Crimson Lines

A tear rolled down Eren's pale cheek landed on the cherry coloured lines that were the remains of his wrist. Trembling in fear of his own thoughts he raised the shattered piece of mirror that reflected his malnourished and broken image. The darkness poisoning his once innocent thoughts and twisting them into something of a nightmare sending him deeper into the abyss of his of his mind. He lowered the blade, gently slicing the surface, a constellation of scarlet droplets forming a thin line on his pallid skin. Not deep enough, he thought, not for a monster like me.

Once again he lifted the mirror.

This is for being a monster.

He struck down.

This is for being useless.

He struck down again.

This is for not being good enough and leaving my mother, my squad and hundreds of innocent people to die the most undignified and painful death.

His grip tightened around the mirror shard, creating a stream of blood dripping down his arm. Eren let out a gasp and instantly covered his mouth, dropping the shard on the floor.

Why did I do that? People will most definitely hear that. Why am I so stupid? They're right, I'm just a stupid 15year old who he thinks he's the hero of the day with the ego as big as a titan. Shit, I could wake someone up. People are either sleeping or blaming themselves for what happened. Even worse, Levi could wake up. What would he think if he saw mw like this?

Eren slowly lowered his hand away from his mouth and gazed down at himself. I'm just a bucket of blood and disappointment. He clenched his fists and buried his head in between his legs. It was never supposed to be like this. Never.

Suddenly Eren's body froze. The sound of footsteps getting nearer were the only thing he could hear. He wanted to get up and hide but his body wasn't allowing it. Oh god no, why now, why me? A few tears escaped from the corners of his eyes as he curled himself up into a ball, hoping the person would just leave him alone. The door slowly creaked open and a glimmer of light coming from a lantern illuminated the silver eyes of a familiar face. Eren slowly opened one of his eyes and caught a glimpse of the person standing at the door.

"Eren, what the fu-" as Levi took a step closer, his lantern shone upon Eren and pool of blood surrounding him. It stayed like that for a while before Eren couldn't keep it in. Eren let out a cry and sobbed as he stayed there hugging his knees.

Why am I crying now? This is mortifing.

Levi took a few steps back in surprise before putting his lantern down and slowly making his way towards Eren.

"What's wrong, Jager?" Levi placed his hand onto Eren's shoulder. No reply. Levi let out a sigh before saying, "Look at me, brat, it's like 3 in the morning and you've woken me up and made me concerned, so if I were you I'd look up and tell me what's wrong."

He's got a point, I shouldn't be so selfish. Eren lifted his head up and just when he was going to look into those perfect eyes that Eren had grown to love, Levi's hands cupped his face and wiped away his tears.

"Now listen up, Eren, you're gonna promise me that you'll never do this again? No 'but's', you do not deserve to this to yourself."

What is he saying? What does that mean? Does he care for me as much I do for him? That's insane. I can't help to notice how close we are now, or how I've calmed down to the sound of his voice.

Subconciously, Eren put his hands on top of Levi's that were still holding onto Eren's face.

I can see him perfectly in this cracked darkness.