Spoilers: Resurrection Ship (Part Two)
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the characters belong to Ron Moore and Universal Studios, not me.
Headlong
He's in Adama's office, under the pretext of a signature, what he really wants is answers. Kara's been recruited to assassinate Cain and Lee keeps pressing his father for an explanation, that is, until the old man mutters those words. "I'm not gong to debate this with you. This was a very hard decision. But I think the President's right – this is the best way to safe-guard the fleet."
Lee feels his world shatter. "The President? So you and the President…?" it comes out before Lee can stop it, the surprise and hurt.
"Yes," William Adama replies. "She's made of sterner stuff than people give her credit for."
'Than you give her credit for,' Lee thinks; he'd seen Laura's strength many times and was in no doubt of her fortitude.
But the fact that Laura made this kind of decision without him, that she turned to his father for advice instead - Apollo doesn't want it to mean anything, doesn't want to give it significance, but he can't ignore it. Lee imagines the President leaning co-conspiratorially towards his father, imagines her lips close to Adama's ear, her hair gently brushing the old mans cheek, the soft lilt of her voice, the look in her eyes - like Adama is the only soul in the world she trusts and Lee feels his stomach churn.
He feels nauseous, feels jealous, feels many things, but he doesn't want to face the assault of mixed emotions, because he doesn't want to admit the control Roslin has over his heart.
He would never do anything to hold her back, but this time she has gone too far… he can't agree, can't protect her – every fibre of his being screams against it and it scares him, because maybe she is more like his father than he realised… maybe becoming a leader does that to you – hardens you.
Lee never thought he could feel this way about her; a strong revulsion at her actions, but still, within him, there's a glimmer, an adoration for her. Maybe it will shine less brightly, given this new revelation, but it's still there.
It hurts that he's now at odds with her, that she's joined ranks with his father - that she's beyond his reach and no longer beyond reproach. Lee has invested so much in her, this betrayal stings and he wishes she had called on him instead of Adama. Wishes she had asked his opinion, she always had in the past. Maybe he had let too much time pass since he'd last seen her, maybe he was too distracted with being assigned to the Pegasus to notice the distance growing between them and he curses his lapse.
Maybe the simple truth was that they weren't on equal footing – she was the President after all, of course she would turn to his father on a matter like this… but that doesn't stop the thoughts in his head or the resentment Lee feels towards her for entrusting the old man ahead of him. He'd heard the rumours – that Roslin and Adama had become very cosy, that they called each other by their first names, that they had 'meetings' in her private quarters and until now, he had blocked that information out. Until now it hadn't seemed real, hadn't been threatening.
He thought Laura was his alone, that nothing could taint their relationship, but now Lee sees what a hopeless endeavour that had been; Laura was not exclusively his and she never would be.
The End