Author's Note: Here's my take on what Jack might have been thinking while on the train back to Hope Valley. Jack said he had a lot to think about so I wanted to offer some possible thoughts of my own.
I will be using Jack and Elizabeth's dialogue to set the scene. Then the rest is of my own creation, except for the quotes that I may use. I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!
Rebekah ;~}
Train Station Scene Recap:
Jack and Elizabeth are making there way to their train.
"This has certainly been quite the trip!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Let's just hope that next time I have to come to Hamilton it won't be because of some crisis." Jack stated.
"How's Tom?" Elizabeth asked.
"Tom is in good spirits." Jack replied. "I think he's finally getting himself on the right track." Jack answered.
"Good. Hopefully he'll forget all about Julie." Elizabeth stated.
"Well, let's hope Julie forgets about him too. I think the expression is, 'It takes two to tango?'" Jack retorted.
"Yes, but you have to admit trouble does seem to follow Tom wherever he goes." Elizabeth expressed.
"Of course you'd see it that way." Jack retorted.
"What do you mean by that?" Elizabeth inquired.
"Well, my family doesn't have the breeding yours does, so of course we're always the problem."
"Jack, I didn't say that." Elizabeth began.
"My brother and I, we don't exactly fit the image your parents have of the right kind of people for their daughters." Jack explained.
"That's not true." Elizabeth replied.
"I think it is." Jack quipped. "That's why your father offered me a job." Jack explained.
"He did? Jack that's wonderful! That, that proves that he really likes you." Elizabeth exclaimed.
"No, Elizabeth. It proves that I'm not good enough for him as who I am." Jack argued.
"Did he say that?" Elizabeth inquired.
"Didn't have to." Jack responded.
"Look, Jack, my father is a very generous man. And I believe he thinks he's offering you a good opportunity."
"Tell me, Elizabeth, can you see me as an executive in your father's company?" Jack asked.
"Why not? I think you should at least consider it." Elizabeth responded.
"Sorry, Elizabeth, but I'm not going to change who I am to fit into your family." Jack sighed resignedly.
"I didn't ask you to." Elizabeth defended.
Jack handed Elizabeth her suitcase.
"Where are you going?" Elizabeth asked.
"My seat's in coach." Jack replied.
"I have a first class compartment. You should ride with me." Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Thanks, but I got some thinking to do on the ride home." Jack responded, his voice thick with regret.
Jack walked away, leaving Elizabeth standing there befuddled and alone.
{Title}
Jack entered the train and placed his luggage above in the overhead compartment and sat down by the window. He did not like leaving Elizabeth alone, but she had given him many things to think about, things that truly made him rethink his desire to marry her. He didn't want to admit it, but she seemed to want to change him. He was afraid that she too, had begun to think that he was no longer good enough for her. It both angered and grieved him to no end. Jack looked out the window, thinking about the conversation they just had. The more he thought about it, he wanted to address it with her, but he was so angry, he knew he wasn't ready to face her, at least not yet.
He thought about their conversation which effectively started their argument.
"Yes, but you have to admit trouble does seem to follow Tom wherever he goes."
Jack couldn't believe that she was only blaming Tom. Elizabeth wasn't even considering that her sister has a knack for getting into the same trouble that seemed to follow Tom. Jack had guessed that Julie convinced Tom to let her drive. Even after it was proven that she had, Elizabeth was still just considering Tom's involvement. He had to get away from her before he said something he would regret. He sat looking out the window, when an attendant came by to check his ticket and hand him a note.
"Jack,
Please come to the compartment? We need to talk about what just happened. #31
Elizabeth."
Jack read the note twice before stuffing it in his jacket pocket. He did not want to talk to her at this moment. He was still trying to collect his thoughts. She was just going to have to wait. Jack continued to process what he and Elizabeth were discussing just before he had thought that their relationship was coming to an end.
He thought back to what he had said to her regarding his and Tom's breeding. Her response was not what he had expected to hear. She seemed to be so different from her family, that once he heard her, it felt as if she was being influenced by their prejudice. It was not like his Elizabeth, the woman she was in Hope Valley.
