This is following the "What are you thinking about?" and "So what do you think?" stories.
And it's not thoroughly edited because I'm lazy. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of its characters, just Kitty because I made her up. She's mine.
It's been 10 years since Cat and Jade got together, and since Tori had passed away.
It's crazy to think about so Jade doesn't like to do it, but she does today because it's been 10 years.
10 years since the love of her life died; since her life got flipped, turned upside down and thrown into the whirling winds of a tornado.
But she doesn't like to think like that, especially now, because she has Cat, who she married a few years after they started dating, and a beautiful 7 year old daughter named Kitty – that was all Cat's idea.
Jade visits Tori every year – and spends all day with her – but lately she's noticed that Cat has been a little annoyed with her, a little distant every time she talks about Tori. And Jade gets it because when her mind is on Tori it's almost impossible to get her mind off her.
Because really, it's been 10 years. Cat probably expected Jade to finally get over Tori's death and move on, but she can't and she doesn't think she ever will. Jade's just one of those people who'll always hold on to things and people who meant everything to her, even though there haven't been many.
So as Jade gets ready to go out and visit Tori she's interrupted by a loud, squealing little girl.
"Mama! Mama! Where are you going, mama?" Kitty asks Jade with big brown eyes and a questioning gaze.
"I'm going to... see an old friend, baby." Jade says as she pats her daughter's head.
"Who? Can I come? Can I come, mama? Please, I promise I'll be good!" Kitty says it so fast that Jade's head spins and she really can't help but smile at her little girl because she reminds her so much of Cat when she was younger.
"I don't know, hon. Maybe – "
"I'll ask mommy! If I ask mommy, can I come?" Kitty interrupts her and runs out of the bathroom yelling for Cat.
"Mommy! Mommy! Can I go with mama and visit her friend?" Jade laughs as she walks into the living room where Cat and Kitty are at.
"Jade?" Cat looks at her with sad eyes and a small smile. "Do you want her to go with you?"
Jade doesn't really have to think about it because she has been every year. She wants to introduce her baby girl to Tori but Kitty is so young and she's afraid she won't understand. And Kitty probably won't but Jade knows that Tori will be proud of her and her daughter.
"I do," and Jade shrugs before adding, "if that's okay with you?"
And Cat thinks about it because she knew this day would come. She knew that one year Jade would want to take their daughter to her sacred place and introduce Kitty to Jade's past love. Despite it hurting her – and it does, because this is her daughter and she doesn't know how to feel about it – she knows that Jade has to do this.
So as she looks from her daughter to her wife, she knows that she, too, has to do this.
"Yeah," Cat says with a small smile, "she can go, but we should talk to her first."
Jade looks at Cat incredulously, because she didn't expect her to agree, but she nods her head anyway, "Yeah, yeah, of course."
She takes a seat on the couch and calls Kitty to her, patting the spot next to her, "Come here, baby girl."
Kitty smiles and hops over to Jade, landing in the empty spot next to her as Cat sits next to Kitty.
"I'm going to tell you about my friend so when we get there you don't think I'm crazy." Jade says, scrunching up her nose and bumping her shoulder against Kitty.
"Okay, mama. Is she sick?" Kitty asks, her brows furrowing.
Jade smiles sadly and nods, "She was sick. She was sick for a long time. Do you know what happens when people are sick for a long time and don't get better?"
Kitty thinks about it for a little bit before lighting up – in an ironic way, of course. "They die?"
Jade chuckles and grabs one of her daughter's hands, "Yeah, they do. Well, sometimes they do. But this time, she died."
Cat noticed the way Jade's voice wavered at the last word and reached across until her hand was on Jade's shoulder. She gave her a small squeeze and smiled lovingly when their eyes caught.
"Your friend died, mama?" Kitty asks, her voice small and sad; and it breaks their hearts.
"Yeah, baby girl. My friend died. But it's okay because she didn't hurt at all."
"Did she die in the hospital? Was she scared? Were you there with her?" All these questions make Jade smile because her daughter is so smart and attentive and just too good for her own age.
"No no, we lived together – me and Tori – so she died at our house because she just wanted to be in the comforts of her own home. And she was a little scared even though she said she wasn't. I knew she was but I was with her so I helped her to be okay." Jade's looking down at her and her daughter's hands, intertwined on her lap and she feels her daughter squeeze her fingers.
"Were you sad, mama? Were you okay?" Jade feels her eyes sting, tears forming and spilling down her cheek. She didn't want or even expect to cry but her daughter is just so special.
"I was sad, yeah. I was really sad for a really long time. And no, I wasn't okay. At all." Jade chuckles. She feels her daughter wrap her arm around her waist and hug her tightly.
"But your mom here saved me. She came over every week and took care of me; she made me okay."
