Chapter 1: Crouching Naruto Hidden Fist

One day in the small village of Lavender Town Naruto was up to his usual antics with his good friends Sasuke and Kakashi and Brian (that's me!). Naruto was busy stealing a bowl of ramen from the local restaurant when Sasuke gave him a rigt good wallop to his arse and told him not to steal what you are supposed to pay for, so Naruto, being his usual self did his usual thing, he found a loophole and stole a bowl of ramen from a small child who had finally worked enough hours in the local coal mines to buy food for the first time in ever. Smart thinking, Naruto! Sasuke was ok with this because technically he wasn't supposed to pay for it.

While Naruto was going ape s**t on that ramen, his arch rival snuck up behind him and tickled his scrotum with his super rare shadow jitsu! Naruto didn't notice because of how dank that ramen was. The tickling got too fast and too furious for most writers to even describe (but not me). Eventually, after his ramen was done, Naruto did feel a slight burning sensation where you shouldn't have a slight burning sensation. It was his scrotum! He jumped away from the fiendish hand of infinite tickles in alarm at the sudden realization that he was in fact. A. HOMO. SEXUAL.

He scanned the hills Pallet Town with a fine toothed lizard with his eyes only to see nothing. But he could feel something. He jumped again after realizing it was the hand of infinite tickles again. He was super gay now. He heard a snickering from behind a bush of opaqueness and was about to kamenhamenha all up in that bush's grill when suddenly the laughs of his arch rival quickly bounced from behind bush to bush. He couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from so he decided to charge his commonhamenha and blast every bush he could see. Unfortunately he razed the entire town in the crossfire of his lazer. But he did destroy every bush. Oh that Naruto! What a goofball!

After killing everyone in town, including his friends, he could finally see his arch rival….he couldn't believe it! It was really him! IT WAS HIS ARCH RIVAL! GOKU!

CHAPTER 2: Nine Tails! I Choose You!

Upon seeing his arch rival...HIS FREAKING ARCH RIVAL! Naruto was shocked. There was only one way to settle this once and for all. Naruto had to win to secure his position as hikage for all ever. So Naruto did what he had to do. It had to be done. there was no way around it. It all came down to this. There was no if's, and's, or but's about it. It was really going to happen. One chance. Two men. Two guns. One shot. That was all it would take. He had to do it now if he wanted to win. Now was his time to strike. It all came down to the last round and this was it. And now for the main event, what you've all been waiting for. Naruto had to challenge Goku to a trainer battle.

Naruto turned his weird sweatband/headband with a trippy leaf thing on it around like he always did before a big fight and got really pumped. He had to force the realization that he was gay after Goku's tickling from his mind if he wanted to win. Goku was ready. Naruto sort of was. He threw out his strongest jutsu first. It was his Nine Tails which he named Kurama affectionately! Now it was Goku's turn! Goku smiled a smile and threw out his son jitsu, Gohan! Naruto smiled with glee as he knew Kurama would mawl that child just for the lols. And Kurama did.

"What's the matter, Naruto!? Shadow hand of infinite tickling got your scro-tounge!? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!" Goku replied with a srene melancholy chirp that almost tore Naruto's panties to the floor.

"...maybe," Naruto barked confidently.

After Kurama had finished and grown tired of his new toy, the still live body of Gohan, he was returned to his jitsu-ball and Naruto gave him some animal crackers. He then turned to Goku who was now almost touching Naruto he is so close.

"Hey…" he said.

"What?" he quipped back.

"Yeah…." he replied.

"Ok…." he squealed in glee.

"Ok?" he said jubilantly.

"Its a metaphor you see. You put the thing that is killing you in your mouth, but you don't give it the power to kill you. What I'm trying to say is…..I want head," he eminemed (its like yelling somewhat melodically).

"Ok. Whatevs. Lol. :)" he tweeted.

Chapter 3: The Empire Comes First

Goku took Naruto to his tent which was behind the ramen shop Naruto had tried to steal from. He took him inside and started a fire with his burn bending and cooked Naruto some freshly caught hot cocoa. After they were done feasting Naruto had gained like fifiteen pounds. He was so fat he felt like he couldn't do anything, but Goku knew there was something he could do.

He looked at Naruto and Naruto looked back at him. They both knew what the other was thinking about because they were actually in love.

"Naruto, I need some help with something. I need you to find the dragon balls."

"Ok. How many are there?"

"Z" he said.

"Z?" he asked?

"As in...do you z my balls right now?"

But Naruto did not see them, but he could sense them deep within his gullet. He knew what he had to do. It was sex. Lots sex. And he did. He did that to every Taylor Swift song ever. Brian saw the whole thing and was really excited because she shipped them since day one.

FINE

Thanks for reading my first publication guys! I hope you enjoyed and that this story touched you as much as you did ;) Hugs and head - Brian 3