He looked at the window

by Pencil Demons

Naruto lies on the bed like a normal human

Behind the lines.

Preview

Naruto and Iruka had an relationship that ended and Naruto was hurt by it very badly….Sasuke comes back from finally defeating his older brother, and now he has a new goal on his mind, to make Naruto his own, but….somethings twisted in the young boy, something that bleeds beneath the surface. There is something very wrong with the young blond….somethng Sasuke might not be able to fix.

End

"I'm sorry Naruto….It just can't stay like this. I'm going back to Kakashi, it's the right thing for me to do. I'm sure you'll find someone who will really love you." Iruka says with a smile, a smile I think is only for show, he probaly just dosen't want me to start crying.

I'll wait till you leave for me to cry my heart out……

"Yeah, your right Iruka-sensi." I lie, putting a smile on my face so he think's I really believe him.

Inside, my bones are breaking, my stomach's eating itself out, my heart's beating so slowly that every breath I take should be my last. I know…deep inside…he's lieing. No one woll love me….you don't even love me.

There is no love for a monster……

"We can be friends as we once were-" Iruka says, giving of the sneaky suspecison that he's just trying to leave.

"Of course" I say back,I know perfectly well, we can never be friends, it will just hurt to much to even try.

"Alright Naruto….I'll see you, and good luck!" Iruka says, going through the door, actually believeing the lie he just told me.

I watch him go, not saying a word, waiting for him to vanish completely out of my sight. I crumble to the floor when I no longer physically see him. But in my mind, he's still standing and he's smiling at me.I cry, I cry so much I thinkt I will swallow my togune and die, right here.

I realize….no matter where he is ,or he who's he with….he's still in my heart. I love him, I love him so deeply, I've thrown down all my barriers and felt him enter my heart. I knew he wasn't really in love with me the way I am with him, he was just using me to get back at Kakashi for cheating on him. But I….I…I hoped, in time, he would have come to love me. And would have forgotten about Kakshi altogether. I …..make him forget, I couldn't make him love me like I do him.

I wonder why he even truned to me, I can never make anyone jealous, I'm just filthy…..an animal, not worth breathing any more.

I don't want to keep breathing! What is life to be, if, you can not have the one you love by your side. It's numb, it's cold, it's too bright to withstand.

First Sasuke…and now Iruka.

I don't think I can keep going like this.

Why can't I make anyone love me?

Chapter Two. I forgot you.

It's almost been two months since Iruka went back to Kakashi. I can't deny, they do look happy together. I'm happy that their happy, it makes some part of my heart feel light. I know Kakashi will never cheat on Iruka again, he's finally realized that Iruka is improtant. Funny, I could have easily told him that. Iruka's just…the light in a gray world, I didn't believe it myslef at first but….I grew to realize it. They'll be really happy together, I just know it.

"Naruto, come on!" Sakura yells through the bathroom door, she must be very impatient to get something to eat.

"I'll be there in a sec, just hold on." I talk back, finnishing the badages around my wrists, some of the blood is still slightly seeping through, but it won't show with the long sleeves I'll be wearing.

"COME ON!" Sakura shouts, banging on the door, at the same time I open it. She hits me on the head.

"Ow" I say, acting like it hurt, but, I was not even in pain. I never really feel ….pain anymore.

"Oh, Sorry! Didn't mean to hit you there- Wha, are seriously going to wear long sleeves on a day as hot as this!" Sakura says,and she reaches out for my shirt, before she can touch me, I slap her hands away.

"Hey! Don't make fun of people about the way they dress!" I spark up, trying to make her forget about me slaping her hands away.

"Well, I , you shouldn't be wearing long sleeves, you'll get heat stroke." Sakura manges to say, trying not to sound like a stuck up bitch.

"Yeah yeah, I'll be carefull" I say , giving her a quick smile before walking around her, carefully making sure not to touch.

I walk over to the door and turn back to see Sakura staring back at me. I smille again and opene the door and walk on ahead. I know she's going to follow me, it's her job.

She's surposed to be watching me, to make sure nothing's wrong, I overheard her talking with Iruka-sensi a few weeks ago….

A few Weeks ago

"Um…Sakura-chan?" Iruka said, looking a little bit uncomfortable. He always looked uncomfortable when he was going to say something personal. He looked so cute.

He had Sakura's attetion, but still took a long time trying to get up his nerve, he was always so bashful.

"Sakura-chan…you like Naruto, don't you?" Iruka finally said, and this made my intrest spike, I was wondering what I had to do with this.

"ER….well, he's not that bad" Sakura said, and I noticed that she never clearly said she liked me, so I knew, she didn't like me.

"Well, how about you two go out? I know Naruto's had a crush on you since back when." Iruka said, his beautiful smile making me want to cry, because I knew, he wasn't smiling at me like that, and probaly never will anymore.

"What? I mean….I don't think he likes me anymore. I think he's got a thing for Sasuke now." Sakura said, sounding embrassed. I guess she didn't know…I gave up on Sasuke because it hurt me to deeply, when he abadoned me when we tried to save him from Orochimaru. The only one I loved was the man you were speaking with, Sakura.

"Oh…I would never-actually, that would make sense." Iruka said, smiling a little, I guess he must have been thinking that I might have a chance to love again. To bad, I knew it would never happen, no one loves me.

"Anyways, do you mind spending some time with him, Sakura-Chan? I'm a little worried about the poor little guy." Iruka said, and I felt a pang in my heart, I didn't want him to worry about me, he didn't need to any more. He had Kakashi to worry about, no one needed to worry about me. I could handle every thing by myslef, just…everything.

"Oh…okay, Bye Iruka-sensi" Sakura smilled and said, waving her arm and walking away. I, too, decided to walk away.(I was hidding)

Later that day, in the training grounds, she asked to be my girlfriend, and I accepted.

End

I walk over to the little café by my apartment, and keep my eyes to the ground, but I still notice a few of the older customers get out of the their seats and leave as soon as I sit down. I'm starting to regret coming here.

Sakura take's the seat across from me and look's like she's going to ask something, she look's very concered. She reallydosen't have to pretend, I know that in her heart, she dosen't care at all.

I notice another couple of elderly ladies get out of their seats 'n leave, they're piniching their nosses, and act like they smell something awful.

"Is something wrong Naruto?" Sakura asks, reaching over to try to take my hand, I shrink back and accidentaly knock over a glass of water.

"Opps, my fault! I'm always so damn clumsy!" I joke and pretend to laugh and smile. In reality, I'm fighting the urge to run away. I don't want to answer her question. I don't even want to be here. I want to go back in my apartment and not be seen again. It's getting harder and harder to pretend I am still who I once was; the happy goof off.

I keep myself busy trying to clean the mess with my towel , that, I don't notice Iruka and Kakashi just happening to walk up to us.

"Oy, Nauto-kun, already making a mess of things." Kakashi says, and I'm surpised by his voice. I quickly sit up.

"Hello Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan, are you two on a date?" Iruka speaks, his beautiful face smiling down at me. I feel my body completely freze up, and my heart slow to a pianful thump. It hurts so much to have him smile like that at me, I have to take my eyes away and pretend to read the menu.

"Oh, yeah, me and Nauto-kun are going to grab a bite, then head over for some training."Sakura chips in, I'm glad she's here, because I'm having a hard time just breathing, let alone trying to speak to the man who I love and who dosen't, no….will never love me.

"Oh, good! Why don't we join you? Is that okay Kakashi-san" Iruka asks, but Kakashi is already sitting down at the table before he 's even asked.

"I was already planning to, honey."Kakashi says, and the pet name makes Iruka blush. My chest begins to feel to heavy to be only made of flesh and bones. I watch quietly as Iruka sits down at the table, right besides me.

As they talk ,I don't say much but throw in the random comment I'm expected to say, I only laugh when I think they'd find it apporite, I only grin when I think it a good moment too. But the whole while…I can't real believe any of it. I can't feel any of it. I'm numb to everything …now.

I advoid Iruka's eyes as much as possible, I don't think I can handle looking into such kind eyes, and know, that kindness is not for me.