Jade looks over to Cat and sees that her eyes are shining with unshed tears and so Jade mouths l love you so softly that Cat shakes her head with a shy smile as the tears roll down her cheeks.
"Awe, mama. So we're going to go to her grave?" Kitty asks against Jade's chest.
Jade nods and kisses the top of her daughter's head, "Yeah. Her special grave."
"Can mommy come?" Kitty asks, pulling back and looking between her parents, "Do you want to come, mommy?"
Cat smiles but shakes her head no, "Not today, baby. Maybe next time."
Kitty nods her head understandingly and looks to Jade, "I'm ready to go."
They all get off the couch and walk towards the door. Jade grabs her coat and hands her daughter her own coat before pulling Cat into a tight hug. "Thank you, Cat." Jade whispers into Cat's ear and she feels her kiss the bottom of her own.
Jade pulls up to the same spot she has parked at for the past 10 years. It's a beautiful day out – like it always is on this day – and looks out to the city of Los Angeles. She then looks to her daughter and notices that she looks a little scared.
"Are you okay, Kitty?" Jade asks, turning in her seat so she's facing her.
Kitty looks at her with her big brown eyes and shakes her head, "I'm scared, mama."
"Why are you scared, baby girl?"
"What if your friend doesn't like me? What if she hates me?" Kitty asks with a shaky voice. She looks down to her lap, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh, baby. Don't you worry about that. Okay? She will love you. If she were alive, she'd probably try to steal you." Jade says with a little laugh and smiles when she sees her daughter smile too.
"She would?"
"Oh, yeah." Jade says with the rise of her eyebrows. "So how about you wait here while I go out and tell her about you, okay? And when I'm done, I'll call you over and you can talk to her. How does that sound?"
Kitty is laughing and smiling now. "Okay, mama, but don't take too long!"
"I'll try to hurry but it'll be hard to tell her how pretty and funny and kind and special you are in a little bit of words." Jade punctuates each word by tapping the Kitty's nose.
"Just go, mama!" Kitty pushes at her shoulder.
"I'm going, I'm going!"
Jade walks to their spot with her hands in her back pockets. Leaning back, she closes her eyes and inhales deeply, smiling at the freshness in the air. She exhales and looks out, feeling a chilly breeze blow past her.
"Hey Tor..." She whispers, her eyes following a few leaves being blown away.
"So, it's been 10 years. Can you believe that?" No matter how many times she says it, it doesn't get any easier and it doesn't hurt any less.
She chuckles sadly and looks back at her daughter who is looking back at her with a small smile. Kitty waves at her and sends her a questioning look, wondering if she can join her yet. Jade shakes her head no and holds up two fingers. "Two minutes, baby. Hold on."
Jade looks back out at the city and runs a hand through her hair. "I brought someone with me today. I think you'll really like her... I brought my daughter, Kitty. Can you believe that?" She laughs while shaking her head, "Can you believe I have a daughter?"
"She's 7 years old and..." Jade trails off, trying to find the right words to describe her amazing daughter. "And she's the most amazing, brilliant, compassionate little girl. She's so, so smart and fun and – and wise – I don't even know how lucky Cat and I are to have her in our lives."
"I brought her here to meet you – and I know that probably seems weird to do since you're not... actually here, but she's so special to me and so are you."
Jade turns back to her daughter and waves her over, a big smile breaking out on Kitty's face. Kitty races over and tackle-hugs her and laughs loudly. "Hi, mama."
"Hey baby girl. How are you? You okay?" Jade asks, running her hand through Kitty's brown curly hair.
"I'm good, mama." Kitty says and then looks around, making sure no one is around. Lowering her voice, she whispers, "Did you tell her about me?"
Jade laughs sweetly and pokes Kitty's nose, "I did, and she's very excited to meet you."
Kitty's eyes widen and she looks out to the city, "Really? Where is she?"
Jade sighs and waves her hands everywhere, "She's everywhere, baby. All you have to do is talk out to the sky."
"How will I know if she can hear me?" Kitty asks, perplexed. It makes her daughter look way older than she is.
"She can hear everything. And if she wants you to know that she heard, then you'll feel a small gush of wind." Jade explains, and in that moment, a small gush of wind blows around them.
"Did you feel that, mama! Was that her?" Kitty exclaims, eyes wide. Jade laughs and nods her head.
"You can talk, it's okay." Jade encourages, nudging her daughter's shoulder.
Kitty looks up at Jade, then out at the city before taking a large breath and letting it out. "Hi, Tori." She says hesitantly. She feels a light breeze and then smiles before continuing.
"My name is Kitty. Mama told me about you before we came. I'm sorry you died." It all comes out quickly and Jade chuckles. Rubbing small circles on Kitty's back, she sighs.
"Mama says she was really sad when you died; she cried when she was telling me." Kitty says sadly, looking up at her mama with apprehension.
