Love Me Always

by frosty wonder ice

ReWritten Shounenai Taito with bits of Daikenkeru in it. Taichi vies for Yamato's attention.

Author: frosty wonder ice

Genre: Romance/Angst

Summary: Taito, bits of Takedaiken, sad and unexpected ending.

Digimon is not owned by the author of this fic.

I, er, have problems going back and forth between present and past tense, so forgive me of that. I re-wrote this fic because I hated how it was at first. So maybe it will make more sense and be less childish. So if you are re-reading this, I hope you like it a lot better this time. The "break-up" isn't nearly as dramatic and long as it was before, but… I hope it is still okay. It is exceptionally shorter.

(time shifts will have to be in parenthesis because ff. net isn't taking my formats)

I know that everything is not going to go my way all the time. I can imagine what kind of a person I would be: a selfish brat. So I understand why I am sometimes left disappointed. That is not the problem. I only wish that things would go my way every once in a while. Nothing has gone my way – with the exception of defeating the Dark Masters and saving the Digital World, of course.

It seems that all the glory I received when I was eleven burned out the glory for the rest of my life, and today was not going to be any different.

Today things were going his way, again. I fought to avoid this, but apparently it is impossible for me to avoid my feelings for my best friend. Come to think of it, it is impossible to avoid my best friend. When I actually wanted him around, it seemed that he was always busy. Now I try to stay away from him and clings to me like a leech.

He is not stupid. He has started to notice my less-than-friendly behavior, and, of course, he decides to pull that 'you-are-shunning-me-and-I-can't-figure-out-why' thing, putting quite the guilt-trip on me.

"Tai, why are you avoiding me?"

Honestly, it is a pain in the ass.

Now he has this idea that the two of us should talk about it, when the whole time I just want him to leave me alone. I was raised to believe that, "He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare," but I really think I could spare him, which is odd, as he holds the crest of friendship. Is that not just incredibly strange of me? To hate the person who is supposed to be a friend to all?

Maybe that is why I hate him.

No, I'm lying; I am beyond lying. I don't hate him, and that is the problem. I am in love with him. I love my best friend. I love my best friend. I love my best friend. You know, no matter how many times or different ways I say that, it doesn't sound right. I love my best friend who is male. This would not be a problem if I was, oh, say, a girl, but I'm not, so I forced into a position where I should either admit my feelings or ignore them.

Naturally, I chose to ignore.

At least, I tried to. When I look at him, especially on the rare occasion that I look him in the eye, I can't lie, and, thus, cannot ignore what I feel. Then I get this tickly-tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach that I know I should not be getting, and I get so distracted by that feeling that I stop listening and just stare. Unfortunately, I usually miss whatever the hell it is that he is saying, but that is okay, because for that moment, I feel like I might be in heaven.

"Are you going to answer me?"

Then I fall straight to hell.

I sighed and looked back at Yamato standing in front of me – exasperation works so well with his features. "Why do you think I am avoiding you?"

Well, technically it is not a lie. I have not denied it yet, which would be lying, so I guessing I am still on stable-ish ground. Although, with him, I am never sure.

"Because you duck into the nearest room when you see me coming in the hallway. You never actually talk to me unless I force you to look at me and I start the conversation." Yamato has rolled his eyes toward the ceiling during his spiel and counted the reasons off on his fingers. It gives me a moment to fidget before he starts staring me down again. "I can go on forever Tai. Why don't you just tell me the problem?"

I'm madly in love with you, that's why. Wow. I wonder what he would do if I threw myself at him right now? Such dramatics are usually reserved for Miyako (I always preferred exaggeration to drama).

"I've got to be home soon. Can we talk about this later?" I ask, looking at my watch for emphasis, and begin to stand up. Yamato simply places a hand firm on my shoulder, making that tickly-tingly feeling inside of me spread throughout my body, and pushes me back onto the couch.

We're at his apartment. He has wanted me to come over to talk about our "problems" for a while now, but I have been fortunate enough to avoid him. However, today he waited for me to finish soccer and then dragged me to his place, not that I didn't mind him taking my hand.

His fingers had been cold then. He's always so cold. His apartment is always like a desert because he turns the heat on very high during the day and then drops it down low at night. He has this huge, thick quilt his grandmother made him for his bed so it doesn't matter how cold it gets. Anyway, that is not the point – I tend to get sidetracked easily.

Back to Uncomfortable-Moment-Of-Doom.

Yamato is looking at me a little softer now, but his expression appears to be a little worried. I hate that expression; I get incredibly nervous when he looks at me like that. "Taichi… you're my best friend and if you're… I don't know, doing drugs or… something, then I want to know."

He wants to know if I am doing drugs. I want to laugh, but I know it will offend him. He is just so serious about it. Shouldn't I be the one worrying about him? He is in a rock band, after all, and I know what his fans are like. Besides, I care too much about soccer. He should know that.

Although, he must have noticed (it was pretty obvious – he would have to be blind and deaf to not notice) my little choked snort of laughter. It's just, he looked so serious!

I received a good smack on the back of the head and particularly vicious death glare for it, though. I straightened up, rubbing the back of my head (whatever happened to that no-hitting pact we made so long ago?). "Sorry, you just…" He arched an eyebrow, daring me to finish that sentence. "Er, well… To answer you question, no. I am not doing anything like that."

"Then what is it?" he demanded, throwing his hands in the air, only to fold them over his chest a moment later. He gave me a long, quizzical stare, and then turned his back on me. "You've been doing this for a while, acting like a damn squirrel when we're together, but it seems to only have gotten worse since I started dating Sora."

He stopped there, thinking over something in his head, and I suddenly found the target of this topic to be heading in strange direction. I gave him a calculating look, even though he couldn't see. I'm not sure I like what he is getting at with this.

"I told Daisuke about," he finally continued after a moment, which made me wonder. Since when were he and Motomiya Daisuke such good friends that they talked about personal problems with each other. "He suggested that maybe you like Sora, but I don't really see that. She's not really your type, but… I don't really have anything else to go on…" He suddenly rounded on me. "Do you like her? Is that what this is all about?"

I was expecting it, but at the same time I was totally unprepared. I… started laughing. This is probably why Yamato went crazy and tried to kill me – I never take him seriously. It has to be annoying for him.

"No!" I managed to get out. "Hell no! Oh, gah, ick no."

"I didn't think so," Yamato said flatly, obviously offended that I thought his girl was too disgusting to like. Which isn't true. I like Sora, just not like that.

I managed to stop laughing, opting more for a small chuckle. I really did not want to be smacked again. I choked, though, when Yamato dropped on the couch right beside me, so close that he was pressed against me. I quickly pulled my hand that had been resting on the top of the couch back to my side.

He leaned towards me.

I leaned away from him.

"Tai…" He started, using that slow tone that makes it so damn hard for me to lie to him, and I think he knows it. "I just had this idea come to mind. Do you… like me?"

My breath caught in my throat. I wanted to lie so bad. So very, very bad. It would make things easier, I think. I wish I could stare him directly in the eye and say no. But I can't. Instead my eyes shot to somewhere else in the room, evading the firm stare Yamato was giving me, and I replied in a – I hate to admit this – squeaky voice, "Yes."

"Oh man, Tai," Yamato breathed, as if relieved. I suddenly felt myself being hugged. Quite unexpected. He pulled away from me with a smile. "Damn it, Tai, you had me worried. I was coming up with all these ridiculous scenarios in my head. Half of them… gah, I've been watching too many cartoons."

