June 10, 2015
Miley giggled as she took another swig of vodka, trying hard not to stumble and fall down. Her once bright light shade of purple room was now covered with nothing but darkness. The red letters on the digital clock indicated that she's been drinking for hours. There were bottles of scotch, beer, and wine all over the place, which made it even harder for Miley to walk around her without tripping.
So when she fell over a still half full vodka bottle, it wasn't really surprising.
"Oops!" Miley giggled even more. She flipped her dyed blond hair, trying to get a better view of the mess she just created. Shrugging off the guilt, she walked, actually more like staggered towards the walk-in closet to change her wine stained tank top. While reaching for another black tank top, her vision suddenly blurred, and instead of her targeted clothing, she yanked out a bag full of unused clothing, which, by the way, was supporting all the other piles of stuff she now couldn't even identify.
Or so she thought.
Her little fit of giggles died down as she slowly picked up a plain brown box full of nothing-in-particular junks. Or her collection of every single things that was related to her former lover.
Not Justin, not Liam, and not especially Patrick.
Nicholas Jerry Jonas.
She softly tore off the silver duct tape used to secure the contents, occasionally blowing off some dusts. She hadn't seen this box for at least a year, so the dust was piled up the box. The first thing she saw was an old Levi's t-shirt, the one she mentioned in her 7 things lyrics. Then an orange, itchy fabric came in contact with her palms. She snatched it up. The itchy feeling still was as unappealing, but the scent of his cologne mixed with dusty smell pushed her over the edge, a single tearthreatening to fall.
June 11, 2006
When she caught a glimpse of a certain curly haired boy, she was determined to meet him. So when she finally did so, all she could do was to stare in to that gorgeous chocolate orbs. So, despite herself usually being all friendly and confident to others, she almost stuttered. Offering him a genuine smile, she just felt right.
Completed.
And that's how their full circle started on its wheel.
June 10, 2015
When she started hanging out with the Jonas Brothers and dated Nick, she thought as if she was in a fairytale. Like as if she was a real Disney princess and Nick being her own Prince Charming. And that it would last forever. That their love would last forever. Every moments with him, their kisses, everything.
Miley touched her lips, and swore to herself that she could still feel his tender, yet passionate lips over her own. It might have been a few years, or months, she couldn't really tell, since she last spoke to him, but some things just don't get old.
But some things just don't stay forever.
We had it all, destined to fall
Our love was tragical.
She felt a pang of hurt on her chest as she recalled all those hurtful songs she didn't really mean towards him.
The 7 things I hate about you!
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks, and when you act like them, just know it hurts.
I wanna be with the one I know.
And the 7th thing, I hate the that you do
You make me love you.
Oh, those song wars. All those unnecessary lyric changes. She knew very well that she was hurting him. And that she was hurting herself, too.
Hurting so much.
A sob ripped out of her mouth as she recalled all those nights of crying herself to sleep every single night when she sang all those painful words to him. She just couldn't bear the hurt, the pain.
She wiped her tear-stained cheeks and picked up his dog tag.
He doesn't wear it anymore.
She knew that. That Nick thought that he was old and responsible enough for dog tags. But she still worried. Even after all those fucking pains, she still did. When she had literally nothing to do, or think, her mind always drifted off to him. She would worry about him endlessly until she suddenly realizes that she has no rights to. However, as years passed, she began to feel numb, and the nights of crying herself to sleep while clutching his dog tag reduced in number. But every time she tore this damned box open, it brought her back to square one.
All the time.
Now the tears were falling continuously, but she didn't mind to wipe them off. There was no point in doing so. Wiping off one tear made only two more to fall down. Like… What was that monster in Greek Mythology? The evil organization in Avengers: Age of Ultron.
Ah! Hydra.
As she faced the various pictures of her and Kevin, Joe, and Nick on the tour, all the still fresh memories haunted her down. It was truly heaven like. Nothing worried her.
At least at first.
An ordinary tour night, 2007
"MILEY!" Joe yelled throughout the bus. Kevin groaned, and looked up from his phone, looking at a too innocent looking Miley. Shaking his head sideways, Kevin chuckled.
"What did you do this time?" Kevin questioned her jokingly, but only earned a shrug from the mischievous teenage girl.
"Shut up, DJ Danger!" A voice called out from the back of the bus, obviously Nick, sending both Miley and Kevin to laughter. Soon enough, Joe came running in to the kitchen they were currently at, looking all red and pouty.
"Kevin!" Roared Joe's whiny voice, which made Kevin flinch.
"Yes, Joseph?" Kevin stifled a laugh.
"LOOK!" Then came Joe's comb, his favorite comb, covered with chocolate.
"What the…?" It was Nick, Kevin was too stunned to say anything.
All the members of the band stared at Miley accusingly, who was innocently typing a text to Mandy on her phone.
"Oh no. You're not getting off it so easily." Joe tackled her from her chair, which made her fall to the ground with a loud thump.