I see a flood of girls suddenly run down the streets, some looking worried, some having noose bleeds. It's the fucking weirdest thing I'v ever seen. I notice Ino running with them, and she so happens to turn her head this way and look at us. She smiles, and races over.

"Guy's guy's! You won't belive it! Sasuke-kun's back! Sasuke-kun's back!" Ino shouts in pure bliss, I guess she still has a crush on Sasuke, I'm glad, I hope they can get together. I know Sasuke always wanted to repopulate the Uchiha family.

"Wow, that's great!" Sakura says, already getting out of her chair.

"I wonder what Hokage-sama will do to him?"Kakashi says, he's excited, but he's a little more busy trying to open the cracker package. Though's things can be hard to open sometime's.

"Whoa, I'd never thought it could be so quick! Naurto-kun, isn't this wonderful!?" Iruka says, turning to me and smileing, I guess I'm not as quick to put on my mask and act happy, because Iruka drops his smile.

"Naruot-kun, aren't you happy Sasuke-kun's back?"Iruka asks, pretending to actully worry about me. I quickly put on a fake smile and jump up from my seat.

"Hell yeah!" I shout, and then dash for the mob of girls, who are, of course, headed to the place Sasuke will normally be at this moment, the Hokage's office.

Chapter three. I will sever all ties

~Sasuke~

"I see no reason for me just to go on my way back to the village. I mean, come on, I've killed that fucker Orochimaru, and , also killed my bastard brother Itachi. I'm like a fucking hero now."I say, leaning my face closer to the old women's. She don't look to bad… for her age-

"I still need something more- just give one more reason, and I'll let you back into the village." Tsunade says,with a really fucking anoying smile on her face. God! I have the urge to smack the shit out of her!

I give my own smile, I have something in the back of my mind just for this kind of persuasion.

"I do still own a large protion of land in the joint, namely, the Uchiha's land."I say, barely able to keep from laughing when I see the dumb bitches smile drop. I know it, I'd won.

"Fine! You get to stay, but I consider you one of our ninja's now, and I'm gonna work you like a dog!" The bitch yells, the little vein poping out above her eyebrow.

Damn, I love being right, I love winning!

"Thank you Hokage-sama" I say in a most polite way, moving as quickly out of her fucking office. I can hear her mumble that I'm a smartass. I walk outside to find a mob of girls standing in the street , just waiting for me to fuck'em.

"Sasuke-kun!"I hear a familer voice cry, looking up, I see Ino at the front of the mob. She comes running over to me, and throws her arms around my waist and starts to cry.

"Oh God – I missed you so much!" Ino crys, putting her disgusting tears on my jaket. Damn, how could anyone ever want to fuck a girl, I just don't know.

"Yeah, good to be back!"I give a small smile and pet her head, she looks up at me like I just kissed her or something. Heh! As if….

"Oh Sasuke…"Ino whispers, her eyes growing wide. I'm finding it a little creepy, so I polietly pull her off of me. She moves next to me, and I look through the mob. I can regonise a few faces, I can easily find out where Sakura was, I wave to her and she waves back. I still look through the crowd, stupidly hoping to find a ceartin blond- hey! There he is! He's all the way in the back of the mob!

"Excuse me, Ladies."I say, before running through the crowd.

"Sauke-kun!" Naruto smile's and speaks in the warmest voice I ever could hear. It's …the only voice I want to hear.

"Naruto-kun," I call back softly, leting all the love I have for him spill out in his name. "I missed you so much-" I throw my arms around him and burry my face into his sweet smelling neck.

~Naruto~

Just bare with it, just bare with it. He'll stop touching you, so , just bare with it until then! NO! I can feel his lips on my neck- no! Not his toungue!

"Stop it!" I scream, pushing myself away from his strange embrace. It's bruning on my neck where he touched me. I feel so sick right now, like I could puke, or cry!

I take a few steps back, trying to keep a good distance away from being touched. I realize how strange I must be acting, by the way Sasuke looks at me. I quickly put on a fake smile and laugh.

"I'm so glad your back." I say with a sincere voice, but, I'm not really that happy for him to be back, but, it was a little nice that he was here now. Atleast, everyone else could be happy for his return, me, I'm already to broken to feel that happy for him. I was stupid to love him, I was stupid to have my heart thrown back at me, not the same after he betrayed me.

"Yeah, me too. Naruto-I…you want me to treat you to some Ramen?"Sasuke says, he's smileing, really smiling at me, it's strange. I've never seen him really smile before….and he's wasting it on me.

"Um….o-okay, can Ino-chan and Sakura-chan come along too?" I ask, I don't want to be alone with him for to long.

I'm a little nervous to watch Sasuke look a little offened, and I pray that he will agree.

"I guess…but I kinnda wanted to get some alone time with you-" Sasuke says, he's looking me up and down, I guess he is trying to size me up or something, to be honest, he's grown a couple inches taller then I am. He looks very handsome…..he'll make a good husband for some girl.

"Okay! I'll go ask then, hey Ino-chan, Sakura-chan!" I shout, waving my arms to get their attention.

~Sasuke~

First he pushes me away when I kiss his neck, then moves away from me like he dosen't want to touch me.

Then, I'm obviously checking him out, and I know that he know's that I'm checking him out, so…..why dose he look like he isn't bashful or happy? I thought he likes me? And what the hells with him wanting to bring those stupid bitches along, hello, isn't it obvious?

I'm trying to go some where private with you and talk…and do other things~

"Sakura-chan, Ino-chan, wanna come and eat with us?" I watch Naruto ask the two girls coming toward us. The way he's acting, it looks so phony, he's acting too hyper, too happy, it looks unnatural for him.

"Yeah, that sounds like the best thing yet!" Sakura says, she looks very happy to see me.

"OH hell yeah!" Ino says, cruling her hands around my arm. I guess I'm going to have to walk with her. I look over at Naruto and ….something is wrong with him. There is something very wrong.

He must have felt my stare on him, because, he quickly looks at me and gives me a smile, but it not the smile I have dreamed of seeing…this one is….so empty.

~Naruto~

I'm lucky enough to place Sakura between myself and Sasuke, when we sit down. I'm too scared to risk the chance of him touching me. I….it hurts , or should I say, it burns when someone else will touch me.

But…a good thing about being a monster,…..no one really want's to touch you. So I can manage to get by, most of the time, with no problem.

"Sakura-chan, switch with me. I want to sit between you and Naruto." Sasuke says, and my mouth drops. No! He can't sit by me, he just can't!

I watch him get out of his seat, and can't keep the horror from showing on my face. It's like watching a crash in slow motion.

"No-Sasuke-kun! I want to sit by you, too!" Ino cries, throwing her arms around Sasuke's waist. I silently pray that her plea will work.

Sasuke's face went through a change of emotions, before, catching my eyes in a strange glance. I don't get what the message is, but, it makes my blood run cold.

"Fine fine, but, you pay for your own damn food!"Sasuke shouts at Ino, obviously irate. I can almost feel myself smile, as I watch him sit back down.

Thank you God, thank you for giving me pity.

"Ah-Hello there! What' a bang to see you here Sasuke-kun!" The Rammen shop owner says with a smile, he then took our orders.

Ino and Sakura were the chattiest at the bench, Sasuke usually threw in his two bits and then look at me. I was quick to put on my mask of a smile each time.

"Now-even if I'm paying for it, don't gorge yourself full of Ramen, Naruto!"Sasuke says, looking at me with a threat. I understand why it'd be annoying….having to feed a creature you don't even like. The creature…is me.

"Okay, Sasuke-kun. " I say and smile. I look away to the street, and watch a mother carrying her child. It makes my heart feel like it's bleeding and maybe I can die from the blood loss.

~Sasuke~

What the FUCK! I was joking around you idiot! You could have as much as your fat mouth could stuff! And what kind of answer was that 'okay Sasuke-kun'? Normally you would fight about it, say stuff like, you were gonna eat as much as you wanted, and didn't give two shit's that I was the one to pay for it.

