A/N: I wrote this primarily for myself, as kind of a reference to help me write my Amazing Race Star Wars fanfic. I hope it counts as a story to the administrators, but if it doesn't, maybe I'll put it in my profile. Warning! There are some spoilers as to the challenges (Detours, Roadblocks, Fast Forwards, Speed Bumps) and what they're about, but except for three of the Speed Bumps, I don't give anything away about winners or losers in this story, or who wins what at the end of each Leg, or anything else like that.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels or The Amazing Race. They are owned by Disney and the CBS station, respectively.
The Amazing Race Star Wars Cartoons Edition is the first intergalactic installment of the hit reality show The Amazing Race. It featured twelve teams of two competitors, nine from The Clone Wars, and three from Rebels, in a race around the galaxy.
This exciting race's course traveled among the Outer Rim, the Mid Rim, the Inner Rim, and the Core Worlds, and through twelve planets, among which were Dagobah, Hoth, Saleucami, Abafar, Kashyyyk, and Utapau. The race's teams and competitors were selected, as stated above, from the Clone Wars period as well as the time of the Rebels. From The Clone Wars, the teams were Ahsoka Tano and Lux Bonteri, Freedom Fighters; Asajj Ventress and Barriss Offee, Darksiders; Satine Kryze and Bo-Katan Kryze, Mando Sisters; Echo and Fives, ARC Troopers; Sugi and Embo, Good Bounty Hunters; Cad Bane and Robonino, Bad Bounty Hunters; Lagos and Soniee, Mando Cadets; Katooni and Petro, Younglings, and QT-KT and WAC-47, (Qutee and Wack), Droid Team. From the Rebels, the teams were Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla, Rebel Leaders; Ezra Bridger and Sabine Wren, Young Rebels; and Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios and C1-10P (Chopper), Dysfunctional Rebels. The host of this race was Dexter Jettster, owner of Dex's Diner in Coco Town on Coruscant.
Episode titles were often, but not always, taken from quotes made by the racers.
1. "A Bog and a Dark Cave"
2. "Don't Hunt Downwind"
3. "Roast Nuna"
4. "Politics are Such a Monster!"
5. "The Sands Test You Hard"
6. "Most Vile of All Gangsters"
7. "What a Filthy Void!"
8. "Life is Sacred, Yes?"
9. "Happy Life Day!"
10. "Beware the Shadowlands"
11. "Live for the Manda"
12. "Moire, Did Ya Say?"
13. "We All Need an Education"
14. "Let's Learn Even More"
The prize for each leg was awarded to the first place team for that leg. Trips were sponsored by Imperial Travelocity.
Leg 1 – A trip to Mon Calamari
Leg 2 – 2,500 credits each
Leg 3 – Pair of Nimbus-class V-Wing starfighters
Leg 4 – A trip to Rodia
Leg 5 – 5,000 credits each
Leg 6 – A trip to Glee Anselm
Leg 7 – A trip to Christophsis
Leg 8 – 7,500 credits each
Leg 9 – Two free lunches at Dex's Diner
Leg 10 – A trip to the Rugosa Moon
Leg 11 – 10,000 credits each
Leg 12 – Pair of top-condition landspeeders
Leg 13 – A trip to Mygeeto
Final Leg – 1 million credits, and a meal on the house
Leg 1 – Coruscant to Dagobah
In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Physical Jungle or Spiritual Cave. In Physical Jungle, the teams had to race around a section of the jungle by Yoda's house, climbing and swinging vines, flipping and somersaulting, and running as fast as possible, on a five-minute time limit. If they failed to make a climb, swing, or somersault properly, or if they failed to finish in less than five minutes, they had to start again. Once they succeeded in completing the course under five minutes to Yoda's satisfaction, they received their next clue. This was daunting for those who were involved in it, but it wasn't much compared to the alternate challenge. In Spiritual Cave, teams had to enter the dark side cave a ways away from Yoda's home and face an inner truth about him/herself. They usually received a disturbing or horrific vision in the cave. Once they had come to terms with what they had seen, and conquered their fears and despair regarding their visions, they could leave the cave and receive their next clue.
Additional tasks:
At the start of the race, teams had to run from a painted starting line off a ledge and into Oa Lake in Coruscant Park below. Only the Droid Team was allowed to slow their fall and completely avoid the water.