I just gaped – wide mouth and everything – at him. "You mean… you're not, um, bothered at all that I, um, have this, um, huge crush on you?"

And I will attract him with my ability to form coherent sentences.

Yamato laughed. "Of course not. I'm flattered actually. Why? Did you think I'd hate you or something like that?"

I blinked at him, then shoved him away from me. "Well, yeah!" I exclaimed. "What else would I think? I didn't just think you would hate me! I thought I would be taking a visit to the hospital, too!"

"Sorry!' Yamato yelled back at me, giving me an equally hard shove. "Hell, Taichi, I can hit you if you really want me to. I apologize for being nice about your 'huge crush' on me. Come on, you're my best friend! Why would I hate you? I could never hate you. For the record, I didn't even hate you when I was trying to kill you, as twisted as that sounds. I just… You're just… I'm sorry."

We didn't look at each other for a moment, though I was feeling incredibly happy. Cloud nine, is it? Well, whatever, I was feeling good.

"You've been watching too many cartoons, and I've been reading too many stories," I mumbled at last, trying to break the awkwardness that had settled between us.

He laughed a little, humoring me, I suppose, or trying to help. It was weird, sitting with him and knowing that he knew. I always feared this moment, but it is not as bad as I built it up in my mind to be.

Yamato stood up, stretching, and then looked back down at me with an evil smirk and gave a little shake of his butt. I shot him a glare, even though it was a rather nice shake.

"Come on," he said, motioning for me to get up and follow him. "I want you to take a look at something for me."

"What is it?" I, as usual, obediently followed him. Gah, sometimes I swear I am such a lovesick puppy. I hope he never realizes how much control he has over me.

"I got this letter with all the rest of my fan mail, but it's really creepy. I want you to tell me what you think of it."

He really is wonderful. Unlike most straight-turning-gay men, I never had to ask myself why I was having feelings for my best friend. It is so obvious. Who couldn't fall for that gorgeous body? I mean, the cynical and sometimes cruel personality could be worked on, but… truth be told, I am not sure I would like Yamato any other way.

Sora doesn't know how lucky she is.

(time shift)(time shift)

"My mouth is on fire. I need some milk."

He says it so calmly while he looks at me. I just grin and shake my head at him as he waves off the only waitress gracing the small "restaurant."

I have never understood this certain personality quirk that he has. No matter how much pain he is in, he is surprisingly calm and collected. He never yelps, or cries, or screams, or anything. He just sits there and says things to me like, "This really hurts," or "I think I'm going to die."

What really gets me is that while we were in the digital world, he would shriek like a banshee if he stepped on a rock. He is playing with my mind, I just know it.

Of course, I am thinking about something else, too, while I am watching him, and as soon as the waitress walked off to get Yamato some milk, I choose to voice my thoughts. "If you didn't order that disgusting gunk your mouth wouldn't be burning. I swear, Yama, you go through this every time we eat here. Why don't you order something else?"

"Tai," Yamato said, drawing out my name before taking another bite of his repulsive blob. "Kindly do not call my food 'disgusting gunk' ever again. I happen to like chili."

"Uh-huh," I mutter and sip at my coffee. "If that's what you call it…"

Yamato rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. The waitress came back with a glass of milk and he gratefully took it from her. I've tried telling him to order milk with his… stuff - I refuse to call that chili – so he wont have to order it later, yet he insists that "this time" will be different. And I'm supposed to be the stupid one here? People give Yamato way too much credit and I never get enough. I think it's the blond hair. Everyone likes those golden locks.

"What are you doing for the rest of this afternoon?" I ask, silently begging for him to stay with me. It has only been a day since I told him how I feel, and surprisingly it hasn't affected our usual lunch together or anything. In fact, it almost seems like we are spending more time together, but I suppose that's just my imagination since it's only been a day.

A day is a long time, though – just go with me on this one.

Yamato sighed. "Sora wants me to take her to see this romance movie. I really don't want to go. The last time I went with her to one of those, I spent the entire time trying to figure out how women like such things. Maybe I'll call her and tell her to get one of her other boyfriends to take her."

Yet another thing that makes me wonder about him. Yamato always talk about Sora's "other boyfriends." I am really starting to wonder. "Too bad. I'm sure it will be just as thought-provoking as the last one."

"Want to come over?" he suddenly asks. I must have given him an odd look because he continues on to say, "If you're over then she wont be tempted to bother me. As tempted, I should say. She won't be as tempted to bother me. She has this thing about not interrupting two friends. She says that people need to spend ever moment they can with their friends."

"What about their boyfriends?" I snorted. I'll willingly confess that if I wanted to Yamato to take me somewhere and Sora was at his house, I would interrupt – in a heart beat – without feeling impolite at all. He would be mine and not hers. Wow. I never thought it would hurt so much to think about that. Ouch.

"She and I spend enough time together," Yamato said, waving his hand in the air like it wasn't important.

I shrugged. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course, Tai," he says, winking at me. "I'm always right. You should know that by now."

I rolled my eyes, but it does amuse me. He usually is right, but I would never give the satisfaction of agreeing with him. Maybe that is why he likes Sora and not me. Ouch. I have got to stop doing that to myself.

"Come on," Yamato yawned, reaching for his wallet. "Let's get out of here."

I follow suit, getting up and tossing some money on the table to pay for my coffee. Yamato had to borrow some change for everything he had gotten, which included a coffee, milk, a piece of cheesecake, and that stuff that he called chili. It was kind of weird, since I am usually bumming money off of him, but I still feel a little woozy around him even though my confession went over well.

"I like the wintertime," Yamato said as we stepped out of the small diner.

"Why?" I asked unpleasantly. Personally, I hate the wintertime. "It's so cold."

Yamato leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Exactly."

He grabbed my hand with a wink and pulled me across the street, as if I needed to be directed. Not that I really mind, but I like to complain. His apartment isn't too far from the diner, but by the time we got there I already numb. Like I said, I hate winter.

"Dad, I'm home! Tai is with me!" Yamato called. He paused to see if there was a reply and then shrugged. "Guess he's not home."

He quickly wiggled out of his coat and tossed it on the hooks beside the door and kicked off his shoes. I did the same and moved deeper into the apartment.

Here's the moment of truth.

The two of us had a little habit, and I have been wondering if it would change after what happened two nights ago. I sat down in my usual spot on one end of the couch, feeling rather nervous, and, to my complete surprise, Yamato jumped on the couch, like always, and laid down, using my lap as a pillow, like always.

I tensed, not too sure how to react now that he knew my ulterior motive of trying to get in his pants – well, not that really, but I wouldn't complain if he offered. I am such a pervert.

Yamato looked up at me and smirked. Damn him for knowing what he was doing to me. That jerk.

"We're thinking about a mini-concert in a few weeks," Yamato said with a yawn. "Our new drummer, Touya, keeps arguing with Shindou-kun, though, so who knows. I'll get you and the guys good seats."

"Whatever is fine," I say, not really listening, and begin to play with his hair, wrapping it around my fingers and letting it slide off like silk. I love his hair. He just closes his eyes and relaxes.

And this is our usual behavior. It feels weird, but comforting.

"Sora should call any minute now to see if I'm taking her to that movie," Yamato mumbled. "That or she'll come over."

"Mm-hm." I didn't really care, but Yamato always babbles on and on about things I didn't care about. I have learned to pretend to listen, as long as I can mess with his hair.

The front door clicked, and I glanced toward it, expecting Sora, but instead found Daisuke and Ken walking into the apartment. They were laughing about something and apparently it was snowing outside now. I gave them an odd look.

