Sweet Decadence
Author's Note: I'm an avid lover of Mello/Sayu, so I thought I would write a piece to this underrated pairing. Dedicated to anyone who shares the same love for Mello/Sayu as I.
Sayu was always surpassed by her brother. Light Yagami, the beloved son (brother) of the family, the brilliant prodigy who would revolutionize the world. Then there was Sayu, the average girl inevitably underneath the looming shadow of her brother. That was the natural progression of things; it was something Sayu always accepted, almost with weary resignation and without question. Besides her brother's perfection, she used to believe in God, in fate, though when she encountered Mello, her entire worldview profoundly crumbled.
She wasn't sure what compelled her to the young Mafia leader, the psychopathic blond with golden locks crowning his head like a regal halo and an intricate rosary hung around his neck. He was the embodiment of profound madness wearing the guise of an angel--something in his eyes reflected some Cyclopean terror of the human subconscious that should never be fathomed by a stable mind. God no longer embodied himself as the omnipotent entity she read in the Bible, but as the leather-clad blond.
Yet, Sayu knew somewhere deep inside herself that she shared the same insanity he personified. She was unstable; she was distantly aware of this fact, yet she was far past the point of caring.
She stopped caring when Mello tortured her.
She stopped caring when Mello made her bleed.
But most importantly, she stopped caring when Mello ravaged her virginity.
Perhaps it was inescapable--Sayu should've known the course of things would ultimately lead to such terrible baser desires. During her course of living up to this momentous event, Sayu was a good girl. A hardworking girl who tried to uphold the morals her family instilled into her impressionable mind. She never drank, never smoked, never did drugs. After being raised by an essentially good family, it would've frightened Sayu on how easily she accepted the transactions forced upon her if she hadn't numbed herself to chaotic reality.
It hurt at first, with the virginal blood seeping between her legs in a startling scarlet color, the hymen plucked with one cruel thrust inside her recesses. She cried out, though it was an almost grotesque sound somewhere between a moan and an exclamation of surprise. At that moment, during the time their bodies perfectly conformed into one another, Sayu profoundly hated herself. That sound, the sickening carnal sound that reverberated within their enclosed mouths frightened her more than the brutal thrusts, the vampiric biting, the wandering hands that violated and groped her ripening female form.
More than she hated herself, however, wasn't even Mello but her brother. Compared to her brother, Sayu was nothing, no matter how hard she tried. If only her brother wasn't so perfect, if only Sayu could surpass that model of perfection, if only…
If only she could have prevented this from happening.
Yet everything was set into motion--no crucifix in the end could redeem their sinful indulgence. If there was a God, Sayu, for a single moment, reveled in the beautiful blasphemy occurring between Mello and her. Of course, she didn't consciously think that, no--Sayu would've been horrified at herself for finding enjoyment in such perversity. Hadn't her family raised her better than that?
Yet, by this point, Sayu stopped caring about that too.
Anything that ever mattered no longer held any particular significance. This leather-clad God, this broken Messiah with a rosary around his neck, melded his body inside her own, plunging deep inside to unleash his seed, his haunting memory bound into the vessel of her flesh. The streaming warmth eventually ceased when he drew out, leaving a silvery trail behind. Mello bound her, the Virgin, with a dog collar halo across her neck; broken hymen of innocence lost, unholy lips opened in mute sacrilege.
Sayu remained limp, unresisting when the weight of his body lifted away from her smaller frame. Her eyes stared into his own, glazed over with some calm recognition. The deed had been done; both Sayu Yagami and Mihael Keehl bonded together with one another, tied together by a sick obsession, a compulsive need, almost sinful in the heated fervor of their bodies. Mello wasn't her superhuman lover or romancing Romeo, nor was Sayu his beloved Virgin Mary, but both of them were bound together by this unholy transgression.
Virginity ravaged, innocence lost, paradise now delusion, the gravity of everything that happened would weigh down on Sayu for the rest of her life, perhaps far beyond when both Mello and her transcended to the realm of eternal damnation; all the while, she suffocated on her own guilty indulgences as the halo noose tightened across her neck. If there was an afterlife, if there was a God, if there was a Devil, what did Sayu care as long as Mello plunged into Hell with her.