Crack is as crack does. AU and absolute randomness as usual~ I've given up all hope for my humanity.
I do not own the Gray Garden, it belongs to Mogeko, the talented rpg-maker they are.
Body swapping with Wodahs and Grora!
"Mission complete." Wodahs dusted the black blazer she usually wore with a casual brush of the hand, the crystal tubes containing some liquid or the other firmly fastened inside an ornate wooden box. Her precious sister had instructed for her to retrieve it so she would do her bidding.
She adjusted her grip so it would be more secure in her hands.
"Wowie, didn't think ya had it in yer huh, Head Angel." Grora slung an arm around her with an air of amusement.
She stiffened considerably and swatted Grora's arm away. "Kindly refrain from doing that ever again. I do not appreciate being touched by useless trash such as yourself."
"Hahhh? What was that? I think you said you wanted me to do it again? No need to be shy about it!" Grora made a kissy face and tried to get even closer to Wodahs.
Wodahs's normally calm demeanour cracked and she spun around, glaring at the male who was still trying to hug her.
"Now you listen here, I only put up with you because you were so annoyingly persistent but so help me if you continue being this infuriating, I will not hesitate to leave you here alone and return on my own." She jabbed an accusing finger to his chest.
"Mah-mahhh, no need to get so mad~" Grora sung with his hands waving lazily in the air.
"Now don't even think that I would forgive you for having broken my bow from before." His eyes gained a nasty glint to them, as he pointed at her.
"Like I said it was not my fault Yosaf-"
"How's about we take a look see at what Lady Kcalb had us retrieve?" He brushed off her attempt to defend herself, secretly giggling as he appreciated her fuming mad look.
"I don't-"
In Grora's excitement at reaching for the mahogany box, he stretched exaggeratedly, tripping over a huffy Wodahs in the process.
Wodahs's grip loosened at her annoyance, allowing the box to topple over, crystal tubes falling to the floor with a merry tinkle, and then the pair were engulfed in a plume of blue smoke.
"Gah, what a totally terrible experience! What would Lady Kcalb want with such a thin- ARGH!" He stumbled and fell to the floor awkwardly.
A dark chuckle escaped from his companion. "Such a klutz you are. How utterly expected."
"Wait. Why-" Both their eye(s) widened dramatically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY?" Accusatory glares were passed, complete with a dramatic flash of lightning in the background. "I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT!"
Even harsher glares emerged. They butted heads. "Are you saying something about me, stupid Head Angel?"
"Why I'm surprised Grora, you seem to have caught on rather quickly. How unusual."
Taking advantage of the dangling scarf, Grora pulled his body down into a chokehold. "Why thank you Head Angel, NOW CHANGE US BACK."
Perfectly unruffled, Wodahs yanked on the tie but being careful to not yank too hard, it was her body after all and the suit had cost quite a fair sum of money to tailor. "Let me go first and I'll try to figure something out."
Grora reluctantly released the grip he had, allowing Wodahs to uneasily adjust the scarf on the body she was currently residing in.
"Jeez man, how do you even see outta your left eye? This is super weird." Grora squinted at the trees surrounding them and spun around slowly.
"And these boobs, oh hey look they're actually kinda bi-"
"Kindly stop making a fool of my body." Wodahs said politely, eyelid twitching as she tried to concentrate on the problem at hand.
"..." Grora had turned to face Wodahs, upon seeing his body in a 'thinking' mode, fell to the floor laughing.
"I can't take you seriously Head Angel, not like this." Slamming an open palm against the dirt, he released loud peals of laughter.
Her expression darkened as her fingers curled dangerously into a fist. "I said. Stop."
Grora rose from his position on the ground. "Fine fine, what a killjoy Head Angel you are." He crossed his hands and sulked.
So cute... Wait now isn't the time for such frivolous thoughts! Wodahs cleared her throat hesitantly. "Let's head back to the castle and see if my sister has a solution to this... problem." Her lip curled in disgust at being in a male body.
They headed to the warp panel located a distance away, Grora still emitting slight bouts of giggles that disturbed Wodahs immensely, not believing his body was capable of such frivolous noises.
Kcalb stood before the pair, who were as of then still bickering away. a blank expression on her face. My payback on stupid Eti... Wasted like this. She felt like crying. I shouldn't have trusted Grora at all, knowing he was going along with my sister.
Her expression grew stonier, the more she cried internally.
Wodahs sweat dropped at her sister's shift in facial expressions, knowing full well how her thought processes went.
Kcalb shook off her wave of violent emotion. "I do have the solution but you're not going to like it."
"Hooooh? What have we here Ater?" A pleased voice wound around the three.
"Seems to be quite the pickle these two are in." An equally charming voice agreed.
Grora in Wodahs's body forgot all else as he zoomed in on the darn cat who had taken his eye. "GIVE ME BACK MY EYE YOU CURSED FELINE!"
"Ehhh? But I don't have it anymore?" Ater danced merrily around the enraged angel who had somehow gotten his hands on his bow. It was all a very strange sight to behold, seeing Wodahs zooming around with a bow in her hands.
Everyone sighed and ducked as an arrow went whizzing past them, narrowly missing Arbus who was cheering his brother on a distance away.
