High school relationship drama. Because it happens to everyone.

Nobody ever uses Kelly. She's kind of a blank face, so I'll do what I want with her. Don't hate.

I hate seeing them together. It makes me absolutely fucking sick. The way he looks at her and follows her everywhere is revolting in the worst way.

He's a flirt. He's a total flirt; a pervert; a romantic. He knows what to say and what to do; how to say it and how to do it. And he's been with her forever, treating her like a queen, especially when she doesn't deserve it. It's been going on for months. Nine months and counting, and I don't know how he can fucking stand it.

It isn't like she's anything special. Her body is average and her personality is an irritating combination of immaturity, insecurity, and neediness. He wants someone to obsess over, and she wants to be the object of such affection. They reciprocate eachother, and that is very dangerous.

She's his first priority, in that he's willing to ditch all of his friends to spend some alone time with her. It isn't as if he doesn't get enough of that already – they've got all their classes together and he sees her every day after school. It doesn't matter how little I get to see him these days. Really, it doesn't, because whenever there's an opportunity for us to catch up, he's off chasing her.

You should never consider someone a priority if they only consider you an option.

And that's just what he is to her; an option. It's fucking ridiculous, because she has this separate group of friends that he absolutely loathes, but he'll choose that over playing video games with me, Stan, and Cartman. Whenever she has a bad week, she dumps him on his ass and he runs to either me or Butters for moral support.

She'll get him into trouble, she'll lie to him, she'll cheat on him and go to all lengths to make him angry because she thinks it's fun. Fun. She complains when he does anything even to slightly hint that he isn't entirely loyal to her, and they're arguing once a week.

And he'll come to my house, or he'll call me on the phone.

"Kyle, I fucking hate her. She's such a bitch!" He'll tell me.

And I'll say, "That's what you said a few days ago. Those feelings won't last."

"No, I mean it this time." He'll reassure me. "We're actually fucking through."

In the beginning, I actually believed him. I believed that he was done putting up with her bullshit, that he might have just a fucking ounce of self respect and get his life back. But he never did. As soon as she decided that she missed his undivided attention, he accepted her back in a heartbeat.

"She's just so adorable," He's told me, the first few times I questioned him. I would just shrug.

Sure, she's pretty. Big blue eyes and shiny, delicately curled blonde hair. But she's very generic looking, and although I'm not really into girls, even I can deduct that her body is hideous – minimal curves and thick legs with a small chest. Straight blue jeans and a medium sized sweater, Ugg boots. Every day.

And somehow, he fell for that. Sometimes he'd come into homeroom looking exhausted, and Stan would ask why he didn't sleep the night before.

"Talked to Kelly until four in the morning last night," He explained before practically passing out on his desk.

During one of his outlandishly frequent fights with her, I asked what they talked about during their late phone calls.

"Nothing, really. Sometimes I'd say something and she'd get quiet and I'd just try to get her to talk. She isn't much of a talker, actually."

Right, she just pulls him in for a kiss and sucks his dick in the back of his truck. I would know; he tells me about it often enough.

Last week, they got into a big argument. Like, really big, by her locker. Everyone stared as they walked past, and they even skipped class to fight. It lead, somehow, to Kenny being hit and kicked as a result of Kelly's rage, so he grabbed her arms to make her stop. She let go and he threw her books to the ground.

She went to the principal about it. I think she tried to get him suspended, I don't know. But she threw the first punch, so going to the authorities about it was completely unjustified.

Kenny was really mad. He ranted about her for days and called her every name imaginable, and then some. Again, I told him that he'd be over it as soon as she was ready to take him back. This time, I was wrong. Sort of.

They were fine three days later, and he was back to talking to her and hugging with her and sitting close to her. Ignoring the rest of us just to talk to her. The usual. But after school, he approached me and just said, "I'm not dating her."

"You might as well be," I retorted.

And he continued to 'not date' her. He began flirting with me. Me, of all people. The person he ignored when Kelly was available. I've told him to stop, and teased him about Kelly not liking the way he tried to hold my hand.

"I'm not dating her!"

"Right, you're 'not dating her' unless she's around. Then you act like you are."

"I'm not," He promised. "I'll prove it to you."

I told him that she was his top priority, that he was a great friend until he caught a glimpse of her and sprinted after her – with Kelly present, it was as if nothing (and nobody) else mattered.

"Fine, I'll stop." He stated, as if it was that simple.

It wasn't.

He told me he'd spend more time with me – with the rest of us – again, since the girl he wasn't even going out with seemed to be of higher importance to him than anybody else was. And I believed him, again.

Of course, nothing changed.

And he still has no excuse.

Angst. Angst. Angst.

I've never done K2 before. I was afraid of butchering it.

But I'm taking risks, because you only live once.