MMH: Wootwoot. Another oneshot. Go me. I managed to plug this one out within a day. I think I like oneshots. You get to write whatever you want without plans for continuing the story. This is set before Finn and Jake start their adventuring ways and Marceline is still dating Ash. Enjoy and don't forget to review!

It was just another boring day at the tree house. Ash was off finding magic ingredients, leaving Marceline at home all alone. The two started dating when they met up in the Nightosphere a couple decades ago. Marceline's father, the Lord of Evil, was furious to find out that his daughter was dating Ooo's most rotten vampire, but that gave Marceline all the more reason to continue the relationship. Ash meant well; well, most of the time.

Marceline rummaged through Ash's old collection of videotapes and found one that was particularly interesting. Intrigued, she went over to the television and put it in. Just as the opening credits started her troublesome boyfriend burst in through the front door, letting several rays of light in. He was safe since he was covered head to toe in a ridiculous brown robe, but she was only wearing a red tank top and black shorts.

"What the heck, Ash? You could have burned me you idiot." Marceline hissed as she brought her arm up to protect her face and walked over to him. Ash casually shut the door and strolled over to his girlfriend, hanging up his ugly robe in the process.

"Love you too, Mar-Mar." The two exchanged playful scowls before he kissed her as an apology. "Wanna go with me to wreak havoc at the Candy Kingdom?"

"What? No."

"Why not? Are you chicken?" Ash teased as he gently tugged on his girlfriend's pigtails. Marceline rolled her eyes at his childish attempts to goad her into going. She playfully slapped away his hands and flipped over the back of the couch onto the cushions.

"No. If we try anything, those guards will be all over us. Besides, 'Heat Signature' is on and I've never seen it before."

"We could watch that stupid old movie any time. I hear that the princess is entirely pink. You could suck her dry if you'd like." She scrunched up her nose. She didn't like eating the color pink as much as red; it was far too sugary. However the fridge was entirely empty and Ash refused to buy more food. Even if she didn't end up eating the princess, surely there were treasures and other red things in the castle that she could have.

"Fine." Ash was right; 'Heat Signature' could wait for another time.

"Damn it, Ash! I knew this was a bad idea!" Marceline screamed as she and her boyfriend flew as fast as they could away from the heavily armed candy guards. They had been caught. The two were in the treasure room looting jewels and gold when Ash knocked over a silver plate, the clanging echoing throughout the halls. It wasn't long before they were found and the chase commenced.

"Shut up and run! You go that way and I'll go this way." He shouted as he made a mad dash for the hallway to the right. Marceline flew left and found herself opening the first door she saw. As quietly but quickly as possible, she closed the door and felt nothing but liberation when she heard the guards run by.

Marceline took the brief moment of safety to inspect where she was. It was quite large; this single room was as big as her kitchen and living room combined. The walls were painted pink and several glass doors that let out to the balcony. To the right was a metal table, full of elixirs and ingredients. On the far left of the room was a pink canopy bed with a little figure sleeping peacefully. It was Princess Bubblegum's bedroom. Marceline looked back from the bed to the exit. Should she go over to the princess or escape through the window? Slowly, Marceline crept up to the foot of the bed and looked down at the princess that lay before her.

The young girl couldn't have been more than eight. Her gummy pink hair was in perfect ringlets despite her being asleep and her hands were folded neatly in her lap. It was almost something out of a fairytale. She looked good enough to eat, but Marceline had to resist. If the young girl let out even the slightest scream, the vampire queen would be toast. All she had to do was keep quiet. Keep quiet. Keep quiet. As she quietly made her way over to the window for an escape, Marceline tripped over a stray toy that hadn't been placed in the toy chest at the foot of the bed and she fell to the floor with a thud. Luckily, the guards did not come in to investigate. However a certain pair of eyes snapped open and looked over to the vampire.

"What are you doing in my room?" the princess asked and she shot up straight from her bed. She did not sound afraid, but rather annoyed.

"Shhhh, I'm Santa." Wow, that was stupid. Marceline thought to herself.

"No you're not. Santa is fat and male and old. You are none of those things." The princess said smartly as she sat in her bed, arms crossed. The vampire was tempted to mention that she was in fact old, but held her tongue. "And you didn't answer my question. What are you doing in my room?" Marceline had to think fast if she didn't want Princess Bubblegum calling the guards. C'mon, think. Anything will do. She's just a kid.

"A'ight, ya caught me. I'm on a super-secret mission to protect you from this bad vampire guy that broke into the castle and wants to eat you, but your guards think I'm the one who's trying to get you." As if glob were on her side, shouting and loud footsteps raced past the room.

"Stop vampire! Halt in the name of the king!" they heard a guard yell from the other side of the door, though it was slightly muffled.

"Surely my men can protect me from the bad man just as well as you can." Princess Bubblegum stated trying to not seem threatened, but Marceline saw a slight flash of fear in her eyes.

"But they can't. This particular vampire is super quick and super strong. There is no way that they'll be able to stop him. That is where I come in."

"Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt. You may have a seat at the foot of my bed if you'd like."

"Gee, thanks." Marceline replied sarcastically, though she was pretty sure that the princess didn't think of it that way. She politely sat on her bed and it felt much better than her bed back home."Is Princess Bubblegum you're real name?"

"No. It is simply the beginning of my title. My whole title is Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum of the Candy Kingdom."

"Geez, that's a mouthful. And it doesn't even rhyme like mine." Marceline grinned. She took pride in her title, mostly because it was freaking awesome.

"You come from a royal family as well?" Bonnibel asked, suddenly interested in the foreign person that sat before her.

"Uh…" Marceline didn't want to get too chummy with this kid. If word got to the Nightosphere that she became a friend to a little girl, she'd never hear the end of it. There was a knock on the door and the vampire whirled towards it, eyes wide.

"Hide under my bed." Princess Bubblegum whispered. The vampire queen did not need to be told twice. Just as she managed to slide past the frilly skirt of the bed, the bedroom door opened and Marceline saw a large shadow against the light.

"Have you seen a vampire, my lady? They're terrorizing the castle. We found one, but one other is still loose." Marceline frowned at the guard's words. They hadn't been terrorizing. They were merely looting.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Forgive me, your highness. Please go back to bed." Marceline heard the door close and she let out a sigh of relief. The princess's head popped up in front of the vampire upside down as the young girl pulled back the bed skirt with a large grin on her face.

"So you're a vampire?" Bonnibel gleamed.

"Yeah."

"A royal vampire?"

"Yeah."

"So you've been to far off places and battled trolls and giant spiders and hug-wolves?" The vampire gently shoved the princess's head out of the way so she could get off of the surprisingly dusty floor.

"Yup. I know, I'm pretty awesome." Marceline shrugged as she got up and brushed off the dirt from her clothes.

"Do you want to have a tea party with me? The guards caught the bad guy so you don't have to worry."

"Uh, I dunno. Now that I've finished my mission I really should be going…" The vampire was pushing her luck as it is. She had to leave as soon as possible.

"It's fine. I completely understand. Mother and Father don't really have time to play with me either." The vampire stopped and felt a slight pull at her heart. Marceline hadn't seen her own mother in probably a thousand years and her father… Well, she didn't like talking about her father. She should have escaped from the window when she had the chance. Though the more she thought about it, the more beneficial befriending the princess became. She would have to break Ash out of wherever they were holding him and it would definitely help if she had someone from inside the castle to help. It was the mixture of guilt and self-centeredness that made the vampire stay.

"Fine. I'll stay for one cup but that's it." The young princess's eyes lit up and she nodded her head vigorously. Bonnibel ran over to her large chemistry table and turned on a burner. Marceline sat back and watched with amusement as the girl boiled a kettle of water and brought over a boxful of different bags of tea. She gestured to two cups on her bedside table which Marceline picked up carefully. "Do you got anything red or pink?"

"Oh! That's right; vampires can only have red things." Bonnibel found an orange bag of leaves and plopped it into the vampire's drink. "That is Rooibos tea. The leaves come from the Aspalathus Linearis plant that started off in a place called Ah-fry-cah. I assume that was a place before the Great Mushroom War. Anyway, a man named Carl Humberg brought it to more general sights in 1772 and it has been popular ever since."

"Wow… you sure do know a lot about tea."

"I know a lot about lots of things. Father says that I must know as much as I can in order to be a good ruler." Princess Bubblegum said as she sat down beside the vampire. Marceline looked down at her tea, which had turned a lovely shade of dark red, and took a small sip.

"So you learn about tea?" she joked.

"Not just tea!" Bonnibel whined, hurt by her new friend's torment. She obviously had never been teased before and didn't know how to react. It was rather adorable.

"Relax, kid. I'm just joking; that's what friends do."

"We're friends?"

"Sure."

"Friends. That sounds nice. The only person I'm allowed to hang out with is the Peppermint Butler. Mother says she'll get me a pet rainicorn for my birthday, but she never keeps her promises." Bonnibel sighed as she took a sip of her cinnamon tea. Marceline saw the look of sadness on the girl's face and decided it was best to change the subject.

"When the guards came in, why didn't you say I was here? Couldn't you say I was cool or whatever?"

"No. I'm just the princess; I don't really have much say."

"Not yet. You'll be in charge soon enough."

"I suppose. My father says I have a lot more to learn before I can even think about taking the throne."

"I know what you mean. My dad can be tough to handle too." The two girls sat on the bed talking and eventually they both finished their tea. "Well, I guess it's time for me to go." Marceline sighed. As weird as it was to say it was kind of fun hanging out with this kid, but her boyfriend had to be rescued and she couldn't put it off any longer.

"You'll come back, won't you?" Bonnibel asked as she watched her new vampire friend head for the window. Marceline stopped and looked back at the young girl who looked full of hope and disappointment at the same time.

"Totally."

PB's first true friend *sniffle*. And Ash is pretty decent in this story. I'd like to think he wasn't always a raging douchebag.