AN: In the Manga, Usagi sensed when Galaxia took Mamoru's star seed, but Seiya and the Starlights were apparently cross-dressing women. In this story Usagi senses the broken bond like in the manga, but Seiya is a man, like in the anime. With that in mind, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does not belong to me; if it did the writing would be a bit different.

COMFORT IN SOLACE

By lightning-storm

Usagi pulled her arms to her chest as she stared at the moon for the umpteenth time. It had been four, four months since her love had left to America, and four months since her bond with him was lost. Four months of pretending, writing letters to a man who would not answer, could not answer, for he was no longer there. Yet she had to keep the act, tell her friends that she was all right, that a year from now, her Mamo-chan would return, and their dream future would finally begin to progress. Yet there was no future! There could be no future like the one Pluto had described, for Mamoru was gone, and unless a miracle occurred, would never be around again in this lifetime. Yes, her Mamo- chan was dead; she knew it from the moment he had left the airport and their bond had been broken.

Usagi sobbed more as she thought of when he proclaimed he wished to study abroad, and that his thesis had been accepted. When he had told her he was leaving, she had wanted to scream, to cry and beg for him to stay by her side, but if she did, what kind of person would that make her? She couldn't allow him to give up his passion, his desire, his whole dream just to satiate her own selfish whim. So here she was, no Mamo-chan to comfort her, to make her smile and laugh, to protect her. Usagi thought of that fateful day so many moons ago.

FLASH

Usagi watched as her love stepped up on the plane and readied for take off. For a whole year, she would not have her Mamo-chan by her side. That would be a whole year without his touch, his warmth, his candied kisses, and unsurpassing strength. She wasn't sure how she could take it, but she knew she had to let him go. Besides, he would be back, he promised. Usagi fiddled with the ring on her finger, admiring the bright shine and exquisite design. It was small and delicate with a bright red ruby and small diamonds around the stone, and engraved inside the band was "Usako, my love, yours 4-ever, Mamoru."

"Mamoru," she spoke silently, and she could have sworn he responded with his clear, strong voice, " Usako." The young woman slowly turned from the gate in which her love had ascended, and bounded away. Yet before she could get very far, a dark presence seemed to fill the air, and the energy of her and Mamo-chan 's bond soared dramatically, before it began to fade. Disbelieving, she looked up only to find a bright flash as his plane seemed to disintegrate into nothingness, and their bond seemed to shatter into a thousand pieces. Her once rosy cheeks became deathly pale, and her heart felt as if it was ripped from her chest. She sent out her energy, searching for any minute sign of the bond that she had become so familiar with, but she was only met with emptiness.

"MAMO-CHAN!!!" she screamed, as she realized their bond had been destroyed. She collapsed into a sobbing heap then, trembling and choking as she thought of all they had gone through.

END FLASH

Tears welled into her eyes as she remembered that awful day. Even now, she could not fully accept the fact that her prince was gone. As a matter of fact, often times she found herself wondering if she was wrong. For if he was truly dead, how could their dream future be possible? Would she ever find him again? And if so, how many more battles would she have to face to see him once again? Or would she have to wait another 1000 years to hear his voice, to feel his hands as he held her in his arms and kissed her pain away?

"No." she cried once more. Usagi pulled her legs into her and closed her eyes feeling the cool, but harsh breeze as it blew across her naked skin. This was her place of solace. It was a hidden burrow within the park, surrounded by bushes, trees, and flowers that made the chaos of the world around her seem todisappear, and gave her a crystal clear view of the silver moon. In the past she had come here many times, soaking in ecstasy as her love spoke sweet nothings in her ear, held her in his arms, and made her his own. Yet, he was no longer here. Usagi fell out of her dreamy daze and faced the cold reality with her entire heart and soul. Mamoru was gone, and as far as she knew, would never be here again.

Usagi choked backed her sobs as she thought of all the happy, sad, exciting, and deadly moments she had faced with her prince. She thought of his warmth, his strength, his power, and love. She thought of the feelings he'd awaken in her when he pulled her to the ground, and embraced her with all he was, and all he could be, and it made her heart ache. He was her Mamo-chan, and their bond had lasted since the beginning of time. No one could break it.

