A.N.: Some of you might already know this story – I'd already posted it…And it had been removed. I wasn't all too happy about that. What I wanted to say is that I – in my opinion – have rated it correctly; but if the site's managers don´t think so, it's just bad luck for me.
I especially want to thank Lipgloss, who has already reviewed this story. Thank you for having been so quick! I knew that at least one person had read my story before it was removed. LOL!
Also thank you to my fabulous reviewers Tinkerellabelle, Coco-Pop, Emma-Lynn, Lipgloss, greenleafchic 127, Ginny PoshSpice, Marx, PandylBas, and uwmat2bm for reviewing my stories Said Something, Contracted and With a Little Help. All of you made me dazzlingly happy.
These things by CreamTea
I never really had these problems. I was beyond them. But I never thought that I'd always be. I was prepared. I had made my plans long ago: List a : What to do against love-sickness; b: How to not display affections in public; c: Methods against sadness after the break up. I calculated that I was not to have more than ten "lovely" relationships in my life; otherwise, or so statistics about how people think about other people told me, I would have been a slut. I never measured my values on those of the guys who were the same age I was – but on those of the older, wiser, more educated ones: they told me that clothes and make-up didn't count, that all that mattered were knowledge, education, and good behaviour. I was beyond the 16-year-olds when I was sixteen. I was better than them – always. I didn't care whether I was better then the older ones, I just wanted to be better than them.
I agreed with myself that I was to attend at least three "dates" and one serious relation ship in life, and the latter one should, when possible, lead to marriage – A house on the south side of London; not too far away from the centre so that there were opportunities to flee, if necessary, two children, and one white car, if possible Mercedes. My husband would have a practical mind, not too sensitive, and as my parents have always relied o the theory of "opposites attract" I knew what I was to get: That's how Ronald Weasley was brought into the plan. I did think about everything, noted every boy, checked them and came to the conclusion that starting a relationship with Ronald would be the fastest way to a guaranteed, safe, and stable family. So when I told myself that seventeen, after school of course, was the right age to start it, I had to learn to seduce him. I don´t know why – but it seemed very important to him then – I don´t know why most humans still need the primitive and unnecessary event of "balzing".
I never explained to him why I was doing this, what my reasons were, but after some years of peaceful marriage he seemed to get suspicious. I didn't know why, though, I told him I loved him once a day, had been having sex in the first three years once a week, in the fourth twice a month, and still he did seem somewhat frustrated. Well, I didn't know back then. It was only in the ninth year of our marriage that he told me he'd been having a girlfriend for almost two years and whether I hadn't noticed, that I found out. I – as I had written in my list d: Marriage problems in the section: cheating – slapped his left cheek, then sobbed to for a quarter of an hour, asked him why in the next quarter and got everything straight in the remaining half an hour. I'd promised myself to solve any kind of cheating problems in an hour's time. As I planned to do, I forgave him. I didn't think that any girlfriend, as many as there would be, would disturb my living.
I lived my whole life pretending I was interested in this – but I truly wasn't. Anyways, after some unpleasurable experiences after I explained some of my early childhood friends my outlook on live – which I held since I can remember, I came to the point where I noted that more people reacted negatively than positively and eventually decided that me telling them was against mathematical logic and the system of majority and minority so I gave up on it. I think that Ronald still thinks that I love him. In some way. But I never loved. Not really. I didn't even like or dislike; if you center your life more or less around you it's hard to. I think I started my logical life after I experienced that love didn't count in life. All that counted were education, knowledge and ability. If you were able to live where I have lived, you would know what I mean. If you didn't put logic above everything else, you would go mad. As my mum did. Who nearly killed herself. As my aunt did. Who killed her violent husband. I am not mad. I arranged my life. I got out of all this bullshit after the letter form Hogwarts arrived. I studied and studied and studied and swore that nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever keep me from fulfilling my aims.
My parents liked to show off as the perfect dentist couple in public. They weren't. They never were. They were a fucking hitting drowning pair of sellers in a supermarket. They barely lost three words about their life and living standards in front of my wizarding friends, "We are dentists." I lost none. I only ever remember talking about a holiday-residence in France, which didn't even exist. I thought it would be good for my "girl from nice and proper family" image. Even as a child I knew that one is the most successful in job-live with an image like that.
In the early days of my youth I even caught myself wondering whether somebody would ever be able to rip me off my point of view. But, after nothing happened – ever – I came to the conclusion that nobody was. I even expected Ronald Weasley to be able to back then - after all, in the books the wise and old ones have written, love is to conquer everything else. Just one thing: It isn't . There is only one thing I know that is able to turn your life around completely: Hate. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm slightly little disillusioned, but maybe this really is the truth. All I know is that I still sincerely hope it isn't.
A.N.: I hope that you're patient and – if you've already read it, re-read it, or leave a review for me. I'd really like to know what you think about this. Yours, CreamTea