I do not own any SSB characters, Zelda characters, the Eukanuba dog show, Pet Co., or FLUFFY! (Who is owned by Zeni S. Master)
Link's Amazing Dawg Training
One lovely day the Faron Woods…..
Midna was relaxing in front of the Faron Spring, as Link was being a wolf, and peeing on a freshly killed Deku Baba.
"Link! What are you doing?" complained Midna as she was yawning.
Link instantly lowered his leg, noticing that he was caught in the act.
"You're worthless!" She groaned, Link responded with a wine, "I know a perfect solution!" Midna spoke again.
Link howled with sadness as he thought something might happen to his manhood.
"Link stop whining, I don't have the rupees for that. I was thinking of training you as my little pet, teehee!" Midna smiled her 'this is gonna going to be good' smile.
Link looked up at the sky, trying to say that he was already smart. Then Midna produced a cookie out of her pocket and said, " Look Link, THIS IS COOOOOOOOOOKIE!"
Link sprung up on his paws, and began to wag his tail, He could never resist cookies.
"SIT!" Midna demanded.
Link completely oblivious to her commands only continued to jump at her hand for the cookie. Midna then gave him a hard look and whacked him in the head. She then demanded once more, "Sit!"
Link eventually got the point through his solid head and sat at her feet.
"Good boy," Midna praised. She then leaned down patted his head and gave the treat to an incredibly proud and excited Link, who just learned to sit.
"Now I just need to teach you shake, lie down, roll over, and speak!" Midna said with glee.
Link looked at her and whined again, he objected to the idea of being trained like some idiotic hound who did not know how to do anything. So instead Link ran to Death Mountain in hopes of keeping this crazed woman away from him.
Before Link knew it, he was stopped by Midna, who was waiting there for him.
"BAD WOLF!" scolded Midna.
Link immediately looked down at his paws, for sure that he would not be receiving cookies anytime soon.
"Why can't I make you actually useful for once?" complained Midna.
"Arf!" barked Link, hoping that she knew he did not want her training.
"I know! I'll enter you into a dog show!" shouted Midna.
Link started to howl, because this meant that he had to humiliate himself in the public eye, dressing up like some girly dog.
"I know that you'll love it. However, before I get you dressed up, I will need to give you a bath. You smell way too bad to enter into a dog show." said Midna.
Minutes later, they were back in the Faron springs and Link was struggling to not get his fur cleaned.
"Hold still, you mangy mutt!" shouted Midna as she chased Link with a soapy sponge. She was starting to loose her temper as Link kept on wiggling out of her grasp.
"If you just cooperate this would be a whole heck of a lot easier for the both of us!" Midna said again.
Link responded back with a bark, translating into the word 'never'.
"Why you little." mumbled Midna officially loosing her temper.
"Midna! Why did you put soap in my spring water, you killed all of the little fishies." bellowed Faron.
"Oh, hi Faron. I'm just trying to give Link a bath. Then after that, dress him up like a girly dog, and enter him into a dog show." explained Midna, while still trying to pin down Link.
"Sounds fine to me. Though, if I were you I'd try to bring Link's IQ up several points, before I would enter him into one of those dog shows. The dogs there are pretty smart." Faron suggested.
"Would gummies be effective on him?" said Midna.
"Uh, what are gummies exactly?" said Faron.
"Gummies are IQ raising food that Pokemon eat, and it's been proven to be effective on them." Midna explained.
"Let's try. Then we can see what effect that they have on wolfs." said Faron.
Link barked in frustration, being a test dummy was not on his list of things to be. Unfortunately, he got a mouth full of fruit snacks. Link immediately swallowed all of the gummies and to his surprise, he actually liked it.
"Link, what is two plus two?" said Midna.
Link simply barked once, symbolizing the fact that he still thought that it was Zelda.
"We wasted all of those rupees just to see that he had no brain improvements?" Faron said first.
"At least I still get to dress him up." stated Midna.
"Well I'll see you later." said Faron.
"Bye!" said Midna.
Link instantly looked confused. How was Midna going to dress him up when she had no clothing items that would fit him.
"I know what you're thinking and the answer is TO THE CASTLE TOWN!" said Midna.
When they got to castle town, they went straight to the Pet Co. where they can find all of their dog training needs.
"Hi! How may I help you today?" asked gay employee/ former fashion designer for pooches.
"Yah, I need to get the right outfit, food, leash, and food for my Hylian Hound here." said Midna.
