All That Glitters Is Not Gold

The first story in awhile by Flesheater777

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own the Fullmetal Alchemist or Aladdin franchises. Such are the properties of Funimation and Disney respectively.

Note: This takes place after Conqueror of Shambala.

Chapter I:

A Gilded Edge

It was a mild day in the vicinity of the Red Sea.

Well…

Unless you were to ask Roy Mustang. His face was a deep shade of green as he vomited over the side of the dreadnought, and it's fair to say the contents of his stomach were of a similar colour. "They just had to send me on a naval mission…" As if to make matters worse, a certain musclebound alchemist made his way over to the colonel.

"Are you alright, sir?"

"Just getting my sea legs…"

Armstrong let out a hearty laugh. "So, you lack the iron constitution of an Armstrong! No problem! Behold! The benefits of a diet passed down through generation upon generation of a noble family line such as mine!!!" Ripping of fhis shirt dramatically, he held out a glass full of raw eggs to Mustang, flexing his muscles at any given opportunity. "Drink a glass like this at the start of every morning, and you shall have an immune system that is an impenetrable fortress of loyalty, valour, and strength! Be the envy of your comrades with the new Armstrong diet!"

Mustang lost three days worth of meals in one fell swoop of the muscled madman.

Fortunately, that was when Riza came along with good news. "Sir! We've found something on the scanners!" Roy turned to her, smiling. The fact that she was approaching him was good enough news to him. Armstrong could see the look in their eyes. Muttering 'About time' (or something like that), he made his exit. Riza and Roy now had each other in their arms.

She smiled at him.

He smiled at her.

She smiled at him.

He tired to smile, only to puke all over her. She backed away with a girly "Ewwww!"; a rarity, to be sure.

"Just goes to show how much you care!!!"

"Can't a man treat a woman to lunch?"

Hawkeye growled as she attempted to wipe the slime from her uniform. Then Roy got serious. "You said something about scanners?"

"Yeah. Apparently, ther's something big below us."

"Hmmm… I see. Can we bring it up?"

"It should be simple. Through the remains of the Elric's data, we have some alchemists capable of transmuting without circles."

Within minutes, a pillar of stone erupted from the seas, a bright, shining object atop it. At first, nobody could so much as gaze at it without turning away. Then, one crew member cried "I-I-It's a boat! And it's made entirely out of gold!!!" Everyone strained their eyes toward the thing to find the anonymous crew member's words to be true. After a few minutes of stunned silence, it was Riza who said "Prepare to board." After a few more minutes of stunned silence, it was Roy who whimpered "That was supposed to be my line…"

When they got on the ship, it was Havoc who saw it first. "Is it just me, or is there some sort of prosthetic hand on the deck?" He was pointing to a golden hand with a hooden peg for a handle. Unfortunately, he was also the first to try and grab it. And he grabbed it by the hand. Within seconds, he was transmuted into gold, an expression of sheer horror on his face. Riza yelled "Haaaaaaaaaaavoc! Nooooooo!" and rushed to his side, trying to draw a transmutation circle that would undo the effect… with no avail. Meanwhile, Mustang was thinking I never really cared about him that much anyway…He then went and grabbed the hand by the wooden handle, and, of course, did not turn into gold. "Hmmmm…" He pulled out some of his paperwork and placed it on the floor of the ship, then touched the fingers of the hand to it. As the papers turned to gold, he let out a childish "WOOHOO!"

Needless to say, he received stares from everyone on board.

"What?" He then wrapped the hand in cloth and placed it inside his jacket. "This is a transmutation device of some sort, and I was merely expressing my joy of discovering such a thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am placing this… object… under my own personal study…"

A/N: Whoa! Our favourite colonel has been given the power to turn things into gold! What sort of mayhem could he cause? Find out in Chapter II: The Folly of Midas! R&R!