Maybe this is his game…maybe he's playing hard to get. Yeah! He's playing hard to get. Lucky for him, I'm relentless.

I'll have him on his back, screaming my name, making him MINE forever, by the end of this night!

Chapter four. I like my scars.

~Naruto~

The girls were quick to finish their meals in record time, and begin to talk again. I just pick at my food, pretend to look busy.

"Is that all your eating?"Sasuke asks pointing to the overstuffed bowl of Ramen, I guess he must have been watching me. I feel my face grow pale.

"Well…I just have stuff on my mind-" I say, not really finding a good excuse. To be honest, I never really eat much anymore…. I-I just can't find the point. I've been losing a lot of weight, because of it. You could see the bones in my arms and chest , if I wasn't wearing the long-sleves.

"Oh yeah, what are you thinking about then?"Sasuke asks, I kinda hoped that one of the girls will inturupt this conversation, but, they're both watching us quietly.

Just like I was some kind of animal trapped in a cage.

"Just stuff…"I whisper, feeling my thorat go dry. I want to just run away.

"That's not specific, tell me, I'm curious now."Sasuke presses, I can feel his eyes burning into me, but I refuse to meet his eyes.

I sit there quietly, then pick up my chopsticks and force food into my mouth. I don't think he'll keep bothering me, if I just eat.

~Sasuke~

This little tramp! Totally ignoring me when I ask a question. I'd hate to admit but- I'm pretty turned on by how he's playing so hard to get.

I'm going to make him scream my name until his voice is shot.

~Naruto~

I manage to get half-way through the Ramen before Sakura wants the rest.

"I'm still hungry." She says, I 'm glad shes still hungry. I slide the bowl over to her, making sure not to get touched, then I feel a little sick.

As soon as I get home, I'm probably going to throw up everything. I don't do it on purpose, I just don't want to eat or when I do eat…I can't keep anything down for long.

I wait patiently for her to finish, wanting to thank her for what she's done. I won't though, I'm sure it would disgust her to know that she accidentally helped me.

"So….You're not going to tell me?" Sasuke says, and I'm surprised. I've thought that giving a sacrifice of eating, would end the conversation. I kinda hoped it would.

"I…don't really want to talk about it." I say, quickly glancing at Sasuke. He has the strangest look on his face, like he's enjoying this. Is it that fun to hurt me?

Sasuke gets out of his chair, throws money on the counter, then walks over to me and whispers in my ear.

"You will…later tonight."Sasuke says, I'm so scared I jump out of my chair and take off running.

I need to get back home! I won't even look behind me to see if anyone's after me. I don't care if they are! I wish they could all stop pretending! I wish they could just leave me alone!

I just can't take this world, where everyone is lieing to me!

I can't!

Chapter five. You break me once, you break me twice.

~Sasuke~

That little hussy! He's pratically running to his bed, anexious for me! Can't say I blame him, he must be as horny as I am right now!

"Sakura-chan, Ino-chan, I have to go after him. I love Naruto, I love him very much. The reason I came back to this hell hole, was to make him mine, and then leave here. Nothing or no one means anything to me , except for him." I said, looking at both Sakura and Ino.

"What!? Your gay!? Fuck!"Ino said, starting to cry, she has to move her hands over her face to hide the tears, but it's obvious that she's really upset. She must've still had a crush on me. Pity.

"Oh, I'm so glad, he's in love with you and you are with him! It's like a blessing!" Sakura says with a sincere smile. I'm glad that she's so understanding.

I'm about to chase after my blond, when I hear.

"Naruto needs someone to really love him, with the way he's been." Sakura says in a whisper. This catches my ear, and I turn to her.

"What the hell dose that mean 'with the way he's been'? I s something wrong with him?" I ask, looking back at the yellow head dissapering in the distance.

~Naruto~

No one's chasing me, so I eventually start to walk back to my home. I take my time getting there, feeling my stomach churn and grumble, making me feel sicker. My eyes are bruning too- they want to cry, they want to cry really bad. I keep telling myself to just keep it in, keep it in until I was behind a locked door, in a place where no one would see me.

I check behind me one last time to make sure I wasn't being chased. Then I laugh at myself, no one would want to chase me…unless it was finnaly to kill me. If it was…I don't think I would even care. I already experienced enough of this world to get the idea. I had loved….and was abandaned by love. There really wasn't too much else to look for in the world. I don't want to look.

I open the door and lock it. I felt my stomach twist, and race for the bathroom where I retched up entire strands of Ramen noodles. The food all ended in the toilet, nothing was saved. I flush, then sink next to the toilet bowl and rest my head against the white procielin.

My eyes are going in and out of darkness, and my head is full of a dizzy fog. I feel like I need to puke again, so I try, but end up just puking out water and foam. It smells really bad, and it makes me loose all my strength.

I crash to the floor, hearing my head hit hard on the ground, but not feeling it hit. I close my eyes for a moment, and try to listen to myself breath.

"No one loves you….."

"Disgusting…Filthy…"

"It'd be better if you die…"

"Don't play with him…he's a monster…"

"They only put up with you…so Kyubbi no Kitsune dosen't escape"

"Your worthless to them…."

"You don't amount to anything…"

"You'll never be Hokage…"

"What village would ever want…a monster like you…"

"No one wants you….no one's your friend.."

"They're all lieing to you…and your dumb enough to believe them.."

"Your own mother didn't want you…."

"Your own father didn't want you…"

"They couldn't bare having such a monster…so they died…"

"Just leave this place….no one wants you here…"

"No one…..loves you."

I open my eyes again, and felt tears running down my cheeks, and hit the tile floor with a tap-tap.

I don't know why I don't just leave this place, why I can't just realize that there's nothing here for me. There's nothing I can do to change…anything. I pull myself off the floor and walk over to the bedroom. I'm barely able to sit down on the bed and pull off my long-sleeved shirt.

The bandages on my wrists were stainded with blood, I must have reopened the wound…they might be infected. I undo the white wrap, and can see on both writs…they're puffy and red, but not bleeding.

There are about 15 deep cuts on my wrist, all surrounding the main artery. I not trying to kill myself. I know a lot of people would be happy if I do die. I'm afraid to die….because…I don't even now why. It's funny, it really is, I should be wanting to die…but I don't.

I'm barley hanging on, and I don't know what keeps me from finally just ending myself.

I reach over to the nightstand, and pull out a kunai from the drawer. I hold it in my right hand and bring it to the skin of my arm.

"Iruka…I love you…" I say, with huge tears falling down my eyes, it's hard to see anything but I have to watch myself do this….

I push the tip of the kunai into my skin until I can feel it break through. There's a tiny trinkle of blood rising up from the cut. I push harder, feeling the blade sink in, and give shooting waves of pain through my body. I sob as I watch the blood surface more franticly.

"More.."I whisper to myself, pushing the tip in harder. The blood begins to drip down my arm in a fast rate.

"More…more…" I whisper, beginning to move the blade through the skin, slicing through the flash. I ignore the tears in my eyes and only focuse on increasing the pain.

"More…until I can't think about Iruka anymore, until I can't feel my heart anymore. The only thing I can feel is this pain…pain I deserve."I whisper, bringing the kunai blade down my arm, leaving a bloody trail of a deep gash. The blood's coming out in buckets, and I feel the sheets around me get soaked with the red blood.

"Just pain…that's all…just pain.."I whisper as my head begins to spin, and my hand spasmes, causing me to drop the kunai. I can barley move my arm anymore, I might've cut a nerve. I lay on the bed and lift my arm to watch the blood spill down and pool ontop the bed in a red puddle.

"I wish…I wish…you could've loved me…"I say, I lose all conciousness after that.

~Sasuke~

(a little before)

"What the hell dose that mean 'with the way he's been'? I s something wrong with him?" I ask, looking back at the yellow head dissapering in the distance.

"I…what I'm about to say is under the idea that you will not going blabbing it around the whole village, you got that? Sasuke-kun, Ino-chan?"Sakura says, her eyes burning like fire.

