It was both the sexiest and most disgusting thing that Kurt had ever seen. How Finn had talked him into doing this was beyond belief. But he blamed Rachel. It was all Rachel's fault that he was watching Finn stuff a jelly filled doughnut in his face in fifteen seconds. His heart was torn as to how much he should really be loving this.
"A hourmah revomism soabadapas."
"Chew before you swallow man." Puck spoke out as he chuckled.
Kurt's voice was tense with just a hint of a quiver. "You're sure this is safe, right?"
"You worry to much, Hummel. I bet..."
Everything stopped as a door opened to the back of the bakery. Kurt felt Finn's hand yank him hard behind a large stack of donuts. Finn was still chewing, but almost choking as he tried to swallow quickly. His chin was thick with a beard of glaze that not even Kurt had the stomach to lick off.
The random employee at this particular Sacramento Krispy Kreme, all the way on the other side of the country from Lima at Glee Club Nationals this year, stuck his body half out the side door, expecting to see somebody. He was sorely disappointed that he did not and merely shut the door behind him.
Finn nodded at Kurt and Kurt moved out from behind the stack of day-old doughnuts. Puck smiled with that twisted wolf smile of his that usually meant trouble, although it currently looked very satisfied. "That was great!"
"Wouldn't have been so great if we'd been caught." Finn choked out amazingly with a throat coated in crammed down doughnut.
"Where was Mike? Wasn't he supposed to warn us when someone was coming?"
Puck moved over to where Finn was, snatching a chocolate frosted doughnut from the box that Finn had opened. Puck didn't acknowledge much superiority, except that Finn seemed to have quality knack for finding the right donut box. "This really is your first dumpster dive, isn't it Hummel? Alright Chief, three more boxes and lets head out."
Finn shook his head. "I really hate when you call me that."
Kurt's left hand rested on his hip. "Oh sure, keep me from bringing wigs, but let him give everybody code names..."
Kurt was caught by surprise when Puck hefted a box of donuts into his free hand. "Here, Tinkerbell. Lets get you back to Neverland."
Finn was about to make a remark, but then shut his mouth quickly. It wasn't exactly an inaccurate code name for Kurt. They had been sharing favorite Disney movies and Kurt had mentioned that Peter Pan was his favorite. All in all, Kurt seemed to take the name in stride. He even made a show of pulling out in front of Finn on the way back to the car so that Finn wouldn't see his wide, almost frightened eyes and maybe would see his very tight black jeans. Not that Finn ever looked. He really didn't.
Puck had taken captain's chair on the way back since he was the one in charge of the GPS system that Mr. Schuester had insisted at least two people bring in case they got lost in Sacramento, although this probably was not the reason he had meant it for.
It was a silent ride, all the boys of Glee sans Artie, piled into Puck's beat up red Ford. They were even more silent as they made their way back to the hotel, coasting back into the same parking spot they had left in so that they didn't wake Mr. Schuester, who should have been by all rights, asleep like they should have been.
The clerk merely looked up with the quirk of his eyebrow as a gaggle of teenage boys bolted through the lobby with a variety of Krispy Kreme boxes. Shrugging, he returned to his keyboard and thought about how strange teenagers really were.
"Thank God, we thought you'd been caught," Mercedes exclaimed as they entered the first of two adjacent boys room where all the Glee kids were hanging out, regardless of curfew. I mean, one of the girls was already pregnant, what exactly did people expect to happen during the tense, long nights waiting to perform at Nationals?
Puck shot a look at Matt. "We almost were."
Matt raised his arms in defense while Puck poked him in his chest with the corner of a box.
"Don't ruin any of the donuts," Quinn stated dryly as she got up from her chair and her Diet Coke to grab the box. "I swear to God, you're just like a bull in a china shop."
Puck's voice purred with sexual innuendo. "Am I making you see red, is that what you're saying?"
The room was icy for a moment before Quinn merely shook her head and made her whatever face. The other two of the three boxes were deposited on one of the beds scattered throughout the two open rooms.
Rachel put her hands out. "Okay, before we divide up the spoils, remember the rules. If you didn't get a picture, it doesn't count on the dare board."
Kurt reached into his back pocket for his cell phone, handing it off to Rachel. "Oh, trust me. We got pictures."
Rachel flipped through the four shots while a variety of eyes peered over her shoulders, something that made her uncomfortable, at least she wasn't trying to read again, but she didn't say anything. Technically, she should have said something the moment this whole midnight dare board thing started, but it was for the benefit of team cohesion and they needed all of that they could get.
"That reminds me, I have about a gallon of icing to wash off my face from that jelly filled. Such an amateur mistake." Finn shook his head as he clicked the light on in the bathroom and let the cold water start to run across his mouth.
"Okay, well," Rachel continued as she went over the dare board taped against the wall, "that concludes the two guy squares on the left." She made a pink X with one of Santana's old lipsticks, and smiled. "And the boys are..."
"We're doing the wheelie pops tomorrow at dawn, before Mr. Schue gets up," stated Artie matter-of-factly.
Rachel bit down on her lower lip. "That'll make the dare board even. We've got the mystery square in the morning which I'm going to attempt..."
