*** I am Tired. Beyond tired. Completely and utterly exhausted. But I can't sleep. Hopeless insomniac. I would end up laying there in the dark being haunted by my disturbing imagination. So, I'll sit here. Being tired. And write.
Now that you know the reason for my crazy, you can brace yourself. This is probably going to be off the wall random funny shit. So enjoy!
Notes: Light Yagami does not know that he is Kira. L and Light are chained together. No yaio. No flames or lemons (whatever that means...) and no pervertedness, since I cannot type that stuff. I wish I could sometimes. but I try, and my hands catch fire. (AAAAAAAH). too bad.
Disclaimer: I don't own death note, nor do I own a water slide. Sigh.***
!
There are several types of people in this world. There are people like me, who sleep on a schedule from the early AM to the very late AM- losing almost all of the AM entirely. Then there are people with more structured sleep patterns, who get the suggested eight hours from approx ten to six. Because they're just weird like that. Light Yagami is such a person. Of course, some people have even a worse sleep pattern than mine. Such as one raven haired detective, who sleeps from about three to five in the morning and runs full speed for the rest of the time. Running on pure sugar, some messed up brain chemicals, and full out determination.
Light was convinced that L would never sleep normally. Meaning also that the poor teen would never get the proper sleep that a growing boy needs- well, atleast not while he was chained to the panda detective.
He was getting sick and tired(literally tired) of falling asleep at his computer, just to be dragged up to bed sometime in the middle of the night (of at all), and woken up again a few short hours later. It was madness!
Maybe it was purposeful sleep torture, meant to wear him down to the point that he had no choice but admit he was Kira. That sounded like a trick the crazy man might pull! Oh great, Light thought. Exhaustion was making him paranoid.
Paranoid or not, Light felt like a student again, bored out of him mind and trying to stay awake in class. He had to keep a mask, so that the task force wouldn't see how tired he was. He didn't want them thinking that because he was young he couldn't handle being on the investigation.
So that's how young Light Yagami found himself staring at the screen in front of him, expression completely blank, pretending to study it while nearly sleeping.
But, sleep catches up to everyone. Even raven haired, uber genius, panda eyed detectives like L. It happened every once in a while. He'd find himself completely exhausted one day and be forced to retire to bed, where he would sleep for a solid twelve hours. The next day, however; he'd be completely fine again. Wide awake and ready to be all genius again.
Watari always noticed. He'd been L's care taker the boy's whole life. He knew how careless L could be. He used to be the same way about eating. L is a super genius, but can be completely forgetful about some of the most basic things- like sleep. Or eating. Watari had to make sure that L didn't work himself to death.
That is how Light and L found themselves sent off to bed early, much like children, at eight o clock one day.
~backwards time lasps! wooooooosh~
L couldn't stop yawning. Neither could Light. Mostly out of basic human reaction from seeing L yawn a million times. Light subconsciously copied.
L was being quieter than usual. He wasn't talking percentages or statistics or cake. He was just studying the computer screen silently, chewing on the tip of his thumb.
He found himself continually nodding. He'd be reading, then suddenly his eyes would work against him and close. He'd force them back open, picking his head up. Kira would not stop and wait for them, so he could not just stop to nap.
He was planning on working a full night, as long as he could force himself. But he found himself to be completely exhausted by seven. At eight, when everyone else was heading home for the night- or to their apartments in task force head quarters, Watari came down.
"You need to get some sleep," Watari said, tapping L on the shoulder. He sounded authorative, like a father talking to their young child. L didn't really notice.
"I'll go to bed in a few hours," L said, not looking up from his computer. "There's work to be done."
"Work can wait til the morning," Watari reached over and turned off the computer screen. L frowned slightly. The forever lasting circles under L's eyes were even darker. Light didn't look much better. "You both look exhausted. It's time for bed."
"But I'm not tired," L lied. Next to him, Light yawned. L's subconscious betrayed him as he yawned as well.
"Mhm," Watari said in an all knowing tone. "Come on," he gently pulled L from his chair, and Light followed. Watari gave both boys a light push in the direction of the elevator. They stumbled off tiredly, without much more of protest.
They stumbled to the center of the room, neither bothering to brush their teeth or even change out of their clothes. It would take too much energy to unlock the chain so they could change, then relock it. So they both collapsed onto the large bed they shared, in their clothes- Light only bothering to slip his shoes off and unbutton the top of his shirt.
"Good night," L said, muffled from having a pillow pressed over his face.
"Good night, L," Light sighed, settling down and pulling the blankets over him. They both fell asleep instantly, not even realizing that the lights were still on or that they were still fully dressed.
~Forward time lasp- the next morning 7:45 am~
Light came to find himself laying on the floor being straddled by his strange detective friend. How did this happen?
~Time lasp- few minutes before that~
Light was having a strange dream- L could tell by his muttering.
"..no Ryuk, that's not a real apple. It's my mom's table decoration... don't eat that! she'll beat me with a toaster... why is there a lollipop, in Aizawa's hair? oh... hi, Ryuzaki..." Light's muttering was seeping into L's mind. He knew that he was waking up, but was still in that exhausted inbetween stage. Drifting to consciousness, he opened his heavy eyes.