"Er…I promise I won't" Ino manages to say, I guess even she could figure out when to shut her mouth.

"I won't tell, now, what's wrong with the dope?"I ask, eager to know.

"Alright, me and Naurto-kun have kinda been going out for a while. I wouldn't call it going out though- he ….I know he's hiding something from me."Sakura begins, walking away from the Ramen stand, and both me and Ino following.

She dosen't speak for a moment, and looks like she won't say much more but then she looks back at us.

"He's not as happy as he used to be, I catch him with a distant, sad look on his face, rather then his usual smile. Naurto dosen't laugh that much either…and when he dose…it almost sounds artifical. He advoids getting touched, to a point where he'll walk around the entire village, so he dosen't accidentaly bump into someone. He's always wearing long-sleeves, even in this hot barely eats, even when it's Ramen. And …when I ask him what's wrong, he advoids the question. I know Naruto had a secret realtionship with someone in this village and-"Sakura was saying, but I interupt her.

"Who! Who was touching MY Naruto! Who the fuck is he!"I scream, clenching my fists hard because I want to punch the motherfucker!

"I don't know who, but they broke up. That might have something to do with the problem, I don't know." Sakura finishes, with her face looking years older.

I stand there quietly, putting the information in my head. Ino looks at me.

"It sounds like he's been really hurt from the break up. Sasuke-kun, you are going to have to be patient with Naruto, and help him heal. If you love him….you are going to have to be gentle to him." Ino says, and for once, she actually sounds really smart.

"I will…nothing is important but Naruto. He was the only thought in my head, the only reason I didn't cave in to Orochimaru and his mind control, the main support for my campaign to kill Itachi. He is…the light of my life, and I will make him mine." I say, with ture sincerity. I will be very paitent with him, and shower him with my lover. In no time, he will be healed and in love with me.

"I wish you luck then,"Sakura says with a smile.

"Yeah, me too. But if it dosen't work out…I still love you."Ino says with a smile.

"Thanks,I'll be off then." I say, and began to run off to the dope's apartment.

I come up to Naruto's apartment, and see how the lights weren't on. Good, I can sneak in through his bedroom window and force him to have sex with me, make him confess to loving me while he screamed pleasure in my arms, and then I would tell him how I loved him too. I would then rock his body until we both cum, then I would pull him into my arms and own him completely, and forever.

It's the perfect plan!

I climb up the side of the buliding and come to his room. What luck! The dope left it unlocked! I push it open and then stopped….

"Holy…God…!" Is the only thing I can whisper as I look onto the bed. I see blood on the sheets, the sheets are covered with blood! And I see Naruto in the middle of this pool of blood, his left arm gushing out the red stream of blood, from a large gash coming from down his arm to his wrist.

I climb into the room, carefully avoiding the blood, and rush to Naruto's side. I can see the bloody kunai on the floor. It didn't make sense though…was Naruto the one who hurt himself? I mean, everything about this, the kunai on the floor, the wound being not as serious to case a quick death, this didn't look like an assaination. But …that would mean that Naruto was….I don't believe this!

He was so thin! I could clearly see the bones in his arms and chest. Why wasn't he eating? I dodn't like the fact that Naruto is hurting himself, and, to look at it, I can see 15 deep cuts, meaning that this wasn't the first time. He might've been cutting for a long time now.

I swallow my sudden urge to take the boy into my arms and cry out 'No Naruto, don't hurt yourself! I'm here, and I love you. We can love each other!' I can't look like such a softie to him, I want to punish him, I want to punish him so bad for betraying me. He's betrayed me by trying to destroy the one person I love, him!

I'm going to punish him so bad, that he'll never think about hurting himself, and after that, I'm going to find the bastard that made Naruto hurt himself , and fucking slice a hole in his throat and pull the tongue through, so he can choke on himself!

But…right now, I only need to make sure that Naruto's going to heal soon. I move to his bathroom and find some bandage tape and a needle and thread. I wash the needle with very hot water, then go over to the bedroom.

I put everything in my pocket and lift Naruto off the bed, and bring him over to the couch. The sight of Naruto sleeping in blood is frightening me.

Once on the couch, I lean over and pulled out the thread and needle, and began to push the needle and thread through the arm's flesh, and pulling the gash to close up. I have to give him 32 stiches, before the whole thing closed up. I took the bandage tape, and wrap it around the spots that I can, without disrupting the stiches.

"God Naurto! When ever I find the bastard who made you do this to yourself, I'll make him bleed as much as you have tonight, even more!" I procalm in a whisper, I take a pillow from the couch and lean back to the floor. I'm going to sleep next to him.

Damn it! Why did you have to do this, Naurto?

~Naruto~

"I'm sorry Naruto….It just can't stay like this. I'm going back to Kakashi, it's the right thing for me to do. I'm sure you'll find someone who will really love you "

"Yeah, your right Iruka-sensi."

"We can be friends as we once were-"

"Of course"

"Alright Naruto….I'll see you, and good luck!"

"Naruto." I hear a real voice call, not just my dream, and I open my eyes. I see Sasuke sitting on the floor, watching me, I wonder whey he's here?

"Naruto, you were whimpering in your sleep. You have a bad dream…or memory?" Sasuke says, and I look away from him and find myself to be in my living room. Why was I in here?

"Naruto! I'm trying to talk to you!" Sasuke screams, and I look back at him and pull on a fake smile.

"Sorry Sasuke-kun, I'm just-" I see the blood on my body, and my arm has stiches in it. What happened?! I look at Sasuke, droping my smile, and look at him urgently.

"Sasuke what are you- did you do the stiches-it's not what it looks like! I can explain!"I cry, my heart's racing now, I don't want Sasuke to be looking at me differntly, or telling everyone what I was doing! I know that would probaly be happy to hear it but- I don't think I could stand their faces if they stopped acting like they cared!

"Oh? It's not what it looks like? Your telling me that, when I find you on your bed in a pool of blood, your arms covered with scars, and the knuai right on the floor and close to your bed, that you weren't hurting yourself? ….Don't lie to me, or…I'll punish you." Sasuke says, and when he said the last part, he had a sadistic look in his eye.

I…only nod, he's frightening me.

"I…yes, I was cutting myself."I whisper, I look away from Sasuke, and wish that he could just leave the matter alone. I don't want to answer the questions he will ask. I don't think I can.

Sasuke reaches out to touch my face but I fliched back and tense up. I look up to see Sasuke, he isn't happy. I watch him reach over for my arm , I still flich.

"Stop it, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to cut the stiches, you don't need them anymore."Sasuke speaks, his hand hovering over my arm. I still can't let him touch me.

"It's fine, I don't want to trouble you anymore…" I voice and try to smile, Sasuke dosen't let up though and takes my arm anyways. I bite my tongue so I won't scream at his touch, it's unbearable but I let him do as he wishes.

When he's finished, I pull my arm back, only to have Sasuke snacth it from me. He's angry.

"Why did you cut yourself?! Why did you do such a stupid thing!?"Sasuke speaks harshly, and I try yanking my arm back, but he just tightenes the hold. I try to ingore the burning sensation.

"I…just couldn't keep thinking…about the other pain, so I…would….just to advoid the other pain."I whisper, feeling my heart beat slow down till it's a painful thump in my chest. I can feel my rib cage rattle.

"What a stupid excuse….what's the 'other' pain?"Sasuke asks, trailing his finger up and down my arm. I feel like someone is rubbing a lit match on my skin! I whimper, and try to yank back, but it is was useless. Sasuke glares at me.

I don't answer, I just want to be left alone like I usaully am.

Sasuke realeases my arm, and I pull it back to my chest and sit up. I pull my knee's close to my chest.

"You…who did this to you Naruto?"Sasuke asks, standing up and going to the seat next to me. I jump off and sprang for the bathroom, but Sasuke is quick to catch me by the arm. He swings me around to face him.

"No one did anything-I'm just weird-let go off me!" I try to sound carefree, but I can't stop crying. The pain is getting too unbearable. With the more and more he acts like he actually cares, it hurts me. Inside, he must be laughing at me.