The teams had to fly to Dagobah in two separate flights, six teams per flight.
On arrival in Dagobah, one member of each team had to carry a sack of heavy rootleaf to Yoda's home. Once there, they had to help Master Yoda make rootleaf stew, and then eat some with him before beginning the Detour challenges.
After running a short ways through the jungle after the Detour, teams had to drive an airspeeder over the treetops to their next destination, a clearing a short distance from the Dragonsnakes' Lair.
Leg 2 – Dagobah to Hoth
The Leg's first Roadblock required one team member to ride a tauntaun around a course that had been set up specially for the race, three times, without falling off once. If the temperamental beast threw the rider, or the rider clumsily fell off, he/she had to start the course again. Once the course was completed three times without falling off, teams would receive their next clue. The second Roadblock required the other team member to take an antique hunting rifle and shoot two wampas dead. Only the Droid Team and the Dysfunctional Rebels were allowed to use other weapons at their disposal for the hunt. Once both wampas were hunted and killed, they had to be dragged one mile by sled to a farm to the east, where the farmers would reward them with their next clue.
Additional tasks:
Three flights took the teams to Hoth from Dagobah. The first flight had to evade the infamous space slug that lived in the giant asteroid's largest crater. One team on the flight had to help the droid pilots outmaneuver the slug, and the other asteroids, and then guide the ship down to the spaceport.
Each team had to take a taxi to the tauntaun colony, as well as to the wampa territory, though few cabbies were willing to get close to the wampas, but they had to ride their bloody sleds they used to port the wampas to the farmer in order to get to the smuggler's base that was the Pit Stop.
Leg 3 – Hoth to Saleucami
In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Herd Toasts and Nuna Roasts. In Herd Toasts, teams had to prod a herd of eopies through a short maze into a farming pen, and then they had to brand each eopie with the branding tool of the farming family they were working for. Once the eopies were in the pen, and all of them were branded, they would receive their next clue. In Nuna Roasts, teams would have to catch a choice nuna bird and cook it according to the farmer's secret recipe. Once it was cooked to the farmer's satisfaction, without being burned, they would receive their next clue. In this Leg's Roadblock, one team member had to deliver a nuna roast and a glass of fine wine through the streets of Saleucami's capital city, until they reached the office of the mayor of the city. After it was gotten there without incident, the teams would receive their next clue.
Additional tasks:
There were two flights to Saleucami, each one fitting five teams onboard. The second one left a half hour after the first.
The teams had to drive marked speeders to the Detour, and they had to do it under a minimum mileage count to save time, or else they had to answer a question about the history of Saleucami before moving on to the Detour.
The teams also had to get to the city by BARC speeder, and they had to take their newly cooked nuna roast with them, if they did the Nuna Roasts challenge. If they did Herd Toasts, they would be provided with a well-prepared nuna in town. The wine was also provided in town.
At the end of the Leg, teams had to run to the center of the Saleucami Cemetery, the graveyard of the devastating Siege of Saleucami, which was the Pit Stop.
Leg 4 – Saleucami to Utapau
At the beginning of this Leg, all teams were shuttled to the porous world of Utapau. There was an unaired Detour at the underground storehouse where Emperor Palpatine kept some of his private treasures, as Hera was shown holding a Detour clue outside the bowels of Utapau in promotional material. The objectives of both sides of the Detour are unknown. In the Leg's first Roadblock, teams had to make their way to Pau City, where one team member had to sit through an administrator's meeting led by Tion Medon, before taking a quiz that tested their knowledge of Utapau's politics. If they passed the quiz with 75% or more of the answers correct, they would receive their next clue. In the Leg's second Roadblock, teams had to make their way down Pau City to one of the massive sinkholes that sat adjacent to the city, where one team member had to dive underwater and film a rare picture of a nos monster family that once troubled Obi-Wan Kenobi during Order 66. Two Utai workmen supervised the Roadblock, to make sure no one was hurt or killed, including the nos monsters. Once the film was complete and the Utai were pleased with the results, teams would receive their next clue.
Additional tasks:
At this Leg's Speed Bump, Qutee and Wack had to help a crew of Utai fix and refuel a small spaceship that was in need of repairs before moving on to the Roadblocks.