"Hey Yamato-san," Daisuke chirped as he slipped out of his shoes. "We're not going to be here for too long."

"Okay," Yamato muttered just loud enough for them to hear, and they disappeared into the kitchen.

Er… well, that was strange, but I suppose Yamato invited them over earlier and left the door unlocked for them. I can hear them talking in the kitchen. Actually, I can hear Daisuke talking in the kitchen, with the occasional grunt from Ken. Such an odd pair, though I do not have much room to talk.

Sometimes I wonder if their relationship is similar to the one I have with Yamato. I try to understand the little winks they give each other and the blushes they get when they are together. Even when Ken was the Digimon Emperor (wasn't that just the freakiest thing in the world?), I thought something was going on between them.

But Yamato merely shrugs whenever I try to bring their relationship up. It must just be my perspective, since my winks at Yamato were more than friendly. I shouldn't put Ken and Daisuke in the same category.

Still…

"Mm," Yamato murmured sleepily, and I smiled at him. "I forgot the mail…"

(time shift)(time shift)

We've got a mouse.

I noticed its little "presents" on the counter when I cleaned the kitchen and didn't much care, but now it as eaten into my bag of bread and that is wrong. I wonder what the mouse is doing right now. Twitching its whiskers and blinking those big eyes of his, perhaps. What if he is not a he but rather a she? Am I going to be seeing more little mice running around as the cause of this one?

Not that I have seen this one, yet. I guess he – or she – is the typical gray with a skinny, long tail. But say that this mouse was above your average mouse and it was a lightish brown color with a short, fat tail. Wouldn't that be interesting?

To a normal person: no.

Yet, to me, this seems fascinating somehow – I do not know why. It got me to thinking about the many different types of people in the world. It is amazing that there are billions of people on this planet, each of them interacting with one another, and we are all linked in a sort of who-knows-who way.

Take someone from Hokkaido, for instance, and connect him to someone in Reykjavik (the capital of Iceland). I will name the two people Yamato and Sora just to keep things straight, and pretend they do not know each other – something I kind of wish were true. Starting with Yamato, I could go through lines of people who know each other and/or are related to each other until I finally got to someone who knows and/or is related to Sora.

It is like we are all connected in some way.

Then I also got to thinking about how I see all these people – whether on TV, in the car next to me, bumping into them at the mall, or just simply glancing in their direction for a brief moment – and I never think about what their lives are like. I don't wonder if I am going to see them again, and if I do, will I recognize that person. Will I recall the exact position I was standing in and where exactly I saw whom I saw and what he or she was doing?

And the answer is, with the exception of one person, no.

So there are these billions of lives on Earth and yet I only meet a few. Like I said, I don't know why this fascinates me as much as it does. I could sit for hours upon hours just thinking about whether or not the person I pass while crossing the street will end up as a neighbor or a life long friend.

After all, that is how I met Yamato. I merely passed him on the sidewalk, then later saw him at preschool and decided to introduce myself. The thing that gets me, though, is that I recognized him. How, out of the many – and I do mean many – people that walked on the sidewalk that day, did I remember him? Was it fate?

All this thinking for just a little mouse, which I have yet to find.

"You look so deep in thought."

I glanced down at the blond using me as a pillow, yet again, and smile. "Yama, when have I ever been in deep thought?"

He grinned at me before glancing at his watch and sighing. Sora had finally managed to trap him into seeing the movie, and he was supposed to be leaving soon. I hate sharing him with her, but then my mind reminds me that he is not mine to share, and that if anyone should be bothered by our situation, it should be Sora.

Lucky, lucky Sora.

(time shift)(time shift)

"You want to come over for the night?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if my mom will let me since it's a school night."

I feel childish for saying that – "it's a school night" – but it is the truth. My mother doesn't like me to go places when I have classes the next day. However, Yamato's apartment isn't exactly "places." His home is like my second home. I am probably there more than I am at my own apartment. His father has never complained before, so it must be fine with them.

"Okay, then call me when you get home, all right?" Yamato said, giving me a slap on the shoulder before dashing across the street.

It started snowing before I got home. The elevator was broken so I had to take the stairs. Climbing six flights of ice-slippery stairs is definitely a way to make sure your adrenaline rush still works. It took my longer than normal, and I was frozen by the time I reached my apartment door.

After about eight or seven tries of trying to get my key in the lock, I finally managed to open the door. I could hear my mom cooking in the kitchen as I entered. I should have just knocked and let her open it for me. I kicked off my wet shoes by the door and hung my coat on a hook before walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, mom, can I go to Yamato's for the night?" I asked and grabbed an apple off the table.

My mother sighed and continued to stir whatever she was cooking, not bothering to turn around. "Taichi, you spend more time over there than you do here. How am I supposed to know if you are doing your homework?"

"I do my homework! What do you think I do when I'm over there?" I protested. Honestly, what else would I be doing, other than drooling over my best friend? Yamato and I actually help each other with different areas of homework, like he's good at math so he helps me with that and I'm good at health – surprise, surprise – so I help him. And if I don't finish my homework the night before, I'll just do it during study period since it's my first class of the day.

"Well…"

She sighed again. Even though her back was to me, I knew she was frowning. She already doesn't approve of Yamato. Well, it's not that she doesn't approve of Yamato, it is simply because she doesn't like that fact that it is just him and his father. Somehow she got the idea that the only thing that goes on over there is wild parties. I have tried to convince her that Ishida-san would murder Yamato if he even tried to have a party.

"I suppose… Are you going to eat before you go?" My mom asked.

I thought for a moment. If I went to Yamato's, I'd end up eating pizza or something like that… If I ate here I would probably have to eat whatever she is creating on the stovetop… I at least tried to make it seem like a tough decision to humor her. "Ah, no. Yamato said I needed to be over right away to work on our chemistry project. I'll see you tomorrow!"

At that, I dashed out of the kitchen before she could protest. I wasn't out right lying about the chemistry project. Yamato isn't my partner – we aren't even in the same chemistry class – but we agreed to help each other anyway. He, of course, is paired up with Sora – who never does anything in that class and copies everything Yamato does – and I with one of my friends from the soccer team, Kouichi, and he isn't any smarter than I am, so I call upon Yamato for help.

Calling Yamato was a bit bizarre. There were scuffling noises on the other end when he picked up and it sounded like someone was struggling for the phone. I could hear Yamato shout something about it being for him and I thought I heard Takeru in the background yelling for Daisuke to let go of the phone. More shouting and then everything went silent for a moment before, "Hello?"

That, of course, was Yamato. "Hey Yama…"

"Tai!" Yamato chirped. Then there was a muffled, "See! I told you it was for me!" and an even more muffled, "Bite me!" in the background.

"What's going on?" I asked cautiously, not too sure if I wanted to know.

Yamato snorted, and I somehow got the feeling that he was giving someone the middle finger. "We were fighting over the phone. Daisuke's being a bitch."

An indignant shout followed that comment.

"I see…" I didn't understand the point of this but Yamato didn't really give me a chance to question.

"So are you coming over or what?" He sounded so impatient.

"Yeah… it might take me a while to get there, though. It's snowing again and it took me forever to get to my apartment," I replied.

"That's okay." Yamato paused to shout something at Takeru. "The door will be unlocked when you get here so just come inside. I'll probably be in the kitchen."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

(time shift)(time shift)

The door was unlocked, and I pushed it open, happily greeting the warmth of the apartment for once. I could hear laughter ringing from the kitchen and what sounded like a playful argument. After kicking off my shoes and hanging my coat for a second time that day, I moved to the kitchen doorway.