But now that he was gone, someone else was attempting to do just that. True, he would never replace her one true love, but that didn't stop him from trying. And as much as she hated to admit it, neither could it stop her from falling.

"Seiya- kun." Usagi whispered quietly, and she thought back to their first meeting so many months ago. It was right after her bond with Mamo-chan had disappeared.

FLASH.

"Mamo-chan!" she cried, "Mamo-chan, why did you leave me?" She was so upset, that she didn't even notice the strange looks that passerby's were giving her, nor did she notice as a slim shadow fell over her broken form.

"Daijobu," she half heard, then "Daijobu desuka, Odango?" The last word broke her out of her choking sobs, as her love had given her that pet name when they first met. Somewhere in the fog that now wrapped her within it's icy grasp, Usagi was dimly aware of the weight of a masculine hand upon her shoulder. When she looked up she found her self staring into deep blue eyes, and short raven colored hair through large blurry tears. Though it was not him, Mamoru's image blended with the figure in front of her and Usagi thought that by some miracle she had been mistaken. Her eyes lit up considerably, and with incredible strength she pushed off the floor, grabbed his neck, and pulled him down to her level.

"Mamo-chan!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him, "Mamo-chan is it really you?"

Completely surprised, but thoroughly enjoying the feel of this young woman in his arms, the raven haired man pulled her into a light embrace, and placed one his hands on the top of her head. "Yes?" he questioned, not quite sure who Mamo-chan was.

"Mamo-chan, Mamo –chan." She whispered hesitantly, "I thought you were-," before she could finish, a soft but harsh voice met her ears.

"What are you doing?"

"We are not here to pick up on random women!" Another voice spoke, deeper then the other, and not as harsh. Usagi widened her eyes, and looked up to see a petite man with silver hair that fell playfully into his face and bright green eyes, filled with anger. She then saw a much taller one with brown hair pushed out of his face, and cold violet colored eyes. She noticed the man in front of her loosen his grip and looked up to not see the midnight colored eyes of her love, but slightly darker blue eyes of someone younger. His hair was shorter, and his features more youthful. Usagi felt her heart freeze. She pushed away from this stranger with all her might and fell to the floor. The man before her tried to speak, and reached out, but she yanked her arm away, cold blue steel replacing her gentle blue sapphires. "How dare you!" She hissed brokenly, "how dare you take advantage of a broken girl.'

"What?" the man spoke firmly, fire flaring up behind his Navy colored eyes "If I remember correctly, you were the one who grabbed me!" he shouted, gripping her shoulder once again. Usagi broke away from his grasp, and slapped his handsome face. A red welt became quite prominent on the marble skin. She stepped back, anger in her eyes, but after a moment, the anger cleared, and Usagi covered her mouth in shock, not quite coming to terms with the hit she had given him. "Gomene!" she cried tearfully, "Gomenasai!" and with that, she turned tail and ran as fast and as far as she could away from the man she had just unleashed her distress upon, leaving him bewildered, irritated, and curious.

End Flash

Usagi enclosed her face and legs once again. She had been so awful to him, it was a miracle how quickly they had become friends later on.

Shortly after their first meeting, she found out that he was one of the 'Three Lights,' a brand new band that had quickly gained popularity in all of Japan. Everyone had gone crazy for them, even sweet sensible Ami who seemed to have the best head on her shoulders. After an introductory concert in the park by her home, the three boys transferred to her school. Seiya sat right behind her, always poking and prodding her when she became sleepy. At first he had annoyed her, but soon she took comfort in his presence when he was around. He was always there when she needed someone to talk to or laugh with, and he was after her heart. Although she had tried and tried to dissuade him from his persistence, telling him about Mamoru, he kept showing interest, supporting her, pursuing her.