Upon arrival on Utapau, each team had to fly above the surface of an area with ten sinkhole cities, and make an educated guess as to which of them is Pau City.
After both Roadblocks, the teams had to take a two-seater Porax-38-class Utapau starfighter and fly around the surface of the whole planet once, before touching down on the landing platform where General Grievous died. That was the Pit Stop. The platform had been increased in size, so it could accommodate all the fighters.
Leg 5 – Utapau to Tatooine
In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Moisture Farm or Jedi Barn. In Moisture Farm, teams were introduced to the Lars family, Owen and Beru, and their young nephew, Luke, and they had to learn how to make 5 quarts of water from the Lars' moisture vaporators. When all 5 quarts had been removed from the atmosphere and turned over to the Lars family, Luke would give them their next clue. In Jedi Barn, teams had to help Old Ben Kenobi count the number of dried mujas in a sack to receive their next clue. In this Leg's Roadblock, one team member had to make his/her way to Mos Eisley and find a sign with 7 Jedi crests and their owners from the Old Jedi Order. They had to memorize what the crests looked like and who each crest had belonged to, and then they had to go back to Ben's hut and tell him what they had learned. They could only go back to Mos Eisley once to refresh their memory.
Additional task:
At the Mos Eisley Cantina, teams had to ask directions to the Jedi crest sign from Wuher the bartender, who would answer them in a very gruff way, due to his distrust of the Jedi.
The Pit Stop was Docking Bay 94, which in later years would become famous as the docking bay for Han Solo's Millennium Falcon.
Leg 6 – Tatooine
In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Dance or Drink. For both of these options, they had to travel to Jabba the Hutt's Palace out on the outer dunes of Tatooine. In Dance, teams had to put on a silly-looking outfit (usually a skimpy one in the case of the ladies), and dance before Jabba the Hutt multiple times, until the vile gangster was satisfied with their performance. Then he would give them their next clue, and they could get dressed again. In Drink, teams took a ride on Jabba's sail barge, and had to drink three foul-tasting drinks only the likes of Jabba's entourage would drink (in the droids' cases, they had to serve the drinks and endure the abuse of Jabba's patrons). Then they would receive their next clue. In this Leg's Roadblock, one team member was supposed to best the rancor below Jabba's palace at a match of wits to receive their next clue. The rancor keeper was under orders to keep the rancor from eating the team members.
Additional tasks:
At the Pit of Carkoon, one team member of each team doing Drink had to feed a womp rat to the sarlacc in order to avoid getting thrown off the barge and into the sarlacc him/herself.
In Jabba's Palace, one team member of each team doing Dance had to eat two gorgs provided to them by Jabba himself, straight out of his water tank by his throne.
At the end of the Leg, teams had to ride in one of Jabba's many guard skiffs to a colony full of worrts to reach the Pit Stop.
Leg 7 – Tatooine to Abafar
In the race's second Speed Bump, Cad Bane and Robonino had to play in the Game Go casino until they had won 100 credits in a fair game of sabacc. Then they could move on. In this Leg's first Roadblock, one team member had to thoroughly clean up the filthy diner, Power Sliders, to the satisfaction of the unscrupulous owner, Mr. Borkus. Immediately afterward would follow the second Roadblock, in which the other team member had to completely eat two of Power Sliders' "delectable" dishes: Nuna gumbo, Eopie stew, Ewok jerky, and Fambaa Delight. Once both of these tasks were completed, Borkus would give them their next clue.
Additional tasks:
In Pons Ora, teams had to search among 100 hectares of the center of the city to find Ponda Baba and collect a 20 kilograms pouch of snuff from his tobacco cellar, then deliver it to Orna Rep, another Abafar settlement, about 50 kilometers away. If they delivered it undamaged, they would receive their next clue.
Upon arrival in Pons Ora, the teams had to go to Game Go, the city's casino, where a sabacc dealer would hand them the clue that would lead them to Power Sliders.
To get to Orna Rep, teams had to ride on the backs of large, flightless birds that roamed the Void, called Void Striders.
In Orna Rep, the last clue of the Leg would be given them by a Rattataki on the outskirts of town, and it led them to the town's local water tower, the Pit Stop of this Leg.