"As I was saying before, for the spell to be reversed, you have to get to understand and appreciate each other better or at least just a little more than you did before."
A horror-struck expression crept its way up his face as Wodahs resisted the urge to fall to the floor in an undignified manner.
Grabbing Ater by the neck, Kcalb hurled the playful cat out of the castle through the window with one hand, Arbus chasing after his brother.
Why was she always the one cleaning up people's messes? Both hands made their way to her temples.
"Did you get that, Grora?" Wodahs addressed a panting Grora, the bow laying abandoned by his side.
"Yeah of course. But dang your body is way out of shape Head Angel. Time to cut down on all those sweets huh?" Wodahs flinched and glared.
"But trying to understand someone as sadistic and complex as the Head Angel here? Come on, be realistic." He guffawed flippantly.
This time, Wodahs crushed Grora in a headlock.
Sometime Later
The both of them were peppered with wounds and had been unceremoniously booted out of the castle by a brooding Kcalb who had retreated back to her room to ponder what other payback she could get against the god.
"I guess we can try to understand each other better? Blegh that did not sound right." Grora stuck out a tongue as though to rid his mouth of such foul words.
"I, as much as I hate to admit it, will have to agree, for the sooner we return to our original state, the better."
"Meowwww, did the two angels get kicked out from the castle too?"
"It does appear so~"
A tick mark formed on Grora's face.
"GET BACK HERE YOU MANGY CAT."
"Nyaaaa, name calling isn't nice Mr Eye Patch or should we call you Miss now?"
"I suppose I shall head to the library to see if there are any articles to read about body swapping and perhaps speed up the process." Wodahs shook her head and muttered to herself before starting to walk off in the direction of the library.
"H-hey, I don't like reading! What the heck am I supposed to do?" Grora protested, turning a head to face her retreating figure as he tried to shoot his arch nemesis down.
"That's your problem now, isn't it?" Wodahs scoffed as she continued walking.
A quick walk to the library later saw Wodahs scouring the shelves searching for books on body swapping and how to reverse it while Grora kicked back on one of the chairs, as the cat had evaded him again.
Ms Greif's eyes would have bulged out of their sockets if they could.
Grora was studying diligently while Wodahs was loafing around? The sky must have turned a putrid shade green and great calamities befallen upon the Gray Garden while he wasn't looking.
She dragged an unwilling Lowrie from her office just to double check.
Lowrie strolled up to the pair, an amused grin plastered on her lips. "What's going on here, hmm?"
A hasty explanation later, Ms Greif lightly placed an arm on his chest. It was just one shock after another. His hair would turn white at this rate…
Oh wait he already had a headful of white hair.
Lowrie and Greif exchanged mutual glances and agreed it was best to just leave the bickering duo be.
Grora glanced up at Wodahs, who seemed to be furiously flipping page after page in hopes of a solution besides understanding one another because honestly who would want to understand Grora?
Feeling Grora's gaze upon her, she shuddered a little. Then she straightened, maybe there really was no other way. They just had to get over their gulp mutual dislike of one another. Which was honestly easier said than done.
As she voiced his opinion to his compatriot, Grora scrunched his nose in distaste but it was the only logical thing to do.
They spent the whole afternoon quizzing each other about random things. Grora letting out a loud huff as she slowly revealed that she might have a small obsession with ochazuke.
Wodahs' love for ochazuke was known throughout the garden but finally hearing her admit it to him was utterly endearing.
She learned that he liked to dream about other occupations rather than being just a body guard and she offered to bring him for one of her baking sessions sometime. He agreed with a snort.
Yosafire and Froze had walked in on them at one point, Yosaf having forgotten to do his homework yet again but seeing them so engrossed in conversation was a first.
Froze reluctantly handed Yosaf a couple of gold pieces, having been forced to bet whether the angel duo would ever confess to one another.
Then the both of them had quietly snuck out and decided to do their (or rather it was just Yosafire really) homework elsewhere that day.
The pair stretched out the kinks in their body, having been seated in the uncomfortable wooden chairs for quite a while and decided it would be nice to head down to the beach to admire the sunset.
As they came to an amiable agreement, the sun setting in the distance, a familiar and also much welcomed whoosh of smoke wafted over them, making them both release relieved sighs.
"Well that's that. Truce?" Grora held out a hand.
"Truce." They shook.
Omake: Everyone's in cahoots with Etihw (obviously)
Grora sidled up to beside his god. "Didn't I put on a good show today, Lord Etihw?"
A cheerful grin. An appreciative nod. An unassuming slide of weaponry found its way into Grora's hands.
"Don't look so smug, I knew you were secretly looking forward to spend more time with Wodahs." He crowed.
"Pleasure doing business with you!" Grora pretended he never heard him utter those words.
Silly Kcalb, thinking he can one-up me. I'll never fall for such a silly little trick. Lips curled up into a gentle teasing smile as the god thought back to when Kcalb had sent Wodahs on a highly secretive mission but he had found out anyway. It had piqued Etihw's interest so the god had sent Grora to keep an eye on him.
The smile turned a little more mischievous as the god giggled into his hand.
Fwehhh, I died of trying(failing) to be cute. UGHHH. RIP me. Please help me to criticize? Improve? Idk, I hope you liked it anyway. /bows Mogemoge! Prosciutto is our lord and savior.