My friends come from a different, alien species, so I am used to their eccentric behavior (although, I am usually the one leading the eccentric behavior…). The scene before me was not as freaky as some I had seen, but it did make me wonder what was going on: Yamato had Daisuke pinned with Takeru and Ken sitting at the table, turned in their seats to watch. None of them noticed my presence in the doorway.

"Give it back!" Yamato demanded, with a sweet smile, of Daisuke.

Daisuke was smiling just as big, and he struggled a little to get away before saying, "Now why would I want to do that?"

"You know Yamato," Ken said with a smirk, a tinge of Evil-Emperor in it, "I don't think I like you being so close to my Daisuke."

That alone was enough to shock me. What followed made my heart stop beating.

Yamato, after shooting a devious grin at Ken for the comment, leaned down and kissed Daisuke, who eagerly responded by wrapping his arms around Yamato and pulling him closer. Takeru laughs and Ken huffs, and I… I stand where I am with my mouth open and eyes wide, feeling like I am choking on either pain or jealousy.

Ow, it hurts, it really, really hurts.

"It's not every day you see this, now is it?"

At the sound of Sora's voice right beside me, I squeak – again with the squeaking, I need to work on that – and leap to the side, my shoulder hitting the doorframe as a result. Sora gives me an odd look before walking into the kitchen and grabbing her purse off the counter. Yamato sits up, with an amused look in my direction, and faces Sora.

Daisuke, seeing this as an opportunity to escape, began to slide away from Yamato, only to have Yamato place a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Sora starts, drawing out her last word. "I am going to Atsuko's party this weekend and I wanted to know if you'd like to come with me."

Yamato made a little whining noise – so cute! "I hate those parties, you know that. They're just a waste of time."

"Because sitting around here making out with Daisuke isn't?"

"Nope," Daisuke piped in with a grin. "There should be more Daisuke-lovin' in this world."

Sora rolls her eyes, but smiles at him nonetheless. She moves toward the doorway, giving me an appraising look, and wraps her arms around my waist, leaning into my shoulder. "Maybe Taichi would much rather come with me than stay here with you."

"I bet he'd quit soccer first," Daisuke snorts, causing the other four to laugh when I look away.

Sora pulls away from me and grabs my shoulders so that I am facing her, and proceeds to study me from top to bottom. Then, with a nod, she looks back at the others. "You're right. Taichi probably wouldn't know what to think, anyway." She turns to leave, throwing over her shoulder as she walks away, "I put your fan mail on your desk, okay? And, Daisuke, you better give him back his lucky pic before he beats your head in."

"Oh Yama, my love, you would never do that, would you?" Daisuke says, his tone dramatic.

Yamato grins. "Yes, Dai-chan, I would. Now give it to me!"

Daisuke sighs, and reaches into his pocket to reveal Yamato favorite guitar pic. Since Yamato usually keeps it in his pocket, I am not so sure I want to know how Daisuke got a hold of it.

Yamato gives him a pat on the cheek before getting to his feet and walking to where I am standing.

"I'll see you later Yamato," Sora yells from the hallway and in a second I hear the front door close with a click.

"Come on," Yamato says to me. "Let's go to my room to work."

He glances over his shoulder at the three still in the kitchen and frowns. "You can stay here as long as you like, but I'm not going to be used as an excuse for when your parents ask where you've been. Try to keep it down because we have to work to do."

As he closes the door to his bedroom, I jump on the bed and stretch across it. I already know we're not going to do anything for a while. We usually talk for two hours before actually getting to work. He's already passed over his book bag on the floor to shuffle through the mail on his desk.

Normally, I let Yamato pick the topic, but the whole Daisuke-thing still agitates me. I have two questions: is there something going on between Ken and Daisuke, and, if so, why didn't Ken freak when Yamato kissed Daisuke, and why was Yamato kissing him anyway, and why the hell didn't Sora care?

Okay, so that's like… four questions. Sue me.

Well, here goes question one: "Is there something going on between Ken and Daisuke?"

"Haven't you asked me that before?" Yamato mutters, lying back across me so that we made a cross on the bed.

I really wish he would just tell me these things. "Yes, and you never really answered me. Plus, Ken said 'my Daisuke.'"

"Yeah, I guess you could call them a couple."

"And Ken and Sora don't care that you were kissing Daisuke?"

"There's no reason for them to care. We were just kidding around." Yamato sits up and looks at me. "Does it bother you that I kissed Daisuke?"

What the- That asshole. "Do you really have to ask?"

Yamato gives me a soft smile and wraps his arms around me, laying his head against my chest and sighing into my shirt. "Don't be bothered, Tai. We were only kidding."

"Since when have you and Daisuke been such great friends anyway?"

I might be overreacting. Might.

Yamato sighs again, this one more annoyed and less sleepy. "You remember those weeks when you ignored me and avoided me, Yagami Taichi? You know, when you treated me like a nuisance? Well, Daisuke and Ken came over with Takeru once and we just grew to be better friends. After all, I had no real friends since you ditched me."

Ouch. Are hearts really supposed to hurt like that?

"I… I'm sorry, Yama."

"Don't worry about it," he replies gently. "Just don't do it again."

(time shift)(time shift)

Somewhere in the middle of the night, Daisuke, Ken, and Takeru came to sleep in Yamato's room.

Apparently, Daisuke told his parents he was with Ken, Ken told his parents he was with Takeru, and Takeru told his mom he was spending the night with Yamato. They set themselves up for disaster. That is the reason they had so many problems with the Digital World.

Somehow in the middle of the night, Daisuke, Ken, and Takeru kicked me and Yamato off the bed, claiming there were more of them and they were younger so they needed the bed to sleep better. I was about to protest but Yamato looked real tired and he was curling up against my side, so it suddenly didn't matter to me that I was sleeping on the floor. Of course the next morning I regretted not protesting because of the aches in my back.

We were all sleeping peacefully when Yamato's clock went off. Only, it went off in the form of a meow, unlike its usual screeching noise that scares the hell out of me. Then it meowed again. And again, and again. After about twelve to ten meows, it finally occurred to me that the meowing was not an alarm, but rather a cat. And this cat would not shut up. I wanted to sleep, and I'm pretty sure everyone else did because we all started groaning.

"Yamato," I heard Ken mumble – a hint of whine in his voice, almost as cute as Yamato's – from on the bed, "doesn't your cat have a snooze button?"

Yamato, still not fully awake, simply murmured in response, "I have a cat?"

I think at that moment, all of our eyes shot open with equal shock. We all sat up – all except for Takeru, who was sound asleep – and stared at the doorway where a small orange and white cat stood. It tilted its head to the side and meowed again. Yamato rubbed his eyes, I suppose in attempt to make sure he wasn't seeing things. The cat trotted over to us, stopping far enough away to sniff at us before coming closer.

"I got him from the animal shelter. They said he was in a fire a couple months back at an abandoned building. So I took him in."

We glance back to the doorway – our eyes having followed the cat on its trip – to see Yamato's father standing there wiping a pot dry with a towel. Yamato hesitantly reached out and pet the cat lightly on the head. It ducked away to smell his hand before moving to be pet.

"What are you going to name it?" Ken asked with a yawn, already laying back down to sleep.

"I don't know," Yamato replied. He was busy studying the cat, smiling with amusement as it swatted at his fingers.

"You should name him Spivey," Daisuke said. He was leaning over the sleeping form of Takeru.

"Spivey?" Yamato snorted. "Why that?"