Leg 8 – Abafar to Endor
All teams were transported to the outskirts of Bright Tree Ewok Village for the start of this Leg. In the only Fast Forward of the race, one team had to strip nude and model for an Ewok artist, who would put their finished painting among the pantheon of histories of the Ewoks and their encounters with mysterious otherworldly beings that seemed like gods to them. Once they had posed long enough for the Ewok to get a good picture, he would hand them their Fast Forward reward. In this Leg's Detour, after arriving by one of two flights on the forest moon of Endor, teams had to choose between Tree Hugging and Boar-wolf Spotting. In Tree Hugging, teams were required to help a group of Ewoks plant a new tree to symbolize life that the species held so dear, and to hug a fully-grown one for three minutes. After showing proper respect to the life forms the Ewoks held most dear, they would receive their next clue. In Boar-wolf Spotting, Ewok hunters would teach teams how to navigate through the forest and locate the ravenous boar-wolves that are the bane of Ewoks on Endor. Once teams had spotted one, they had to help the Ewoks bring it down, and then they would receive their next clue.
Additional task:
To get to the Pit Stop, the Desert of Salma, more specifically, outside the former lair of the giant Gorax, teams had to ride slow but easygoing Ewok ponies. They also had to watch out for condor dragons, and could only defend themselves with Ewok weapons and, in emergencies, the Force.
Leg 9 – Endor to Kashyyyk
During the Pit Stop, all teams were shuttled to Kashyyyk, the home world of the Wookiees. In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Life Day or Death Pay. In Life Day, teams were required to don red Life Day robes, sing songs with the Wookiees about reverence for life in all its forms, and give praise to the Force for its unbreakable connection to life. They also had to throw rice over a small wroshyr tree and decorate it for the occasion. After all this, they would receive their next clue. In Death Pay, Wookiee hunters took teams out to the edges of the jungle and gave them guidance on how to kill game animals of Kashyyyk and bring them to a Wookiee home to eat. The teams would join in the meal for twenty minutes, and say grace at the table. Then they would receive their next clue.
Additional tasks:
Upon arrival on Kashyyyk, the king of the Wookiees gave each team a blessing alongside his high priest, along with their next clue.
In Kachirho, teams had to stack a can-cell cart with 75 thin, wooden boxes and deliver them to the other end of the city to receive their next clue, which led them to the Pit Stop, the home of Chieftan Tarfful. If teams broke more than 15 boxes along the way, they would receive a twenty-minute penalty.
Leg 10 – Kashyyyk
In this Leg's first Roadblock, one team member had to venture into the Shadowlands (the deep forests of Kashyyyk) with one Wookiee guide to track down some dangerous giant snakes that have been troubling the Wookiee sentries lately. After two snakes had been killed, they would receive their next clue. In this Leg's second Roadblock, the other team member had to go into the Shadowlands with another Wookiee guide to track down and apprehend teams of Wookiee slavers wandering in the forest, looking for Wookiees to enslave. Once the teams were all caught, they would receive their next clue.
Additional tasks:
After the first Roadblock, teams were told to find some Wookiee totem poles outside Kachirho city. They stood near the part of the forest where they had to find the clue to the location of the second Roadblock. Teams would also get another Wookiee blessing there.
Teams were required to learn how to use Wookiee bowcasters and other weapons normally used by Wookiees, and not off-worlders.
Ornithopters were used as a quick way to get around Kachirho and the outside of the Shadowlands.
The Pit Stop was located at a clearing deep into the Shadowlands, where Master Yoda once escaped Kashyyyk during the onset of the Jedi Purge. Teams had to ride a Wookiee catamaran to get there, which they rented from a Wookiee dock.
Leg 11 – Kashyyyk to Mandalore
In the race's third Speed Bump, Ezra and Sabine each had to write a short essay about the "True Mandalorians" and their beskar'gam (armor). After writing it to a judge's satisfaction, they were allowed to move on. In this Leg's Roadblock, one team member had to climb up a tall, smooth building, using a rappel line, to get their next clue. In this Leg's Detour, teams chose between Arm or Armor. In Arm, teams had to learn the ins and outs of a variety of Mando weapons, the do's and do not's, and then they had to win a laser tag battle with mockups of those weapons against experienced Mando warriors. After they won once, they would receive their next clue. In Armor, teams had to put on Mandalorian armor properly and test it out on training weapons wielded by Mando warriors. If they could stand up to five surprise ambushes without taking too strong a hit from the enemies' weapons, they would get their next clue.
