Title – Fully Alive

Synopsis – Even Cameron is unaware of just how human she is. Deals with the very humanistic qualities of Cameron, hints at her true mission, and explores her relationship with John. Follows the show up through "Heavy Metal."

Disclaimer – I do not own Terminator or anyone associated with the franchise. If I did, I would own Dekker and Biehn. Kudos to Flyleaf for the title inspiration and the lyrics included.

Note –Originally planned to go in a different direction with this, but then I wrote chapter 2 and had to make some changes because I enjoyed it so much.

Also, after watching tonight's episode ["Queen's Gambit", I'm a little worried about my story. I prefer to keep stories in canon, but there were hints about Cameron in the latest episode that would go against what I would hope for. Having said that, I think I will continue this story the way it is. If I like the way the show is going, I might add a second part to this one.

Thanks to the following for all of their reviews and encouragement: PadawanMage, Hawki, RubyFresh, I Am The Prince of Wales, Scipio'sgirl, rivermer, bookwormbeauty, and HalloweenJack138.

Fully alive and she knows

How to believe in futures

Chapter 1

What is your mission?

To protect John Connor.

Cameron stood in the room that Sarah had assigned to her. On the dresser table lay the coltan that she had taken with her. She had not told Sarah or John that she had it. She wondered if she should. Would it benefit her mission? Would it compromise her mission?

She weighed the possible outcomes of such a confession to her human counterparts, and the logical answer was to keep the information to herself.

Cameron carefully picked up the coltan and delicately wrapped it in the towel that she had taken from the linen closet. She knelt beside her bed and placed the bundle carefully out of the way under the bed. She determined that Sarah and John would not think to enter her room. There was no reason. Sarah and John had left her to herself.

She stood up. Having hidden the coltan, she reevaluated the past couple of days in light of her mission.

She had managed to keep John safe at school, particularly with the Jordan Cowan incident. John was not happy with her, she could tell. Nevertheless, she had done her job. He would see she was right eventually.

However…

The look on his face this morning, when she had walked in on his and Sarah's discussion and told them about Cromartie, had hurt her.

No, not hurt. She was not programmed to feel pain. The look on his faced disturbedher. No, wrong again. What was it? The look on John's face—

Hurt, disturbed, bothered, concerned, degraded, disgraced, dishonored, embarrassed, humiliated, offended, perturbed, troubled, upset, wounded…

No, no, no. None of these words worked. They described human characteristics likeemotion, pride, and honor. Such things were not found in a terminator.

Cameron shuddered. She knew that she was a terminator. Terminators do not feel. Not pain, not pity, remorse or fear.

Nevertheless, the fact that John was mad at her hurt Cameron. There was no other term for it. Cameron had feelings, and they were hurt.

Cameron sat down on the floor, hard.

And that is how John found her an hour later.