There was once a girl.
She was like, totally beautiful and stuff. Flowing locks and shit. Prettiest gurl ever. People loved her. Why? Because she was beautiful. The world is narcisstic and horrible. You should all know this. Beauty and money is all that matters. Terrible, I know, but that is just how shit is. Unless you're from the Aztec Empire. They sacrificed pretty people to the gods all the time. Anytime you're down about your appearance think about that. You're welcome.
Anyway, her name was Estebanita Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez. She was perfect. She was Spanish but somehow came to Hogwarts anyways because her family was super important or something. I don't know. Her background's shifty. But nobody seems to mind or pay any attention because she was hot. And a genius.
She, like, aced all of her courses and could have graduated Hogwarts after her first year but decided not to because she loved her friends that she made and decided to stay with them. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were her besties, with like Draco and all the boys in love with her and girls who all thought she was the coolest person ever. (Gag me.)
She defeated Voldemort like all the time easily with Harry because turns out there was another prophecy with her as the real savoir of the Wizarding World. Wow. How surprising.
So she defeated him in her, like, second year and lived on happily ever after with Harry, still being beautiful in middle age with her four kids (Lorenzo, Esteban, Gloria, and Harry Jr.) and everyone was fucking happy.
The end.
And then they were all killed by a new dark lord and everyone realized 'wow Estebanita was such a dick'.
Idk. I really don't know. And yes. Hell yes. The name is from SLOZ&C. You're welcome.
Mary-sue thing for giant millionaire comp.
I don't own HP.