In the end, she never knew how much she had cherished him. Not romantically, but as a close friend. An assistant, a confidant and someone she could trust with the most important of secrets she'd found out about the Titans. Someone who would always be watching her back in something risky.
The hole she hadn't even noticed being filled was suddenly very empty when she walked those streets alone. Not having someone shout at her to stay back made it seem…Weird. Abnormal.

In the aftermath of a Titan attack, she'd not realised Moblit had gone missing. It was only now, as she was walking down an utterly decimated street by herself, the sound of other members of the Scouting Legion in the distance, that it really became apparent, because any other time he would have stuck to her like glue. Shouting warnings, telling her to keep back and pulling her out of the way of jaws that clamped down in the spaces she'd been moments earlier.
She'd gone along as she always had, dispatching whatever Titan tried to eat her, making every attempt to communicate. And when there were no more Titan's left bar a couple that they had captured, well…

That's when the gap where Moblit had been presented itself. When she'd gathered her squad together and realised that the man who would have been at her side the first moment wasn't there.
"Moblit?" she'd called, looking around, confused more than worried at this point. "Has anyone seen Moblit?"

And no one had. No one had seen him, which was worse than perhaps seeing him die. He could be alive and in horrible agony. It didn't work for Hanji to imagine this- she simply couldn't, like trying to imagine a sheep flying.
Everyone was clearing bodies now, or getting rest, or simply drinking themselves into memory loss. Apart from Hanji- she was walking the streets, under the guise of supervision of the cleanup operation. It wasn't hard to tell it was a front for what she was really doing- looking for someone missing- but no one stopped her. The look on her face spoke it clean enough.

She turned the corner from one quiet, empty street to another. The almost crumbled body of a 5m-class Titan gently steaming, slumped against a house. Recently killed, but that wasn't surprising. In some areas of the city there were still one or two left, mostly the smaller ones who could evade detection easier.
She didn't have time to admire its huge, grotesque proportions like she usually would. She scanned the street, and that's when she heard the voice. Soft. Pleading.

"Squad Leader…" it whispered, in a croak no louder than a gasp. "Squad Leader Hanji… Zoe…"
She turned at the use of the name few other people used, and her eyes fell upon him.

Moblit.

Propped up against a wall, slumped, face ashen. His left leg twisted at an unbelievable angle and his left arm completely missing, a large chunk of his torso missing too. Hanji froze, before emptying the contents of her stomach on the ground in a response that was more out of horror as to who it was rather than what had happened to them. Breath coming in ragged gasps as she fought to recover, she ignored the vile taste of bile on her tongue and staggeringly made her way over to the fallen body of Moblit. His eyes flicked to her dumbly as she crouched next to him, her face disbelieving.

"Moblit…?" she managed, as if she needed clarification that it was him. Her hands found his instinctively. They were caked in blood, and she could hear that his breathing was weak and ragged. "Moblit…"

"Zoe." He mumbled, every word an effort to force a tongue that felt like lead into the shapes of words. "Squad Leader…I'm sorry…"

She bit her lip, shaking her head.
"You've done nothing wrong. You offered your heart for humanity. You did your duty." She whispered shakily, but he ignored her, a small twitch of his head indicating he was shaking it.

"I am…sorry for leaving you…like this." He whispered, looking at her with sad eyes. "And for not… not…"

She clutched at his hand harder, heart in her mouth and her pulse beating in her ears.
"Not what, Moblit?" Hanji replied, feeling, for the first time in a long time, tears welling up in her eyes. It had been a long time since she'd mourned someone's death by crying. Or even cried at all. Part of her wanted to pretend that Moblit still had a chance to survive, but it was impossible. It was impossible to believe that.

"Sorry for not…" he stopped as his lungs tried to take a greater gulp of air, his hand shaking in Hanji's "Sorry for not…telling you… that I love you…sooner."
His face muscles twitched into a small, relaxed smile, like he was finally at peace with himself. Hanji's throat went tight- it was obvious now. It was so obvious, and she hadn't known until now. She sat there, paralysed with grief and regret, whilst he continued quietly.
"And I'm sorry for dying." He mumbled, his face still relaxed and happy now, although seemingly apologetic that death would inconvenience him in his mission to always assist her. "I'm glad… I helped you…Zoe…"

Hanji felt wetness on her cheeks and gasped a little as a sob forced its way up her throat. She watched as his breathing got slower, her hands grabbing onto his desperately, nails making white marks into the already pale skin, as if she thought that grabbing his hand even tighter would keep him with her in this life. She needed this man, she needed him next to her, pulling her back and scolding her and protecting her and-
And she watched as the final light in his already dull eyes faded. The tears that had been spilling over came without holding back as Squad Leader Hanji held tightly onto her loyal Moblit's hand.

I am so sorry.