I could feel him coming. My eyes where still on my potions book, chapter 20, and the only noise was the trees swaying, but I still could tell he was coming. I felt him lie on the grass next to me, his eyes never leaving my face. I didn't have to look, I could feel him watching. His fingers brushed down my arm, sending a shiver through me, and he took advantage of my distraction, taking my book, and snapping it shut behind his back. "Hey!" I playfully swatted him on the arm "I need to finish that, or Snape have another reason to comment on how useless I am. He looked into my eyes sharply, catching me by surprise, and causing my breath to hitch. The green pits swirled in front of me, full of determination, as he ran his hand over my side. "You have never, nor will you ever be useless, don't let that git make you think any otherwise". I felt my heart melt, and unconsciously I leaned towards him. I brushed my lips softly over his, and heard him hum. Without thinking I met his eyes again and let out what I had been dying to say for years. "I love you". His eyes filled with concern, and for a minute my heart began to break, dreading his reaction. What if he didn't feel it back? Had I put myself out to be broken? "I love you too" he answered softly. I studied him for a moment. Although he returned my feelings, there was sadness in his eyes which confused me. "So what's the problem then? You look down, but why should you be, we both love each other, it's a nice thing." I questioned him, hurt. He looked me in the eye again, and under his startling gaze I felt my self shiver once more. "You can't fall in love with me, that's the problem love". Without another word, he lay back on the grass, pulling me with him, holding me tight as if someone was about to tear me from him that moment. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------The train swerved slightly to the left, causing me to bump my head on the window, snapping me out of my memory. A tear runs slowly down my cheek, as our last meeting runs over and over in my head. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"What do you mean I can't come?!" I screeched, sounding remarkably like my mother. My head was spinning with the information I had just been given, and I could feel my eyes blur with tears. "Its too dangerous Ginny, I don't want you to get hurt!" he bellowed back at me, pulling his hair in frustration. Silence followed this statement and we both looked to the ground, scared to meet each others eyes. How could he do this to me? The was no way he would stay behind if I was the one who had to go fight. Why was it different for me? Why was I expected to accept what he says, and stay home like a good little girl? Couldn't he see, by keeping me in the dark he was hurting me more. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can feel the tears flowing freely down my cheeks now, and I thank Merlin I decided to sit in a compartment alone. Its not like there wasn't enough free, this year was going to be very different at Hogwarts; most people hadn't been aloud to come back. Sitting here iv relized that I need to give up on Harry Potter. We where almost there, I thought it was going to work, but I was wrong. It was a hopeless dream, a luckless romance; he showed me that the day he left me to save the world, the day he told me I couldn't help. He broke my heart. He always has. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was the Christmas Hogsmeade trip and I was walking through the busy streets, dodging frantic shoppers and hyper teenagers. The snow covered the ground and the roofs of the shops, making it look like a fairytale village. As the wind tinged my cheeks pink, I couldn't help let a smile grace my features, and pull myself further under Harry arm in an attempt to shelter myself. Soon we were at the shrieking shack and smiling Harry pulled me around to face him. Pulling me close, we began to sway, and I laid my head on his chest, enjoying our private dance. He softly kissed my lips, bringing his hands to my face, forcing me to look in his eyes. "Ill never forget this, no matter what". I knew why he was saying this. We were in the middle of a war, and neither one of us knew how it would end. The thought of something breaking us apart tore me up inside, and tears began to run down my face. I had never really been a crier, always been quiet tough after growing up with six brothers, but lately it was all I seemed to do. He began to kiss away all my tears, murmuring in to my face as he did. "Ill never forget, never ever, ill never forget". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I knew I would never forget. But while picking up the broken pieces of my heart, I had to be strong. I could feel the train coming to a halt, and knew it was time for the game face. No one must know how I am feeling, no one can ever see my weakness during this war, no one can ever see me broken, or I am never going to survive. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We had been arguing for hours. The sun was starting to creep across the common room floor through the window, alerting me to how much time had actually passed. No one dared come down stairs and cross us. We were left to our own war, while the rest of the world worried about the real one, the one that mattered to them. Finally I looked up, and I knew that my welfare wasn't the only reason for his plans for me; he must not love me anymore. "You know I would never hurt you this way, I love you. I thought you would want the same for me." Feeling my strong wall for my emotions fall, I ran from the room, ran from the castle, ran from the boy who lived and the love of my life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wonder if he knows how much this is killing me. How much coming back to Hogwarts makes it all more real. I can't go near the lake, without thinking about the first time we admitted our love for each other, under the tree. I can't walk the streets of Hogsmeade without remembering how he held me in his arms, kissing my tears away. Every morning I wake up, wondering if he's alright, if he's safe, if he's alive? His face haunts my dreams every night. All this time I wonder, what did I do to make it that easy for you to walk in and out of my life, when its killing me inside.