"Shut up," he mumbled. Light was still muttering. L rolled his eyes. He attempted to lift his arms- so to whack Light with a pillow, but found them to heavy to move. So instead he kicked Light. It was sort of a shove, with his foot, and it sent Light rolling off the bed.
Sometimes L really regretted the stupid chain idea, such as the time when Light rolled off the bed, and the chain yanked, pulling L off as well.
Light woke up with a thud. His first thought was OW! His second was, what the hell just- AH!
As L rolled off the bed, he landed directly on top of Light. The two young men bonked heads together. Light moaned, holding his head. L placed a hand on his head as well as he forced himself to a sitting position.
That my friends, is how Light found himself laying on the floor, straddled by his strange detective friend.
"Ryuzaki!" Light wheezed under the pressure of having L sitting on his chest. "Get off!"
L rolled off and sat in a crouched position next to Light on the floor. They younger man pushed himself to a sitting position, still holding his head in one hand.
"There's nicer ways to wake a person up Ryuzaki. You don't have to head butt them and sit on them," Light said.
"And you realize what a person says in their sleep reveals a lot about them," L responded. "Who's Ryuk?"
"I think he's a friend from high school," Light said, having no idea who Ryuk was at all.
"And your mom beats you with a toaster?" L asked.
Light gave him his 'dafuq!' face. He sighed, shaking his head. "That's really weird, even for you. No,"
"You're the one who said it," L shrugged, managing to climb to a standing position. His eyes found the alarm clock, and he went from drowsy to awake in point o seconds.
"We're late," he stated simply, pulling Light to his feet.
"What?" Light asked drowsily.
"We have five minutes to be downstairs," L stated, walking across the room towards the bathroom. Light followed him lazily.
Looking in the mirror at themselves, one thing was obvious. "Ew," Light said. "We need to shower." They hadn't showered the previous morning, or that night because they were too tired. So now their hair was greasy and gross, and their skin was coated in that layer of something that tells a person they have to shower.
"No time," L mumbled, brushing his teeth.
"It's not really an option," Light examined a lock of his greasy, discolored hair.
L rolled his eyes. "Fine, but we'll have to hurry." L turned on the shower and unlocked the chaing that kept him locked to Light. He peeled his shirt over his head.
"You want to go first then?" Light asked.
"No," L responded. "Hurry up if you don't want to smell all day."
Light gave his friend a strange look, wondering how he'd ended up with this strange man for his closest friend, but pulled his shirt over his head anyways. He stripped himself down to his boxers, not wanting to go completely naked with L standing right there. He jumped though, when he felt the familiar feeling of a chain locking over his wrist.
"Uhh, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked. The man was naked, except for a towel wrapped around his waiste.
"Hurry up, Light. Strip!" L said, and Light felt his boxers be tugged down to his ankles. He yelped slightly from surprise. He soon though felt two strong hands push him backwards into the shower. L climbed in after him closing the shower curtain.
"Ryuzaki! What the hell!" Light yelled, fighting the water that was spraying him in the face. He blushed brightly.
"We don't have time to shower seperately, so this will have to do," L explained, handing Light a bottle of shampoo.
"This is creepy!" Light said, trying to get as far away from L- who was also completely naked, as he could. Being that they were in the shower, that was only about a foot.
"Don't think about it that way and you should be fine," L said.
"You're so weird, L," Light sighed, closing his eyes to try to ignore L. His ears were burning red from the awkwardness of it all.
"You've already said that twice today," L said thoughtfully, scrubbing his hair with shampoo. It looked like a big bubbly afro. (hehe).
"Because it's true," Light exclaimed, rincing his hair out.
"Loufa?" L offered.
"No thanks," Light rolled his eyes.
"Come on, you know you want it," L tempted, shaking it in front of his friends face.
"Cut it out, Ryuzaki, I said no!" Light said angrily. He pushed L's hand away from him, and backed up. But he slipped in the wet shower. Trying to regain his balance, he grabbed for the shower curtain, which was only torn down as he fell. The ever annoying chain, of course, pulled L down as well. Both men found themselves sprawling at the bottom of the shower, struggling with a shower curtain.
That of course, was the moment that the door opened, and Matsuda stepped in.
He looked like this O.o, then like this o.O, then like this O.O.
Both Light and L froze and looked up at him.
"Err, uh. Watari said for everyone to come in late today. I came up to tell you guys," Matsuda said awkwardly. Both boys in the shower continued to stare at Matsuda.
"Thank you, Matsuda," L said.
"Shouldn't you guys be using protection?" Matsuda asked, blushing. Light blushed an even darker shade of red- if that's even possible. L glared at him.
"Mastuda you idiot."
!
AND this is the shit that happens when I write exhausted. Random stuff like this. How was it? Lmao, good, bad, vomit, run in traffic, sqeal happily? let me know. R/R 3 u guys!
Oh, and three cheers for Matsuda, always coming in at the wrong time!
It took a lot of explaining for Matsuda to understand this one... *face palm.*
I no own death note. Nor a chocolate bar. (Mello moment.) I want a chocolate bar.