"Naruto , stop! Don't run away from me! I want to know who did this to you!?" Sasuke screams, he then tries to reach out for my face, and I bite him. He let's go off me out of insticnt, and I dash to the bathroom .

"Stop it! Stop touching me! Stop acting like you care!" I scream at the top of my lungs, tears blurring my vision. Sasuke run's up behind me and catches me by the waist, then forces me to the ground. He moves on top of me.

I kick, and I bite him, I throw my claws at his skin, leaving read lines on his white color of skin.

"No! NO! NO!Get off me! Get off! Sasuke! Please get off me!" I scream, tears burning down my cheek. My body is crying from pain as I feel Sasuke touch me with his hands.

"Shut up you whore! I know you were with someone else! But your mine! Every bit of this flithy and disgusting body is mine! How dare you let someone but me touch you, and how dare you cut it up and starve it like some beast! I have to punish you, so you learn never to do it again!"Sasuke screams in my ear, then rips off the pants I still wore.

I am now completely naked and underneath him, and I watch in horror as Sasuke tears off all his clothes until he is naked. I see his erect cock; angry with lust. He grabs both my legs and pushes them apart, then takes his cock into his hands and moves it to my entrance.

"No! Please don't do this Sasuke!" I scream and cry, my whole body is tense. The burning pain of his skin touching mine, is more then enough pain I can scream from. If he is to just shove himself inside me, no preperation, I would surely die of pain.

"Shut up! I wanted to be the first and only one inside you, but you made me do this! You stupid cunt! What you get is what you deserve!"Sasuke snarls, then forces his cock inside.

I lose all air in my lungs and look at the celling, the pain…the pain…

Sasuke begins to thrust inside me with no gentleness, quick and fast, always going in deeper. I close my eyes and try to image this isn't happening to me…I'm not getting raped.

"No, Naruto. What a horrible thing to think! Your with me, Iruka-sensi. We are on a shore of a lake."

"We are…but I thought I was…"

"No no, my love. We are at the lake now, you and I have been talking about how we should live together. And how the home shall be decerated."

"Oh…Iruka-sensi? Do you love me?"

"Yes, Naurto, yes! I love you, when I first started using you to only make Kakashi jelaous, I fell deeply and madly in love with you! You're the light of my life!"

"Really! I love you too Iruka-sensi!"

"I know, I know, but, we still haven't decided what color we should have our bedroom be, I was thinking mabey a minty green color-"

"Uh-uhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"Sasuke screams, colapsing on top of me. I stay silent, and don't move. I feel numb now, no more pain from being touched or anywhere else.

" I love you!" Sasuke whispers in my ear, then leans up to kiss me on the lips. Funny…I don't feel that either.

I watch Sasuke get up and pull out, I don't even wince, only watch him. He looks at me a little funny and reaches out to stoke my hair.

"I'm sorry I did that….it won't happen again, I know how to be gentle, and I will be next time."Sasuke says with a sincere voice.

"Don't feel sorry, it's my falut. Just like you said, it's my fault." I say, I just want to go to sleep now.

"Wha….Naruto? Do you….would you like to take a shower, to clean yourself up?"Sasuke asks, and I mildly think that he wants to wash away the evidence that I was raped. He dosen't care about what's happened to me, but he dose care about himself.

Funny….I wouldn't report him, although, I don't think anyone would really care about it if I did.

Sasuke reaches down and helps me to my feet, then escorts me to the bathroom. I sit down on the toliet and watch him fix up the shower then turn to me. He helps me in, then, gets in himself. I now, know why he wanted to give me a shower, he really just wanted to clean himself.

My whole body is numb as I feel him wash my back and hair, carefully wash my ass and pay speacil attetion to my entrance. He then washes himself, then the shower is over. He helps me out, and wraps me up in a towel. Sasuke take's me back to the living room and sets me down on the couch.

"I'm going to clean your sheets first, then I'll make something for us to eat. I'll try to be fast."Sasuke says, and I only nod. I don't really care about either.

Chapter six. Glass cut my heart.

"Naruto…come on now, dinner."Sasuke says, I look up to him with some surprise. I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening until now. I watch Sasuke reach for my arm and I flinched away, I push myself off the couch and walk to the two –chaired-table. I hear Sasuke's footsteps behind me.

I sit down, see the food on the table, and have no desire to eat….it actually nausates me to smell the food. I want to throw up, and there isn't anything to even throw up.

Sasuke sits down across from me, starts putting things onto his plate and then looks up at me.

"Your not going to eat…? Naruto, you need to eat."Sasuke says, but I still don't feel complled to take some of the food. I look at the living room and see my blood is still on the couch.

"Naruto! Goddamit! If you don't eat something-your like some skeleton!"Sasuke screams and gets up from the table and walks over to me.

"But I'm not hungry."I say, straight to his face. Sasuke only looks at me like I'm a mad man. He grabs a handfull of rice and shoves it at my mouth. Some of the rice gets in, but I start gaging as it touches my togue. I try to move away,and run to the bathroom, but he catches me and forces me back to my seat. Sasuke uses a hand to pry open my mouth ,and shoves rice into it with his other hand.

"I'm not letting you starve yourself to death!"Sasuke shouts, and I start to cry. I feel my stomach crunch up, and refuse to take in the food. I am going to throw up everything he tries to put in.

I lay by the toilet after throwing up all that had been forced inside me. My head's thrumbing very hard on the floor. My heart is beating too hard, I can feel my ribcage rattle. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks, but I do not wipe them away. I look at the wall of the bathroom, feeling wretched.

"Naruto….dose this happen a lot? Do you throw up after eating?"Sasuke says, he's standing by the door entrance, and he's looking down at me.

I ran straight to the bathroom after he tried to force feed me and threw up everything. He only watched when it happened. I must be the funniest thing to see. I must be some animal to him, that's living in pain, but no one helps and will only watch what will happen.

"I…either don't wanna eat…or throw it up.." I whisper and close my eyes. I'm so very tired, everything needs to stop being the way it is; normal.

I hear Sasuke walk into the bathroom and up to me. His hands move under my weak frame and pick me up into his arms. I'm not going to protest to this, but I don't like it. I would be just fine on the floor there, I have been before.

" Sleep well my-…..Naruto." Sasuke says, putting me onto the clean sheets. I can smell the laundry detergent. I t's a nice smell. I always feel a little more lonesome when I smell it though….it makes me think of how mothers were the ones to always wash their son's colthes.

I'm the only one who could wash my colthes…and that just makes me feel lonely. I don't like washing my colthes much.

The bed is nice and soft from the wash, and I close my eyes. I feel Sasuke move onto the bed as well, and settle next to me. I try to hold in the urge to jump away when I feel his hands on my back. They feel so nice and gentle…..like their safe and loving. But I know better, those hands are not doing this out of love but acting.

"Sasuke…please don't." I whisper, and I feel Sasuke moves his hands away.

I crule my legs up into my chest and fall asleep.

~NEW DAY~

~Sasuke~

I never really slept last night. I kept having this idea that, as soon as I was asleep, he would run away from me. I found myself wakeing up every ten minutes, and feel relifed to see him still there and next to me.

I'm happy to see the clock read ten o'clock. I sit up, and look down at my sleeping beauty. Naruto twitches a little and then clenches his teeth every so often.

I take this time to think of everything from yesterday. I found Naruto in a pool of blood, but it was his own blood. I confronted him for it, and he did answer some questions. But as soon as I asked him about who did this….he refused and blamed himself.

I was so angry that he was protecting this guy…I…I did the worst thing possible. I raped the man I've loved since that many years ago I left this village. I never wanted it to turn out this way, I wanted to make love with him, not to him.

But, I wasn't planning on finding him to be so….devistating. I still can't belive that Naruto would hurt himself.

I reach out to touch his face gently, and even in sleep, he shrinks away from my touch.

Naruto…how am I to love you…if you won't let me touch you?

I sigh, get off the bed, head over to the bathroom and take a piss. When I walk back to bedroom, I see that Naruto's already on his feet and redressing himself. He picks up a long-sleeved shirt and pulls it over his blond hair.

