Title: Expectations
Rating: PG
Universe: Beast Wars, smooshed somewhere along season 1
Warnings: just a very confused monkey
Summary: Of all the things Optimus expected to see coming out of the CR chamber, this most certainly was not one of them.
Notes: Dinobot and Rattrap are the poster mechs for an angsty relationship. Sparks should be hurting, tears should be flowing. And what do I get out of them? Nothing but fluff! Twice!

Optimus hated the CR chamber. Partly because it meant he had done something stupid and had to be repaired. But mostly, it simply felt like a colossal waste of time, sitting in there doing nothing but recharging for hours on end while it initiated repairs. He would have much preferred an actual medic to be doing the work. At least then he would have someone to talk to, or still be able to give orders when they were needed. But the injuries he'd sustained during their last skirmish with Megatron were too much for their almost-medic Rhinox to handle, so he was suspended in stasis for who knew how long in a metal shoe box. (He would never admit it, of course, but the chamber always managed to make him feel the teensiest bit claustrophobic.)

At long last, a message scrolled across his HUD, alerting him that his repairs had been finished. Relieved, he used the internal controls to open the chamber, waiting for the door to hiss all the way open before he stepped out.

"Hey hey!" came the familiar voice of Rattrap. "The monkey-mech lives! How ya feelin', big guy?"

"Fine, I—"

Optimus froze. He had turned to face Rattrap and found him sitting in his usual seat at the monitors, his usual virtual game pulled up in the corner of one of the screens, his usual slag-eating grin on his faceplates. The only thing unusual was that Dinobot seemed to have already been employing the use of the chair, a fact that did not appear to bother the rat in the slightest. He was comfortably settled in the raptor's lap, one arm thrown backwards and curled around the larger warrior's neck. Dinobot seemed equally at ease, one hand resting on the spy's hip plating, the claws of the other slowly running up and down his side.

Optimus could do little more than stand there, mouthplates agape, and stare. Dinobot's customary glare was turning into a rather confused look, and he appeared to be just about to say something when Cheetor walked into the command center and spotted Primal.

"Big Bot!" he said cheerfully, stepping into Optimus's line of view. "Good to see you outta there! You feeling better?"

Optimus's processor's finally caught up to him. He looked down at Cheetor, forcing himself to smile – though he was sure it came out as more of a grimace – at the young bot.

"Yes, thank you," he responded. He spared a glance back at Dinobot and Rattrap before asking the cheetah, "How… uh, how have things been aboard?"

"Oh, everything's great," he assured Primal. "We hit the Preds as hard as they hit us, so they've been pretty quiet."

"Sulking, more like," Rattrap sniggered. "You was outta it by then, but Rhinox hit ol' Megs a good one right in the aft as they was startin' the retreat."

"A dishonorable shot," Dinobot growled. "Megatron had already admitted his defeat and had called off the attack."

"Like the Pred-heads wouldn'a done the same thing," Rattrap scoffed. "Fact, I'm pretty sure they have."

"So we are to lower ourselves to their standards?" the raptor snarled.

"This comin' from an ex Predicon himself?" Rattrap quipped. "Forgive me for laughing, but HA!"

"Anyways," Cheetor said loudly, cutting off the exchange of insults, "we've all fully recovered. Took Rhinox a while to handle the big stuff, but self repairs have got us all in working order."

Optimus was in shock. Cheetor acted as though Dinobot and Rattrap – Dinobot and Rattrap – were not just ten feet behind him, shamelessly snuggling. And Dinobot, throughout the entire little exchange, had not stopped stroking Rattrap's side. Gently. Lovingly. As they fought. Optimus simply could not process it.

"Where's Rhinox?" he asked Cheetor quickly.

"Uh, in his quarters, I think, but he said –"

Whatever Rhinox had said was lost to Optimus, as he quickly turned tail and fled the command center, making a beeline for his friend's room. Once there, he pounded on the door, demanding entrance. He could hear a clang and a Cybertronian curse from within, then booming footsteps.

"I thought I told you to leave me –" Rhinox began angrily, then, noticing who it was, stepped to one side. "Optimus! Come on in. Feeling better?"

"No! I'm not!" Optimus exclaimed, storming past the technician and into his disorganized quarters. His answer took Rhinox by surprise.

"You're repairs should have –"

"No, my repairs are fine," Optimus clarified. "It's my CPU."

"What about it?" Rhinox inquired, looking seriously concerned.

"I think it may have just melted."

Concern gave way to confusion. "Oh?"

"I just saw Rattrap." Optimus gave Rhinox a grave look. Rhinox continued to look confused.

"With Dinobot."

The confusion remained.

"Together."

"Optimus, just where are you going with this?" Rhinox asked, genuinely befuddled.

"Have the Pits frozen over?" Optimus burst angrily. "Has the planet we're on suddenly changed orbit? Something drastic has happened. You could stand there and tell me Megatron has been fully converted to a Maximal and I would believe you after what I just saw!"

"Because you saw Rattrap and Dinobot?" Rhinox queried.

"No!" Optimus exclaimed vehemently. "Because I saw Rattrap and Dinobot doing things Rattrap and Dinobot should not be doing! At least not to each other!"

"Were they interfacing in the command center again?" Rhinox growled, scowling deeply.

"What?!"

"I told them to keep it to quarters. Cheetor doesn't need to see that – frag, I don't need to see that. But those two just never seem to think rules apply to them!"

Optimus could actually hear the faint pop! of one of his circuits blowing. He stood there for a full minute, stunned, before he thought to ask a logical question.

"Just how long was I in the CR chamber?"

"Er… the better part of three days," Rhinox responded hesitantly.

"Three da --!" The shock deepened. "Three days, and those two go from being at each others' fuel lines to – to –"

"Yeah," Rhinox confirmed.

"And yet they still – they just – they were still –"

"Fighting like a couple of sparklings?" Rhinox supplied helpfully. "Yeah."

"This is ridiculous," Optimus spluttered. "I don't believe it!"

"My systems can't quite process it either," Rhinox said sympathetically. "It's a lot to take in."

Another pop! from another circuit blowing. Optimus, with what was left of his higher CPU function, made a wise choice. He spun on his heel and headed for the door.

"I'm going to my quarters to recharge," he announced. "Wake me up when the universe makes sense again."