually really needed refused to spend two seconds with me. His excuse, work. "I have to work to provide for you," was his excuse every time. I grew wary of it, so i stopped asking. Which suited him fine. Charlie, being the business man that he his, has to attend many conferences, and he was rarely at home. I guess deep down he felt guilty about it, because he often lavished me with gifts. My newest gift was a car. Not just any car, but THE car. The man knew me well. He had gotten me an Audi. Other than cars, i had many other possessions, all of which are still in pristine condition, because my mum raised me that way.

Mum.

I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come. Then i wished for a distraction. Anything, to evade the memories. Unfortunately, tonight, i had no such luck in pressing the memories that clawed their way up. I started to panic, hoping that this would not become a full blown panic attack. I was prone to these attacks every once in awhile. Tonight it seemed, that the higher power up there had no wish to grant me mercy. Instead i was thrust into the memories of my past, drowning in them, as i fought to maintain my sanity.

Too late...

My worst memories came right up with such an intensity that made me gasp. Mum and me playing... Charlie laughing...Charlie and Mum smiling at me as i blew out candles on my birthday cake...Mum singing me to sleep, telling me that she loved me.. And then i broke down. I gave up, as sobs raked through my entire body, making me shake. I missed my mother terribly. Her kind, soft eyes that were always filled with love, the way she held me that made everything feel alright and most of all, i missed her smile and her laughter.

She was gone, and i was all alone.

I laid back down on my bed, my eyes closing on their own account. I was so thankful for sleep, that i didn't bother wiping away the tears. Sleep came and took me, the soft constant rain lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

A/N: So that's the first chapter. I would really love to hear any thoughts or comments. Thank you for reading, and um if your'e interested in Beta-ing, please drop me a message. Thanks, much love.