One day he asked her where her boyfriend was. She paused for a moment, not sure if she could lie or not, but did so in order to keep up the act that had become so prominent in her day to day life. She hesitantly answered that Mamoru was in America. Seiya smiled and tapped her on one of her buns.

"Then I have a chance."

At the time, she didn't know what he meant, but from that day foreword, he was always there teaching, listening, joking, helping, even protecting her. And eventually her heart began to soften; she began to crave his company. Her act began to break little by little. Often times she would catch Seiya staring at her when the truth presented itself in her stance, and face. He asked her about it on more then one occasion, but she just said she was worried about her Mamo-chan and he would leave it at that.

"Sniff, sniff." Usagi wiped her nose and eyes with the back of her hand. "Everyone," she whispered, "What should I do?" she paused, "How can I continue?" Usagi was breaking, she knew it. She knew that soon she could not smile, and send letters that had no destination. Nor could she lie about her love. However, everyone was counting on her future, the happy future that Setsuna had described to her, and a future where Usagi had her Mamo-chan. "Ahhh!" Usagi screamed in distress, and threw her body on the moist grass below her. "Mamo-chan, Endy, my prince," then after a brief moment, "Seiya-kun."

She knew that he cared about her. She knew that he wanted her, but that didn't matter. She was not ready, or at least she told her self that, and perhaps, she never would be. Not after losing the love of her life, 'but sometimes', Usagi thought about Seiya and his teasing grin, and carefree spirit. She thought about all he had done for her since that fateful day, and sighed. "Sometimes I wish… "

Before she could finish her sentence, Usagi heard something in the nearby bushes. Frightened, Usagi gripped the grass below her and scooted away from the sound. She tried to get up and run, but her legs didn't seem to want to cooperate, and when she did manage to stand up and run, her foot got caught in a rotted tree trunk. The sound was becoming closer, and the fallen trunk would not release her trapped foot

"What's that?" she stated, a frightened tone in her voice. She heard a crack, and then a curse as someone stood up from the shadows and made an action as if he was kicking something away. Usagi panicked as she thought of the recent news of a night prowler stealing and hurting his victims, and prayed this figure wasn't him.

"Whose there?" Exclaimed Usagi again, which much more confidence then she felt. When there was no answer she put one hand on her transformation broach, tried to release her foot from the trunk with more urgency. A masculine silhouette emerged from the shadows, and finally her foot broke free. She quickly stood up from her spot and kicked at the man who stepped closer to her.

"SAILOR KICK!" she exclaimed as the figure backed out of the bushes, and the figure turned around what seemed like as fast as the wind and dodged the dainty foot that was headed its way.

"Don't!" he exclaimed, before rushing towards her small form, and revealing his face in the moonlight. "It's me!" Usagi dropped her foot, recognizing the voice of the man who she had just been contemplating.

"Seiya-kun!" she cried, and gripped his tense form. "Where did you come from?" A pause, "And how did you find me?"

"I heard you shouting as I was taking a late night stroll in the park."

"What are you doing on a late night stroll!" she said with a twinge of fire in her eyes.

"I needed to get away from Yaten and Taiki," He said in exasperation, as he backed away from her livid form, "I know those guys mean well, but sometimes I wish they'd just let me be!"

"Um hm," then thinking about where she knew they last stayed, she looked at him curiously, "Don't you live on the other side of town?"

"No," he said nonchalantly, "The studio moved us closer to here. Besides, what's the big deal?"

"Nothing," Usagi blushed lightly, "I was just… just surprised!" she couldn't very well tell him that she was mulling about him and Mamoru when he found her in the bushes. "Don't you know it's not a good idea to sneak up on a girl in the middle of the night?"

"Don't you know it's not a good idea for a girl to go into an elusive area of the park in the middle of the night?"

Usagi blushed, he had her there, but he didn't know about her Sailor form in which she often went off in the middle of the night. "You scared me," a pause, then she placed her hands on her waist obstinately, "and I almost hit you!"