I watch him sit back on the bed and pull his knees up to his chest and dosen't due anything eles.

"Naruto…you want some breakfeast?"I ask, Naruto turns around and gives a weak smile.

"No…I'll throw it up again." He replies and then let's his smile drop, he truns back and stares at the floor.

"Oh..right , from yesterday. Hmm…I could make chicken broth." I say, I don't think you can really throw up chiken broth. At this point, I want him to atleast consume some amount of calories, even if it's low.

Naruto dosen't even look at me, he keeps staring at the floor. I sigh and decide to just go ahead and make it.

I come back with a steaming bowl of Chicken broth, a bowl for me and Naruto. I put them on the table.

"Naruto, come in here, breakfeast!"I yell, and see the blond eventually walk into the kitchen and sit down.

I watch him pick up his spoon and take a small sip. He looks at me and then back at the broth and takes another spoonfull into his mouth.

I watch him eat the broth until it's empty.

"Did you like it?"I ask, I hope he dosen't rush off to the bathroom and puke again.

"I…thank you." Naruto says and stands up.

"Crap! You have to puke don't you!"I say, damn! I thought this would work!

Naruto looks to the bathroom, but then looks back at me and he looks surprised.

"Well,I thought I had to…but I guess I don't need to."Naruto says, a little dazzed. I watch him sit back down, and after a moment of staring at the empty bowl, he looked at me.

"Can I-"Naruto asks, and I already take his bowl and fill it to the brim with steaming broth.

"Here, eat up baby-" I say when I put the bowl on the table, I instantly regret calling him 'baby'because he looks up at me with angry eyes.

"This is just a game isn't it! Your just lieing to me!"Naruto shouts and slaps the bowl off the table and jumps out of his seat.

"What!? No, this isn't-Naruto, I'm doing this because I love you!"I say in defense, I reach out to touch'em, but he just dashes for the door.

"Shut up! You don't love me! No one loves me!"Naruto screams and opens the door and runs into the streets. I run after him.

~Naruto~

"Stop running!" Sasuke screams behind me. I know he's getting closer, so that means that I have to run faster.

"Kyuubi, listen to this selfish prayer! Make me run fast enough to get away!"I cry to myself, my legs are not moving fast enough and Sasuke is almost close enough to touch me.

"Do it yourself"Kyuubi growls in my mind.

"Please! Oh God! Please help me Kyuubi!"I scream, I feel Sasuke grab at the whisp of my colthes.

"….your so weak but I'll do it."Kyuubi snarls, but I feel a shot of energy go through my legs. I start leaping long distances, making the gap between me and Sauke bigger.

"Naruto!"Sasuke screams at me but his voice gets fainter and fainter.

I keep running…..

I colaspe in the middle of the woods, far away from the Kohona gates. I brace my back against a tree.

"Thank you…Kyuubi."I whisper. My heads burning with a headache, I'm sure I've bruned off the calories of the one food I've been able to swallow and keep down.

Kyuubi never answers back, I know he wouldn't. He never talks to me unless I'm in deep distress, and even then, he's not happy about it.

I'm always alone, even when I have someone inside me. Even he dosen't like me.

I close my eyes and listen to the world outside of Kohona, it's more peaceful outside the boundries of mankind.

I feel something soft brush against my hand, and I open my eyes. I see a small little rabbit, too small to be grown, it is only a baby.

"Silly thing, don't you know that I hold a demon inside? I hold the demon responsible for the deaths of many. I'm a monster."I speak, softly but not warmly. The baby rabbit sits down next to my hand and falls asleep. I feel a wramth come from my face and find myself to be smiling.

"Silly thing, you still chose to stay."I say and reach down to pet it's soft ears. The bunny opens one eye looks up at me, then jumps away. I feel my smile leave, and tears drop from my eyes.

"I guess…it wasn't that silly." Is all I can say through my sobs, then throw my head back and scream. No one even wants to be around me! God! Why did you have to make someone be so alone!

I cry loud enough that I don't hear another's footsteps come closer.

I scream out when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Jesus!"Sasuke exhales, putting a hand to my mouth. I look at him a minute before pushing his hand away. I shove him away from me and stand up.

"Get away from me Sasuke!"I threaten, I feel my legs burn from the use of Kyuubi's extra chackra. I don't think I can run again.

Sasuke grabs me by the arm and whips me to the ground. He sits on top of me and pins my arms over my head. I only look at him, and bite down my lip to not scream from the bruning pain.

"Don't pull that shit on me, Naruto!" Sauske says with a sneer.

"Just let me go, I don't want to see you anymore." I say back and feel the fight begin to die down inside me. I'm just to tired to fight anymore….

"I'm not going to let you go. I've waited so long to have, all these years I've wanted you. Your mine." Sasuke says and pushes his lips to mine. He tries to deepen the kiss by putting his tongue in my mouth. I feel numb.

He pulls back and looks down at me. He's very angry.

"It's like kissing a doll!" Sasuke screams and rocks his hips against my crotch. I whimper and squeaze my eyes shut.

"You need some coaxing is all, you want me as I want you!" Sasuke speaks with pleasure in his voice. I can feel his hard cock hitting against my cock.

He stops rocking his hips and manages to push down my pants and pull out my cock. He strikes his tongue against the head of my shaft. I gasp and squeaze dirt between my fingers.

"Hmm, you like this, me licking your cock don't you Naruto? You like me sucking your hard cock."Sasuke says between licks and little bites at my ball sack.

Sasuke starts to moan when he takes my cock into his warm mouth.

I cry, and only feel my body enjoy the pleasure in a shameful way.

"Stop! Please Sssssauke, I don't want this! I hate it!"I cry out, trying to fight how good it feels.

"No you don't, you want me to do more. Your dirty hole is quivering, dose it want me?" Sasuke speaks with lust as he sucks harder on my cock. I feel him touch the sensitive skin by my entrance, and my body tenses up. I hear him laugh under his breath, then shove a finger inside me.

"No!"I cry out, I thrash my body side to side, trying throw him off me. He only laughs with my cock inside his mouth. He wiggles the finger inside, then adds another finger and starts to sciccor me.

He relases my cock from his mouth and moves up to kiss me, but I trun away. I feel him shove another finger inside to strecth me.

"Don't be like that baby-I just want to love you."Sasuke says in a heavy voice, and takes his free hand to grab my face so he can shove his tongue into my mouth. I feel my stomach wretch and my taste the acid of vomit in the back of my throat.

He pulls out the fingers and sits back, and I watch him unzip his pants and pull out his enormus cock. He shifts himself so he can nudge the head at my entrance.

"No, don't due this! I don't wanna do this again with someone who dosen't love me." I cry with tears rolling down my cheecks. Sasuke looks at me for a long moment, and then a shawdow falls over his face.

"What do I…have to do. I tell you I love you…but you don't believe me! I love you Naruto!"Sasuke screams at me then thrusts inside me. I throw my head back and scream in silence.

Please! Iruka , save me!

"No, your disgusting Nartuo"

"Iruka-sensi, don't say that, I love you!"

"No you don't, your enjoying this! Your enjoying all of this!"

"Please don't say that Iruka, I only want you."

"Liar liar, just like Kakashi! I loved you, Naruto, but your just a flithy whore!"

"No your wrong, I hate myself for feeling good when it's not you!"

"That's right, hate yourself, everyone else hates you!"

"I love you Iruka-sensi!"

"Flithy child! Never enjoy sex with someone who dosen't love you!"

"I don't want to, Iruka-sensi!"

"Then prove it! Don't enjoy sex, only make it hurt! I want to see you bleed for reptenace!"

"Yes, Iruka-sensi…."

"I love you Naruto…"

"I love you Iruka-sensi."

"Naruto, come on." Sasuke whispers in my ear while giving another thrust into me.

"Yes,"I answer, and shift postions so I sit ontop of Sasuke's cock and he lays below me. He looks at me surprised until I beging thrusting myself down on his cock. Sasuke takes his hands to my hips and grips tightly.