"The abandoned building was called Spivey."

Ken scoffed at the remark. "And you know this how?"

Daisuke narrowed his eyes. "I saw it on the news, as a matter of fact."

"Right…"

The rest of the morning went by quickly. We all took showers, except for Takeru who woke up about ten minutes till we had to leave. He's lucky he has PE first period. He barely had time to get into his school uniform, and probably have worn his pajamas to school had Daisuke not threatened to dress him (sounding eerily like a mother).

"Takeru's a part of their relationship whether he likes to admit it or not," Yamato had whispered to me as we separated from them to go to the high school, "their" being Ken and Daisuke.

Hm… I should start paying more attention to those three.

(time shift)(time shift)

"What do you like about me?"

Yamato is either conceited or insecure, because that is about the sixth time in the past two weeks he has asked me that. He gets attention from everyone; why does he need me to tell him why?

There is a part of me screaming something about him needing to hear it from me and me alone, and I try ignoring it. I know he cares greatly for Sora, yet, oddly, sometimes I feel that she is just a "fling" he will eventually get over, only to become mine. Then I shake my head and remind myself that I am just fantasizing.

Kari needs to stop leaving romance novels lying around the house. I'm going to get addicted.

"Well, I like your hair…" I'm starting on the same thing I told him last time and the time before that and the time before that and so on, hoping he will get the point and stop asking. I mean, I love Yamato and I love to tell him how wonderful and gorgeous he is, but it hurts to say it knowing that he is with Sora.

Instead, though, he closes his eyes and snuggles closer. He has fallen asleep twice out of the six times we've done this.

The position we are in isn't so startling anymore. The first time Ishida-san came home and found his son snuggled up against my side with his arms wrapped around my waist, I thought I was going to die. But the elder Ishida didn't even bat an eyelid. He merely sat down on the coffee table in front of us and told Yamato about his day. I think he realized that I was mortified because he smiled at me before walking off, yelling over his shoulder at Yamato to do the dishes. With time, and the occasional embarrassing moment, I became accustomed to people seeing me so close to Yamato.

However, the people I am talking about are Daisuke, Ken, Takeru, and Ishida-san. Definitely not who was standing in the doorway at that very moment, eyeing Yamato and me on the couch.

"So, Yamato, are you going or not?" Sora asked, moving into the room.

I froze, and our eyes met. By now, I imagine that Sora knows I am lusting after her boyfriend. She and I have yet to speak on it (meaning she has yet to blow her top at me). Honestly, I doubt Sora would be angry, maybe a little cautious, but not angry. I get the feeling that she would tease me relentlessly.

But she just smiled in that kind way of hers before looking back at Yamato, who was sitting up with a groan.

"Sora," he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes, "I really don't want to."

"But you haven't been to a single one this entire year!" Sora protested. She gave me another smile when I tried to ever-so-subtly shift away from her boyfriend. "Relax Taichi."

I gave her a weak grin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Yamato waved his hand to get our attention again; selfish jerk.

"Atsuko will have another part, I'm sure of it," Yamato said, picking up the conversation. "She's had how many since school started? Seven? There are plenty I can go to. I really don't feel like doing anything tonight."

"I know, you never feel like doing anything, ever." Sora sounded exasperated. If Yamato's other option wasn't staying with me, I would be trying to support her right now. She sighed and gave him a long, calculating look. "I want you to go to this one. I think you will like it."

"Why?" Yamato asked cautiously, matching her look. "Is it more special because Atsuko will have more beer?"

Sora actually laughed out loud at that. "No, that's not it. I just… It's weird, you know? How you never go to any of these things with me. People are starting to talk."

"So?"

"So… I don't know. I guess that's not important, but it would be nice to have you there for once," Sora said with another sigh, running her hands into her hair.

Wow. I honestly feel bad for her. This is a strange feeling of regret that I have never experienced before. I have been snatching Yamato away from her a lot more than usual…

"More special than usual? Let's see…" Sora looked thoughtful, but then a wicked grin spread across her usually somewhat-sweet face, and it was directed at me. "There's going to be male strippers. Wanna come, Taichi?"

Yamato gave a bark of laughter and I glared at her, which was a pitiful glare because I am just not cut out for the vicious kind. I shook my head, turning my face away to hide my blush. "That's not funny."

"What's not funny?"

The three of us turned to see Ken, Daisuke, and Takeru coming inside. Daisuke bounced over to the couch, planting himself in the small space between Yamato and me. He leaned against Yamato, propping one leg over mine, and looked decidedly comfortable. The brat.

Takeru rolled his eyes and took a place next to Sora on the coffee table in front of us, and Ken sat on the other side of Yamato, asking again, "What's not funny?"

"There's going to be male strippers at Atsuko's tonight. We both agree that Taichi should attend," Yamato said, shooting a grin at me over the top of Daisuke's head when they laughed.

I have never seen Daisuke look more evil than he did right then. Wasn't he supposed to idolize me or something? What ever happened to that?

"You agree Taichi-senpai should go to watch, or to dance?"

"If he's dancing, then I'm going, too," Ken answered. Which was just plain wrong, hearing that said in such an innocent, reserved and quiet voice.

"You'd have to show him how to dance properly, Daisuke," Takeru said, giving me a wink.

"The fact that you know he's good enough to teach makes me wonder what you two have been up to, Takeru-chan," Yamato replied calmly.

I gave an evil chuckle at Takeru's sudden blush and stuttering, and Yamato and I hit a high five over Daisuke's head (the boy was a bit in the way of things). "Ha, score."

"Speaking of which," Ken turned to me with a smirk. Uh oh. "How often do you score with Yamato-kun?"

What a wicked, sinful child.

Takeru and Daisuke got a good laugh out of that one, and I have a feeling that Yamato and Sora were holding back just to make me feel better. Sora leaned back, propping her arms on the table, and gave Ken a once-over.

"Ken, the boy who does all his chores, makes good grades, does his homework, earned the crest of kindness, is able to tame even the wildest Daisuke, and never causes a disturbance of peace, is an absolute pervert."

"Of course," Daisuke said, like it was obvious. Although, I am beginning to believe that it should be. "The only thing geeks really think about is sex. Why else do you think I've latched onto Ken and Takeru? They make great lovers."

"Lovers?" Takeru squeaked. He blushed and looked away. "I'm not your lover."

"Yeah, Daisuke," Ken scolded. "He's mine. Get it right."

"What?!"

Yamato intervened then, taking pity on his poor sibling. Too bad. It was getting rather interesting. "Look, as far as I'm concerned, Takeru is too innocent to even know what sex is. This conversation is over."

"So you're not coming then?" Sora asked before Daisuke could speak.

Yamato sighed. "I don't want to, no."

"I guess it would be better that way," Sora sighed, standing up to stretch. "What with those letters and all…"

"What letters?" I asked, giving Yamato a curious look. "You mean you've gotten more since that one you showed me?"

Yamato shrugged. "A few. They're not that important."

Sora started to reply, and I really wished she would have finished, but instead she stretched her arms one more time before walking toward the door. "I'll see you guys later, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

I kept my eyes on Yamato while the other three went to make something to eat. "Are you sure it's okay? I mean, are the other letters as bad as that first one?"

"It's fine, Taichi," Yamato mumbled, lying back down on the couch. "I'm used to freaky fan mail by now."

"Yeah, but that one was more than freaky Yamato. It was a threat on your life."

"Relax. It's not that big a deal."