"Not like that's never happened before," Seiya said as he rubbed the cheek in which she had hit so many months before. "That slap you gave me stung for hours," He stated with a small quirk on his handsome face. It was quite an interesting experience if he could remember correctly. She had been crying on the floor when he placed his hand on her shoulder and asked her if she was okay. When she looked up, her eyes lit up and dragged him to the ground, mistaking her for her fiancée at the time. When she found out he was not who she thought he was, she slapped him harshly and ran away. It irritated him somewhat, but not too much. After all, she was cute.

He smirked teasingly and crossed his arms across his chest, expecting one of her minor fits at any moment. Rather then her usual outburst however, he saw her shoulders slump, and her hands turn white. When she began to tremble, his heart quickened and he placed his hands on her shoulders, realizing he had touched a nerve.

"Gomen." He said sincerely, and the girl smiled sadly, before narrowing her eyes and turning toward the moon, a red blush painted on her fair face.

"Besides," she said as she crossed her arms and stared into the night. "That doesn't count. It was at the airport." A pause, "And you tricked me!"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, relieved to see that she was back to the same Usagi he knew and loved. Then a mischievous glint shimmered in his dark eyes. He smiled and gave her a wink. "We all know you just couldn't resist touching me."

Usagi was silent for a moment, then "What!" Her face turned a cherry red color. As much as she liked him, sometimes he could be so annoying! "You are so full of yourself sometimes Seiya-kun!"

"Hey," he said with a smirk, "What can I say? It comes with the Idol territory." Lazily putting his arm around her slight shoulders he looked at the full moon along with her, "Do you deny it?"

Rather then saying anything, Usagi blushed, and pulled away from him slightly, her hands held in small fists. She looked ethereal as the gentle light touched her delicate features and Seiya caught his breath. She looked like an angel. Seiya then placed his hand on her shoulder, and touched his lips to her earlobe. "Beautiful."

When he whispered into her ear, Usagi felt her heart pound with an emotion similar, though not quite as strong, as the one that consumed her soul when Mamoru had been with her. She wondered briefly what this emotion could be, but tried not to think about it too much. She enjoyed that feeling and rested her hand on her breast before a question came to her mind.

"Seiya-kun?" she questioned shyly and the man placed his index finger to her chin, and lifted her face towards his own.

What he saw there was a multitude of emotions, including of love, sadness, and loneliness. Her eyes were watery, and her face tainted what appeared to be permanent shade of pink. He could tell she had been crying before he arrived, and felt a small sadness prick his heart. She seemed to mock him, as her pink lips trembled, and she closed her eyes leaning towards him just a bit. Unbeknownst, Usagi tempted him with her small pink lips, innocent eyes, and apparent vulnerability. Seiya almost claimed her small mouth, but as he thought of her fiancée he couldn't find it in his heart to do so, not when he knew this was false, and that her true heart belonged elsewhere.

"Odango," he said letting go of her face, darkness cloaking his eyes. "What is it?" he asked in a somber tone. The small girl shook her head. Removing a long strand of hair that had gotten in her eyes he asked, "Why were you crying?" Throughout the four months he had known her, he only knew one thing that affected her this way, and the name was Mamoru. A subtle fire blazed behind his deep blue eyes, "Is it Mamoru?"

She nodded slightly, and Seiya tightened his grip on her. Seiya wondered briefly why that guy always came up. Why was she so attached to a guy that had left her behind like that?

"Have you heard from him yet?" he asked more seriously, and Usagi balled her fists, squeezing her eyes shut at the onslaught of new tears. In any other situation he would have lightened the mood by saying something like, "You want me to rough him up a bit for you?" But her pain ran deeper, and saying that would probably end up in a messy situation.

But still, he had to know something. "Why you so attached to that guy?" he asked, annoyance clearly present in his voice. When she shook her head again, he put his hands to his sides. "What has that guy done to you but caused problems, over and over again!"

Usagi felt her heart ache. She couldn't take it anymore. All that determination, all that fighting, all those lies to pretend that Mamo-chan was okay crashed down on top of her. She couldn't stand one of her dearest friends, talking about Mamo-chan like that, even if she did care for him.