"Oh Naruto!"He exhales, wrapped up in his pleasure.

I can't enjoy this, I have to make it hurt, I have to bleed to be forgiven. I thrust down on Sasuke's cock, missing my sweet spot, so it is being brought to a set of nevers inside me that cause me to bite down on my lip.

I move up and down Sasuke's cock, digging his cock into every place that causes me pain. I notice the motion of each thrust become smother, and I catch the sight of blood spilling out from underneath me. I'm doing it, I have no pleasure in doing this, I can only feel its pain. I feel nothing else!

"Iruka-sensi, you forgive me?"

"Yes Naruto."

"Iruka-sensi, do you love me now?"

"I love you Naruto."

"Narutoooooooooooooooooahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"Sasuke screams and throws his head back. I thrust onto his cock a few more times before I pretend to orgasim.

I pull off of his cock and spy blood and cum on his skin. I have to get rid of the evidence, so I lean down and lick off the sticky mixture. After, I move up to pull up my pants.

"Naruto…"Sasuke speaks in a whisper and reaches his arms out to hold me. He dosen't need to act like he cares about me…he got what he wanted.

"Naruto, come here."Sasuke speaks, a little more demanding. I don't move any closer to him and stand up. I look down at him, laying there, a stupid smile on his face. I feel myself be flithy, I was used like a whore.

I trun away and walk. I hear Sasuke zip up his pants and come after me. I sense a trickle of blood run down my leg from my entrance. I almost smile because of it. I think of the pain instead of everything in front of me.

"Heeyy! I wanted to cuddle like a normal cupple!"Sasuke says and throws an arm around my waist. I shove him away and keep walking.

"What the fuck! Jesus, you act like we didn't just have sex."Sasuke says sarcasticly, he reaches out for my hand but I shove my hands into my pockets. I keep walking and keep silent.

Chapter Seven. I don't belive in you.

~Naruto~

I move into the Kohona village and feel somewhat relived and then…somewhat beaten. I may not be loved by the village, but I love the village.

"Naruto~!"Sasuke whines behind me, and he takes ahold of my hand. I try to free myself when I see Kakashi sensi walking up to us, a book in his face.

"Yo,Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun"Kakashi speaks with between the pages of his book. I pull my hand away and straighten my shirt out.

"Hello Kakashi-sensi!"I say and make sure to put on a bright smile. I was such a wide type of smile that it hurt my jaw.

Kakashi looks at me briefly and then dose a double-take. He closes the book and peers at me. He leans foreward on his toes.

"Did you two…just have sex?"Kakshi says with suspesion and I drop my mouth. I look down at myself and see nothing wrong with me…except the small trickle of blood running down my leg. I don't want him to see that.

"Wha-how do you-"I mutter and Sauke pulls me into his arms and wraps them around my chest.

"Yes we did! Care for details?"Sauke smiles and plants a kiss on my cheek, I only try not to scream out in pain. His lips only touch my skin and I feel like I'm in agony.

"Oh, not really. I just came by to tell the both of you, that Hokage-sama has assigned a mission for you." Kakashi speaks and takes back to reading the book in front of us.

"So…what's the mission?"Sasuke speaks and tigthens his hold on me. I really have to fight myself not to instinicly pull away from Sasuke. When Kakashi leaves…I'm going to break away from him and run!

"Yeah..your going to sand village to pick up some of Hokage-sama's good sake. "Kakashi says truthfully, but I can't believe him. Why would that be a mission! Why the hell can't she do it! Or, why do two people have to travel over there to get it!?

"Kakashi-sensi! That sounds riducles!" I shout and get the chance to break away from Sasuke.

"Naruto-kun, I don't say what the Hokage wants and dosen't want, just do it!"Kakashi speaks, a little more annoyed with my protest. I quickly regret it, and wish I never said it. I check myself and think of a good response.

"I-I don't need Sasuke to come with me. He just got here and might want to take time to rejust to our village. Let him stay here, and I'll go."I say and smile. Kakshi eyes me for a moment then sighs.

"I believe that Sauke-kun promised to work off his 'absence'. Your going to just deal with him."Kakshi says, then walks away with the book in his face. Wouldn't it be hard to walk around with a book so close to your face?

"I did sorta promised that I'd let Hokage-sama work me like a dog."Sauke sighs out. I don't even look at him.

"I need to pack."Are the words that fall out my mouth before I speedingly hurry away.

~Sauke~

I stare after Naruto and feel so frustarted. I have sex with him, not rape, and he still can't bare to be touched. I just don't get it! What do I have to do? I tell him I love him, and he didn't even believe me then.

I drop my head and heave out a big breath. I open my eyes to see tiny drops of red on the yellow sand.

"Is that …blood?" I say, I look up to the dissapaering Naruto. It couldn't be him, I've been with him all day and he hasn't had a chance to do anything harmful to himself. I'm just seeing things.

I don't look back down, and run after Naruto.

~Naruto~

I go inside the apartment and hear Sasuke walk behind me and close the door. I move to my room and start pulling out spare colthes, and put them into a pack. I travel to the bathroom and start packing some soap, deoderant, tooth past and brush.

"Would you like to go to your house and get you things?" I call to Sasuke. I turn around to see Sasuke inside the bathroom and leaning against the wall. His eyes are scrutinizeing me.

"Oh, are you now concered about me?"Sasuke scoffs, and I have no idea why he's acting like this. I take the pack to my chest and wrap my arms around it like a sheild. I don't trust the look in his eyes.

"Why not? You're my friend."I say, I'm being honest. He may have hurt me, in my heart, and used my body. He may even hate me for what I really am, just like everyone dose. But I still see him as my friend.

"Your friend? Naruto…do you care about me?"Sasuke asks, tilting an eyebrow up. He pushes off the wall and stands straight.

"I care about you."I say and smile. Sasuke looks down at the floor for a long minute.

"I don't…wanna go over there. I'll just share what you bring."Sasuke says and looks up at me. I tilt my head and smile.

"If you don't get bothered sharing trash."I say, even when I was saying the words it serverly stung my heart. Still, holding the pack at my chest I cross over to the doorway.

Sasuke grabs my upperarm. I whip my head around and see Sasuke looking at me seriously.

"Hey Sasuke~" I say and my voice wavers. He takes the pack out of my arms and drops it on the floor. I look at the back and then back at him.

"Sasuke?"I say. I feel my gut scream for escape.

"Naruto, please take off your shirt. I …want to see the scars again."Sasuke says, shifting his eyes from my arm to my eyes. I don't want him to see anything!

"Er,um, can't we just pretend that never happened?"I smile and laugh a little. Sasuke dosen't lossen his grip.

"I can't do that, you should know I can't. Please…just take it off."Sasuke asks, his face looks in turmoil. I don't want him to look like this, I've cause people enough promblems by being alive.

"Alright."I say, and submit. He realeases my arm and I pull off my shirt and drop it next to the pack.

"Raise your arms…"Sasuke whispers not looking at my arms but my chest. I submit. I hold them above my head and he takes a quick look at my left arm.

"That scars healing up somewhat…"Sasuke comments. I nod my head, I heal fast because Kyuubi dose the work..I do the damage.

Sasuke reaches out to trace a line down my chest. I hold in my breath as the trail of fire burns through. I didn't think he'd want to have sex again so quickly. I can't take it, not again.

"Please Sasuke,I-please, lets not do it."I whimper as he put another hand on my chest and began to trace around my nipple. He isn't going to listen to me!

"Sasuke-we have a mission to do~" I whimper again and then almost scream out in pleasure as he brought his mouth to my nipple. He twrills his tounge around the stub until I begin to shake.

"Naruto~"

"Iruka-sensi, I'm sorry! I don't mean to enjoy this!"

I begin to gasp as I feel Sasuke's hands roam lower down my stomach.

"Sasuke-you don't really want to do this again with me!" I gasp out, feeling my cock grow hard.

"Your sensitive here~"Sasuke coo's when he traces fingers under my belly-button. I moan louder then I thought possible. I cover my mouth with my hands.