Quinn had taken it upon herself to start eating one of the donuts in the open box on the table. Kurt and Mercedes had saluted Quinn with their two jelly donuts and she had smiled in return. Between bites, she spoke in Rachel's direction. "It's okay, Rach. We're not in a hurry. We don't even perform until the last day. Let's just rest up."
Rachel nodded as Finn exited the bathroom but pushed away the donut box that Brittany slid toward him. "No thanks. I gotta let the other one digest."
Quinn peered into her box and then across the way. "Well, we've got two chocolates left in those two boxes. Anyone interested in splitting this one?"
Rachel raised her hand. "Sounds good. The other box looks like its all original glazed. But that seems like an awful lot of doughnut to eat, Quinn."
"I know." Quinn's eyes sparkled, as though she were exacting revenge on Coach Sylvester personally. "I never could have eaten like this in the Cheerios and I intend to enjoy it fully."
Brittany and Santana looked at each other and spoke in unison. "Celery smoothies."
Puck made a face, with Matt and Mike echoing that in the background. "That must be where Tanaka got his celery protein powder idea."
Kurt's eyes went wide. "Thank God I missed that."
Finn nodded. "You also missed the protein powder and Gatorade phase."
"Small miracles," Kurt chuckled in return.
Artie pointed a finger in the air, without missing a beat. "I am of the opinion that food was never meant to be in powdered form. Celery in particular. Celery is only good on..."
"Peanut butter, dipped straight from the jar," Tina smiled.
Brittany got up with the half empty box of plain glazed and walked over to where Tina and Artie were trying to school each other at War. "So, who's winning?"
"I am. I am. He is. She is." Tina and Artie laughed in unison and then Artie spoke on his own. "Apparently, neither of us are winning. Thanks for the doughnut. You know whats better than a plain glazed donut?"
"Hmmm?" Brittany wondered.
Artie pointed in Tina's direction. "Those almond cookies your mom made for Chinese New Year a couple of years back."
Tina nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah, but you weren't in the kitchen while she was trying to make the first batch from scratch. It was not pretty."
"Worth it, though."
"Love those almond cookies, girl!" Mercedes exclaimed with her two cents.
Rachel nodded. "Okay, well, if everyone has had their fill of donut-palooza, lets reconvene for Great America early in the morning where I will attempt the mystery stunt and bring absolute victory for the girls in Glee."
Quinn rolled her eyes. "We really need to get you a backing soundtrack."
Kurt pulled his glittering white iPod out of his other back pocket. "I think I can whip something up real quick."
Now, there are times in Rachel's life where she questions her motivations to do things. Turning in Sandy Rhyerson is not one of them. Joining AASU is. But Rachel does not care to digress. No, there are a lot of things Rachel does not care to do.
"You sure this is safe?" Rachel squeaks out with her eyes pointed hellishly high at this giant platter things with screaming kids on board.
Finn, as always, is there to be her comfort and it works for about a minute, before the ride starts to plummet back down to earth. "Totally, Rachel. Its the safest ride in the park. Look, you don't even go upside down."
"No," Puck retorts in his own playfully menacing tone, " it just drops you from a height of over five stories with nothing to keep you from being squished but a bucket seat and a prayer."
"As if," Quinn interjects, not wanting to lose this little game to Puck. Kurt comes back over with Mercedes and two cherry shaved icees as Quinn continues, "Finn's totally right. Its one of the safest in the park. Braking mechanisms are spot-on, checked every morning."
Mercedes chips in as well, causing everyone to turn and look. "Yeah! And the specialized magnets give you that Superman weightlessness without the danger of parachuting. Daddy is a coaster enthusiast from way back."
"Okay, I think I can do this," Rachel's voice seems to be about half-strength, which actually matches the shaking in her knees, until she feels a friendly hand in hers.
"I'll go with you! I love Dead Man's Drop!" Brittany chirps.
"Now I know thats cheating," Puck growls, but nearly everyone gives him a dirty look and he looks wounded, to say the least. "Okay, okay, its not cheating."
Brittany takes Rachel's left hand and start to pull her in the amazingly short line for the ride. "Any hints?"
"Pick a point on the horizon," Brittany shrugs, "I think its just something you either like or you really don't. But hey! When else are you gonna have the chance to show up all the boys at once? I know Finn'll be pretty impressed."
Rachel is stunned at Brittany's candor. "Thanks, Brittany."
Brittany shrugs. "No big. Two please!"
Brittany holds Rachel's hand as the ride shoots up slowly. Rachel tries not to squeeze to hard, tries not to look for Finn in the crowd or in any general down direction. She's pretty much not okay with how high her feet are off the ground. The last time she had ever been off the ground was two feet on a wire the year she played Peter Pan and, as she recalled, she didn't much care for that either. The actress trying to stumble through as Wendy had been atrocious and flighty.
"You doing okay?" Brittany smiled sweetly, speaking low since no machinery seemed to be whirring at the moment. "Just find a cloud you like or something."
Rachel nodded slowly. "Oh, that one over there looks like a rab..."
Rachel doesn't remember if she screamed as loudly as Brittany on the way down or if she was too scared to scream at all. All she knew is that her heart was pounding and she felt flush at the end of the experience. Brittany followed right behind as Rachel returned to the group.
"Well Berry, how'd that feel?"
"It felt like I was really Defying Gravity," Rachel chirped.