"Well, my family doesn't have the breeding yours does, so of course we're always the problem."
"Jack, I didn't say that." Elizabeth began.
Jack knew that she didn't say those exact words, but they were most definitely implied. She was still standing up for her father as if there was a line drawn between the social classes. From their discussion it appeared that she was slowly making her way over to her family's side. This did not sit well with Jack. After their argument at dinner other night, he had thought it was over. But then they both rallied and came to their siblings' aid in making them see what they needed to do instead of what they wanted to do. Jack was pleased that he and Elizabeth were on the same page. Today, however, after his conversation with her father and then her being pleased that he offered Jack a job, Jack was convinced that they could not recover. This fact was unsettling. He loved Elizabeth. He believed that she might love him as well. He tried to set aside his fears for the time being to rest. He had time to think more about their conversation. He drifted off to sleep.
Elizabeth was sitting in her compartment. She was still reeling over what just happened before they boarded the train. Jack was so angry. She couldn't believe that what they had said had completely changed their demeanor towards each other. Elizabeth was so upset, that she couldn't even write in her journal at the moment. She was hurt by what he had said and did not want to think about the long train ride back to Hope Valley. She wanted to rest and hope to wake up in a better mood. She had sent him a message, but that was thirty minutes ago and there still was no reply. Elizabeth laid her head back on the bed that she was sitting on and fell asleep.
Several hours later, Elizabeth woke up to the sound of people walking passed her door. She looked around the empty compartment. She wanted to talk to Jack. She wondered if she could find him and make him listen to what she had to say. She hoped that he would want to listen to her. She got up and opened the door. She called out to the porter who was walking up a few rooms ahead. He turned and quickly came to her to see what she needed.
"Yes, Miss? May I be of some assistance?" He politely smiled.
"I need to speak to Constable Jack Thornton. He is in coach, but I don't know where he is seated." Elizabeth asked, hoping that the porter could find out for her.
"Well, the constable is not at his seat at the moment. But I could give him a message for you in the time being." The porter replied.
"I have tried that, he will not answer." Elizabeth explained.
"Well, I'm sorry ma'am. Maybe he doesn't want to be disturbed." The porter tipped his hat and swiftly walked away.
Elizabeth was not happy with these turn of events. She decided that she would go find Jack and talk to him. This silence was too much for her to bear. She freshened up, and in a matter of minutes she made her way to coach. If he wasn't where he was supposed to be, then she would check the dining car. She hoped that she could talk some sense into him. After all, they were both upset over their siblings' lack of responsibility and both hoped that they would each grow up and come into their own.
As she made her way to coach, Elizabeth remembered some of what Jack had said regarding her father.
"My brother and I, we don't exactly fit the image your parents have of the right kind of people for their daughters." Jack explained.
Elizabeth couldn't see what Jack was talking about. Her father just wanted to make sure that Jack was worthy. She was sure that he would come to see how much Jack meant to her. Mr. Thatcher was fair and just. She also knew her father to be a kind and generous man. Elizabeth had defended that fact. Contemplating the next issues, she sighed heavily.
"That's not true." Elizabeth replied.
"I think it is." Jack quipped.
Elizabeth thought back to the other problem that Jack had with her father. She couldn't believe that Jack didn't see the opportunity that her father had offered him.
"That's why your father offered me a job." Jack explained.
"He did? Jack that's wonderful! That, that proves that he really likes you." Elizabeth exclaimed.
"No, Elizabeth. It proves that I'm not good enough for him as who I am." Jack argued.
This opportunity was just what Elizabeth had hoped for. She wanted Jack to have a job that was safe. She admitted that she was being selfish, but she was always so concerned when he went out on his rounds that something would happen to him. She thought about him at a desk and filling out papers for her father to review or going to meetings and coming home to her every night for dinner.
Elizabeth made her way into coach and found a porter to ask about where the constable was sitting. The porter nodded and told her that he was actually in the dining car. Elizabeth thanked him and was grateful that this porter had been so helpful.
