First ever songfic... I probably epic failed... I apologize in advance for that.
This angsty. There are Days spoilers here, so you have been warned.
Implied AkuRoku in one sentence if you read between the lines.(I don't mean that literally, so don't go looking for the line between the line.)
Disclaimer: *Hums happily* Oh look, see that plane? The one with 'I don't own the rights to Kingdom Hearts' on it? Yeah, I own that plane.(if you think I'm serious about the plane get the fshift8shift8shift8 out of here.) I am serious about the don't own the rights thing. Nor do I own that hot air balloon that says 'I don't own the song', I do how ever own the words on it.
Day after day it's the same thing; do a mission, sit on the clock tower, sleep, repeat.
Every here and there the routine will change. Like it did today when I had another vision of the boy in red. I swear, these vision are memories, just not my memories, but his.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
Now I sit in my room, the memories both mine and his ravaging my mind. Consuming it. It's like picking at a scab, opening a wound that shouldn't be. Picking through these memories, tearing myself so far apart I'm losing touch with who I am, what I am. And none of the other members notice a thing, not even Axel or Xion. Everyone just assumes that me locking myself in my room for hours on end is completely fine, like I'm not shredding my existence.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't want to be fighting these battles. Not if the only reason is to collect hearts. I don't even know why I'm doing it. Why am I the only one, beside Xion who can wield the Keyblade? Why is the Keyblade so important? Just because it can capture hearts? Even if we the Organization, complete Kingdom Hearts, what comes of it? I'm always the one sent to battle hordes of Heartless. I don't want to be fighting pointless battles. I'm so confused…
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Teamed with Axel for today's mission. Now here we are, fighting Heartless, the same thing I do every mission. What am I fighting for? To collect hearts? Defend myself? Protect Axel? I'm tearing myself up doing this, so why do I continue? Why do I scream in pain if we can't feel? Why does it feel like I'm feeling when I'm not?
"You seems out of it, you ok?" Axel asks as we head back to the dark corridor we came from.
"I hate having to work with people I hate." I spit. Why am I becoming so bitter? Axel didn't do anything and I basically said I hate him, which is opposite of the truth… I think…
"Whoa, I thought we were friends?" Axel questions, seeming fearful of me. Without another word I run off to no place in particular. Curling into a tight ball in front of the old mansion, tears flowing down my face. How did I get here? How did I ever let myself get like this? I shouldn't be like this…
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
Holding on to what little sanity remains, locked tightly inside myself, as I hold her in my arms. My breath weakens as realization of what's happening hits like Saix's claymore to my head. I've never felt this kind of pain, sorrow, grief, despair. I didn't want to fight her, but I had no choice. One of us had to go, the one who doesn't belong in the picture. Why did I have to…
"You'll be… better off now… Roxas." That's a lie! Why would you say that? After all we've been through!
"Am I… the one who did this to you?" I know the answer, so why did I ask?
"No. It was my choice… to go away now." It is my fault. If I would have let go, refused…
"It's too late, for me to undo my mistakes." That maybe, but you can still live with them! Just as I'll have to live with this…
"Goodbye Roxas." Don't go! I need you, more then anything. I can't do anything, but sit here and watch the ice take you. Just like that, you're gone. As if you never were.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
Here I am again, fighting pointless battles, but this time there on my path. They always choose me, weather I want them to or not. All because of this thing I hold.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
"You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" I'd be better off then what I am now.
"Nobody would miss me." Feel the pain I feel, feel the hurt. Forget me, like we forgot her.
"That's not true. I would." That's just another lie.
Walking these lonely, dead streets. I still don't know what I'm fighting for, but it's not you, nor is it her or him.
It seems the only thing left is myself, and that may not last. I still say things I shouldn't. I'm still wondering how I got myself here.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
"Why? Why do you have the Keyblade?" Why do I? I still don't know that either.
"Shut up!" I can't stand this, who does this guy think he is?
"Why don't you quit?" Who am I asking? Him or myself? I've done so much damage as is, so why don't I?
"Come on Sora. I thought you were stronger then that." Sora? Who is that?
"Get real, look which one of us is winning." That wasn't me. It was my voice, but why would I say that to some stranger? It's starting to feel like I know him…
"What are you talking about? I am me, nobody else!" Whoever this Sora is has nothing to do with me. This is the last time I'll do this.
"Alright, you've left me with no other choice." Left you with no other choice? I had no other choice when I did that to her. No choice when I did that to him. I ran out of option, you still have some. You could walk away right now, unlike me. You could stop, like I can't. You can do so much I can't.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
"Looks like my summer vacation's over." And with that, I ended it all, broke the habit, I don't remember what it was, but I know I broke it…
I know I epic failed.
Roxas: Why am I always a part of your angst fics?
If you weren't such an angst filled character then you wouldn't be.
Roxas: Angst filled?
You're not a happy character like your Somebody. Confess your love to Axel and that may change.
Roxas: No comment.
Well, while Roxas takes care of that, you can take care to review. You can say I epic failed at this, but don't make it a flame. Say it in a nice way, that being: "you epic failed."