The Bard's Tales: The Blessed Sun
Chapter 1 (wherein plot is explicated, after which the fun starts)
Author's Note: Warning to all who come here expecting sturm und drang, angst or any other Germanic hyperbole. This is the fanfic equivalent of cotton candy. I'm a fan of the classic witty romantic comedies (Charade, His Girl Friday, It Happened One Night, etc.) I was also influenced heavily by Mirror, which I thought was brilliantly done. Finally, I think Kahlan deserves a chance to do girly stuff for a change (which anybody who knows me will be amazed by—yes, I like girly stuff now and then). So you put all that together, toss it in the Cuisinart that is my brain, and voila, out comes this. A frothy, gooey mess. Takes place in the aftermath of the events I made up for Promethean Heat. Boy, do they need some light fun after that…and so do I.
Summary: A ceremonial visit to an ally leads to an unfortunate series of events for Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, I'm not making any money off this. All characters outside of Zedd, Richard and Kahlan, however, are mine, as are all locations. Any similarity to any actual place in the LotS world is purely accidental, and should be interpreted as a sign of divine approval of this story. So there.
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"So why are we going to wherever it is we're going?" Richard asked as they rode down a sun-dappled path. He'd been out hunting when a messenger caught up with them the day before, and Kahlan had been very close-mouthed about why they were suddenly dropping everything to head for… Eridor. That's what Kahlan said, he remembered. They'd packed up and left immediately, and Zedd seemed to be deferring to Kahlan as far as enlightening Richard, which meant he'd gotten no enlightenment so far. In fact, Kahlan wasn't talking much at all. All he knew was that they'd passed through the west gates to the Eastfold earlier that morning (something he learned only by asking one of the guards at the gate, who looked at him like he was an idiot for asking where he was), and now they were halfway across the narrow strip of parkland nestled between the mountains.
"Egbert's Keep," Zedd finally said after glancing over at Kahlan, clearly waiting for her to respond, and continuing when he saw she wasn't going to. "For the new king's coronation. It's tradition for the Mother Confessor to be a part of the ceremony."
Kahlan looked uncomfortable. "Are you sure I have to be there, Zedd?" she asked, and he was pleased that she was at least willing to talk about it in front of Richard now. "Can't they manage without me?"
Zedd looked down his nose at her. "Kahlan, you know this is important. Eridor is a crucial part of the war against Rahl. If he takes Eridor, he'll have a much easier time getting soldiers into the Midlands."
"Of course I know that," Kahlan said irritably. "But nobody's been able to conquer Eridor in a thousand years. Egbert's Keep is impossible to capture."
"And the reason it's impossible to capture is Ferimond's Bane," Zedd said imperturbably. "And Ferimond's Bane only works if there's a sitting king. A sitting king who has been crowned using the traditional ritual. A ritual that requires the presence of the Mother Confessor," he finished, gesturing with a flourish at the Confessor riding next to him.
Kahlan sighed, knowing it was pointless to continue the argument.
"Ferimond's Bane?" Richard was asking.
"A very powerful protective spell, one that destroyed one of Rahl's distant ancestors, Ferimond of D'Hara," Zedd said, relishing the opportunity to discuss history and magic. "One of my distant ancestors, Zephath Zorander, cast the spell when Ferimond and his army were laying siege to Egbert's Keep." He looked pointedly at Kahlan, "Just as the D'Harans were about to break through the castle gates."
Kahlan glared at Zedd. "Which is exactly why I don't think this is necessary. Rahl knows what happened to Ferimond--he isn't stupid enough to attack Eridor."
"Unless he finds out that Ferimond's Bane isn't in effect anymore," Zedd said. "Until the new king is crowned, and the ceremony to transfer the power of the Bane is complete, the Keep is vulnerable. Which is precisely why they've kept this quiet for the past month."
"What happened to the old king?" Richard asked.
"He was killed, along with a dozen of his men and the Lord Chamberlain, in a rockslide while they were out hunting several weeks ago," Zedd said sadly. "A tragedy. King Mardon was a good king, and he knew how to treat his guests well. So now there's to be a royal wedding, since King Mardon left only a daughter to succeed him, followed by the crowning of the new king."
"Your Zephath was a chauvinist," Kahlan said. "As if power should only pass from father to son. Nowhere else in the Midlands is that archaic."
"All the more reason for the Mother Confessor to be in attendance," Zedd said pointedly. "A feminine presence to temper the male dominance."
Richard stifled a chuckle as Kahlan scowled at Zedd. Score one for Zedd, Richard thought. "So," he said, stepping in to defuse the tension, "a wedding and a coronation. I don't see what's so bad about being part of all this. It sounds like fun to me. Hot food, music, dancing, a few days of sleeping in a real bed. What's not to like?"
"Standing for hours wearing uncomfortable shoes, an uncomfortable dress, all while Rahl's minions are running roughshod over the Midlands," Kahlan said. "We have important things to do, and instead we're wasting time babysitting a king who's in the safest spot in the world."
"Kahlan, we've been going non-stop for weeks. I know I could use a break," Richard said, wondering if there was some other reason she was out of sorts. "Why not try to enjoy it?"