Jack was sitting at one of the tables on the right, facing the door to coach. He was drinking his one allotted whiskey of the evening when he saw Elizabeth walking through the door. He sat there, holding his drink, his back stiff. He waited as she made her way to the table. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked. Even as angry as he was with her, she still stirred strong emotions of love in him. He wanted to erase all that they had said to each other and start this trip over. Jack wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, assure her that they would get passed their differences.
Elizabeth brought him out of his reverie as she stopped in front of his table.
"Jack? May I join you?" Elizabeth asked, smiling tentatively. She hoped he would say yes, while fearing that he would not.
"I suppose so." Jack replied curtly, taking another drink of whiskey. Elizabeth sat down across from him and placed her folded hands on the table. She sat there looking at him. He looked right back at her although she could sense that he wasn't seeing her. She tried to reach for his arm. He pulled it back and focused his gaze on her face.
"Elizabeth. Why are you here exactly? We know what we both want and it's no longer the same thing." Jack exhaled exasperatedly.
"We need to talk about this. We can't just walk away from what we have and not address what is bothering us. Please can't we just figure things out together?" Elizabeth tried to touch his hand as he had relaxed it onto the table.
Jack let her touch his hand, only briefly as he had craved for her touch. The heat he felt from her touch was too much. He jerked his hand away from her and stood up from the table. He saw the shock on Elizabeth's face as tears began to pool in her lovely crystal blue eyes. He took a deep breath and briskly walked away from her, clenching his fists at his sides.
Elizabeth turned towards the retreating form of Jack. His shoulders were tense and his back was stiff. She knew that he was not in the mood to talk. He had made up his mind that there was nothing for them to discuss. At least, there was nothing for them to discuss as far as he was concerned. Elizabeth wiped her tears away as she stood up to make her way back to her compartment. She had to pass Jack's seat on her way back, and tried to ignore him as she walked pass. She glanced down at him and could see the stubborn set of his jaw and his hands still clenched into fists. He looked up at her, but there was no sign of welcome in his expression. Elizabeth continued past him as briskly as possible. She wanted to be as far away from him as possible. She was afraid, now more than ever that this was the end.
Jack saw Elizabeth's tears roll down her face, but he refused to go see her. She was upset. He was upset. Neither one of them wanted to admit that there was truth in what the other had to say. Jack looked out the window and tried not to think about their argument. He tried.
"Look, Jack, my father is a very generous man. And I believe he thinks he's offering you a good opportunity."
"Tell me, Elizabeth, can you see me as an executive in your father's company?" Jack asked.
"Why not? I think you should at least consider it." Elizabeth responded.
"Sorry, Elizabeth, but I'm not going to change who I am to fit into your family." Jack sighed resignedly.
Jack didn't know what Elizabeth could be thinking. He thought she knew who he was as a man. He thought she understood that being a Mountie was his dream and that no office job would ever entice him to come to the city and leave his frontier post. She was pursuing her dream. Why did she think he needed a different one? She wanted him to at least consider it. But would she have considered a different job than the one she had? He doubted that. She was not being fair. Jack wondered why Elizabeth was pushing to talk with him. It was clear to him that she no longer saw him as someone she wanted to be with. He was wondering if their trip to Hamilton had sealed their fate as a couple. He didn't want to believe it, but the facts were staring him in the face. Firstly, her family, with the exception of Julie and maybe even her Aunt Agatha, did not approve of them courting. Secondly, her old family friend, Charles seemed to have her father's blessing if he so chose to propose to her. Finally, her father's job offer to help him be 'accepted' into proper society. That angered him the most. He told her that he wouldn't change who he was and he thought she understood that. She thought he should consider it. How could she expect him to do that when she herself would most likely never consider changing her dream for him. Jack laid his head back and closed his eyes.
Elizabeth had crumpled onto her bed when she reached her compartment. There was no way to get through to Jack. He was so angry with her. She didn't know what to do. She prayed and then pulled out her journal. She hoped that she could at least get some comfort in writing out her thoughts.
When hearts are at odds, it is best to pray and let God direct them to the outcome that would please both parties in the conflict. Let go and let God. His timing is perfect. One may not know when or how, but God will show them the way and show them the right words to say to bring healing to the relationship.
