~~A/N~~ This is a story about my thoughts of how Cal and Gillian met and finally fell in love. It fills in the blanks. From when they met and the present day. It's just my thoughts of how it could happened. Some things have been changed to fit the story and the characters might not behave in exactly the same manner as they do on the show. This is my little folly and how I imagine their love story started, continued and finally, ended. It wasn't easy and definitely not perfect, but love, in the end, will conquer all. It's a bit of an Alternate Universe story, so the characters might not be 100% accurate.

As always, reviews are much appreciated and loved. Enjoy!

Sometimes, no matter how badly you might want something, it just isn't meant to be. At least not when you always want it. Sometimes, it's a matter of living life and learning that you need to take things slowly and gradually. Sometimes, life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. This is often the case in affairs of the heart.

Falling in love is never easy. Gillian knew that. Loving Cal Lightman was one of those cases. She's loved him for longer than she could remember.

***Flashback to 17 years before the show began***

They'd met back when she was a Senior in college. She was just finishing her thesis and had stopped in the coffee shop on her way to work one cold October day. Her parents had never approved of her going to college for Psychiatry. They thought that she should be a lawyer or a schoolteacher. Then she could marry a respectable man and settle down and marry.

They refused to accept that she didn't want to get married. At least not right away. She wanted to find the love of her life. She wanted to marry yes, but she also wanted a career. She couldn't accept that she'd be happy merely sitting at home all day waiting for her husband to come home. That was never Gillian's style.

In most cases, it's a chance meeting that changes someones life forever. The day that Gillian met Cal was no exception to this.

She was rushing to get to work. She'd been late getting out of class. Which was usually the case with her. She'd stayed to ask her professor a couple of questions and it took a bit longer than she'd expected. She'd opened the door and headed straight in without looking. She ran right into something solid.

She fell onto the floor and didn't open her eyes for a few seconds. She knew that she'd ran into someone, but was hoping against hope that it was a wall or some or inanimate object. Instead, she heard a man chuckle. She gathered up as much courage as she could manage and opened her eyes. When she did, she felt the wind rush from her lungs. She looked up at him and into his eyes and found herself unable to speak. She tried, but no words came out. Finally, she heard him laugh and say, "Hello luv."

Finally, her brain seemed to connect with her mouth and she said, "Hi."

She thought to herself, "You sound like and idiot Gillian." Honestly, it was all she could manage at the moment.

She was saved from herself when he asked, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

She nodded and smiled at him, "Sure. Thanks." She was wondering why she sounded like a complete fool. Surely she could come up with something more intelligent than what she was managing.

He'd nodded and offered his hand to help her up off the floor. Then, they walked over to the counter together and placed their orders.

Cal smiled at her, "I guess I should introduce myself."

"That would be nice. I mean, since you are buying me a cup of coffee."

Cal had laughed, "I'm Cal, Cal Lightman."

Gillian smiled, "I'm Gillian Thompson."

"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Gillian laughed, "I'm just getting a cup of coffee before I have to head to work."

"Where's that?"

"I work at the bookstore on the corner."

Cal nodded, "I hope this isn't too forward, but I'd really like to see you again Gillian."

"Well, we did just meet."

Cal smiled at her softly, "I can tell that you want to see me again."

"I do, but..."

"But what?"

"Well, I only met you today."

Cal smiled brightly whispering, "Please?"

Gillian had smiled and it was then that she knew that she'd lost her heart to him.

It was a week later that she'd found herself in Cal's bed. She'd known that it was too soon. She'd tried telling herself that. Tried reasoning with herself. Telling her body not to have this kind of reaction to him. It was no use though. Her heart refused to listen to anything that her mind said. The first time they'd kissed, she felt an electric shock go through her body. He'd felt it too. Because he'd pulled back and looked at her whispering, "Wow."

It was that night that she gave herself to him completely. After wards, he'd whispered, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She hadn't wanted to tell him that she was still a virgin. That she hadn't yet found the right man to give herself to. Mind, body and soul. So, she whispered quietly, "I was saving myself for my special someone."

Cal pulled her close and kissed her deeply. They'd made love again for the second time that night. Gillian had never felt some complete before. She knew that she loved Cal and thought that he felt the same. However, as time went on, she knew that he was going to leave her. She'd felt it just as surely as she'd felt the seasons changing.

It was summer when it happened. He'd come to her apartment and they kissed as she let him inside. She'd noticed the difference when he didn't kiss her as passionately as he usually. She finally pulled back, "What's wrong Cal?"

Cal sighed heavily, "I'm getting married."

It was the first time in her life that Gillian had ever been unprepared for the rush of emotions that ran through her. The tears that came from her eyes seemed to appear without a second thought. She'd known that Cal hadn't loved her like she'd loved him. They'd simply been two people having sex. Incredible sex, but just sex nonetheless. She looked at him through watery eyes, "I thought we had something special."

Cal nodded and said, "We did. We do. It's just...."

"What Cal? What can you honestly tell me that would make me not want to hate you as much as I do right now?"

"She's pregnant. It was a one time thing. Before I met you and..."

"Get out."

"What? No Gillian, you can't mean that. I love you."

"And yet you're marrying her. What was I Cal? Just someone to keep you busy until she came back to love you again?"

"No Gillian, it wasn't like that."

"That's funny, because it's what it feels like. I love you Cal. I..."

It was then that she broke down completely. Wave upon wave of soul wrenching and earth shattering tears. She found herself unable to stop the emotions that washed over her. She felt as if she were being torn in two. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind she heard a whispered, "Gillian, don't cry love."

She spun around and whispered harshly, "Don't you dare tell me not to cry...."

Cal put his hand on her shoulder, "I never should've let us get this close. I'm no good at relationships. I..."

"That's a cop out and you know it Cal Lightman. These last six months with you have been heavenly. You're just too blind to see what's right in front of you."

Cal stared at her for the longest time. So long, that she began to grow uncomfortable with the attention. She wanted him to say something. Anything to take away the pain. She wanted him to tell her that it was all a dreadful dream. That he wasn't going to marry this other woman. That he wanted to grow old with her. That he loved her enough to make her his someone special. She knew that it was a fantasy though. A fantasy created in her own mind. no one like Cal could love someone like her. She wasn't what he needed.

"I should go now. I'll always remember what we had luv."

Unable to watch him go, she turned away from him and faced the window. The day seemed to be mocking her. How cruel was it that the sun shined brightly while her insides were growing increasingly dark and despondent? What cruel twist of fate was this? She heard the door open and with a final thud, heard it close behind him. It was then that she truly lost all control of her emotions. She threw herself onto her bed and cried a river of tears. Tears for a man that, she was sure, had never loved her the way she loved him.

After a few hours, she sat up and vowed that she would never give her heart to another man. It simply wasn't worth the pain.