OBVIOUSLY THE TITLE OF 2x01 MEANT MUCH MORE THAN A WINDOW BEING BROKEN. THAT'S WHERE THIS CAME FROM. THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER SNOW AND EMMA GET OUT OF WONDERLAND. OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN THAT IS/WILL BE, BUT LET'S ASSUME THAT THEY GET OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OR TWO. OKAY? AND FOR ANYONE READING MY OTHER STORIES, I APOLOGIZE ABOUT NOT UPDATING. I'M IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN, AND FINALLY MY DAD BROUGHT MY LAPTOP. REVIEWS WOULD BE GREAT!
DON'T OWN ONCE UPON A TIME.
Broken. That's something Emma Swan never was, or so she thought. But in the past few days, she's learned that being broken doesn't necessarily mean one has been broken. She watches Henry, James, and Snow play Monopoly, drinking hot cocoa and laughing like a normal family. The familiar pang of loneliness and fear makes itself known in the pit of her stomach. Henry turns his head to her, smiling brightly. More fear. Snow follows his gaze and frowns. They're expecting something from her that she just can't give right now, maybe not ever. Her eyes widen as the oxygen rushes out of her body, and the trembling begins. No. She hasn't had a panic attack since she was Henry's age and teased for it at school. Trying to seem normal (as if anyone could describe her behavior as normal since the curse broke), she goes up the stairs to her room and lays on the bed. For the first time since her son came back to life, she allows herself to cry, the weight of it all crashing down on her. The shaking gets more intense. She's fighting for air. Somehow, she manages to flip herself over so she can scream into a pillow. She sobs for Graham and August, both unnecessary casualties in a battle that was never theirs. She cries for her son, who's suffered far too much for her mistakes. Finally, when her thoughts make their way to herself, the sobs become more powerful, more than she ever thought they could. Her life, everything she knew, is crumbling away piece by piece, and she doesn't know what to do. She rolls onto her back again, deciding to count the number of circles the pattern on the ceiling creates. This had always calmed her down as a child. There's a hesitant knock on the door, and after a moment, it opens. Emma's red, puffy, glassy eyes meet Snow's concerned ones. In instant the brunette is sitting on the edge of her daughter's bed. She doesn't give any physical contact, knowing that would make the other woman uncomfortable. Snow waits patiently for a couple minutes for Emma to speak. When she does, her voice is hoarse and scratchy, barely above a whisper.
"I can't deal with this. It's too much. I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore. I don't know who my best friend is, or the man I used to hate. Hell, I don't even know who I am."
"I can answer your last statement very easily, even if you don't want to hear it." Snow says gently. Then, more firmly, "You are my daughter, and the daughter of the man you used to hate. You are loved and wanted." The blonde breaks down again. No one has ever told her that her whole life. "You are Henry's mother. You are the Savior. You are Emma Swan, the strongest, bravest, most independent person I know. I'm so incredibly proud to have you as my daughter." Emma blushes, and it takes a few moments for her to find her voice.
"Thanks, but… you're wrong. I'm broken." She looks up at her mother with haunted, lost eyes.
"Emma, you listen to me." Snow says sternly, but not in any way angry. "Broken is a complicated word. It can mean one gave up or that one is damaged. You have not given up. You're a fighter. Don't ever doubt yourself for a second. Yes, you have your issues. If you were truly broken, you would be half way to Florida by now. What you're going through is hard. No one expects you to be okay. In fact, if you were, I'd be worried; and after everything that's happened to you, I'm convinced that nothing can break you."
"What about the others? Can you answer them?"
"This," Snow gestures around them, "is your life. I promise you it's not a dream. I know that's what you're afraid of. You, me, Charming, Henry… we're real. All of it. I may be your mother now, but I am still your friend. I can look at you from both perspectives. I know exactly which one of me you need." They laugh. "As for James, or David as you prefer… you only hated him because he hurt me. James never has, not in the way David did. I'm asking you not to hate him anymore because he doesn't deserve it. Besides, I can fight my own battles now." She smiles.
"Yeah, I know. In Wonderland, you were pretty impressive." Emma chuckles, eyes lighting up with admiration as she recalls the battle. Snow pauses for a moment, before looking at her daughter wistfully.
"Emma, when I look at you, I feel like I'm looking in a mirror."
"I'm a blonde, you're a brunette…"
"I mean a personality mirror." She says patiently. "You aren't broken. You're tired and scared, but I know you. You'll push past this like every other time." Snow pats Emma's knee. "Henry wants you to play monopoly. Come down when you're ready." The blonde watches her mother disappear down the stairs. She thinks about their talk. Maybe she herself isn't broken. Maybe it's her whole family. And now, Emma believes that for once, she won't have to pick up the pieces, because they're the Charmings. Even if she's spent her entire life alone, she's willing to join the family tradition. From this point on, she swears to do things like they should have done: together and unbroken.