Fire represented many things to Merlin. It was a source of heat that was used for cooking food and to keep certain room or place warm during the day and night, especially during winter time. But fire was also dangerous. It had the capability to take away everything a person owned in matter in seconds, including person's life.
Ever since Merlin met now king prat, the fire or to be more specific, camp fire, served as sort of mediator between master and servant; two friends that shared probably most private of thoughts over camp fire.
"My heart says do anything I can to save Mordred. But I have seen what misery unfettered sorcery brings. Before my father outlawed magic, Camelot was almost destroyed by sorcery."
Merlin had to restrain himself from snorting at that remark. Camelot was just fine before Uther turned on Nimueh and started avenging his wife's death by killing thousands of innocents so he would ease his guilt in a way. Sure…According to Gaius, before magic was outlawed some people used magic for wrong end. Some. Not everyone.
"In my time, Morgana has used it for nothing but evil. What would you do? In my place?" Arthur cast his friend that pleading look again that was desperate for advice and meant that Arthur was truly conflicted at what to do.
But Merlin found himself just as conflicted this time. Last few times when they had conversations like this one, he already had half-baked answers for his friend and king. Now…he was not so sure.
"Me?" Merlin gave Arthur a slightly teasing look "I'm just a lackey. Maker of the beds."
"Lackeys can be wise."
Arthur eyed his friend carefully; there was something off about him for few days now, ever since Osgar gave him the runemark.
"It is not like you to be silent."
"Kingdom's future is at stake."
"And a man's life."
"You must protect Camelot. You must protect the world you spent your life building…a just and fair kingdom for all."
"You would have me sacrifice a friend?"
The images of frightened boy pleading Merlin to save him from the guards flooded the warlock's mind and he had to blink few times to chase them away.
"I would have you become king you are destined to be."
"If I do save Mordred, all my father's work will be for nothing. Sorcery will reign once more in Camelot. Is that what you'd want?"
If Arthur only knew what conflict was wracking up his friend's mind and soul as he tried to untangle some sort of an answer for his king?
"Perhaps my father was wrong, perhaps the old ways aren't as evil as we thought. So what should we do? Accept magic? Or let Mordred die?"
Arthur rarely saw tears in Merlin's eyes. In fact, he could say with certainty that he cried more than his manservant. It was obvious that his plea for advice on this issue was causing some sort of inner conflict for his friend. But the question was why?
Merlin cast his eyes downwards, his mind spinning options around fast as lightning. The second option was oh so tempting. To let Mordred die would solve his problem number one. He never had anything against the boy that now turned man served Arthur with honour and respect. But the idea that all his hard work of protecting Arthur would fade as a flower because of one mistake was pained one.
Kilgharrah told him to take the opportunity if one presented itself to him. However, Merlin learnt by now that Kilgharrah's advice were just the same as trust. Double edged sword. Sometimes he was right and sometimes he was dead wrong. Morgana was the obvious failure on both their parts. Oh, how that failure still burnt in his heart.
Though he could remember vividly in every detail the vision Lochru showed him, he could also vividly remember the Crystal Cave and whole series of events he caused by trying to change the future. In his opinion, this sealed Morgana's future actions that have a reach to this day.
"What happened to the boy that came into my chambers just a few years ago?"
"He grew up. And he learned the meaning of duty."
Did he though? Did he truly believe that duty, compassion and hope do not fit into same sentence? Has he honestly become so encompassed in his destiny that he had no ability to give people second chances? Mordred has done nothing wrong. And ever since he arrived in Camelot, he has not used his magic once; trusting Merlin to keep them all safe. Could he truly condemn him now? Maybe, just maybe if he tried hard, two of them could work together to restore magic peacefully to the kingdom and show Arthur it was not evil.
One, lonesome tear slid down his face as he drew in a deep, calming breath as Merlin made a decision and looked up at his friend that was watching him with certain degree of worry, curiosity and plea for answer.
"I have magic."