"It's okay, Kitty. How about you tell her about yourself? Like, what you like to do and stuff." Jade smiles and points up to the sky.
"Ok. Uh, Tori. I like to draw – mommy says that I'm a really good drawer. And I like to sing! My moms say that I'm a really good singer! Right, mama?" Kitty all but squeals with delight. Jade laughs and nods her head.
"Oh, yeah. You're the best singer I've ever head, Kitty! Better than me, mommy, and uncle Andre combined!" Jade beams, wrapping her arm around Kitty's shoulders.
"See! And I really like school. My teacher says I'm the best reader in her class." Kitty says with a big smile.
A cool breeze chills their skin, making them shiver. Kitty smiles at Jade and then smiles out to the sky, acknowledging Tori's presence.
"I'm going to grab our coats, okay? I'll be right back." Jade gestures to the car. She walks backwards a few steps, watching Kitty wave animatedly around wondering what her little girl was talking about.
She expected this day to be sad and somber, but with Kitty here... everything was good and everything hurt a lot less. It's exactly what she needed this day to be. Jade grabs their coats and heads back over to Kitty, noticing how late it's getting.
"Here, put your coat on." Jade helps Kitty put her coat on, then puts on her own. "We're going to stay for a little while longer and then head home, okay? It's getting late and you have school tomorrow."
Kitty nods sadly and grabs Jade's hand, holding it tightly.
"So what were you two talking about while I was gone?" Jade asks, pulling her daughter closer to her.
"I was just telling Tori how you and mommy like taking me to the zoo! And which animals I like." Kitty says happily, swinging their intertwined hands.
"Oh, really? That's nice, baby." Jade smiles down at her daughter and notices her trying to hold in a yawn. "Hey, how about you go back to the car and lay down? I just want to talk to Tori for a little bit and then we'll head home, yeah?"
Kitty nods hesitantly and lets go of her hand. "It was really nice meeting you, Tori, even though you're not really here... and talking to you! Thanks for listening. Hope mama brings me again." Kitty waves out to the sky and closes her eyes as a breeze wraps around her. She smiles and runs back to the car.
Jade watches her as she runs to the car, making sure she gets there safely. She lets a smile grow on her lips at how well this day has gone. She looks up at the sky, loving how many stars are out and can be seen. These are her favorite nights.
"So, Tori. What do you think?" Jade chuckles. "She's a pretty great girl, huh? I told her that if you were alive, you would try to steal her."
Looking down at the grass, Jade sits down and pats Tori's spot. "I miss you, Tori. I know it's been 10 years, but I think I'm always going to miss you... no matter what or who I have in my life."
She looks out solemnly and smiles sadly. "It's probably a bad thing to feel and say, but... I don't know, I just really, really wish I could hold you, even if it's just for one last time."
Playing with the laces on her boots, Jade thinks about all the years that have come and gone, of all the things that could have been and currently are, of all the mishaps and happenings, of everything.
"Don't get me wrong; I love Cat and I love Kitty, I love them both so much. And I am so glad, so happy, so appreciative of what they've done to me, for me. But..." Jade trails off, wondering if she should go down this road, again. "I love you. Still do and always will."
"You changed me. You made me want to change. You made me want to be a good person – a loving, happy, good person. And because of you, I am who I am today."
She wipes at the few tears that escaped and scrunches up her nose, disliking that she's always so emotional. "Except, I could do without all the crying and stuff. Totally ruining my badass image." She chuckles softly.
"Anyway, I just want to thank you, Tori. I know I thank you all the time, but I can't help it. I appreciate and am so grateful for you and everything you've done and continue to do. Thank you; I love you." She whispers the last part and stands up, wiping the back of her pants.
She hears the car door open behind her and she turns to see her daughter looking at her with tired eyes. Jade holds up a finger and yells, "One minute, Kitty, okay?" Kitty nods her head and closes the door.
"I better get going; Cat's probably worrying a hole in our rug right now. " Jade laughs, imagining a pacing Cat.
Before leaving, she drops her head, closes her eyes, and spreads out her arms. She inhales deeply, holds it, and lets it out slowly. Opening her eyes, she sees a shooting star and makes a wish.
With a small smile, she whispers out into the sky, "I'll be seeing you, Tori."
As she walks to her car, a cool wind bites at her skin and she smiles, relishing in the piercing feeling.
She spent a usually melancholy day with her beautiful daughter who got a chance to meet a very special person and turned this day into a calm one. And Jade couldn't ask for anything more.
A/N: I've had this in my drafts half done forever. I finally finished this last night, and let me tell you something... I AM GLAD I FINISHED IT.
I hope this was a suitable ending to the "What are you thinking about?" and "So what do you think?" installments.
So did it? :-)
Anyway, reviews would be nice - whether they're good, bad, neutral, insignificant.
Thanks for reading!