(time shift)(time shift)

Yamato hums to himself as he takes his time unlocking the apartment door. He knows I am about to freeze, the jerk. I'm about to steal the keys and unlock it myself, but I think my hands are too frozen to pose a real threat to him. By the time he unlocks it, though, I am already pushing past him to get inside.

Laughter greets me along with the warm air, making me curious, and I don't even bother shedding my coat and shoes before walking to the kitchen. Daisuke and Ken are sitting at the table, their homework spread out before them.

I turn back to Yamato, finally taking my coat off. "How'd they get in here?"

"I gave them a key."

"What?" Well, that is a bit shocking. Ow, ow, ow! There goes that pain again. "You gave them a key?"

"Are you deaf?" Yamato countered, grinning at me. "They needed a place to escape to, and I'm not always here. How else do you think they've been getting in?"

"How come they get a key and I don't?" I demanded.

Yamato cocked his head to the side, giving me a funny look. "Taichi," he started slowly, "you're always with me when you come over. Why would I give you a key?"

I had a counter to that, I'm sure, but I couldn't think of it at that moment. Instead, I closed my mouth and, with as much pride as I could muster, stomped to his bedroom.

He laughed, albeit quietly to save me some dignity, and followed me. He had a small stack of fan letters with him, having tossed the rest of the mail on the couch table when we passed it. He unwound the rubber band around them and flipped through them, pausing with a small gasp on a black envelope.

I was up and had it in my hands before he could stop me. "Is this it? Is this one of those letters?"

"Geez, Taichi, would you calm down?" Yamato laughed, but it was clearly forced. "You are overreacting."

"No, I'm not. You're being threatened. You should take this to the police," I said. I grabbed his letter opener and started to tear into the black envelope.

He snatched both away from me. "And look like some whiny little kid? Look, me and the guys aren't famous enough to have professional stalkers yet, okay? It's probably just someone from our school trying to be an ass. Okay?"

I wanted to protest, to take the letter back, but I couldn't, not when he stared at me like that. "I just have a bad feeling about it. Have you at least told your father?"

Yamato laughed, and this time it was quite a bit more relaxed. "Taichi, you have bad feelings about butterflies. How many times do I have to tell you? It's not a big deal. Besides, you're just saying all this because you're still mad at me for not giving you a key, which I have a perfectly good reason for not doing."

"That's not it," I whined, watching as he put all of his fan mail into his desk drawer.

But, yeah, that was probably it. It hurt, after all, good reason or not. He could at least give me one as a token of our friendship, not that we really need one to know that we're friends, but…

I want a key, damn it.

(time shift)(time shift)

Yamato and Sora have a strange relationship. I have always known this, but now that I am not trying to avoid Yamato, I have begun to pick up on a few important details.

Their relationship is an "open" one, meaning they can do anything they wish with anyone else only if they never start a relationship with anyone else. Er, yeah. I think that is what it means. It is confusing.

But I do know that Sora spends a lot of her time with other guys. They take her to see movies, out to eat, and generally have fun with her. Yamato doesn't mind, as long as she never takes it too far. And, of course, Yamato can do the same (as I have seen with Daisuke). I know I am naturally overprotective, but I think that sort of relationship is weird.

Daisuke laughed when I told him this. "A wise man once wrote: people don't form relationships," he quoted, sending a sly look at Ken, "they take hostages."

I'm still not sure if I heard the sound of a whip crack escape Ken. Maybe I'm repressing it.

I am afraid, though, because Yamato and Sora seem to be drifting. Why should this bother me? Because Sora is the one who is doing all the drifting and I worry that she is going to end up hurting him. I really do worry about him.

But maybe Yamato isn't as oblivious as I think he is. Maybe that's where his need for conceit is coming from, because he certainly hasn't stopped asking me to describe how wonderful he is.

Currently, he is curled up to my side, legs stretched across my lap and hands snuggled near his face so he can lean on them and my shoulder. We were discussing important opinionated issues, but then he began to cuddle and I braced myself for another speech on how wonderful he was. I've actually got a run of sentences that I've memorized.

Doesn't he realize that this hurts me?

"Wash my hair."

Blink. What?

"What?"

"You know, how they do it when you get your hair cut. I love it when people wash my hair."

Whatever look I happened to be giving him must have been offensive because he hit me.

"I'm serious, Taichi." And he pulled away from me to prove it. Grabbing my hand, he drew me off of the couch and toward the bathroom.

"Whoa, wait. I never agreed to this." Panic! What the hell does he think he is doing?

Apparently, the answer to that question would be: taking off his clothes.

I turned away (yes, I want to see him beautifully naked, but this isn't what I had in mind). "Yamato… What are you doing?"

"Huh?" He asked, muffled by his shirt as he lifted it over his head. "I don't want to get my clothes wet."

"I never agreed to this," I repeated.

"And?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" That came out a little more violent than I meant for it to be. But it hurt, and the look on his face when I screamed at him only made things worse. "Just… stop it."

"Taichi, stop wh-"

"Don't pretend to be clueless!" Argh, there are things about him that just… "Stop playing with me! Okay?"

Yamato looked truly hurt. "I'm not playing with you."

He sounded so small. Why does he do this to me? I feel guilty when I know I shouldn't, when I know I have a right to be angry. What do I say?

The front door is being opened; we both hear it, but neither of us moves to see who it is. By the noise, I am guessing Daisuke and Ken. It doesn't take them long to find us, and they look back and forth between the shirtless Yamato and me.

"What's going on?" Daisuke sounds smug, teasing, but the glare I send him wipes the grin off his face very quickly.

I turn on my heel and stride out of the room. "Nothing."

I grabbed my book bag on my way out. I almost slammed the front door behind me, but, while I am mad at Yamato, I can't bring myself to hurt his feelings anymore than the expression on his told me I had. I did, however, give the elevator button a particularly vicious jab. Several jabs, actually.

It's just… geh, why does he do that to me? He knows I have feelings for him and he throws them back in my face by flaunting himself. What does he want me to do? Flirt back and act like I'm just joking? I'm not joking, I never was joking. Why can't he understand? Does he honestly not realize how much he is hurting me?

"He's confused right now."

I must say that I am surprised to find Motomiya Daisuke stepping on the elevator with me. He gives me a small smile and hits the first floor button, with quite a bit less hatred in his manner than there was in mine.

"Confused? How can he be confused? I thought I screamed at him enough for even the neighbors to understand." Which wasn't all that true, considering my fit totaled five seconds max, but it certainly made me feel better to snarl words like that.

Daisuke narrowed his eyes at me. "And you think he's the only one who's oblivious?"

I gave him a sharp look. "What, pray tell, am I oblivious about, if that is what you are implying."

"Can't you see it? Yamato-kun has feelings for you, but he doesn't understand them." Daisuke sighed at my skeptical expression. "Look, before, it was just you and him, best friends, and he thought feeling the way he felt was perfectly normal. Then Sora came along and he started to get romantic feelings for her, and after a while you confess your feelings for him. So he starts to realize that a lot of what he thought were 'friendly feelings' for you feel a whole lot like what he also feels for Sora. So, he's confused."

"Well, I'm sorry he's confused, but he can't have both of us! Either he stops flirting with me or he breaks up with Sora." That sounded a lot meaner than I meant it to, something that seems to happening a lot today. I run my hands through my hair, aggravated. "Does it not occur to him that he's hurting me when he does that?"

Daisuke frowned. "I don't think it does. He's too busy trying to figure out what to do."

The elevator came to a halt and I stepped off, pausing to look over my shoulder at Daisuke. "Tell him that I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for this to happen. It's just… Tell him I'm sorry."

