Cereal
Notes: It used to be a joke for part of a very bad fic that I wrote and never published. Now it exists as a very bad fic itself. Be kind :)
Pairing: None, it's not slash.
Rating: PG for slight bad language.
Author: BritGal
Distribution: ; ;
Summary: Ripper always used to do dumb things. Especially when Ethan told him not to.
"Alright," Ethan said, rubbing his temples and trying to hone his budding magical skills, "this should be easy..."
"Define 'should'," Ripper replied between crunches of his Cornflakes.
Ethan looked at his friend in disbelief. The two young men stood in a dark, dank basement, a shining metal pentagram on the ceiling above them, dust lining the shelves of magical bric-a-brac, jars of demon flesh coupled with bottles of blood and there he was in the middle of it all - eating cereal.
"What?" Ripper asked, an innocent look on his face. "I missed breakfast."
"You were still sleeping," Ethan said reprovingly, recalling how a kick in the back had done nothing to wake his partner in crime earlier.
"You want me to starve?" Ripper replied with his mouth full.
"Yes," his friend said firmly. "Now put the bloody bowl down and help me with the ritual!" He was getting agitated, trying to control the magical buildup occurring in his head and arms.
"Fine," Ripper said, setting the bowl down on a low, dusty table and clapping his hands together to build his own energy up. Ethan watched him with envy. Ripper always found it easy to concentrate his magic in a matter of minutes, whilst it could take Ethan an hour to conjure sufficient skills to levitate a pencil. He gritted his teeth, controlling his power.
"Ready?" Ethan asked.
"Ready," the more advanced warlock replied.
They chanted a verse each, Ethan in English and Ripper in Aramaic, raising their arms to the pentagram and allowing the dark matter to gravitate from them towards it. After a few moments of energy release from the friends, a blinding flash knocked them clear out of the way. Ethan shook his head, soothing the spot where he had collided with the wall. He glanced shakily across to Ripper, already on his feet again, wiping the dust from his face and sporting what looked like a splinter. Between them sat a small pile of dirty fur.
"Did it work?" Ripper questioned, advancing towards the heap uncertainly.
"Kick it," Ethan suggested, "find out."
As Ripper edged toward the stable bundle of fur it emitted a low growl. He stopped dead. Ethan rose to his feet and moved to the same distance from it, opposite Ripper. It was best to keep it surrounded.
The fur-pile suddenly unleashed a hellish scream, leaping full force onto Ethan and bearing large, brown spikes which were either claws or teeth. Ethan cried out, batting the fierce creature away. The little beast was relentless, trying to bite (or possibly mate with) Ethan at every opportunity. Ripper caught it under its arms, or legs, depending on whether it was upside-down or not.
"This is it?" Ripper asked calmly, fighting to hold the miniscule monster back.
"Don't blame me!" Ethan said indignantly. "You read the text!"
"Look mate," Ripper said, holding the creature by one leg (which allowed it to rotate of its own free will), "I read that text without a hitch - it's your spell that's the problem."
"Fine, go and re-read your text, and I'll re-do my spell!" Ethan became his inner child, sulking as he often did when something went wrong.
"I think we should get rid of this little bastard first, don't you?" Ripper asked, being compelled towards the table by the tiny forceful furball.
Ethan paused a moment, a puzzled expression forming on his face. "What -" he began, "what's it doing?"
Ripper observed the mass of fur and fluff that he held. It appeared to have a very long tongue, which it had now extended to reach the half-full bowl of Cornflakes. Ripper dropped the creature with an angry exclamation: "That thing is eating my breakfast!" The monster scrambled over to the bowl and began to devour its contents very sloppily.
The two men watched incomprehensibly as the furry pain in the backside finished the lot and curled down as if it was going to sleep. Ripper cocked his head to the side, an observant expression on his face. He finally unleashed a slight grin and turned to Ethan eagerly.
"Can we keep it?"