Just a short little ficlet with no real point.
I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its characters, no profit is being made from this, and no copyright infringement was intended.
Torture. It was torture, holding her in his arms. Well, lightly clasping her waist at nearly arms' length away, that is. When she asked for his help and they had managed to track down the witness who'd saved his life, Logan had allowed himself the pleasure of pretending they were friends again. It was a weakness he had to keep a tight rein on.
He'd gone through too much to let her go and he would not let himself ruin everything just for the sake of seeing something other than contempt or pity in her eyes when she gazed at him.
She was trying hard not to look at him; glancing anywhere but at his face. With a twisted pang in his stomach, Logan followed her example. Veronica was not dancing with him because she wanted to…he had made sure that Veronica would never feel anything remotely like attachment to him again.
It was torture, the longing to tell her the truth. Torture, to swallow the words that might express how much he had loved her; how much he would always love her. Torture, to imagine how she would react if he explained that his actions last summer had been aimed at protecting her. Too many people he cared about had died because of him. It didn't matter that it was probably irrational; it didn't matter that she could probably take care of herself. She was too precious to risk. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to her because of his own damned luck.
I drove you away…I made sure you would never, ever regret breaking up with me. The words formed in his mind but he stubbornly refused to let them go any farther. His plan had worked so well, almost too well. A part of him had hoped she would see through his act, hoped she would never let him drive her away. But that didn't matter anymore.
Didn't Hannah's fate prove that he was not meant to have what he'd once had with Lily? With Veronica? Fate was making sure no other girl would suffer from his own black destiny, and he had no intention of defying it.
Still, with the cheesy decorations around them, with the various levels of love and devotion surrounding them, Logan couldn't help but struggle with his decision. Sweet though it might be to acquire Veronica's forgiveness, he loved her too much to let her be with him. So he accepted the torture…and smiled with grateful relief.