Too bad for Joey that there was a sharp nail on the floor, which obviously scathed Miley's knee.
"Ow!" Miley groaned in pain, sending the brothers to alert.
Nick practically leaped towards her, pushing Joe out of the way in process. He was on her side in seconds. Kneeling by her side, he checked the fresh cut, now oozing with red blood. Kevin mentally slapped Joe on the back of his head, running for a first aid kit.
"I'm sooooo sorry!" Joe wailed.
"I'm fine, Joey. Don't cry." Miley muttered sarcastically, yet sincerely.
"Let me see." Kevin, now holding an ointment and a bandage, ordered her.
"For the record, it was really not me. It was Noah and Frankie together." Realization hit Joe's face as his brothers sent him a deadly glare.
"What? You guys also thought that it was her!" Kevin and Nick only shook their heads. Nick kissed her forehead, whispering some soothing word to her ears. Even with her injured knee, all Miley felt was love and happiness.
Now it is all gone and left her nothing but hollowness.
June 10, 2015
Miley picked up another picture of her and the brothers accompanied by Demi, taken when she and Demi first met. When she went to Canada to surprise her lover.
2007, in Canada, at the set of Camp Rock
"Miles!" Joe whisper-hissed, taken aback when he saw her hiding on their trailer.
"What the fuck are you doing in our trailer, in Canada?"
"I thought Kevin told you."
"No, he didn't. How could I not see it coming? Obviously you two love birds couldn't stay away from each other more than a week."
"Shut up, Joey." Joe got a slap from her, and groaned.
"Ow! Woman, you're strong!" Miley rolled her eyes. All of a sudden, Kevin ran in to their trailer, shutting the door close behind him.
"Code Red! Nick knows that we're up to something and on his way to the trailer!" Panicking, Miley searched for an appropriate place to hide. She succeeded in the mission as she heard footsteps closing by, and dived for their make-shift closet.
The door barged open, soon revealing Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas himself.
"Hey guys! What's up?" Demi high-fived Joe, secretly winking towards Kevin. Yes, Demi was in this surprise project as well.
"Nothing. Just chilling out." Came Joe's too-soon reply, which made Miley inwardly groan. And they call themselves actors and actress?
"Yeah, SURE." Nick snorted. Joe pouted whilst Kevin was doing his best not to laugh. She couldn't really see Nick's facial expressions, but could imagine it very well, full of disbelief. Knowing that they already blew up their little surprise by their spectacular acting skills, Miley sighed softly and sneaked out of the closet. Kevin and Joe's eyes widened at her unexpected action and Demi giggled, which made Nick even more alert.
"What?" Nick questioned them, only to be greeted by Miley's hug. He spun, searching for his one and only lover, and caught her in his arms. He kissed her fully on the lips, making the chills go up and down her spine. They broke off the kiss only when they heard Joe clearing his throat rudely.
"I knew it was you." It was now Miley's turn to snort.
"Sure." Nick smirked.
"Seriously. The coconut scent gave everything away."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." And he trapped her in to his arms again, pulling her in for a bone crushing, yet loving hug. Miley finally felt the emptiness inside her disappear, now filled with Nick's love.
She felt at home, so secured.
She hasn't felt that again recently for years.
December 19, 2007
"I can't believe this." Miley whispered softly, but Nick still could hear her.
"Neither can I. But this isn't working, Miles. It's only tearing us apart." It was hard to catch his words in all those storm and rain, but she did anyways.
"No. You're just running away." Nick sadly admitted, nodding.
"Perhaps I am. But I don't think this is it, Mi. It's not the end. I still love you. I always did, and always will, no matter what. It's just that this relationship between us, it isn't working. Not at all. We fight for the littlest things, Miley. And we stay most of our time apart."
"You can't seriously blame me for that." Miley spat furiously.
"I'm not, Miley. God, I'm not. I know that it's no one's fault. But-" Miley cut him off.
"But what? What, Nick? What? I don't get it. I just don't. And I don't think you can ever convince me on this one. You're just giving up on me. You're giving up on us. You're refusing to fight for us."
"God, Miley. You want the truth? You want it?" Miley nodded harshly, demanding for an answer.
This was it.
"I'm sick of us fighting for practically nothing, then make up, then fight again. This settled for a fucking cycle between us, Miley. I'm sick of people interfere our relationship. The whole people is out for us! We can't even go on a fucking normal date without the damned bodyguards protecting us from people trying to lunge at us. The whole freaking world knows what we did for last night! And if we don't stay 24/7 together and hang out with other friends, they think that we are broken up or having an affair. So, forgive me Miley, but I don't think I can fight for us anymore. Not when the paparazzi are hovering all over us!" Nick spat, soon regretting his hurtful words as he noticed the glisten in her icy, clear blue eyes.
"Miles.." He reached out for her, but she flinched away, heartbroken.
