I Still Remember
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha
I have to call WacDonalds back for that summer job before college. I hope I get it!
Thoughts stream in and out of my mind as I walk to temple grounds. I head towards the house, but something in the corner of my eyes grinds me to a halt.
Wha…
I stare up at the God Tree, or more accurately, the scar on the Tree of Ages. The longer I stare, I more I remember of just who used to be pinned up there.
Inuyasha…
Memories from more than three years ago fly to the front of my mind and I lose my grip on reality. Everything in my world fades as I revel in my feudal memories.
I thought of you the other day
How worlds of change led us astray
Colors seem to fade to gray
In the wake of yesterday...
You looked into my eyes
You had me hypnotized
And I can still remember you
I close my eyes as let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. Even in my memories, those golden eyes still fix their trance upon me and I find myself powerless against them. I want nothing more than to see them again, to hear a harsh but well welcomed snide comment, to feel his arms slip around me as he saves me-
No! Stop there!
I shake my head vigorously and notice that something small flies off me with each turn. Confused, I bring my hand up to my face and find tears – those sneaky rascals. I smile inwardly, knowing my subconscious would betray my guard of coolness, of melancholy, and reveal how I truly feel.
I can't think about Inuyasha, I think to myself in a demanding tone. To better my chances of fulfilling the command, I turn away from the Sacred Tree of Ages and slowly walk aimlessly away from the place – not really caring just which direction I took. If I think about him – at all – then these past three years of trying to live a normal life would have been wasted. I'll just fall into a depression my family patiently hauled me out of over the first year "alone." I'll just keep longing for him to magically reappear and complain just why I haven't visited in so long.
I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and tilt my head up, willing the fresh tears to retreat. But all I see above me is the leaves and boughs of the God Tree – which brings on more memories as well as the fresh tears.
I had a dream of you and I
A thousand stars lit up the sky
I touched your hand and you were gone
But memories of you live on...
How many times have I dreamt of you, Inuyasha? Far more than the number of nights in a month per week, I find myself even daydreaming… I think that was one of the reasons the first year was hard – I always found solace in my dreams, because I knew you'd be there…
I open the doors to the well house without even realizing I was there.
But just as I'd get the courage to call your name and reach out to you, I'd wake up. I'd wake up to a world; time; reality without you and cry all over again, soaking my pillow into a soggy mess.
But just before I'd wake up, I'd call your name. You look at me as your hair flies about in an attempt to follow. Look at me with those golden eyes with an emotion only my dreams could conjure: love.
In remembrance of that fond memory, a few tears well up in my eyes to join its past brothers and sisters and trail down the sides of my face.
Inuyasha…
You looked into my eyes
You had me hypnotized
And I can still remember you
Those moments spent together
Promising forever
And I can still remember you
I grip the lip of the rotting well, holding onto it as if my life depended on it. My knees wobble and shake, the unstable sensation spreading until my entire body trembles. Unable to support myself any longer, the power behind my memories proving to be too much for me, I slump in front of the well. I rest my head against the dry wood and shake my head groggily side to side, eyes closed as tears continue to fall. I draw in a shaky breath and grit my teeth. My grip on the lip tightens until my nails dig into sponge-like wood.
Do you ever… think of me, Inuyasha? It's been three years, such long three years….
Do you ever think of me
And get lost in the memory
When you do, I hope you smile
And hold that memory a while...
I like to think that – instead of having forgotten me – Inuyasha cherishes the same memories I do. I imagine him smiling every time he thought he was alone as he let a small, sly smile slip – only to get caught by Miroku or Shippo…
That's what I like to think is happening on the other side of the well…
Every time I wake up from a blissfully long dream over-spilling with warm memories, I smile – still believing I'm in his world, but then the truth crashes onto my fragile mind and the tears pour. But when I do think of him, I'm swept along in an ocean of memories – each memory unique in and of itself. I could drown in those memories, if only to cherish them a little longer, but life has a different course for me and I'm forced to follow it.
Forced to face society.
Forced to all my cherished memories to slip through my grasping fingers if I wish to actually live the life Kami gave me.
And right now, I'm forced to forget once again the boy – no, he's probably a man now – I fell in love with so long ago.
Just as I'm about to break myself off from my breakdown – to postpone the madness until I can run into my room and bawl hopelessly all over again – a bright blue light emanates from the depths of the ancient well. I feel a slight breeze drift up the stone walls until it drifts over the lip and caresses my skin. It smells stale, yet fresh; an interesting combination that sends my hopes sky-rocketing in my heart.
Can it really be?
A hand gently touches my shoulder and I whip around to find Mama standing above me with a sad look on her face.
"Mama?" I ask, I hadn't even heard her come in…
"Kagome… I want whatever will make you happy," she says in the calmest of tones.
I stare at her, wide-eyed and unable to speak properly.
"B-but Mama! Wha-"
She hushes my by placing a finger against my lips, pursed in confusion.
In a hushed whisper, she leans down to say softly in the shell of my ear, "Go… I know that's what your heart needs…"
I lean back to find her smiling at me.
Mama… thank you so much!
With one last smile, one last hug, I stand and jump into the well.
Tears – now happy little devils– fly out of the sides of my eyes as I travel through time and space to back to the place I know I was born to be:
By Inuyasha's side.
A/n: Yeah, I know: a tad fluffy at the end, but I was planning on ending it at the "could it be?" line – but it didn't satisfy my, so I knew it wouldn't satisfy y'all.
This is such as sweet song; I hope those who read this will at least try to listen to it on youtube!
Oh! And if you see any mistakes and/or want to suggest some stuff to insert – let me know! I've had this on my computer for over a month and I'm sick of it not being finished – so sorry if it seemed rushed at the end…
X33
Till next time!