I Worship You Like Night's Pavilion
This is; I can't do this. Cao Pi runs his hand down the small of my back to my hip, down the softer flesh on the inside of my thigh. This man is younger than me, and yet the Emperor. There are many times in our relationship (if you can call it that) that I don't know where to stand. But this time isn't one of them. I throw my arm to the side, excruciatingly careful not to hit Pi. I attempt to push myself up from his bed and fail as my hand slips on a hairpiece that was left on the nightstand, Zhenji's no doubt. I gasp as my shoulder and arm collide with the bed's headboard. Pi quickly abandons his earlier activities and lifts himself off me.
"Zhongda, you're hurt? Try not to move too much without letting me know" he says with concern as he runs a hand through my hair and down to my cheek. I briefly consider letting Pi know why I had wanted to move, but feel too uncomfortable to do so. I nod and turn my face further into his palm. I end up allowing him to kneel, digging his knee between my legs, while he strokes my scalp and shoulders. I've always allowed Pi to do this; he is after all the emperor. My eyes slide shut as he undoes my jacket and starts to stroke and pull at my nipples. Sometimes I wonder why this man even bothered to get married.
Cao Pi sees the look of distant concentration on my face, and he doesn't know why. I know him well enough to know this upsets him. Pi brings his mouth to suck my right nipple in retaliation for this perceived insubordination. I arch my back and exhale as he succeeds in crashing my train of thought. This, too, is typical enough of how our meetings go. I'm sitting on his bed, back to its headboard: Pi's mouth is at my chest while his hands roam my body, trying to peel away the layers of ornate clothing. If he keeps just tossing it to the floor like rags he'll ruin it. The last of my silks goes flying into a pile at the foot of his bed. Now that his hands are done with their prior occupation he looks for a new way to amuse himself. They (his hands) return to feeling up my stomach, my back, thighs, crotch and ass. He alternates between gentle stroking and rubbing and harsh sharp slaps, he always tries to fuck with my mind like this. Is he still upset? He leaves my nipples alone and finally notices my face as he bites my lip and shoves his tongue down my throat. You'd think this means he's upset, but this is just normal Cao Pi. There's always been a fear in the back of my mind that for Cao Pi, sex with me is about feeling me submit and yield. I think it's about conquest (but what isn't for him?).One of his hands suddenly grabs and tugs my cock while the other squeezes at the left cheek of my ass. I yelp into his mouth. He pulls away and asks: "too much, Zhongda?" My face burning, I nod furiously. He yields.
And Love You More Since You Escape
Sima's like this again. He speaks too little and spends too much time in thought. I place a hand at his neck and try to feel him before I speak. "What is it you want, my Zhongda?" I try to understand him. His gaze is level and on me. It's a gaze I've grown suspicious of sometimes, and that I feel (fear) he's sent me much of as of late: cold, worn and longing. But what it is he's after I don't know.
I know, with my position, that the envy of others is to be expected, but not Sima's. He's been with me since before I had the throne, since I was young. So what does he want? I don't know but I try to give it to him. I try to make him happy.
He hasn't spoken but he has moved his hands: they now rest stroking my shoulders and my neck. They're gentler than most would expect of him, but I know him well enough to know what he means. He feels neglected; he wants my attention. At least that's what I tell myself. Quick and hard, I press my lips to his trying to finally get an answer to the question I'd asked. He allows me, and I press forward and let myself feel him.
Yi's breath becomes a harsh, desperate inhalation as I hit a particularly sensitive spot right below his scrotum. I touch more and get a further reaction. Yi looks at me accusingly, and then spreads his legs and angles his hips to give me better reach. Against my will and better judgment I smirk. Only someone like Sima could behave this way against his lover. Little things like this remind me why I love him as my hand returns to exploring what he's just shown me. I press my lips to his firmly, hoping to keep him calm. Now that I have him thus distracted I hastily run my hand through the night stand's drawer to get that jar of oil and find that fortunately none have moved it. I press my lips harder on Yi and run my tongue over them, all while I slick my digits with the oil. I keep moving my lips and tongue over his, hoping to keep him distracted while I begin dilating him and pushing my digits into his body. For a moment he tries to flinch his hips away as he's entered. My free hand flies to cradle the back of his neck and I start speaking by his ear, trying to keep a soft melody and trying to sooth him. He sighs and then stills, letting his head lay on my shoulder. I resume probing his body, going further in and opening him further. His breathing becomes labored exhalations and gasps. I probe to find his gland and then press and stimulate it. He moans and buries his face into my neck. Thus encouraged I continue, glad to see there is something I can do to make my Zhongda come closer to me.
