The Ghost
By Maggie Williams
Disclaimer: The play "Hamlet" and it's characters belong to Shakespeare. The reincarnated ghost belongs to me as does the blocking for "what really happened."
"Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Mr. H's caravan of traveling players!" The tall man in the top hat gave an elaborate bow and exited majestically through a side curtain. The actors came onto the stage and began their task of enwinding the audience in the play. Lines echoed around to the back of the stage and found the ears of the manager who was now slumped against the caravan looking tired and worn, not at all like the vibrant and mysterious man he had been a moment before.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." He mutters to himself running a hand through his hair. "Who would have thought that a bit of sibling rivalry would have started this." He looks up to the sky, as if speaking to the moon. "I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised that the story got out, it was too fantastic to stay secret. It's all my fault, really. If I had been a little more careful or patient... well it's too late for that now." He keeps talking, as if he owes the moon an explanation for his musings. "I'm sure you know the play Hamlet, Just a load of gibberish written by some old bald guy. right? Wrong, everything in it was real, well based on a real, if forgotten, event. I'll tell you what really happened, then you can judge for yourself."
"First you need to know who I am. I am, sorry, I was His Majesty King Hamlet (Sr.) of Denmark. Better known as The Ghost. It says in the play that my brother blamed my death on a snake bite. Really! How stupid can you get! That, is what killed our father. When I became king the first thing I did was hire a snake exterminator. Then I had a lot of snake eating creatures imported. So you can see, a snake bite would have been quite impossible in my garden. Even worse was all that business with the henbane in my ear. It was into my mouth that he poured it. I have asthma and I sleep with my mouth open."
"Being dead wasn't all that bad, even if I was stuck in Purgatory. All I had to do there was sit and think about my sins. I didn't have many sins to think about. I may not have been perfect but I was still a pretty good guy."
"However, thinking is an activity you can do for only so long. I was now discovering the boring part of the afterlife, and I was rather lonely. I started getting restless, and tried to get into Heaven, when that failed I tried to sneak back to earth for a visit. The angels must of gotten fed up with me because they finally gave me The Choices. There were three of them, and it was hard picking between them. The first choice was to stay were I was and wait the three hundred years it would take me to get into Heaven. That one was out right away. I was sick of waiting. The second choice was to be reincarnated. I thought about it but decided against it. I wanted to be able to see my family if I went back to earth, and I wanted them to recognize me. That would not happen if I was reincarnated. That left the third choice. The third choice was to become a ghost and ask a relative to avenge me so I could go to Heaven. It was perfect! I would be able to see my family once more and when it ended I would go to Heaven. So the very next night I went back to earth."
"I never meant to frighten those soldiers. I had been crossing the court yard going back to my garden when that stupid gong rang the twelve o'clock hour. I had forgotten about that bell and it startled me into visibility right in front of those poor soldiers. It happened the same way the next night, and the night after.
The third night I knew I was in trouble. The soldiers had brought a scholar with them. One I recognized as a friend of my son's. They must have told on me, because the next night my son came along with them. Right away I got excited. This was the first time anyone in my family had seen me as a ghost, and he was the very person I could ask to avenge me."
The man stops here and takes a swig out of a bottle of whiskey. " It says in the play that I beckoned him to go with me. Alas, it was not so dignified as that. In my excitement I grabbed Hamlet's arm and stated pulling him along with me, towards the garden where I knew I could talk with him alone.
But those stupid friends of his, they grabbed onto his other arm and tried to stop him going. So there we were, two grown men, and a ghost playing tug-of-war with my son, the prince of Denmark. After an hour his friends finally let go and I got him to the garden.
It was almost dawn so I had to hurry. I didn't want the entire castle to know I was back as a ghost. I sat him down and explained what his uncle had done to me, and the position I was in and I made it very clear what he was supposed to do about it. I then said an impressive farewell and went invisible. Just in time to escape his friends. My son made them swear to secrecy. They were very stubborn about it and I had to yell at them to swear the oath four times before they obeyed."
"It is never told to people where I went for the week or two after that. I didn't actually go anywhere. I simply stayed invisible and followed my son around while getting increasingly frustrated. Hamlet did a very good job of pretending to be mad, but it didn't really accomplish anything. Now I know that he did it because he needed to be out of harms way while he tested to see whether or not Claudius was guilty as I had said. It hurt my feelings to hear that he hadn't trusted my word at first but I got over it. Anyway, the fact remained that if he didn't get revenge soon Elsinore would be stuck with a resident ghost and none of us would have good afterlife."
"What really made me lose my temper was when he started being rude to his mother. I reappeared and yelled at him to shape up or else, then I told him to apologize to his mother. He did as I told him. I hung around a while intending to talk to Gertrude after he left but she could neither see nor hear me so I disappeared and went to the garden to sulk."
"That was the last time I appeared in the castle. Hamlet did succeed eventually, but he took half the court with him. Meaning they all died. I had not intended that to happen at all but the way things fell out it was inevitable."
"So Claudius went to hell where he belonged and the rest of us went to Heaven. After it had all been explained we lived, figuratively speaking, happily ever after."
"Now I've been reincarnated as a player, like the one that proved my brother guilty, only to find that our story has been transformed over the centuries. Transformed, into a load of gibberish written by an old, bald, guy."
