Distance
Disclaimer: I don't own the POI characters or the song from which the story got its name.
XXX
They have always kept their distance.
The Machine has sent the two of them on a mission, and even with a lot of complaining on Shaw's part, they manage to find a cheap motel room to share. They slept on separate beds – Shaw's request, no matter how many times Root promised she could behave. Dawn is just beginning to lighten the room, but the hacker is already awake.
Root's never been good at sleeping late, and it gives her time to clear her head before anyone can interrupt her. On the other bed, Shaw is still sleeping, her small body curled up in a blanket cocoon. Root finds herself watching the smaller woman. Shaw is so much more peaceful when she's asleep; the almost permanent frown on her face has melted away. A slight smile finds its way onto Root's lips as she watches the other woman sleep.
She doesn't know how long it's been – it was one of those things that crept up on you before you realized it – but Root's been aware of it for a while now. She's not sure how to classify it (and that's one thing she would never ask the Machine) but it's stronger than anything she's felt for someone before. It makes itself known whenever she's with Shaw, and more recently, Root thinks Shaw feels something too, no matter how much she denies it.
In moments like these, when they're alone and not so distant, Root is tempted to speak her mind (or her heart). She wants to spill her feelings, but she can only imagine Shaw's reaction. Neither of them are ready for anything like that. So Root waits, and resigns to watching Shaw sleep.
When the sun fully rises, so does Shaw, and with it her grumpiness. Root is still watching her with that smile, and she returns it with a frown. "Don't watch me sleep, Root. That's creepy."
"Okay, Sameen," Root replies, her casual flirtation making itself known. Shaw rolls her eyes and stands up, slowly making her way into the adjoining bathroom. She shuts the door firmly, and after a minute, Root hears the water begin to run.
"I love you, Sameen," Root whispers softly. She knows Shaw can't hear her, but perhaps that's best. She just wonders how long they can go on pretending.
XXX
They have always kept their distance.
The number they're tracking has led them to Central Park, and while Shaw hates that they're both out in the open, she knows she has no choice. Root is walking around, looking for a better vantage point, while Shaw keeps eyes on their number. After ten minutes of watching the guy play chess against an older man, Shaw's beginning to get bored, when Root appears at her side.
Shaw is used to the hacker sneaking up on her like this, but Root's close physical proximity is almost overwhelming. She doesn't move, however, even though her heart rate has sped up considerably. Focusing on their number has become a bit more challenging, and Shaw hates herself for it. Out of the corner of her eye, she catches a brief glimpse of Root, who's trying hard not to pay her any attention.
Lowering her eyes, Shaw escapes into her thoughts. She hates how Root can do this to her – speed up her heart rate and mess with her head just by being there. By existing. Whenever she broods on it for too long, she finds herself repressing it. Feelings are messy and difficult, and so is Shaw. Anger is easy. But beneath it all, she knows there's something there that hadn't been there before Root. The hacker's over-the-top flirting and innuendo help mask some of her advances, but Shaw's sure she's not the only one with feelings issues.
She'd come close to blurting it out a few times, but had held back each time. Shaw was complicated and a mess of anger and rude comments; none of which was good for Root. Sure, she had her issues too, but she deserved more than Shaw could offer. Stealing another glance at the hacker, Shaw wonders if Root even understands.
"I can feel you watching me, Sameen," Root practically purrs. Shaw rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to retort when their number stands up and makes his way across the park. Grinning stupidly, Root trails lazily after him, leaving Shaw behind to watch her walk away.
"I think I love you, Root," Shaw whispers. She know Root can't hear her, but perhaps that's best. She just wonders how long they can go on pretending.
XXX
They have always kept their distance.
Their business with the current number is finished by sundown. The two of them make their way back to the subway, only to find it empty. The Machine tells Root that Reese has a number, and Finch is out with Bear. Relaying this information to Shaw, they settle in – Root at her computer and Shaw with her guns. The silence stretches on between them, settling somewhere between tolerable and stifling. Every few minutes, one of them looks up, but drops her eyes quickly.
Root types away on her computer, not even sure what the purpose of the code on her screen is, but the Machine says it's useful. The hacker's thoughts are full of Shaw. This is the first time in a while they've been alone together without tracking a number, and Root wants to spill. Something inside her tells her to wait – if Shaw's not ready, she doesn't want to blow it.
Across the subway, Shaw is having her own internal debate. She can tell Root isn't focused on whatever geek stuff she's working on, and honestly, Shaw's not concentrating either. The silence has become almost unbearable, and she is almost wishing for Root's flirtatious chatter; something that will make this all easier to handle.
Eventually, the stress wins out, and Shaw makes her way to the subway car. Distancing herself from Root is her only sane way of dealing with whatever's going on in her head and her heart. She's only made it about halfway when Root grabs her wrist. Shaw removes her wrist from the hacker's grasp and tries to ignore the instincts telling her to run away. She tries to hold on to the anger, because anger is easy, but she's feeling too much of everything else.
"Sameen." Root's voice is gentle, but she's serious. Shaw raises her eyes and tells herself to stay put while the hacker remains silent, struggling for more to say.
"When are we gonna stop pretending?" Shaw shocks herself by speaking and, it seems, Root as well. The anger has returned. "What's going on, Root? We've been pushing each other away and yet we're still here following Her orders. Why…" She grasps for words. "Why is this so damn complicated?"
Root smiles. "It's called feelings, Sameen. Glad to see you've discovered them." Her words are met with a glare, and Root drops the teasing. "We don't have to pretend, Sameen. You know that."
"Yeah, I know," Shaw snaps, but she's lost her anger again. Sighing in defeat, she meets Root's eyes. "If you tell anyone what happens after this, I will hurt you."
"Even if I tell Her?" Root asks sweetly, and Shaw rolls her eyes.
"I hate you." And before Root can retort, Shaw pulls her face down and their lips meet. The kiss lingers for a few seconds before she pulls back, still in Root's personal space.
The hacker smiles and says, "Wow, you must really not hate me that much, Sameen."
"Shut up, Root," Shaw mumbles, before capturing her lips again.
XXX
They have always kept their distance.
But as they leave the subway that night, Root's hand finds Shaw's, and neither one of them minds the closeness.