Well hi everybody!

Okay, so this is trash, I'm aware, but is the first trash I wrote in english and it was for

nanowrimo so hope you like it. Please let me know how was my english and and writing and so.

Enjoy anyway!

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Magnus is in pain and he's not talking to him.

And he's pretending everything is fine but Alec can see him and he knows something's wrong. And he insists for selfish reasons, because is the four night in a row that he wakes up in an empty bed and he got use to Magnus being the first thing he sees when he open his eyes and now Magnus isn't there anymore and he can't believe how much he hates it.

So, scare that his boyfriend reject him again, he stands in front of Magnus and says he is not leaving until knowing what's the problem.

And Magnus confess, tears falling like two endless rivers on the warlock's face and Alec's heart hurts when he sees Magnus like this, so vulnerable and hurt by the old memories. And then, Magnus calls himself a monster and that Alec Lightwood can't allow it.

So he looks his boyfriend right in those beautiful eyes and tells him how far from being a monster he is. Then he wraps his arms around the warlock and hugs him with everything he has. And they stay like that for ages, Alec on his knees and Magnus sitting in the couch, hugging tight because that's the only thing they can do right now.

*

When Magnus breaks up with him, he feels like a seraphim knife crossing his heart.

He apologise, he insists that there's another way. But it doesn't work. And now he feels like dying. Because Magnus is walking away from him and all he can do is watch him leave.

And he can't even do that because his eyes are wet and tears are just about to fall. He feels a small sobbing coming out but he isn't able to stop it because he is busy standing in the hallway watching the elevator's doors close and then it's going down and oh by the angel, Magnus just broke up with him.

Alec doesn't even try to control himself. He stays in the hallway for ages, tears falling, waiting for Magnus to come back. But he knows it's not gonna happen, so he cleans some of the tears with his hands and goes into the elevator. For a second or two, he thinks of going down, and to Magnus's apartment, beg him to come back to him. But his finger hit the button that will send him to his bedroom, so the idea dies in his head. He knows sooner or later, Izzy will look for him, and he needs to pretend his not as hurt as he is. His sister won't buy it, but Alec doesn't care.

Magnus broke up with him. And Alec's heart has left with the warlock.

*

Alec is slowly dying on the inside.

He has search the institute top to bottom and there is no sign of Magnus. He can feel his legs turning into stone. He can barely breath and he has never felt such pain in his entire life. And he suddenly realise how much he loves that warlock. How hard he has fall for him.

And has been only months since he met him but he loves Magnus and now Magnus is nowhere to be found and Alec doesn't want to know what that means and he's already thinking on suicide because Magnus might be dead and Alec hasn't say "I love you"

And he is so worry that he can't even cry but then, in the front of the institute, someone grabs his arm and makes him turn and all Alec can do is hug him with all he has, with his mind completely blank because Magnus is safe and sound and in his arms again, where he belongs.

And just in case, Alec says "I love you"

*

Alec wakes up without opening his eyes. He have never been so comfortable than in that moment, sleepy with the gold silk sheets covering him and Magnus next to him. He feels the winter sunlight on his face and the warlock is using his shoulder as a pillow, and there's something about the whole picture he isn't able to describe. Is happiness, he knows it, and is love.

Magnus is already awake, he can knows that by the way he breathes, (a bit faster than when he was asleep) so he opens his eyes and says "Good morning". Alec turns around just to watch him, both of them smiling. Magnus puts a hand in his neck and kiss him softly and Alec kiss him back with pleasure, wishing that he can stay like that forever. Maybe he is dead, Alec thinks, and this is heaven. But his phone rings to prove him that he's still alive and world won't stop spinning just because he wants to stay in bed.

Magnus takes the interruption better than him, and smiling, tells him to go save the world. So Alec kiss him one last time before getting up, trying to not look back at Magnus, knowing that he'll stay if he does.