Daisuke gave me another small, sad smile.

(time shift)(time shift)

Things have been… uncomfortable since that day. Yamato doesn't use me as a pillow anymore. Hell, he doesn't even sit on the couch when I'm on it. Although, I haven't been going over to his house the way I used to, and the atmosphere at school is tense. The only reason I have gone over to his house since that day, and the only reason I am sitting on his couch now, is because Daisuke drags me.

There's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me this day is not going to end well. It could be that I am incredibly nervous around Yamato now, or that I ate something wrong, but I honestly feel like this day will end in hell.

It started out bad, with Hikari-chan moping around this morning about Takeru. Evidently, he finally came out to her yesterday, and, while somewhat supportive, she is rather depressed. I woke up to find her staring at me, having climbed up the ladder on our bunk bed to study me while I slept. It freaked me out a little, especially when she hit me with the teddy bear Takeru had given her and ran out of the room asking the heavens why all the digidestined men are gay.

She later apologized, stating nervously that she had no problem with my sexual orientation, but it still scared me. I guess random explosions are a genetic trait in my family.

I also get the idea that she somehow believes I am the cause of Takeru's "transformation," as she had called it. … Yeah, I don't get that either. Sometimes I worry about Hikari's mental stability.

Right now, Yamato and Takeru are in the bedroom discussing Takeru's problems. Daisuke and I are in the kitchen, not really talking. He looks decidedly guilty, and I suppose it is because Takeru turned down Hikari-chan. My poor family. We're all just a bunch of burned losers.

"So…" Daisuke leans back in his chair, staring at his feet. "How's Hikari-chan?"

Ah. I was right. "Depressed, though she appeared to be a lot better this afternoon when I got home."

"…Yeah?" Daisuke sounded hopeful. Poor kid. "She didn't really talk to me today. Just sort of smiled uneasily at me and ran off. I think she blames me for corrupting Takeru."

Heh. Where have I heard that before? "Really? I thought so, too. That she blamed me, I mean."

Daisuke cracked a smile, but it soon faltered. "I feel bad. First I took Ken from Miyako, and now Takeru from Hikari – with Ken's help, though."

"Greedy, aren't you?"

He did smile at that, and began to rock his chair onto the back legs. "Their both just so wonderful, you know? I don't know why they put up with me, but I love them for it. I don't know what I would do without them."

I can't help but smile back. He is practically beaming and it covers the small part of me that aches for Hikari-chan. I, personally, don't think I could love two people at the same time and just as equally, but it seems to work for him. Aside from Hikari-chan when they were younger, I have never seen him dote upon anyone the way he does Takeru and Ken.

It painfully reminds me, though, that Yamato and I still have problems.

(time shift)(time shift)

I was right about something bad happening. Not five minutes after Yamato and Takeru returned to the kitchen did Sora walk in, an older-looking guy sheepishly standing behind her. She was fiddling with something in her hand and looked incredibly out of place, not lifting her eyes off the floor to look at any of us.

We all knew what was coming.

"Um, Yamato, I…" Sora closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she finally looked sadly at Yamato. "I don't think this is working out. I mean, don't misunderstand me, I think you're amazing and I adore you, but let's face it. We're not meant to be. Look at our relationship. This isn't normal."

Yamato blinked. "You're breaking up with me?"

"Yes," Sora said quietly, and she stepped up to him, taking his hand in hers and dropping a key to his apartment in it.

Was I the only person that didn't get a key? I'm not still bitter about this. Honest.

"I'm sorry," Sora whispered. Her eyes dropped to the floor again. Wow. And I thought Daisuke looked guilty earlier.

Yamato was clearly shocked, but he forced a small smile. "If that's how you feel, then I'm not going to trap you. Besides," he laughed, though it sounded strained, "I'm not going to be that asshole that won't let go."

This hurts me and I'm not even participating. I just want to pull him close to me and hug away that expression. The guy that came in with Sora actually has the decency to at least pretend to be uncomfortable with and responsible for all this.

Sora is hugging Yamato, sniffling a little. She pulls away and they exchange sad smiles.

"I guess I'll see you around, yeah?" Yamato asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Yeah…" Sora leans up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. "See you."

She hesitates for a second, and then is leaving. We sit in silence even after we hear the front door softly close behind her. Should I be happy right now? I'm not, if I should be. In fact, I am feeling quite the opposite, and every time I glance at Yamato, it gets worst. He has a vacant expression on his face and he is staring at the spot that Sora was just standing in.

It hurts that he is in pain, but it also hurts that he cares so much for her.

"Yamato-kun," Daisuke says, standing up and gently placing a hand on Yamato's arm. "Are you okay?"

Takeru follows Daisuke's example and moves to Yamato. I feel like a spectator, sitting where I am and just watching, but what else can I do? My very presence must be rubbing salt in the wound for Yamato.

"Tell Dad that I went out, okay?" Yamato says quietly to Takeru.

"What? Why?"

Hm… None of us are too happy with that statement.

"I… I need some time to think," was the only reply we got.

(time shift)(time shift)

Yamato has been… different since.

Daisuke and I wanted to wait until he came back that night, but it soon got late and we had to head home, making Takeru promise to fill us in if anything happened. I trust Yamato to be stable, but I do worry. Plus, his break up with Sora made me feel even worse about blowing up on him.

School has been even more strained than before. People are flocking to Yamato (well, by people I mean girls); the news has spread quickly that he is "available." Leeches.

I try to be there for him, but we hardly speak anymore. If he feels half as nervous around me as I do around him, then we're pretty much a sinking ship. I don't want him to think that I am like all those girls, comforting him in hopes of dating him. I love Yamato more than anything, and it would kill me if he got the wrong idea.

But would he get the wrong idea? We have been friends for so long. Wouldn't he understand? I want to know, but I don't want to find out the hard way.

Plus, our no-touching relationship has evolved into not standing within two meters of the other. We don't even sit together at lunch anymore, although that could partly be due to me choosing to sit outside. Daisuke sits with me every now and then, for company he says, but I know he is keeping an eye on me while Takeru and Ken keep an eye on Yamato. It's sad that they, being younger, have to baby sit us instead of the other way around.

One good thing seems to have stemmed from this experience. Hikari-chan is happy to know that other people are feeling the same pain of being rejected, though I am positive she would deny it. She's been real sweet to me, though, and it is at times like this that I am glad she is my little sister.

(time shift)(time shift)

It is cold.

I have zipped up my coat, pulled on my hood, tied my scarf, and my hands are stuffed in my pockets, but I am still freezing to the point of numbness. I have been waiting for the bus for half an hour now. It's late because of the snow, I bet. It's been snowing since yesterday afternoon

"Taichi…"

Yamato slips his arm through mine, leaning against me.

"Come home with me."

What am I? A stray cat?

Takeru finally followed Daisuke at lunch one day to give me a good smack upside the head. It hurts simply remembering it. He then proceeded to yell at me for thinking that avoiding Yamato would be a good idea after his break up with Sora. I was being paranoid, he had screamed, and I needed to get my ass over to Yamato to be comforting.

I never knew Takeru had it in him to bellow like that. Daisuke is a bad influence.

But I did as I was told, and here I am, two months later, still Yamato's loyal best friend. Yamato is still confused, or so he told me, and not so sure he wants to be in a relationship with anyone (that hurt), but he has promised not to toy around with me (I practically squeezed the life out of him when he promised that – he looked so sad!).

"Please, Taichi," Yamato said, already tugging me in the direction of his apartment. "Come home with me today."

