How Syaoran and Sakura Got Their Grr-roove On

Chelle: LI SYAORAN!!!

Syaoran: Hai?

Chelle: Look at my title!

Syaoran: *takes a very fast look, blushes, and refuses to look up again* It looks long.

Chelle: I told you I wasn't going to call it that! I TOLD you! I can't change it now, you little freak! I'm stuck with it!

Syaoran: It could be worse? *Suddenly bursts out* Sakura made me do it! I swear!

Sakura: Syaoran!

Chelle: Oh, god…*blink* Oh, whoops! Um…hee hee hee….

Disclaimer: The apartment, the characters, and the staff belong to CLAMP. I'm afraid that I'll have to admit to the rest of it.

Sakura: What's to be afraid of? It's not like anything happens.

Chelle: Quiet, you.

Dedication: Tsuin Circe, who didn't tell me this idea completely sucks. But near enough.

Notes: Stupidity alert!

Chelle: Anyway… I was going to call it: How Syaoran and Sakura Really Got Together…*glare* But someone apparently thinks that I can be tricked into an S&S lemon. No way, no how. I just couldn't write something like that. I just can't see it.

Sakura: How come Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun get some, then?

Chelle: I didn't write that! When this is done…? Go bug Circe. Circe did it.

Syaoran: So did they, apparently. *Pout*

================================

(The scene opens with a panoramic view of Tomoeda, slowly closing to an exterior shot of the apartment building Syaoran lives in. Laughter from the street and birdsong are the only sounds heard. Then…)

            "Aahhhhhhhhhhhh! Spider! Spider! Wei! Wei! Wei! There's a spider in the corner!" (The view becomes the interior of Syaoran's apartment. He holds a cleaning rag to his heart. A can of furniture polish rolls at his feet, clearly just dropped. Horror is written large across his features.) "Wei! Where are you?! There's a SPIDER in here!"

(He backs into the kitchen, where a note is prominently displayed on the refrigerator. Snatching it up, he reads aloud…)

" 'Gone to the store for pie ingredients. Back in an hour or two. –Wei' Oh, no! What am I going to do? That thing is HUGE! I can't face it all by myself! It'll kill me!" (Flutters hands helplessly) Oh, if only there was some brave soul who could rescue me!

            (Cue heroic music, dirty over shot of the apartment door breaking inward. Sakura, dressed in Something By Tomoyo, stands framed and backlit for an instant in the doorway before striding in.)

            "Syaoran! I heard screaming! Are you all right?"

            "Sakura! Thank heavens you're here! There's a gigantic spider in the corner over there! (pointing with trembling finger) I can't kill it, Sakura! (begins to cry) It's huge and it's in there and I don't know what to do!

            "Leave it to me, Syao-kun. I'll protect you!"

            "Oh, Sakura!" (Goes dewy-eyed and sparkly at the edges. Syaoran's POV on Sakura, surrounded by flowers and soft lights.)

            (Sakura, striding into the living room) "O Key which hides the power of the stars, reveal thy true form before me. I, Sakura, command thee under contract. Release!" (Gratuitous Key/Staff twirling scene, ending with Sakura facing her many-legged foe.)

            "Alright, Spider it's just you and me now! You can't get away with frightening my Syao-kun, you evil, wretched…(Sakura, blinking a bit confusedly as Syaoran cowers in the doorway) tiny little thing. (turning to face her beloved) Syao-kun? (points to the corner) Is that it? (We Switch to Sakura's view of the spider: tiny, harmless, and almost cute—if arachnids can be cute) That one, there?"

            (Syaoran, nodding frantically, clearly still terrified) "Yes! It's HUGE!"

            "Okay. (Sakura frowns) I guess." (She advances toward the corner, pulling out the Sakura Cards as she does so.)

(Syaoran's POV: a tiny Sakura facing off against a huge, slavering, hairy, eight-legged beast in a dark, dingy, dangerous corner) "Oh, Sakura, be careful!"

(Sakura beings flipping through her cards, muttering softly) "Not Firey, I'd burn the whole place down. Not Watery, 'cause I'd flood it. Don't need Fight for this. The Big and the Twin…"(Syaoran whimpers at those two, and Sakura flashes him a comforting smile) "that'd just make it worse. Little would make it too small to see. Glow is pretty useless anyway. Not Fly, Snow, Mist, or Mirror. I have no idea what Libra and Wave do…. Oh, screw this!"

(Sakura raises the Staff over her head in a gesture similar to that used when changing the Clow cards to Sakura cards) "You'll never frighten anyone again, Spider!" (She swings the Star Staff down, crushing the spider with the edge near one of the wings, as 'action sequence' music plays. After the audible crushing noise, music goes 'heroic'.)

"Oh, Sakura! You did it! You saved me!" (Syaoran, finally moving again, flings himself into Sakura's arms, gazing up at her adoringly.) "You were so brave! And bold and skilled and decisive! How can I ever thank you?"

(Sakura, a comforting arm around Syaoran's shoulders, gazes wistfully down at him, while honestly admitting) "There's no need to thank me, Syao-kun. I only did what needed to be done. I'm happy enough that you're safe and well, now."

"Sakura…I…I…. There's something I have to tell you…."

"What is it, Syao-kun? You can tell me anything. I'll do anything you ask."

"You're so kind, and gentle, and your nobility here today…I'm not afraid to tell you my feelings anymore. Oh, Sakura…I love you! I really, truly, do!" (He blushes slightly, but doesn't look away from her as he speaks.)

"Oh, Syao-kun! If only you knew…I've felt the same way. I love you, too!" (Sakura sweeps him off his feet and into her arms and strides off into the sunset – seen through the balcony doors – as the scene fades to

Syaoran: The bedroom.

Chelle: No! Damn it, we're almost done.

(As the scene fades to

Syaoran: The bedroom.

Chelle: Didn't I just say "NO!"?

Sakura: C'mon…why not?

Chelle: Because I said so. If I may continue…?

(As the scene fades

Sakura: Into a picture of me and Syaoran gettin' it on.

Chelle: Aigh! Ickers. No. Now shut up and let me finish!

(As the scene fades to

Syaoran: A slow motion sequence of …um…you know…that * blushes furiously* moment…y'know…where we're um…finally…ah, getting together?

Sakura: Ooh, good one! I like that idea. Let's do that scene!

Chelle: Oh, god, no! Both of you shut up! That's not going to happen.

(As the scene fades to

Syaoran: The bedroom.

Chelle: Noooooooo! Just let me freakin' finish the friggin' fic!

(As the scene fades to

Syaoran: *very firmly* The bedroom. C'mon, we wanna do it.

Chelle: Sakura, may I borrow the Star Staff for a moment?

Sakura: Um…I guess so. *hands it over* But I want a love scene in return.

Chelle: *whacks Syaoran in the head with the staff* No. I said 'no' and I meant it. *hits Sakura over the head with the staff as well.* Now. To finish this fic…

(As the scene fades to black and the credits begin to roll over the prone forms of Kinomoto Sakura and Li Syaoran.)

Color by Technicolor

Special Effects by Industrial Light and Magic

Any resemblance to locals or peoples -living, dead, or imaginary- is intentional

No reproduction or broadcast without permission