"I thought you loved me Naruto…you were lying."

"No, I don't want this- I want Iruka-sensi!"

"Have you forgot! You can't enjoy this! You can only bleed!"

"I want to make love Naruto." Sasuke whispers as his hands go to the button of my pants.

"He wants to make love Naruto…"

"NO!"I scream and push away, I snatch my shirt and pack in a quick swoop of my hand and dash for the door.

Sasuke tackles me down to the floor and flips me over so I'm on my face.

"Goddamit Naruto! Your not running away from me."Sasuke yells .

Sasuke rubs his hard cock agiasnt my ass, and moans loudly.

"Ahh~ Naruto." Sasuke takes a hand to pull down my pants. He sits up and looks at my bare ass. I don't know what he's going to do, so I tilt my head to look back at him.

Sasuke's face is pale and his lips are quavering. He takes a hand to touch my skin and when he lifts his hand, I see blood dripping down his fingers. He looks at me, confused,angry, dissopinted,sad,and lost.

"Why…are you bleeding Naruto?"Sasuke asks in a shaky voice.

I look away and close my eyes and pretend I can't talk.

Sasuke flips me over and grabs my shoulders in a tight grip. He looks a mixture of pure anger and fear.

"Why are you bleeding Naruto! Answer me right now!"Sasuke screams out, I can see him shake.

"I…why do you care what happens to me."I say with a blank expression.

"Because I love you-"Sasuke starts and I cut him off.

"You..love..me. ..YOULOVEME!?!?"I scream, full of anger that I can't control the pain in my voice. I shove him off me and sit up.

"I can't take this anymore! I can't take the lies! I can't take how everyone acts like they care! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of this! I'm falling apart! You don't love me! NO ONE LOVES ME! I am nothing to anyone! I don't have friends, love, or even sympathy!All you people want is to see me crash and burn!JUST STOP PRETENDING! Just don't act like you care…because it's worse to live in lies then to live alone. I just want everyone to stop…so I can just give up."I say and break down, I can't handle this anymore. I start crying so hard that my shoulders ache and my throat go's dry. I take my hand and claw at the scar on my left arm.

"Stop it!"Sasuke screams and lounges at me. He knocks me to the floor and pins my hands above my head.

"What are you going to do now, rape me!? Why don't you! Use me! That's all I'm good for now- Just use me and leave, just like he did!"I scream in anger and pain. My heart is beating so hard that I wonder if a rib bone might break and my heart get stabbed by it.

Sasuke sits up, still not realsing my arms, and looks down at me. His face is full of dissopointment.

"Naruto…I'm not trying to use you."Sasuke says gently and reaches for cheek. I feel his touch not to be painful but soothing. I don't want it to be.

"Then…what are you trying to do!?"I cry and tears fall down my face. Sasuke leans over and licks away the tears with his tongue. I cry even louder, it's to painful to think he's being so caring when he hates me.

"Ssstop-please!"I cry.

"I love you."Sasuke speaks and laps up my tears.

"No you don't!"I cry back, but he dosen't stop.

"I love you."Sasuke says again, his lips press lightly on my skin. I feel even more vile.

"Your lieing! Yuh-you don't want me!"I speak and try to wiggle out of his hold, he places kisses over my brow.

"I don't? Why not?"Sasuke speaks through kisses.

"Be-because I'm a guy and can't have babies!"I scream out.

"What!"Sasuke exclaims and sits up. He looks down at me with the weirdest expression.

I close my eyes and start to cry again. Sasuke sighs and pulls me up and throws his arms around me.

"I don't know what your talking about. But I love you Naruto."Sasuke whispers in my ear. I try to pull away and he pulls me back.

"You don't love a monster…"I finaly say, giving up and letting a numbness fall over me.

Sasuke pulls up my chin and gently puts his lips to mine. His lips feel warm and mine are cold, dead like my heart.

"Your not a monster…why do you think that?"Sasuke questions when he pulls away.

"Don't lie to me…I have Kyuubi no Kitsune inside me. I hold a murder in my skin and flesh."I say and close my eyes.

Sasuke dosen't answer me, and I know that he agrees with me. I'm a monster.

"You need to get rest, we have a long way to travel for the sand village." I say after the silence continues. Sasuke lets go off me and stands up. I take my shirt off the floor and pull it over my head and take the pack into my arms. I squeaze it tightly to my chest.

"Naruto…who was this man that used you?"Sasuke asks, and it throws me off. I don't answer him and squeaze the pack tighter to my heart.

"You need to tell me someday…."Sasuke speaks. He pulls me up off the ground and we walk to the bedroom. He takes my hand and forces me to lie down. Sasuke moves onto the bed next to me. He trows his arms around me and I grow stiff.

"I'm not going to do anything to you…"Sasuke speaks but I don't sighs.

"I will give you a promise…I won't touch you until we reach the sand village." Sasuke says reluctantly and takes his arms away from me.

"Thank you…" I say, and close my eyes. I fall asleep.

~Sasuke~

I feel the sting of my cock scream at me. I have to ignore it though, I can't force Naruto to have sex if he dosen't want to, and that's pretty obvious. But I can't get up and go to the bathroom to jerkoff.

"Naruto…I don't what's happened to you but…your suffering. I wish I never left this damn place, but I don't know if I'd realized my feelings for you then."I whisper and want to touch the blond sleeping so close to me. But I promised I wouldn't. I think it would be best if I try to keep my desire for him under lock and key for a while.

I need to regain his trust…what he said earlier, about everyone pretending…why would he think that? I don't know anyone in this village who would even try to put on such an effort.

I never knew it could be this bad though…he is self has these ideas of everyone pretending to like him…and that he's a monster. He thinks no one loves him and then wants to give up! I'm afraid to leave him alone because I don't know what damage he'd do. I can't let him out of my sight! He even found away to hurt himself to the point of bleeding when we made love.

Or…did it become simply fucking to him…?

He's so twisted and…I keep making it worse. I have to try harder! I have to show him that he is loved, and most of all, by me!

Whoever that bastard is,the one who simply used my Naruto like a doll,I cruse. He has hurt my poor Naruto! I'll find him, if Naruto will not tell me, someone elses will!

I love Naruto, I love you.

You are my light.

Chapter eight. I shatter dreams.

~Naruto~

I feel my heart beating fast as I struggle to open my eyes and wake from my dream.

"I'm sorry Naruto….It just can't stay like this. "Disgusting…Filthy…"

I'm going back to Kakashi, "You don't amount to anything…"

it's the right thing for me to do. "No one wants you….no one's your friend.."

I'm sure "No one wants you….no one's your friend.."

you'll find someone who will really love you " "No one…..loves you."

"Yeah, your right Iruka-sensi." "No one wants you….no one's your friend.."

"We can be friends as we once were-" "They're all lieing to you…and your dumb enough to believe them.."

"Of course" "Just leave this place….no one wants you here…"

"Alright Naruto….I'll see you, and good luck!" "It'd be better if you die…"

I hear something loud bang to the floor and open my eyes…I see Sasuke limping around on one foot. I'm glad to be awake and give him a true smile.

"What's da'matter?"I ask, looking at the pain on Sasuke's face.

"A Goddamn pot landed on my fucking foot!"Sasuke hisses through anger. I laughed a little and then sit up and get off the bed.

"How'd' you do that?"I ask and walk over to where he was. He looks at me and manages to give a small smile back.

"I was trying to make you some chicken broth…"Sasuke says and I can't help to laugh. I don't know why I'm laughing? Am I really happy? Or…was it funny to see him hurting himself?

Sasuke looks at me with shock and then starts to laugh himself.

"You don't have to waste your time on me."I say and smile, and then feel a pang in my heart. Yeah…he dosen't…because he hates me.

"Naruto?"Sasuke asks, he stops limping around enough to see how I've changed. I smile back at him flasly and walk back to the bed to grab the pack.

"We should get going."I say over my shoulder.

"It's only my body I'll give to him. My heart is not his."

I love only Iruka-sensi, always, and for eternity.