When Remus first saw Sirius, it was on the train to Hogwarts in their first year.
They didn't speak. Their eyes met for a moment, and even though Sirius held his head high and had an air of an arrogant asshole, Remus saw a spark of fear, mischief, and rebellion in those beautiful gray eyes.
They didn't speak until they were both lying in the dormitory for first year boys in Gryffindor. James and Peter had already fallen asleep. They talked for hours about nothing and everything…. mostly about nonsense they witnessed earlier. Only when the moon was high in the sky did they finally go to bed.
Remus fell into a restless sleep that night, his dreams fogged with half-formed thoughts and words left unsaid as they drowned in a river of blood and betrayal. He could hear explosions every once in a while, and screams. Flashes of blue, white, red, and green plagued his thoughts for the whole night.
He didn't remember any of it in the morning.
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When asked, Remus couldn't ever say that he knew of an exact moment when he fell in love with Sirius. It was gradual over the next two years. Little things; the way he ran his fingers through his hair, the sound of his voice, his laughter, and the twinkle in his eyes that was there almost always. His passion for Quidditch and his friends and pranking.
But he knew it for certain in the last four months of his third year.
Sirius hadn't done anything special to trigger it; it was more or less an "ah-ha!" moment. Something had just clicked in his mind and he'd fallen from his chair in his shock and understanding. He knew, suddenly, what he was feeling.
Over the next month or so he managed to keep quiet. But he couldn't help but want to kiss him when they were trudging through the rain to Greenhouse Four. He'd restrained himself; thank Merlin, but only barely.
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Sirius finally realized something was going on. He had hidden in an alcove on the third floor corridor just outside the Charms classroom and waited for Remus to pass. And he did, eventually, with a book in hand. Sirius tugged on his sleeve and pulled him into the alcove, the book falling with a thud to the floor.
Remus stared wide-eyed at the gray-eyed boy as he spoke. "What's been going on with you, mate? You space out for minutes at a time and the last moon was awful. But the next one isn't for another three weeks, so it can't be that, and exams are three months away, so, although that might be bothering you, it wouldn't to this extent."
Remus had forgotten how smart and observant Sirius really was. He played as though he was an idiot, but he passed all of his classes even though he didn't attend most of them. Remus should've known that he'd catch on eventually.
So, he did the only thing he could think of doing since he had forgotten, apparently, how to speak the English language, and kissed Sirius right on the mouth.
Sirius' eyes had widened, Remus knew, because he could feel the boy's eyelashes on his cheek. His mouth was open, so Remus took advantage and stuck his tongue in there. It was only then that Sirius relaxed, oddly enough, and kissed him back. They stayed in the alcove for the rest of the evening, leaving it only when their stomachs wouldn't wait any longer. Sirius had grinned when they pulled apart, and Remus felt his heart flutter.
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Remus remembered their fifth year anniversary. It had quickly become their anniversary of marriage. The whole ceremony was quiet, with only James, Lily, Peter, Marline, Dorcas, Alice, Frank, and Emmeline in attendance. James and Lily were married already, as were Alice and Frank.
But Remus hadn't cared. He had given Sirius fifty reasons why they should go through with it and get married, politics be damned. So they did.
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I can't help myself.