The next afternoon, the train pulled into the station. Elizabeth and Jack had exited the train and walked over to the stage to head to Hope Valley. Jack noticed that she was struggling with loading her luggage. Without a word, he picked up her suitcase and handed it to the stage coach driver. Elizabeth smiled at him in thanks. Jack nodded and offered her his hand to help her get in. Elizabeth settled in her seat and noticed that Jack had sat across from her.
"How was your night?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.
"It was fine." Jack responded, not meeting her gaze.
"Well, I hope it will be a pleasant trip home from now on." Elizabeth stated.
"It should be fine barring any mishaps. I'll be here if there is any trouble." Jack continued to divert his gaze.
The stage stopped half way to Hope Valley to rest the horses. Elizabeth and Jack got out to stretch their legs. Jack helped Elizabeth out of the coach and quickly walked away to avoid any further contact. Some time later, he offered her his hand as she stepped in and sat down. Jack took his seat and looked out the window. He saw a gentleman come up to the stage and hand his bag to the driver. The man took a seat beside Elizabeth and Jack noticed that he was pleased to be sitting by such a beautiful woman. Jack felt uneasy. He had wished he had sat by Elizabeth if only to keep this man as far from her as possible.
The man nodded at Jack and then looked at Elizabeth as he began introducing himself.
"Hello, ma'am, my name is Trent Callaghan." The gentleman tipped his hat. Trent extended his hand in a friendly greeting.
Jack took the man's hand and was surprised to find that his grip was just as strong as his own.
Trent spent the entire trip talking to Elizabeth about his travels to all over the west coast. With every smile she offered Trent, Jack clenched his jaw tighter. He was upset with her and the way they left things in Hamilton, but he was still concerned with the way they had seemed to be getting along so well. This was going to be a long ride home. Jack tried not to listen to Trent's stories, but he couldn't help but be interested in some of his adventures.
"I traveled up the California coast and stopped at the many beaches and took in the sites." Trent explained.
Jack rolled his eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Elizabeth. She gave him a disapproving look and he ignored it by looking out the window.
"That is fascinating, Mr. Callaghan." Elizabeth exclaimed, smiling at Trent.
"Oh no, please call me Trent. I hope I may be able to call you Elizabeth, Miss Thatcher?" Trent asked.
"Yes, Mr. Callaghan, you may call me Elizabeth." She paused. "I mean, Trent."
Jack was feeling sick. If he had to take anymore pleasantries, then he would jump out of the stage and walk the rest of the way.
The stage had been bumping along for the past hour and jostled Elizabeth out of her seat, causing her to fall to the floor. Jack was quick to offer her his hand, but Trent beat him to it. He held Elizabeth's hand and helped her to her seat. Jack was watching this exchange and could feel his blood begin to boil. Jack was aware that the man was probably just being gentlemanly, but he couldn't help feeling the pang of jealousy rise within him.
As they were nearing Cape Fullerton, Jack looked over at Elizabeth who was still engrossed in the stories of the different museums and libraries that Trent had visited in California, Oregon and Washington. Finally arriving at Cape Fullerton, Trent turned to Elizabeth and expressed how he enjoyed their visit.
"Elizabeth, it was truly my greatest pleasure to meet you and get to know a bit about your adventures in teaching in the frontier." Trent grasped her hand and brushed his lips to the back of her fingers.
Jack huffed, getting out of the stage and pulling his and Elizabeth's luggage down. He tried to ignore the giggles that Trent was eliciting from his Elizabeth as they said their goodbyes. Trent finally took his leave, Jack had hoped it would be forever.
"I thought he'd never leave!" Jack exclaimed. "He was so annoying."
"Jack!" Elizabeth admonished. "I found him to be quite charming."
"Sure you did." Jack retorted. "We can't get back to Hope Valley soon enough."
"Maybe we can discuss what has been bothering you once we get home?" Elizabeth asked.
"There is nothing more to say, Elizabeth. I have too much to do at the jail anyway. I will be quite busy over the next few days." Jack explained.
Jack and Elizabeth settled into their seats and the driver headed to Hope Valley.