Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
A/N: Just FYI, this is not how I usually write. If this is the first story of mine that you've read I encourage you to go read some of my others. I promise they're better than this one! Please, please, please do not review just to tell me that this story seems odd or could have been written better. I know that; I wrote it in half an hour for my best friend. Yes, I could redo it, but I kind of like it the way it is now. So please, no flames. :) Thank you!
Once upon a time, Alfred F. Jones-more formally referred to as the United States of America-brought home a bear. His husband, England, was not amused. "Alfred, why would you bring home a bear?" He asked the only logical question. Alfred smiled.
"Well because my brother has a bear and I want one too." The American replied, smiling. England sighed. He had hoped that the bear was in fact Canada's, because then he would just make America call his brother and tell him to come get his bear. (This was not at all logical because Canada's bear was white and this bear was more of a brownish-black.) Now he would have to call a zoo or something.
"Now I'll have to call a zoo or something, Alfred. How am I supposed to find the number for the zoo? You throw away all of your phone books." The Englishman sighed, speaking more to himself than to his husband. America just stared at him.
"It's called the Internet, Iggy. But that doesn't matter because we are not giving my bear to the zoo!" The American replied, wrapping his arms around the bear cub's neck tightly.
"Alfred, I don't think it's even legal to have a bear here…" England replied softly, earning a look of disbelief from his husband. "Well, it's probably not!" The Englishman defended himself. After all, they were currently living in the middle of New York. But Alfred's look of disbelief only strengthened.
"It's my country, Arthur. The "F" in my name; yeah, it stands for Freedom. I can have a bear where ever I want because it's my birthday and I wanted a bear and now I have one and you will never take her away ever." The American replied, hugging his bear's neck tighter. England was rather surprised that the creature hadn't harmed him yet.
"Wouldn't a teddy bear be better?" He asked tentatively, worried about asking anything that would make his husband hold the bear any tighter. Alfred snorted.
"Teddy bears are for little kids, Arthur. Real men have real bears for pets." The American replied, grinning as if even he recognized the ridiculousness of his statement. "I guess that makes Canada a man then." England sighed, resisting the urge to hide his face in his hands. Sometimes he found it hard to believe that his husband had once been an obedient colony. "I'm not sure if it counts for him, though, since his bear his always forgetting who he is…" Alfred was rambling, his hold on the bear in his arms loosening enough for the animal to wiggle a bit.
"Um, Alfred?" England tried to get the American's attention; he did not want to think about the consequences of the bear getting loose in the middle of their kitchen. Alfred continued rambling, clearly having decided to ignore England. The Englishman sighed; sometimes his husband was too childish for his own good. The bear wiggled a little more, nearly completely out of the American's hold. "Alfred!" England snapped, more harshly than he'd intended. The American looked at him, completely startled by his husband's tone. England rarely yelled at him, and had never done so before simply because he was tired of being ignored.
"What?" He asked innocently, his blue eyes wide. Without answering, England marched over to him, grabbed the bear just as it freed itself, and glared at his husband.
"We are not keeping the bear. Go call the zoo." Alfred nodded wordlessly; he had learned long ago that sometimes arguing with England was a very bad idea. And so Alfred called the nearest zoo while England watched the bear, and afterwards England made him promise not to bring home any more animals. Even if it was his birthday.
A/N: So uhh I apologize right now for the sheer randomness of this. But my best friend is sad and she asked for a story about a bear (I'm really sorry if you wanted a story that focused on a bear I couldn't think and then I was typing and this happened.) And this doubles as my July 4th fic because America's birthday I don't even.
Anyway I sincerely apologize for disappearing for so long and then posting this I don't even asdfghjkl
Sorry. I'll just stop now.
Review please. Tell me if you don't consider this a fail. Please.