To mock me and increase the leagues that lie
Between my arms and blue immensity
Absurd. I think to myself that this is beyond absurd. I think this directed more at myself than at Cao Pi. I am, after all, the one who let this get too far. Pi withdraws his hand and our contact breaks. Through all the heat and haze, Cao Pi takes my hand guides it down... He makes me realize he has himself in the same arousal and undress as I. For all I chastised myself earlier, I lift my hips and straddle him so my ass sits on his lap. Pi smirks and lets out a confident noise as he once again lets his hands go through my hair, messing and disheveling it no doubt. He speaks: "Zhongda, why can't you say how much you enjoy this?"
He's too arrogant, pretentious even. I can't be bothered to answer that. I grind myself down and press my lips against his softly. Pi doesn't seem disappointed at my lack of speech. There's a palpable heat, as our lips and hands move over each other more of their own accord. I try to think of how all this feels so automatic, how I need to stop analyzing every move there is between us. I shift my hips so the Cao Pi's cock is perfectly lined up with me. I break the contact of our lips and slide my hands up to stroke the younger man's face. I softly, candidly look Pi in the eyes for all of a split second before forcing my body down until his cock is deep inside me. Despite the assumptions some make, my body is far from used to this type of treatment, especially in such intimate regards. I start trying to collect myself, letting my breath come deep and rhythmic. I know that this is what Cao Pi has been watching for. His hands glide down to wrap around my waist, and then my hips. I look at his face that's stuck in a strained attempt at stoicism and I know I've certainly won this. I toss my head back and grab his shoulders right as I'm beginning to slide up and down on his penis. As I hear Pi call my name I start shifting the angle I ride him at, to try and better stimulate myself. Cao Pi's arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me in close to him. I continue bucking my hips in new found pleasure as he breaths heavy against my neck. I move, gyrating my hips as he moans indistinguishable words into my ear. He prattles about love and adoration as he begs me to come closer, to move in time with him. The warm scintillating feeling welling in the pit of my abdomen is good enough that I can't help but oblige. I press my body to him, leaving our flushed and warm faces pressed together. His hands fall to my hips and grab hold with a possessiveness I had expected and a desperation I hadn't. I grunt in acknowledgment when he begins to take away the control I'd had of my own movement. His hands bounce me up and down, finding a pace and stimulation for the two of us. The pace he sets is brutal. But I find I don't mind. I let myself relax into moving freely with his frantic pace. My hair and sweat whips about as I vocalize my appreciation. Cao Pi either hears or is very close to release himself when he slams deep and quick into me. I'm over and spent. The minute he hits inside me I feel myself shoot between our stomachs, complimented by the friction between us. I 'm fading out as I hear Pi grunt and feel him pull out of me, sliding me off his lap. The night settles around as I feel his body come to lay beside mine. And, inopportune and useless as it is, a phrase from some foreign poet Cao Pi forced on me flutters to my mind:
I even love, o beast implacable,
The coldness which makes you more beautiful.
Lines are from "I Worship You Like Night's Pavilion" by Charles Baudelaire:
I worship you like night's pavilion,
O vase of sadness, o great silent one,
And love you more since you escape from me,
And since you seem, my night's sublimity,
To mock me and increase the leagues that lie
Between my arms and blue immensity.
I move to attack, beseige, assail,
Like eager worms after a funeral.
I even love, o beast implacable,
The coldness which makes you more beautiful.
NOTE: Baudelaire was an 1800s French poet, if Pi and Yi knowing him bothers you, pretend this is AU.
