Summary: Naruto, Sai and Sakura unsuspectingly drink a gender-bending potion! Chaos and hilarity ensue, no doubt, as Naruto experiments with his ginormous new boobs, Sai finally gets some attention, and Sakura unwittingly grabs Uchiha Sasuke's attention. UNKNOWN PAIRING!
Author's Note: I'm finally on break from the most hectic year in college ever and, just as I was about to sit down and continue my fanfic Leashed, my brain got all jumbled up and decided to go all ADHD on me. So, yeah. These are the results of too much Cartoon Network Fusion Fall (don't judge me!)
Oh, btw: when I stated unknown pairing, I mean to say I have neither decided on, nor am I sure I ever WILL decide on, a specific pairing. This story focuses on all Naruto, Sai AND Sakura – not Sakura Haruno alone – but I chose Sakura as the main character because, one, I happen to love Sakura-chan and, two, this story was originally inspired by my Sakura-chan blog (which you may check out on my profile)
Anyhoo, please enjoy and review! :)
Not So Typical Gender-Bending
Chapter I: Of Intros and Outros
"GET OUT HERE, SAI, YOU MANGY IMBICILE!"
By the sound of his teammate's voice blaring from the other side of his apartment door, Sai could tell that someone was going to get hurt real bad – and by someone he meant himself because, no doubt, Haruno Sakura didn't often bang on his building with the blazing intent that blood was to be shed. Blood most undeniably not her own, might he add.
"Sai, if you don't get out of there RIGHT NOW, I will tear your entire HOUSE down by myself and mop your ruined floor WITH YOUR FACE!"
The emphasis of mopping Sai's own apartment floor with his own face made the nineteen-year-old ex-ANBU operative flinch in uncharacteristic display of fear. While Sakura herself was not exactly Kyuubi-container material, Sai most certainly did not underestimate her capability to mop floors with faces. After all, he had seen her do it. Twice.
"SAI, I give you 10 seconds – 10!"
The very nerve! Giving him 10 seconds to scamper frightfully out of his own apartment complex like a sissy.
Oh, wait.
Sai paused for a second, giving his chest a quick glance and recalling that, for the time being, he was quite the sissy himself.
"NINE!"
Like wicked curses, the mounds of flesh that now donned the area where his normally flat and chiselled chest used to be seemed to sing mockeries to Sai's face. If it wasn't for them (the mounds of flesh, he meant), Sai most certainly wouldn't be in this situation right now! Running like a coward from a teammate who was obviously the lesser strength than he was.
But no. No, come to think of it, not anymore.
"EIGHT!"
Haruno Sakura's voice had always had a rather masculine tone to it. It was one of the many reasons why he chose to point out to her – on many occasions – the fact that she was so gosh darn unfeminine, after all. But today, the voice donned by Haruno Sakura was a tad...
"SEVEN!"
...worst.
Okay, scratch that.
Rather than simply being a girl with a manly aura, an unattractive boyish figure, a bad, triangular, male-like haircut and her obviously mannish battle technique – her all out brute strength – Haruno Sakura was, today, a full on male herself.
"SIX."
Period. Or, rather, no period, since she was a boy and boys did not have periods and had penises instead.
"FIVE."
Come to think of it, Sai wondered how large a penis Sakura had in her male body at the moment.
"FOUR."
It couldn't possibly be smaller than Naruto's.
"THREE."
...Could it?
"TWO."
Hmm. It is probably best not to think about the size of Sakura's penis in comparison to Naruto's own at a time like this, thought Sai, full-heartedly, after a quick ponder.
"ONE."
In fact, it is probably best that the story begin from, well, the very beginning.
It was a blazing hot day. The intensity of the sun's heat seemed to seep into the very earth, baking it to a crisp. It was so hot in fact, that as a means to provide further emphasis to this particularly hot weather, may it now be known that there were no clouds in the sky, most people were indoors, ice melted at the very sight of the sun, and everybody who stood outside without their sunblocks on returned home with lobster red skin and a seriously bad sunburn.
Everybody except Team 7, that is.
Team 7. Aah, the introduction section of this fanfiction.