Enjoy it, Kahlan thought. Right. She sighed, inwardly this time. Give it up, Kahlan, she told herself. You have to be there, and there's no getting out of it. Maybe he'll have forgotten. It's been nine years, after all.
You haven't forgotten, said the more annoying voice in her head. She spurred her horse into a canter, trying hard to ignore that voice.
"What's going on?" Richard asked Zedd, watching her go.
Zedd shook his head. "I have no idea," he said. "But I have a feeling we'll find out soon. There's the castle." He pointed at the mountains rising ahead of them, and Richard could make out the outline of battlements in a cleft between two of the steepest peaks.
An hour later, they were climbing toward the gates of the keep along a narrow, winding road paved with cobblestones. I wouldn't want to try to attack this place, Richard thought, impressed. And according to Zedd, this is the side they don't worry about.
Kahlan's sudden interest in arriving quickly had faded as they climbed toward the keep. Now she was lagging a little behind Richard and Zedd, and she looked apprehensive. Not like there's danger, Richard realized, glancing back at her. More the kind of apprehension you get when you're waiting to do something you know you won't like. He looked up at the keep, which was pretty foreboding. The iron-clad gates were set into walls that were a good 30 feet high, and the gates were at least ten yards wide. They must weigh a ton, Richard thought.
But as they approached, there was a sound of trumpets, and the gates opened wide in seconds, as if they were feather-light. They rode through the gates and into a narrow courtyard, bounded on either side by stairways leading up to the walls beside the gates. There was a pair of wide, arching hallways leading off under the side staircases, lit by torchlight, and another staircase in front of them, leading up to another wide door set into an even higher set of walls.
There were four men waiting for them as they dismounted, and three of them took the horses, leading them off down one of the hallways. The last, a burly man with graying hair, bowed. "Welcome to the Keep!" he said heartily. "I am Bredon, Captain of the Guard. My men will take excellent care of your mounts. It's an honor to meet you all. We've been hearing about your exploits for months. You're making life miserable for Darken Rahl, which makes life a lot brighter for the rest of us."
"Don't believe everything you hear," Richard said, embarrassed.
"Son, if even half of what I hear is true--" Bredon broke off as a little man dressed in a vivid blue surcoat that had the odd look of being too big despite its fitting him perfectly, scurried up to Kahlan and bowed deeply.
"Mother Confessor, allow me to welcome you to Egbert's Keep. I am Lord Chamberlain Daffyd. The entire kingdom of Eridor is honored--"
"Kahlan!" a man's voice called from far up the staircase in front of them. A young man with blond hair that looked as though he'd been shaken upside-down by a giant came running down the stairs so fast Richard was certain he'd go head over heels. That might explain the hair, he thought. As he got closer, Richard realized he had a hint of a mustache that only served to make him look younger than he did already.
Daffyd looked as though he'd eaten something unpleasant as the young man skidded to a stop in front of Kahlan, out of breath. Richard glanced at Kahlan, and was surprised to see nearly the same expression on her face.
"I'm…so glad…you're here!" the young man said between deep breaths, leaning over with his hands braced on his knees. "How long…has it been?"
"Nine years," Kahlan said as though that hadn't been nearly long enough, then seemed to realize that she needed to be more gracious. She smiled. "It's good to see you again, Flynn. How is your father?"
Flynn grinned. "Almost as glad I'm here as I am to be out from under his thumb again," he said, regaining his breath. He stood straight, ending up several inches taller than Kahlan, and she seemed a bit surprised by it, looking up at his face.
"My dear Mother Confessor," Daffyd tried to break in, but Flynn was having none of it.
"You have to come meet Adeline," Flynn said. "You'll like her. Oh, I'm sorry!" he said, noticing Zedd and Richard for the first time. "You must be the Seeker!" He held out his hand, and Richard clasped his forearm.
"Richard Cypher," he said.
"Flynn Devere," the young man responded, pumping Richard's arm up and down wildly. "Soon to be King Flynn of Eridor." He grinned at Kahlan again. "Bet you never thought you'd see that," he said, winking.
"And this is Zeddicus Z'ul Zorander," Kahlan said, nodding to the wizard.
"A wizard of the First Order!" Flynn said, his eyes wide. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."
Daffyd cleared his throat loudly. "My dear Mother Confessor," he said again, "the entire kingdom of Eridor--"
"This way," Flynn said, taking Kahlan's arm as if he'd known her for years. Which, apparently, he has, Richard thought. "The keep is amazing. Staircases everywhere. You have to go up to go down, down to go up, and sideways to get anywhere else." He dragged her up the stairs, chattering, as Daffyd looked after them, his face going red.
"My dear Mother Confessor!" he called after her, and scrambled up the steps after them.
Kahlan looked back down at Richard, and he didn't need magic to read that wide-eyed appeal. Richard looked sidelong at Zedd, and they both had to stifle laughter as they started up the stairs together. No wonder Kahlan wasn't looking forward to this, Richard thought, amused at the prospect of his stoic Confessor suffering through a week of this. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.