He is such a child, I swear.

I should take this as an improvement, though, since this is the first time he has initiated physical contact in a while.

I sound like a therapist.

"We should call Takeru and the others," I say, falling into step with him. I haven't been seeing as much of Daisuke, Ken, and Takeru as I used to, and, I hate to admit, I am starting to miss the brats. I am also wondering how their relationship is going…

Ah, relationship… Every time I hear the word I cringe. It is such a vile word. I think back to what Daisuke told me on the elevator, and I want to claw his eyes out. Didn't he say that Yamato likes me? I understand being depressed over Sora, but if he liked me as much as Daisuke made it sound, then why hasn't he done anything yet?

This is starting to give me a head ache.

"Yeah, I suppose we could," Yamato finally replies, frowning a little.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love that fact that he turns his heating way up during the day? It's heaven, honestly. I stand in the entry for a long while, content to stay there and defrost while Yamato goes to call Takeru. Ohh, it feels nice.

"Hey, Taichi, Takeru wants to talk to you," Yamato calls, sticking his head out of the kitchen doorway and giving me a funny look.

"Yeah? I'm coming," I say with a sigh and remove the extra bundles I have on before going to take the phone from him.

When I answer, isn't Takeru on the other end, but Daisuke.

"Taichi-senpai," he says, and sounds somewhat exasperated, "With all due respect, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I give the phone in my hand a puzzled look, and when I turn to Yamato, he is already leaving the kitchen.

"I mean, seriously," Daisuke continues, "Yamato invites you to his apartment – you! He doesn't say, 'Hey, let's all hang out and have our amazingly better digidestined friends come, too, to act as a barrier.'"

"What the hell? 'Amazingly better digidestined?' What are you smoking?"

"Hey! You disrupted me!"

"Uh, I think the word you are looking for is 'interrupted,' Daisuke," someone that sounds like Ken says in the background.

There is a pause, and then, "Ah, whatever. The point is, Yamato has clearly made his choice and has clearly given you the opportunity of making a move, and you get the grand idea of inviting us over. Which, by the way, you are interrupting our sexual activity."

"Daisuke!" That was Takeru. The evil cackle was Ken.

I can't help but be a little confused with all this. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Daisuke drew the word out, and I can practically see him rolling his eyes for dramatic effect, "get your ass in there and claim your undying love for him. Retard. Our job these past two months has been to restrain you from throwing yourself at Yamato. Don't you think that maybe he invited only you over because he wants you to throw yourself at him? Geez, even I've got this figured out."

I hung up as he continued to rant. Butterflies. Oh so many butterflies, and they were congregating in my stomach.

When I finally left the kitchen several minutes later, I found Yamato stretched out on his couch, seemingly asleep. I stood over him, still unsure if Daisuke was sending me after a goose. It would really screw things up if he were, but he did have a point (damn him).

Yamato's eyes opened and he looked up at me. We just stared at each other for who knows how long. I have to admit, I'm not really paying much attention to the time. He finally sits up though, which, inevitably, puts him closer to me.

"So, what did you two talk about?" he asks.

Something flickers in his eyes.

Ohh…

I somehow manage to shrug. "You know, he was just being an ass. Said I had interrupted their sex."

Yamato tilts his head to the side. "Is that all? What took you so long then?"

Restraint is not my forte, and, before I realize what I am doing, I am pushing him back on the couch and am hungrily kissing him.

Wait, what am I talking about? Restraint has to be my forte. I have been restraining from doing this for how long? Four years, at the least? I want my reward, damn it!

Even after having Daisuke insult me for not realizing Yamato was waiting for me to make a move (why did I have to be the one? Couldn't he have done something for once?), and even after seeing that look in his eyes, I am still surprised that he responds. Wow, does he respond.

Except, ow. Ow. "Ow!"

I draw away from him, trying to frantically untangle his fingers that have tightened in my hair. Dear Lord, that hurts! "Don't do that," I manage to gasp out. "It hurts."

"Whatever," he replied breathlessly, and jerks me back toward him.

(time shift)(time shift)

He's so gorgeous.

I don't remember moving from the living room, but when the excitement simmers and we're left breathless, I find that we are in his room. I should be worried that that piece of my memory is gone, but I'm not, since it is, instead, replaced with lots of kissing and touching and… Mm, I love him.

He has to do something about those nails, though. I must have clumps of hair missing and bloody cuts from where I swear he was trying to scalp me. I have the strange urge to call Daisuke and tell him how happy I am, but I suppress. I am such a girl.

Yamato sighs beside me and snuggles closer. "What are you thinking about?"

"How much I act like a girl."

He laughs and sits up, smiling down at me with an odd, fond sort of smile. "This has been a weird year."

"The year isn't even over yet," I murmur, drawing him back down to me. Now that I have him, I don't ever want to let him go. I close my eyes and breathe him in. "I love you, you know."

"I know," Yamato sighs against me, and he sounds so happy about it. I'm glad that I can make him smile again. "Love me always, Taichi. Please?"

I give a small laugh. "Do you even have to ask? I think it is a given."

He gives me a kiss, a sweet, chaste one.

"I'm glad."

(time shift)(time shift)

The air is perfect; the sky is dimmed, but not in the least bit dreary. Gray clouds block out the sun and the cool wind whips around us on the sidewalk. It is going to rain, of that I'm sure, but not for a while, despite the little droplets that are occasionally falling.

Spring rain.

Here to wash away all the pain and suffering that went on during the wintertime.

Yamato and I walk in a comfortable silence. There are people around us laughing and greeting one another, but I am fine simply having him by my side. The three brats (as we lovingly call them) are smug with themselves, feeling they were the reason we even got together in the first place. Sora laughs at them and says she is the one who took care of everything.

We're closer to her now, I think. Yamato says it is easier to be her friend now. Ken says that is all they ever were; that it was always Yamato and me, and Sora as our friend. We just never realized it. In some ways, I guess he is right, but I feel better in knowing that I can take Yamato's attention without feeling like I am stealing him from someone.

Our walk is interrupted by a group of fan girls. Yamato's band has gotten more popular in the past few months. I have always known that depression is a good muse, but I had never seen it put into action the way Yamato used it. He is amazing.

The girls thrust pens and pads of paper at him, and I step back, giving him a teasing smile. That is what he gets for being a star. Those that get to shake hands with him stare at their hands in wonder, and I know they won't be washing said part of their body tonight. They're sweet girls, if a bit clingy.

I don't see it coming. They are smiling so happily, and Yamato is humoring them, answering some of their questions. He has such an incredible smile.

It is loud, too close. Yamato's body jerks and the girls scream, scattering. The pen and notepad drop from his hands toward the ground and he starts to follow, his eyes wide open in shock. I somehow manage to catch him, pull him close to me, but I can feel it on my arm; I can see it beginning to pool beneath him.

And everything slows down.

Around me is nothing but muffled blurs. Yamato stares up at me, his breath is quick and I can feel his heart beating from where I am holding him. I want to stop it, but I don't know how.

Something catches my eye, and when I look up, I see a black envelope being caught by the wind and pulled into the street.

Cold fingers on my cheek, and I look back to him, sorry that I ever looked away. I put my own hand over his, afraid to let go of him. He coughs, the noise drowned with everything else, but I can see blood on his teeth, in his mouth. He's crying, but I can't help him.

Is that cry of pain mine or his?

The wind changes and I can hear his voice being brought up to me.

"Taichi… I love you…"

And he never looked more beautiful, more alive, than at the moment before his eyes dim.