YODA AND ODYSSEUS!
Scene 1
Narrator: For a few years nothing happened then something happened. The silent cloud rose silently as the silent people watched in silence, silently. Then some Cubans dropped a nuclear bomb, silently. This caused a nuclear holocaust and a few nuclear meltdowns, which then made a nuclear winter causing everyone to die slowly. This has nothing to do with the story I thought id tell you. The story is about two heroes named Yoda and Odysseus. On the subject of names I have a cat called kitty. He is very cute and when he was a kitten he was naughty, now on with the story. This is how the story begins….
Circes: Please Odysseus, Drink.
Odysseus: Thank you, you are too kind.
Circes: Now I turn you into a pig! #Touches wand to Odysseus. Doesn't work#
Odysseus: Why did you turn my men into pigs?
Circes: You must be Odysseus. Hermes warned me of your arrival.
Odysseus: Why did you to this to my men?
Circes: I don't know…
Odysseus: Turn them back or suffer the wrath of my sword!
Circes: Ok calm down, faggot.
Odysseus: I WILL DESTROY YOU!
#Yoda enters# Yoda: Before you kill Circes you must become one with Circes.
Odysseus: Who the hell are you?
Yoda: Yoda, I am. But really am I here? Decide, you must.
Odysseus: What is that supposed to mean?
Yoda: I don't know. Crazed ugly green creature thing, I am!
Circes: I think I should have a say in me being killed.
Odysseus: Who asked you?
#pigs walk by# Odysseus: MY MEN! I'LL KILL YOU!
Yoda: Give this to you I must. Gift from your father, it is. It is a sword of light.
Odysseus: My father? I never knew my parents….
Yoda: Very close friend to him, I was. He was Scotty from star trek. He is far away now. Searching for new life new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before! Baa baaa babababa baaaaaa doo doo doo doo doo!
#Odysseus and Circes stare blankly#
Odysseus: Anyway where was I? Oh yeah…. MY MEN! YOU HELL BITCH!
Yoda: Baa ba baba ba ba baaaaaaaa baaaaaaa…
Odysseus: Oh I won't kill you I must return to Ithicar.
Yoda: Yes you can if u believe you can, but first destroy the Death Star, must!
Odysseus: Well I suppose this day can't get any wackier.
Yoda: My tooffy loof.
Odysseus: LETS GO YODA!
Circes: I love you Odysseus.