Additional task:
At the Royal Academy of Government, teams had to sign up for a class about the government of Mandalore and its anti-corruption efforts in order to get their clue to the Pit Stop. The Pit Stop was the repaired memorial shrine in Sundari.
Leg 12 – Mandalore to Naboo
After being taken from Mandalore to Naboo, the teams were faced with this Leg's Roadblock. One member had to drive a Gungan bongo sub into the abyss that is Naboo's all-encompassing sea, with the other member sitting in the passenger's seat, and a Gungan local riding along to warn them of danger. Upon reaching Otoh Gunga, the Gungan's capital city, they would receive their next clue. In this Leg's Detour, teams had to choose between Cook Sa and Pee You Sa. In Cook Sa, teams had to help Jar Jar Binks make a delicious fishmeal for his fellow Gungans. While he made the food himself, the teams had to make sure he did everything right, didn't miss an ingredient, didn't make a mess, and finished the dish intact. Once he succeeded in making the dish properly, he would thank the team and give them their next clue. In Pee You Sa, teams were required to oil themselves up with kitchen grease and challenge a Gungan wrestler to wrestle him into a pile of doo doo, while he could do the same to the team. Once both members of the wrestling team had succeeded, they would receive their next clue.
Additional task:
The Pit Stop was the heart of Otoh Gunga, where bosses such as Boss Nass would greet them with Dexter Jettster.
Leg 13 – Naboo
The remaining teams were taken by a few bongos to the capital city of Naboo, Theed. In this Leg's Roadblock, the teams were taken to the royal palace, and the queen of Naboo, Kylantha, would present them with a tusk-cat, which one team member would use to herd shaaks into a pen in the back of the house, so the royals could eat some succulent meat. Once all the simple-minded shaaks were in the pen, they moved on to the Leg's Detour. Teams had to choose between Cognizance and Flatulence. In Cognizance, teams had to study the discipline and accumulation of knowledge of the monks of the Brotherhood of Cognizance, and explain before the monks what they understood about the order. After that, they would get their next clue. In Flatulence, teams would learn from a university classroom about the long history of the Naboo's prejudice against the Gungans, and they would suggest at least one way that the prejudice could be quelled for good. Then they would get their next clue.
Additional tasks:
The teams had to ride gualamas to get to the palace from the bongos, and then again to get to the monks' sanctuary and/or the university.
Maxiron Agolerga, the clergyman who secretly married Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala, was waiting at the Pit Stop, the very location where the marriage took place.
Leg 14 – Naboo to Alderaan back to Coruscant
In the final Leg of the race, the remaining teams were taken by Star Tours to Alderaan, where they went by airspeeder taxis to meet Bail Organa, his daughter, Leia Organa, and the droids, C-3PO and R2-D2, at the royal palace of Aldera. In the final Detour of this race, teams had to choose between Teach or Learn. In Teach, teams had to choose one of the grade school students and teach them about 5 good reasons why the Empire is a force for evil in the galaxy, and why it should be opposed at all costs. Threepio served as a translator for students who didn't speak Basic, and Artoo stood by to oversee the lesson with him. Once their student correctly memorized and recited the reasons why the Empire must be stopped, he/she would give them their next clue. In Learn, teams would have to choose one of the grade school students who would teach them 5 good reasons why Alderaan is the most beloved, peaceful, and pure planet and star system in the galaxy. Leia oversaw the lesson to make sure it went fine. If teams memorized and recited all 5 lessons correctly, they would receive their next clue.
After this, the teams were shuttled back home to the Coruscant star system, where the race began, and their final clue is provided by Threepio and Artoo, who rode along in the Star Tours shuttle this time. In the final Roadblock of the race, one team member had to board a gunship left over from the days of the Old Republic and dive out of it with a glider. They would circle around the Jedi Temple, the Senate Rotunda, and Coco Town District, and finally set down outside Dex's Diner, the finish line of the race.
May the best team win!
A/N: If I'm not told to delete this fanfic, I'll be posting another chapter about the statistics of this race, who wins what, who wins the whole race, who loses, and when, etc. But I won't do it until after the regular story is finished, so you won't receive any more spoilers than you already have.