So this is a new Beyblade fic of mine. It's um...depressing? There was about three songs that inspired this one, but I'll warn right now it's different than my other stories. Possibly confusing, hopefully you'll understand it all by the end... I got a message from a reader saying things were too happy and I didn't understand real emotions, challenging me I guess to write more emotion. So here's raw emotion. It's somewhat bitter-sweet.

Warning: It is yaoi still (boyXboy). It's also fairly angsty (not a word I know). Try and keep up? I'll write an explanation at the bottom for those who don't get it..
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Beyblade, but the idea and words that created this story are all mine

Review and give me your opinion, I'd love to know what my readers think of this one :P

"Are you sure you're alright Rei?" Hilary questioned softly, leaning against Tyson's side. Her eyes were red and swollen, a tissue clutched in her right hand. Her black dress swayed in the night breeze and Tyson had her close, for once very solemn.

Rei was silent, but nodded slowly, trying to give a weak smile but it just looked painful. His black suit was fitted perfectly to his body, but he looked so frail and small in it. His golden eyes were still watery and glazed with sadness, the pinkness from crying noticeable. Gathered by the steps to his door, the door he and Kai had walked into together a year ago, his friends watched him in concern. He swayed slightly as he turned, and he closed his eyes for a moment as grief struck him again. Tears rolling down his cheeks, he reached forward and wrapped his hands around the cold doorknob. He unlocked it shakily and stepped in, overwhelmed yet again by the vast space of their – pardon his – home. He stepped in and slowly pushed the door closed, knowing his friends were still staring watching with concern.

The bags and dark rings under his eyes were very noticeable, and he tiredly made his way to the largest room of the house. Down the hallway, all the lights on too brightly, the missing presence of Kai pressed on him. The air was too thick for him to breathe properly, it felt so heavy like it was constricting him slowly, only letting him breathe enough to keep him living painfully. He pushed into the bedroom, stumbling in and shutting the door. He didn't both turning on the light, the tall glass windows didn't have the thick curtains over them so the full moon shone brightly into the room, illuminating the darkness enough for him to see. He removed his pants and shirt, opening the bed side table to gently take out a knife and place it on the surface.

He slowly laid himself onto the bed, the white duvet fitting his body slowly as it sank into the softness. He allowed his eyes to close and another tear rolled down his cheek.

"You know you mean the world to me. Dead or alive Rei, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me...I would die for you."

"Kai...don't say that now..." Rei whispered, head falling to the side.

His skin looked creamy and pale as the moonlight spilled over him. He looked like a doll, fragile. These would be his last moments in the world...

"Don't ever doubt my love Rei.."

"I never did Kai." The neko whimpered, lips parting to breath in shakily.

"Just let me show you how happy you make me."

"Nnn.." Rei let his hand trail down his chest, his eyes still closed.

And it was Kai touching him. It was Kai who gently rubbed his nipples, Kai who traced the small circles around his navel and traced random patterns with his long delicate fingers. It wasn't him; it was Kai that made him shiver now.

"Stay with me..."

"Forever." Rei breathed, before moaning.

Back arching off the bed, fingers curled around his member and he gasped out loudly. His toes twitched and his thighs spread more, welcoming his lover's touch. His body flushed all over, and sweat beaded on the back of his neck and across his forehead. The memory of hot breath ghosting over his flesh made him shiver, and he closed his eyes to let every memory soak into his world now. The soft kisses, trailed across his chin then down his body until Kai was between his legs. Rei's eyes stayed closed, he didn't need sight because right now it was Kai guiding his body to move properly.

Panting, quick heavy breaths that laced through the silence of the room. Moans that seemed to echo, groans that faded. A body laying over his own, melding into him as hands explored him all over. Body curling and arching, Rei whimpered and murmured Kai's name, remembering the way Kai would whisper his name back.

"Trust me..."

"I always have." Rei answered quietly, chin lifting as his lips parted for him to moan again.

Everything began to build, everything was electrifying and increasing. On the large bed made for two lovers, Rei twisted until it all exploded in his mind.

"Kai..." His voice breathed loudly.

"My darling Rei.." His Kai whispered back in his ear.

Slowly, he reached over to blindly grab the knife. His fingers curled around the handle and he brought it over to his body, lifting a wrist. Dragging the sharp edge across his skin, he could feel how deep it was going. Blood came immediately, a fuzzy warmth that spilled over his wrist to stain the white duvet. He repeated this action with his other wrist before he threw the knife with little strength. He then curled into Kai's chest, head nuzzled into his neck. Strong, secure arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe as the life drained out of him.

He was ready to see his lover again. Trusting him, he let himself take his last few breaths in the security of Kai's strong arms that protected him as he passed on. Tomorrow things would be a mess, with the blood and the news. People would cry, people would hurt. But now everything would heal for him. It was a second chance for them. Love was a strong thing and Rei was confident it would lead him to where he needed to be with Kai now that life was over. His heart stopped beating and his body got colder, the moonlight still pooled over them. But things were different.

Kai smiled at his lover's face, tightening his arms around the male's body. He placed a kiss on his forehead, before relaxing on the clean white duvet of their bed. Glowing in the moonlight, he kept him close; welcoming him back to his arms.

"I love you Kitten." He whispered, and Rei's lips curved up slowly.

So for those who didn't get it: Kai died. They were getting back from the funeral, and Rei had made plans to join Kai. He pleasured himself, but he was thinking it was Kai to feel the lost emotions and connect with his lover. Then he killed himself and because Kai was watching over him, the Russian protected him as he died. So they were together again, and in the end Rei's 'waking up' (I guess) in afterlife with him.

It's one of my...different stories you could say. Anyway, hope you liked it - maybe made you feel emotions? And for the one who sent me that message - Do I suck at portraying emotion now?