This is a fic that's inspired by a dream of mine (the first bit in the woods) ..
I wanted to remember it, because it had a very special feeling to it. So I wrote this fic.
Hope you like it (:
//Maria
The Kiss
I could hear the leaves crushing under his feet, though he looked too gracefull to have enough weight in his steps to crush anything. I glanced at him quickly and smiled at him, as he looked up at me, too. Then we ran. Around random trees. Laughing. We weren't doing anything special, I don't think any of us knew, what we where doing. He hid being a tree and then stuck his head out so I could see him again; he roared and made a face. I laughed. I don't know what made this childish behaviour sneak in on us and wrap us tight in its grip, but we sure enjoyed it. After a while, I layed down in the leaves. They made a crushing sound as I layed upon them. I watched him while he got closer and layed down beside me. I didn't know why, though. I hadn't asked him to. He sat up and layed his hand on my stomach. We made eyecontact and I smiled at him. He smiled back and the cutest little wrinkles by his eyes appeared. I loved when he smiled like that. Suddenly it seemed that something occurred to him after a couple of minutes of us, just staring at each other, me hoping for all kinds of actions but one in particular. He looked away and moved his lips like he was discussing something with himself. I just stared at his face and smiled. I just waited for him to kiss me; I could already feel it happening. My first kiss. I tried to prepare myself and yet I knew that I wasn't going to be prepared when it came. He was so close and yet too far away from my longing lips. He looked at me again. I kept smiling at him. He seemed to make his decision and leaned in towards me, towards my lips. They wanted so badly to collide with his. He was very close now. Then he suddenly sat up again moving away. My arms reached for him in panic now, I didn't want him to move away. I needed him to stay here, close to me. "I can't! I have a girlfriend!" he said and got up to run away. Then he was gone. The moment was over. There was only me, lying in the leaves. I sat up. I had known he had a girlfriend, but not in that moment. I didn't want him to. I wanted him to be with me, and now my craving of him here with me was worse than before. I wanted him to come back to me. Then it occurred to me; he didn't look it he had enough wait in his steps to crush anything. Anything but my heart.
School was out for the day, but there was an arrangement that night, and everybody had to be there. As soon as I saw him there, I felt the craving of having him close to me again. Everytime we passed each other we smiled, but there were so many people everywhere and with us all the time that I couldn't catch a break to be alone with him. It was all I really wanted; I wanted to talk to him about what had happened, but most of all I wanted to finish what we'd started – or hadn't started – in the woods. I wanted to ignore – completely forget – that he had a girlfriend. I wanted it to be only me and him. I wanted to press him up against the wall and press my lips to his. I wanted – I needed – to feel the contact between us. I couldn't help staring at him, when he wasn't noticing, but my friends did, and asked what was going on. I told them I'd had a dream about me and him. For some sort of reason I didn't want them to know anything…Yet.
Almost everybody had gone home by now. Only the usual was left. I caught him in an alone-moment. "Hey," I said, "Can we talk for a sec?" I smiled at him, as he frowned lightly for a second before smiling back. He nodded. We went down a hallway. No one was here. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier," he said to me. "Me, too," I said – only sorry about one thing. "Well, guess that's what you wanted to talk about?" he said and raised an eyebrow. I nodded and got closer to him. "Well, as I said earlier, I have a girlfriend and…" he started. I so didn't care right now. "I know, I know…" I said, wanting to forget about it. "Will you just, please, shut up for a sec?" I said and put my hands on his chest. He did the same thing as he had done in the woods, where he looked like the discussed the situation with himself, while I lightly pushed him towards the wall so he had to go backwards with me, untill he reached he wall. I lightly pressed him against the wall and looked up into his eyes. "I… Don't know," he said and looked shiftly at my eyes and my lips. I didn't want to wait for my kiss anylonger. "I like you so much, will you please just kiss me?" I then said. He hesitated for a moment and then bended down, allowing me to press myself up against him and my lips against his. This was what I'd wanted. What I'd dreamed of for a long time. I didn't care about his girlfriend, in love and war… as they say. After a long time of kissing, I felt him pull his lips of mine; unwillingly I let him do it. I looked him up in the eyes, waited for him to say something. "I… Have… I… Had… A girlfriend…" he said, he looked very confused. I felt sorry for him, but I was still a bit glad. He wrapped his arms around me, and there we stood; so close and wrapped up in each other, thinking about what the hell this was. For me; it was a confusing and frustrating – but also quite fantastic – mix of passion, need, and love. For him; I didn't know. I didn't think he did either, other than the fact that he had to make a choice very soon that wasn't going to be pleasant for him…
Did I feel like a bitch for maybe breaking him and his girlfriend up? No, because I knew, that I was in love with him, too, and that we both wanted it on some level. Maybe if I had known her I would feel like a bitch, but I didn't… All I knew was that me and him was meant to be, if he felt the same way and chose me. I hoped to God, he did.
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