Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! This little winter oneshot was inspired by Remioromen's song Konayuki, which was featured in the amazing Japanese drama 1 Litre of Tears. I love that drama--I really suggest you watch it! It is so beautifully written--it will make you sob.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Why? Why does God take away people? Why is he responsible for their deaths? Why does he take them away from the people who love them most and the people they love most? I don't think I'll ever find out the reason why.
I started wondering about that after your death. It's been what, ten years? Do you remember the time we spent together, Sasuke-kun? I hope you do. . . I do.
Powdered-snow, within the revolving seasons
We always miss each other
Although we got separated within the crowd,
We look into the same sky
Blown in the wind,
We feel the same chills
- - -
Everything about you,
I guess I don't really know
Even so, from one hundred million
I still found you
Although I'm not really sure,
I'm seriously thinking about it
You want to know how many times I've been prank called and I actually believed it? Many. There was this one time I got a call from this guy, claiming to be my brother that just got arrested. So I ran out of my house only to remember that I was an only child.
I guess you could say I'm too honest for my own good. Some people even call me stupid, but that's not true. I just believe honesty is the best policy. Is something wrong with that? I can't really remember a time when I lied. It's good karma if I don't lie anyways.
"Onee-chan!" Aika (one of my boss's patients) said while running up to me.
"Hey, Aika! How are you?" I responded, now smiling. Aika had a pink vest on with blue jeans. The poor child had leukemia and went through a lot of chemotherapy so, like everyone, she was bald.
"Not good. I got recharged!" she told me.
"Recharged? No kidding!" I said with sorrow. My heart skipped a beat. This wasn't fair to Aika, she never did anything to deserve this disease!
"Just kidding! Ha ha! You're so gullible!" she said and ran off.
"Sakura! What are you doing out here?" Tsunade-sama said to me in an angry tone. I jumped a little and got up from the bench I sat on. The outside weather was chilly. Blowing winds ruffled my clothes and blew my hair in different directions.
"Hey, you have a new patient." Tsunade-sama informed me. I walked with her to the elevator to meet this new patient of hers. I wondered who the patient was going to be? A boy or a girl? How old? Ten? Would he or she have a fatal condition? I usually get patients that require casts or stitches. For once I wanted a child with a deadly condition so I could assist in some way in saving her.
As the elevator pulled us up to the tenth floor I glanced at Tsunade-sama quickly. Her expression was never happiness. Even though she's a doctor and sees death everyday. . . shouldn't she smile? Does she? She should be able to. Tons of other doctors I worked with smile, but she never did. Maybe because of something that happened in her past. She was somewhat mean, but she I still held my respect for her.
I followed her down the hard and vacant hallways. She stopped at room 302. I was very eager to meet this new patient. "Good afternoon--"
Tsunade-sama stopped in mid-sentence. Her mouth was open, and I peered over her shoulder to see what the woman was gaping at. No one was in the hospital room, only the regular furniture. The bed was messed up, so you could tell someone was in there previously.
"What? Where the hell did he go?" Tsunade-sama muttered.
I opened my mouth to say something but she just turned around, her brows furrowed. "Sakura, go take your break while I'll try to find him. I'll see you in a hour--just meet me in my office," she ordered, sternly and practically ran off.
What the hell! I'm just a volunteer and all but I could handle looking for someone. I always thought Tsunade-sama didn't give me enough responsibility but this is stupid! My mother and father are doctors--I can handle stuff like this! I stormed off into the elevator, my destination being the cafeteria.
I sat and ate my tuna sandwich, with some sliced apples and granola cracker packed tightly into my black bentou box. I ate slowly as insults fired at Tsunade-sama in my head. It was a nice day, a slight wind and a clear blue sky. I watched the people go by, lovers, parents, young adults, and children passed me in a matter of twenty minutes. Then, I spotted him. He struck me as odd because he was wearing a Konoha Hospital bracelet.
I frowned, if he's a patient he should be inside. I stood up and walked over to him. "Hey, are you a patient in the hospital?" I asked him. He looked up at me with angry eyes.
"Why do you care?"
"Because I work for the hospital--"
"You look to young to work for it,"
"I'm a volunteer and if you're a patient you need to go back inside right now!"
"If you're a volunteer then you don't have authority," he said and tore off his hospital bracelet, threw it to the floor, and walked off.
I grabbed the bracelet and looked at the name: Sasuke Uchiha. I didn't follow him.
---
If slight quarrels may lose our laughters
Then we must not live in the same moment of time
If we can't be honest to each other
Happiness and sadness are just empty things
---
I was walking down the hallway when I saw Sasuke looking at the newborn babies through the window. I dove behind the wall and peered around the corner. Sasuke's expression was--once again--content. No smile, no sign of emotion. I waited a minute or two until I summoned the courage to approach him.
"Sasuke?" I asked. He brought his eyes from the babies to me. I cringed under his gaze. I was almost intimidated by him.
"What the hell do you want?" He snapped.
"W-What are you doing?" I stammered.
"Looking," he replied, no very calm. He turned his attention back to the nursery.
I frowned. "That's not what I meant."
No reply.
I let out a frustrated sigh. "They're cute, aren't they?" I asked him, looking at the babies. There was ten boys and seven girls, who were all sleeping peacefully.
"No. Babies are only cute to their creators," he said with a hint of a smirk. Honestly, that was the most emotion he's shown.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?" I snapped back "The fact that they're alive is the beautiful thing,"
"Life isn't beautiful,"
"Then you shouldn't be living,"
One month passed and it was now late November. All the leaves were almost off the trees and I traded my jacket for my puffy coat. One snowy day, when I was walking home, I saw Sasuke. He was only wearing a black jacket and his regular jeans. No gloves, no scarf. He looked cold. His face was pale, too.
I just stood there for a minute, trying to debate if I should go over to him. He was such a jerk! But I wanted to give him a piece of my mind! People rushed past as I stood on the busy sidewalk.
"Hey!" I yelled at him.
He didn't look up at me. No response, nothing. I figured he was just ignoring me. "Sasuke?"
I poked him lightly on the arm. No response. Stop acting like this, Sasuke! Wake up! I shook him harder. No response.
Although I say that I want to understand,
But I can only stroke the surface of my words
Even your hands that have become cold,
Only by holding them tightly, we were connected
---
Sasuke was unconscious and it turned out he had leukemia. I immediately regretted what I said before when we were in the nursery. I stayed away, though. I think he would like distance between us. I wanted to apologize but I thought he was going to say 'you're not sorry'.
I sat in his room, watching him sleep. This was the second week he had been unconscious and the second week in a row I've visited him. It was snowing wildly outside--only about ten degrees. His chest went up and down at a slow rate. He also wore a hat, you know, the ones that chemotherapy patients wear? Yeah, you heard me right. His face was pale and his eyes were darker than usual.
I noticed that none of his family came in to visit him. Were they alive or just didn't care? Family and friends make time in the hospital bearable. So I sat there on my days off. Tsunade-sama only came in once, and she figured I was just talking to Sasuke because I'm like that, but that wasn't the reason.
I sat in the car next to his hospital bed, a breathing mask and some IVs were connected to him.
"Sasuke, I'm sorry."
As soon as I said that the monitors started to beep. His chest didn't rise and fall. It was the end.
Ever since that night I studied harder to become a nurse. The time I spent with Sasuke are memories that I will cherish--they're dark memories but I'll still cherish them.
Powdered snow, until our hearts become white-dyed
Let us meet so that we can share our loneliness
END.