"So…. This is it? It's over?" Miley accused him and Nick could do nothing in the moment but to nod. He later swore to himself that he could practically feel his heart torn.
Miley let out a sob that she held back all this time, and Nick felt a sudden urge to hold her safely in his arms and soothe her with calming words, like always, but knew that the privilege was taken from him just a few seconds ago when he officially called it quit on their relationship. He wasn't sure if it was rain or tears wetting her face.
But one thing was sure.
He lost her.
So he walked away. Leaving her alone in that storm, while she was so vulnerable and broken down.
It was that single decision he regretted most in his life.
June 10, 2015
The month after their breakup was a nightmare she never wanted to face. All she did was crying. But it soon grew numb enough for her to continue and live her life like she doesn't have a large hole in her heart. Like she was actually okay.
The sudden pain was overwhelming and she wanted to run to the bathroom and grab the razor she hadn't obviously been using for a few weeks, but she knew better.
She held back.
She gave the box a look, hesitating to look inside again. She was too scared that it would break her even more. The soul, the happy cheery soul in her long gone, there was already nothing but the broken remains of her once smiley self. And she was quite sure that this mind traveling of her past would shred the pieces of remains in to dust, if that's even possible.
But she did, anyway.
She stared at the sheets of music, all titled and carefully placed inside a file full of music sheets. She went through it slowly.
First came 'Hello Beautiful', followed by 'Love Bug', 'S.O.S', 'Sorry', 'Burnin' up', 'Stay', 'When you look me in the eyes', 'World War Ⅲ', 'Black Keys', and….
'Before the Storm'
The live back at Dallas was impromptu, set up by Joe and Kevin Jonas themselves.
June 20, 2009
standing out in the rain,
knowing that it's really over
please don't leave me alone
Miley couldn't help but to touch him. She just had to.
flooded with all this pain
knowing that I'll never hold ya
like I did before the storm
The emotions were too raw and painful. Overwhelming, to be precise. So she hung her head down, trying her best to hide the tears that started to well up in her eyes. She could feel his worried gaze on her, so she held her head high, trying to meet up to his expectations.
It always worked.
She knew this song was a closure for her, their relationship, and that it was totally necessary. But every time she heard it, it took her to a state of confusion. Especially at times like this, when she finally was so sure she'd gotten over him.
Every time, she realizes that she can never get over him.
But obviously, he could.
June 10, 2015
Miley lastly took out a phone, which was her most recent one. She put it in this box after she got a new one. Probably because it held so much of her memories with him, together. Her phone was a necessity, no matter what, but her last phone really didn't get along with her very much.
Miley instantly groaned as she turned the phone on, finding the photo wall of her and Nick kissing. It triggered so many memories. Painful, yet so memorable.
"You always appear at everywhere, don't ya?" She muttered to no one in particular, but the darkness in the dull room of hers. Only silence was the one who answered her, putting her in to more depression.
Bravely pressing the button which directly leads her to the album, she shut her eyelids harshly, dreading to face her devious past. When she did, she coughed out a sob. She looked so happy in the pictures. The videos of her and Demi putting on some ridiculous acts back at 2010, Joe making fun of her and Nick going all lovey dovey.
She felt the last of her hope die, as she reached to the photo saved at June 11, 2014. It was the picture Olivia posted on her twitter account. Her and Nick reaching out for a kiss.
Maybe she is holding on to nothing.
Maybe it's just too late for them to try to be in love right now.
When they can't.
Miley's body seared with pain, but not actual pain. More like emotional pain. The obviously that goes unnoticed by others, but that hurt the most. She needed release. Release from all these pain. She tried her best to hold back the temptation. She wobbled through the ugly mess she created, to the bathroom door.
She knew for the best that this was so wrong. But she couldn't help it. She just needs it. She hesitated for a second before reaching out for the door knob, the previous phone with the wall paper still in display safely placed on her hands, but at last when she did, she got terrified, not pleasant, unlike usual.
But she knew that it was too late to turn back.
She studied the many scars on her wrists, usually covered expertly by a large amount of foundations and Marc Jacobs concealer. She penetrated the skin with the razor, studying the wine red liquid smearing out of her freshly cut wound. She sighed in relief as she felt the pain. The pain was less than the one in her chest, but this made it more bearable.
She continued on, slicing through her skin, fully knowing that she was slowly losing too much blood. She began to feel light-headed, and the pain dulled.
Her world began to spin and she slowly lost the grasp on her phone that was still on her hands.
The world slowly blacked out, and the last thing she saw before it finally did was her phone suddenly lighting up for no cause, displaying the photo of her and Nick kissing all happily, and the date.
June 11, 2015
"Happy Niley Day."
And that was just one of her ordinary nights.
A/N: O...kay.. So that was my first Niley fic for Niley Day! (Congrats, btw) I always shipped them since 2006, and always will. I'm thinking of continuing this story if it's appreciated... So... WELL... R&R please hehe