"That's just fine. Here we have the latest fashions for dogs. This shirt here is made of vintage fabrics, and goes perfectly with an absolutely adorable skirt that is just the cutest of pinks." said the employee.
Link looked up at Midna with a scared look. He did not want to wear pink skirts, made out of vintage fabrics, picked out by gay employees, who were former fashion designers for pooches.
"Link you will wear the out fits picked out for you, and no complaining." Midna said to Link in a harsh tone.
"And here we have some nice jammies, specially made for dogs, and are made out of pure silk." ranted on the employee.
"Um I'm entering my male dog into a dog show. So I wanted to get something adorable." stated Midna.
"Oh, I have the perfect thing for you. It's the limited time Hero of Time costume. It comes in several different colors, designed specially for the dog. And guess what? There is no cotton in it, it is once again pure silk, so it does not shrink when washed, and it makes a great towel to clean up any mess the dog makes." advertised the employee.
"Great, I'll take every color. I forgot to tell you that he is an extra large, just incase you needed a size." Midna said with enthusiasm.
"Oh, honey no need for that. I can already tell the size just by looking at him." responded the employee.
"After that can you show me my options on leashes?" asked Midna.
"Sure honey." said the employee.
Moments later, Link and Midna were away from Pet Co. and off the Eukanuba dog show.
"That was the strangest employee ever." Midna spoke first.
Link simply responded with a bark meaning that he under stood.
Once they were at the show, Midna finished preparing Link for the show, and tried to freshen his breath with a greenie. (greenies are meant to freshen a dog's breath if you did not know that.)
"Now it is time to announce to contestants for this year's Eukanuba dog show!" announced one of the judges, who was named Bob. (I know so original right?)
"First up is Tabuu, with his Golden Retriever, Fluffy!" announced a second Judge named Sew.(it's pronounced Sue, just spelled differently.)
Tabu came running out with Fluffy trotting beside him.
"Second is Midna, with her… with her… excuse me, what is the name of the breed of dog that she has?" said Sew.
"I think that it is pronounced Hylian Wolf." inputted the third judge, named Mary Sue.( after what people have been calling my OC.)
Several hours later, the Judges finally came to a conclusion on what Link's breed should be called.
"Here is Midna, with her Hylian Warf, Link!" Sew finally announced.
Several moments later all of the contestants were called.
"Now on to the talent contests." announced Mary Sue.
"First is Fluffy. Tabuu, what will Fluffy perform for us today?" asked Sew with fake enthusiasm.
"Fluffy is going to annihilate a bunny!" Tabuu said with real enthusiasm.
"Good for Fluffy." said Bob.
Within minutes, Fluffy turned into a hell hound and had an epic battle with a giant, mutant bunny. This was soon destroyed, as nothing can stand the power of a hell hound.
Link, like all the other dogs, hid behind his master the entire time the epic battle went on.
"That was way out of standards." complained Mary Sue.
"That…was…awesome!" said Bob.
"Next is Link. Midna, what is Link going to do for us today?" asked Sew.
"He is going to perform Zelda's Lullaby." said Midna while glaring at Link.
Link waited a few seconds, sat, and began to howl the best he could. Unfortunately the gummies caused brain damage in Link's head, so the song ended up being like nails on a chalkboard. Anything that was made of glass, instantly cracked, and shattered to bits.
"MAKE THAT HOWLING STOP!" screamed Bob.
Midna, knowing Link could never resist cookies, materialized one and all was well.
"Thank you Midna." said Bob.
"Next is Spot. Marth, what will Spot do today?" Mary Sue asked.
"Spot is going to fart Beethoven's ninth symphony!" Marth said, full of pride.
Several seconds later Spot was standing in the middle of the arena, farting like there was no tomorrow.
"What is that smell?" asked Bob.
"I forgot to mention that I feed him a special Hylian bean recipe, that makes his farts have a high methane level effect on his farts." Marth said with joy.
"I hope no one here is a pyromaniac, because we have a high methane gas leak somewhere in the building." announced Bob.
Jinxed, Roy, who was randomly there, lit a match for his amusement. Thus resulting in a big explosion, leaving only two survivors, Link and Midna. Both of them were just standing there wide eyed.
"What just happened?" asked Midna.
"Arf, arf!" barked Link, which translated into 'I don't know'.
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That's the end to my random story. This is what happens when I get hiked up on chocolate, and can't stop thinking. I know this is random and Midna and maybe Link are OOC, but it is supposed to be some random story just for amusement. Hope that you enjoyed, so please review!