Smile
By tani-chan
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Note: Babbleshipping Jou/Kisara bunny I had. Also contains Polarshipping Jou/Mai and Rumorshipping Seto/Kisara. Don't like it, don't read it.
I didn't quite understand it.
I had always heard my sister and Anzu, let alone Mai, ramble on about that first feeling you get for someone. How sometimes that feeling can sweep you off your feet just by looking at them, and you can know in that moment that you're going to love them.
Silly me, just thinking that happens to girls.
It was during that whole crazy mess of getting Yuu…. Atemu's memory back. There was this girl, getting stoned and pushed around by the villagers.
I felt my heart pull when I looked at her.
I just thought it was that manly instinct of mine; protect those who need the protection. Let alone seeing anyone hurt and ganged up on like that makes my blood boil.
Heh, I was wrong.
Maybe it was just because she just seemed like a bit of a calm in the giant storm we were all wrapped up in, or maybe just because she was the opposite of the dragon I loved.
In any case, I later learned that I had fallen for her. Hard.
I don't know if she could even see me, when I ran up and yelled at the crowd. After all, Mana could see us. And we all know Kaiba had run into her later. His distant look showed it all.
Despite the fact that Atemu later told us of how he was there while she died.
In any case, I didn't quite get why I was so upset upon hearing that fact, let alone just my heart going crazy at the mere mention of her. I only did that with Mai, anyway, and I didn't know what that meant then either.
Lesson learned there. Talk to a girl.
It was after that Atemu left for the afterlife, and we all separated or joined together for mourning did I think of her. I cried.
I felt selfish. My own best friend had just walked away, forever, and here I was crying over some girl I had only gotten a glimpse at in a world composed of memories. A girl I barely knew anything about, and yet was haunting my mind more than Mai did when we nearly lost her. I didn't get it.
I still slightly wish was just a girl in a memory world.
When I found Anzu later on, crying her eyes out on a corner of the boat, I blabbed to her about it. I didn't get it, and I knew Honda wouldn't understand. I couldn't find him anyway. But, when I told Anzu about it, she just smiled sadly at me, tears still going down her cheeks, patting me on the back while she said, "Well, Jou. Looks like we're in the same boat."
I still don't quite get why she said that. But, what surprised me more is that I found Kaiba.
You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to watching that asshole cry.
Things went on normally after we got back to Japan. I hid the fact that I was dreaming about some girl that I didn't know, let alone the constant repeat of watching Atemu leave. I was all smiles though. Yuugi needed us now, more than ever anyway.
I started to content myself with just thinking that the girl was just that. A girl. A memory. Nothing more than that. Or just someone I could pretend was a girl of my own design. You know. One of those fantasy girls men make.
I wish that was still true.
Fate had it so that I'd get to see that girl again. But, of course, it wouldn't be me that I would be with. Ever.
It was a few years after the whole Atemu 'mess' that Anzu entered some contest that won us tickets to this musical that was playing in Domino, and dragged the rest of us along. Of course, Yuugi was all too happy to comply, and if the rest of us didn't go, Anzu'd flay us alive. But, for some reason, Mokuba had decided to go as well, dragging Kaiba with him. Of course, Anzu and Mokuba got seats next to each other, so that the usual insults flied, even during part of the musical. But, it was when the main act started that the lot of us fell completely silent.
It was her.
I just sat there, completely stunned, watching as she sang on the stage, oblivious to the rest of us staring at her with our mouths wide open. Even Yuugi and Honda were shocked, let alone Kaiba. I probably would have laughed right then at his expression if I wasn't cracking inside.
I just sat there; silently praying that she would look at me, send me some glance. Because, for some reason, that meant the world to me. It was around the second act that she looked over our way, but it wasn't because of me that she just about right there fainted. I had, hell we had all known as soon as we heard the High Priests in the memory world babble about the 'white dragon,' let alone the Kaiba look alike, that she was Blue Eyes.
Looks like Kaiba's infatuation with it didn't just stop at the dragon.
She almost tripped up during her scene, but she continued on, looking back over at us every now and then, shock still evident on her pretty face. I guess because I knew that gaze was locked on Kaiba that I wanted to cry in the theater right then and there. Guess it's good that I was such a 'tough guy.'
After the show, when we were all getting ready to go our way home, even though you could tell everyone was still weirded out. Hell, Kaiba was being more of an asshole, if possible.
That's when she ran up.
She came up, crying for us to wait, her long white hair flying out behind her, eyes wide with some unknown emotion.
Oh, believe me, we all waited.
I still hope I wasn't bright red right there.
I wanted to cry out to her. I seriously wanted to pick her up, spin her around, and proclaim the love to her that I had been squishing for the past years. Kiss her, hold her, tell her she's safe, and maybe have her smile at me in return. That's all I wanted.
Unfortunately, so did Kaiba.
Heck, even Kaiba to this day doesn't know why the hell he did that. He ran right up to her, and kissed her soundly, in front of all of us. Not to mention some tabloids who were there for the opera, and looked like they had just gotten the golden ticket to happy town.
What broke me though was seeing that smile she gave him.
I felt stupid the next few months, wondering why I ever even hoped for her to be with me. She didn't know me, she knew Kaiba. How could she remember me when I didn't even exist, whereas this man had watched her go countless times in his dreams, and yet I could barely remember her name at times. I caught up in my own self-hatred, and I could tell that I was breaking down.
Thank god for Mai.
It's been at least ten years since then. Mai and I have our second child on the way, and Kaiba and Kisara have their little boy, let alone the rest of the gang and their children.
I still find myself sometimes longing for her, the occasional dream of her haunting my mind. But, I have Mai, and believe me, she's all I want and love. You know why?
Every now and then, maybe when I'm just on a walk and Kisara and I pass each other in the crowd, we'll look at each other, and she'll just smile.
And that's all I was ever asking for.
Hee hee. Babbleshipping bunny. ;;
It's not the best, but I wanted to act on the little story idea I had before it left me. I don't really think I was good at capturing Jou, but I tried. ;;
And yes. One sided feelings. Whoo.
Somewhat inspired by 'Somewhere Out There' by Our Lady Peace.
Oh well. :x
Hope you like.
-tani-chan