This is a new story that just randomly popped into my head. The idea wouldn't go away so I decided to give it a try. It might be a one-shot, but I'm not sure yet. We'll see how things go.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. All credit goes to S.E. Hinton.
Johnny's POV:
Mornings are the worst. Even before I open my eyes, I feel the guilt. The horrible, gut-wretching guilt that is starting to eat away at me. I almost wish I had died in that church fire. The gang tells me that it wasn't my fault, that it was self-defense, but I know better. I could have bluffed, told him to get away from Pony or else I'd use my knife. But I didn't. I didn't even give him a chance to walk away. I had a choice of whether or not to give him an option. The rest of the socs had a choice of whether or not to run off. But what choice did he have? None. Because I didn't give him one.
That kid had a future, and I mean a real future. Not like my future, that probably consists of being drunk all the time just like my folks. But a future that held endless possibilities and money that could take him anywhere. He was a senior in high school when I killed him. He could have gone to any college in the country, what with the money and brains he had. He could have had a successful career with a wife and kids. But he didn't get that chance either. I took that from him too.
What's even worse, I didn't serve any time for what I did. I just had to do stupid community service to pay the fine I was charged for manslaughter. The jury felt that it was self-defense too, so I got off easy. I wanted to scream. I feel like I didn't get what I rightfully deserve. They should have just fryed me in the electric chair, that way it'd be over.
His parents were at the trial. I couldn't even look in their direction. Or Cherry's for that matter. They probably hate me more than they ever thought possible. I hope they do hate me. I deserve to have their hate. I can't even imagine what school's going to be like. I have to go back today since I've already missed so much. I'll be lucky if I make it through alive. There are so many Socs at my school. They're probably going to want to do to me what I did to him. Who could blame them? I can't exactly say I would mind if they kill me.
All I have heard from anyone since it happened was that it was self-defense. Okay, okay, I know that. But the guilt still won't go away. I keep hearing that it wasn't my fault. I'm not sure if it was or not. There is one thing that no one has bothered to say to me. Just three simple words could lift a huge burden off of me. Three words. I. Forgive. You.
So...? Should I continue? Or just leave it as it is? Give me your thoughts and opinions.
Reviews? I like them a lot! :)