"Because I loved him, I can never stop loving him. Even though…even though…" she cried out, the horrifying image of his plane disintegrating in mid air, and their bond shattering tore at her soul. "No!" She finally screamed in so much hurt, anger, and agony that Seiya had to take a step back. The color from his skin paled a little, and his eyes went wide in surprise. His Usagi was always cheerful, silly, and light hearted. Never had he seen her in such despair. What exactly happened? He felt his protective instincts come into play and began to mull over the many ways he could kill that guy once he returned.

Nontheless, Seiya regretted leaving her in such a spell and took a step closer, attempting to engulf her within his arms. When she did not reject him, he put his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. The girl choked back quiet sobs before grabbing a fistful of his dark blue jacket, and tears began to spill. "I'm sorry Usagi-chan," Seiya said, a worried tone in his voice, but there was no response. She began to shake, and lost nearly all feeling in her legs.

"Mamo-chan," she whispered momentarily, and Seiya looked at her sadly, before pulling her closer to his body. She snuggled into his warmth, taking comfort in his solid presence as he stroked her back with one of his hands. "Seiya-kun," She whispered quietly, as she thought she did not want to lose this warmth as of yet, and Seiya looked at her curiously before loosening his hold.

"Can you?" her words were soft, and hesitant, "Can you…" Seiya looked at her expectantly, and she mumbled into his chest, "Can you stay with me tonight?"

At first he was speechless; but then he smiled slightly, and held her tight.

"Of course," he said, a warm tone in his smooth voice, and the moonlight shone bright upon the youthful pair. Seiya breathed deeply, calming his emotions, and ran his fingers through her long golden tresses. For several moments they just stood there, basking in each other's warmth, and enjoying the quiet solace of the midnight sky. Usagi wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he looked at her, concern written in his navy blue eyes.

"What's up Odango?" He asked after a brief moment, and the small girl choked before letting out a rough breath. "You can tell me."

"Seiya-kun" Usagi asked after a long silence.

"Yeah?" he mumbled. Usagi's only response to that was to resituate her position, and rub her forehead into his broad chest, "Do you love me?"

Startled, the young man, pulled away from her, and looked into her sapphire eyes, trying to see if he could read whatever compelled her to ask him such a serious question. She looked worried, and frightened, almost as if she had committed a terrible taboo. But mostly her eyes were tired, her spirit weak. As he lost himself in those fathomless depths, he learned to decipher every pain, every desire, and every fear. He felt a headache coming on for all the intensity he saw there. She was definitely mysterious. When he was finally able to compose himself, he cleared his throat and patted her on the head.

"Why do you ask?"

The girl looked at him, love shining through her eyes, causing Seiya's heart to burn. Usagi looked down sadly, and let go of his body. "Nothing, " As she attempted to turn her face away from the handsome boy in front of her, he grabbed her wrist and spun her into another embrace. Without waiting for her reaction, he placed a deep kiss upon her open lips. To his surprise, she leaned into his kiss, and returned it with equal ardor. Seiya was swimming in joy, and couldn't help but lose himself in this one quiet moment with Usagi by his side. Usagi was much the same.

Slowly they began to descend to the soft grass, and Seiya pressed Usagi's body beneath his, deepening the kisses as he did so.

'Mamo-chan' Usagi said a silent plea as Seiya's warmth covered her lithe body. 'Are you watching me from up there, from the cloud of heaven in which you sleep?'

"If so," she whispered quietly, well aware of her suppressed feelings for Seiya at this time. Her companion stopped his actions as he heard her, and wiped a lone tear from her eye.

"Odango," he spoke with sincerity and love. Usagi felt as if her heart had leapt out of her chest. She cupped his cheek with her soft and cool hand, a loving, albeit lonely look plastered across her smooth face. "I hope Mamoru's angel can forgive me someday."

~~~END~~~

That's it. A little rough I guess, especially since I haven't written anything in forever, but hopefully not completely OOC. Hope you like it though, and I'd love to here your praise or critiques, but no flames. They won't do you any good. Later