Team 7 consisted of several souls – team leader Hatake Kakashi (ex sempai, now God-knows what relationship the rest of the team have with him), Uzumaki Naruto (main-character extraordinaire), Haruno Sakura (main-female character extraordinaire. Often portrayed as a tsundere in fanfictions such as this one) and Uchiha Sasuke (emo-bad-boy. That is all).
But Sasuke left light years ago so, instead, we have Sai.
Sai. What is there to know about Sai?
Aside from the typical melancholic anime background story that almost every character (except Sakura) seems to have, Sai is basically your average Joe. He has decent hair, the palest of pale skin, and an outfit that necessarily shows off his bellybutton. We don't know why, but it's supposed to be cute or something, so let's go with that.
Now, speaking of Sai, in this particular fanfiction in which Sai seems to be introduced as the main-character alongside Tsundere!Sakura, we now see said Sai appearing before his exhausted teammates with an interesting-looking bottle in his hands.
"What's that Sai, hmm, booze, 'tebayo?" asked Naruto, the main-character of the popular Naruto anime and manga series. "You smuggling booze from us, Sai?"
Kakashi rolled his eyes (eye) and decided that right now – the very moment something interesting was about to happen – was the right time to make up some lousy excuse to take his leave. To illustrate: "Kids," started Kakashi, getting to his feet and stuffing his porn into his back pocket as was his usual gesture of disappearing just as things were about to get interesting. "I've gotta go. Ciao!"
"Wait, what, no excuse this time?" piped up Naruto, stricken-back by Kakashi's straight-forward manner of taking his leave.
Said Kakashi shrugged, his eye as droopy and uninterested in the surroundings as ever. "You guys are big enough," he stated, matter-of-factly. "Nineteen, in fact, in this fanfiction. Practically grown up enough to get hitched with some random Akatsuki member that you've never met before –," cue pointed glance at Sakura who seemed a little uneasy by the sudden choice of direction Kakashi was taking. "—I think you're smart enough to know when a plot twist is about to occur and my presence isn't needed here, right? So, yeah. Imma leave you guys. Bye!"
POOF. Kakashi was gone.
With a shrug of his own, Naruto turned to Sai. "Anyway, back to the booze. You gonna share it with us, buddy?"
So excited was Sai to be in the spotlight for once and to be acknowledged as a buddy of the main character of the anime series for the first time instead of that bratty Uchiha, that Sai immediately nodded, handing said 'booze' around for the rest of his teammates to share.
"Hmm, I don't know, Naruto," started Sakura, doubtful of the unnatural scent that wafted out of said bottle that Sai had now passed to her. "It smells pretty fishy. And, besides, it's practically 2pm in the afternoon – is it appropriate that we consume alcohol at this hour?"
"OF COURSE IT IS, Sakura-chan!" exclaimed Naruto, bright and cheerful and just about ready to gulp down his half of the liquid. "Anytime is good for booze. BESIDES, you're practically immune to being drunk, anyway, what's a little alcohol gonna kill you?"
Sakura pondered this rather rare display of brilliance that Naruto was giving her and, shrugging her antsy conscience aside, thought, heck, why not? Naruto was right. Being a tsundere and Tsunade's apprentice and all gave her access to all sorts of special abilities that normal teenage girl ninjas didn't have, so why not appreciate what was given to her and live in the present?
Lifting up her glass (which appeared from her backpack because Sakura was the type to randomly bring glasses around for occasions such as this one) to meet both Naruto and Sai's own glasses in the air, the remaining three members of Team 7 happily exclaimed, "Cheers!" before swinging down the 'booze' in a single go.
And, so, the havoc began.
Author's Note: I originally wanted to make a comic series out of this but thought, nahh, too time-consuming (not that I'm busy, but still!). This story was fun to write! Despite my author's block and everything (by author's block I am referring to the author's block that persists everytime I try to start on Leashed), I greatly enjoyed doing this and, in fact, managed to do so with ease.
Please review. I'm expecting quite a number before I choose to update (coz I'm a lazy sonofa like that). Thank you! :)
Oh, and, PS: if you have any ideas for a pairing, please don't hesitate to share. I myself haven't decided on any but, as we proceed with the later chapters, I guess we'll have to see about that, now, don't we?