Many people say that after high school, not a lot will change, but at the same time, everything changes. People change, places change, even you change although you might not think you do. Many stories you read are about love and heartbreak. Of friendship and lovers who've known each other through high school, but no one tells you what happens after the fairy tale "happily ever after" when high school ends. No one tells you how getting a job during the recession can bring your self esteem lower than dirt. No one tells you that not everyone marries their high school sweetheart. And they definitely never touch base with how your parent's don't want a free-loading leache in their house anymore.

I'm here to tell you that not everything you read is true, at least, not everything they let you think happens is true. The thing about life, is not everyone lives the same life. I'm here to share my story. My story about how I fell in love with a wonderful man who would do anything to make me happy. A story about how we drifted apart after high school and was shoved into the real world. This is about my struggles in this shit hole called life, and its only been five years since I've been out and how I wish with every fiber of my being that I could go back and do things differently.

My story starts back in 2009, Senior year in high school. Life was so hard, family was a bother and no one understood me…us, I mean. In elementary and middle school I was known as a bully. I kicked anyone's ass if they stood in my way or hurt any of my friends. When I got to high school, things changed; I changed. I grew these things called feelings and hormones. I guess I couldn't avoid them forever. It's kind of like a science thing. I became less aggressive towards people and focused my anger in arts. I got more into my appearance than I would have liked, you know, brushing my hair and making sure I look decent. I even fell in love a few times, but hey, I'm only 18, what do I know about love. I kept the same friends I've had since the single digit days, and I was so sure nothing would change that.

Seven days until graduation, and what are we doing to celebrate? Parties? Shopping? Planning for an amazing last summer with each other? Nope. We're studying our asses off. Finals for the Seniors are in two days and if we don't pass, we don't graduate. My friends and I are sitting in my bedroom, each of us with our own subject to crunch.

Mikey has a biology book and chemistry book laid out side by side on my bed. Mikey was never good with science. He was more of the creationist, everything happens for a reason, kind of guy. But he took the science classes anyway to have a better understanding of the outside world, even though his parents didn't approve.

Vince was smart and didn't have to worry too hard about passing his classes. He was already going to college on a basketball scholarship so he doesn't need to worry about getting accepted anywhere except state. But he had his statistics book out anyway, studying ratios and what-nots at my computer desk.

Gretchen was going over flashcards with me for German and French class. Taking two language classes weren't too hard, but I keep mixing up the words between the two of them. Gretchen is smart as smart can be. But she doesn't look like it any more. Back in the day, she was nerdy with large glasses and wore braces for four years. Now shes filled out, changed her glasses to look more sophisticated and wears the highest fashion.

TJ and Gus were studying for AP US History, cramming for the names of presidents and state capitals. Gus always found that the history of our country is the most important subject in school. Being a war nut can do that to a person. He plans in following in his step-dads foot steps and joining the army and hoping to become a general someday. TJ isn't even focusing. He keeps glancing at me from his notes and smiling with the boyish grin.

We've been doing this study group tactic for about two weeks now and I'm sure TJ learned nothing from it.

A knock on my bedroom door broke the concentration of the majority of us. The door creaked open and my little brother Sebastian's head popped in.

"Ash, mom says it's almost dinner time. She set the table for all of you." He squeaked. Being 12 years younger than me apparently makes me and my friends intimidating.

"Thanks Seb. Tell mom that we'll be down in fifteen." I respond, putting down a flashcard.

Sebastian scampers off down the stairs. Everyone sighs and starts shuffling around.

"Good studying guys!" Gretchen comments encouragingly. Easy for her to say. She got accepted into MIT next year. Everyone booked marked their chapters with their notes and stood up to stretch.

They started filing out of the room to go down to dinner, leaving me alone with TJ. He pulls me into a big, warm hug and kisses my forehead.

"I love you Spin." He whispers into the beanie I'm wearing.

"I love you too TJ," I said back, looking up into his deep brown eyes. He smiles and plants a kiss on my lips, sending butterflies throughout my insides.

I pull away and drag him out of the room and down stairs where Mom's home cooking awaited us.

"How was the studying?" My mother asked, serving everyone a plate. It was a full house under the Spinelli roof, except my dad who's in Japan on business.

TJ groaned at my mom's question and shoveled a spoon full of corn in his mouth in order to not fully answer her. Gretchen started rambling on about how well we're doing with our studying and that the more we study the same thing, the longer it will stay with us. Then again, I'm not sure when speaking German will come into play later in life, yet it's a requirement for graduating. French is just for fun.

"How lovely," Mother said, smiling her perfect mother smile at us.

It wasn't until the following year that I made the realization that worrying about my studies and stressing over tests was nothing compared to the real world.