By Maggie Williams
Disclaimer: The play "Hamlet" and it's characters belong to Shakespeare. The reincarnated ghost belongs to me as does the blocking for "what really happened."
"Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Mr. H's caravan of traveling players!" The tall man in the top hat gave an elaborate bow and exited majestically through a side curtain. The actors came onto the stage and began their task of enwinding the audience in the play. Lines echoed around to the back of the stage and found the ears of the manager who was now slumped against the caravan looking tired and worn, not at all like the vibrant and mysterious man he had been a moment before.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." He mutters to himself running a hand through his hair. "Who would have thought that a bit of sibling rivalry would have started this." He looks up to the sky, as if speaking to the moon. "I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised that the story got out, it was too fantastic to stay secret. It's all my fault, really. If I had been a little more careful or patient... well it's too late for that now." He keeps talking, as if he owes the moon an explanation for his musings. "I'm sure you know the play Hamlet, Just a load of gibberish written by some old bald guy. right? Wrong, everything in it was real, well based on a real, if forgotten, event. I'll tell you what really happened, then you can judge for yourself."
"First you need to know who I am. I am, sorry, I was His Majesty King Hamlet (Sr.) of Denmark. Better known as The Ghost. It says in the play that my brother blamed my death on a snake bite. Really! How stupid can you get! That, is what killed our father. When I became king the first thing I did was hire a snake exterminator. Then I had a lot of snake eating creatures imported. So you can see, a snake bite would have been quite impossible in my garden. Even worse was all that business with the henbane in my ear. It was into my mouth that he poured it. I have asthma and I sleep with my mouth open."
"Being dead wasn't all that bad, even if I was stuck in Purgatory. All I had to do there was sit and think about my sins. I didn't have many sins to think about. I may not have been perfect but I was still a pretty good guy."
"However, thinking is an activity you can do for only so long. I was now discovering the boring part of the afterlife, and I was rather lonely. I started getting restless, and tried to get into Heaven, when that failed I tried to sneak back to earth for a visit. The angels must of gotten fed up with me because they finally gave me The Choices. There were three of them, and it was hard picking between them. The first choice was to stay were I was and wait the three hundred years it would take me to get into Heaven. That one was out right away. I was sick of waiting. The second choice was to be reincarnated. I thought about it but decided against it. I wanted to be able to see my family if I went back to earth, and I wanted them to recognize me. That would not happen if I was reincarnated. That left the third choice. The third choice was to become a ghost and ask a relative to avenge me so I could go to Heaven. It was perfect! I would be able to see my family once more and when it ended I would go to Heaven. So the very next night I went back to earth."
"I never meant to frighten those soldiers. I had been crossing the court yard going back to my garden when that stupid gong rang the twelve o'clock hour. I had forgotten about that bell and it startled me into visibility right in front of those poor soldiers. It happened the same way the next night, and the night after.
The third night I knew I was in trouble. The soldiers had brought a scholar with them. One I recognized as a friend of my son's. They must have told on me, because the next night my son came along with them. Right away I got excited. This was the first time anyone in my family had seen me as a ghost, and he was the very person I could ask to avenge me."
The man stops here and takes a swig out of a bottle of whiskey. " It says in the play that I beckoned him to go with me. Alas, it was not so dignified as that. In my excitement I grabbed Hamlet's arm and stated pulling him along with me, towards the garden where I knew I could talk with him alone.
But those stupid friends of his, they grabbed onto his other arm and tried to stop him going. So there we were, two grown men, and a ghost playing tug-of-war with my son, the prince of Denmark. After an hour his friends finally let go and I got him to the garden.
It was almost dawn so I had to hurry. I didn't want the entire castle to know I was back as a ghost. I sat him down and explained what his uncle had done to me, and the position I was in and I made it very clear what he was supposed to do about it. I then said an impressive farewell and went invisible. Just in time to escape his friends. My son made them swear to secrecy. They were very stubborn about it and I had to yell at them to swear the oath four times before they obeyed."
"It is never told to people where I went for the week or two after that. I didn't actually go anywhere. I simply stayed invisible and followed my son around while getting increasingly frustrated. Hamlet did a very good job of pretending to be mad, but it didn't really accomplish anything. Now I know that he did it because he needed to be out of harms way while he tested to see whether or not Claudius was guilty as I had said. It hurt my feelings to hear that he hadn't trusted my word at first but I got over it. Anyway, the fact remained that if he didn't get revenge soon Elsinore would be stuck with a resident ghost and none of us would have good afterlife."
"What really made me lose my temper was when he started being rude to his mother. I reappeared and yelled at him to shape up or else, then I told him to apologize to his mother. He did as I told him. I hung around a while intending to talk to Gertrude after he left but she could neither see nor hear me so I disappeared and went to the garden to sulk."
"That was the last time I appeared in the castle. Hamlet did succeed eventually, but he took half the court with him. Meaning they all died. I had not intended that to happen at all but the way things fell out it was inevitable."
"So Claudius went to hell where he belonged and the rest of us went to Heaven. After it had all been explained we lived, figuratively speaking, happily ever after."
"Now I've been reincarnated as a player, like the one that proved my brother guilty, only to find that our story has been transformed over the centuries. Transformed, into a load of gibberish written by an old, bald, guy."