SONG OF TEARS

by deetatarant

It's about Ianto and really you'll have to be surprised because I can't describe it very well... PLEASE READ. ONE SHOT.

THE SONG OF TEARS.

AN: Everything in italics is in Ianto's mind. It's just an experimental first draft of an idea I am playing with and reviews and your opinion on what happened would be gratefully accepted.

Thank you as always…. Dedicated to 'poor teabiscuit' 'amethystbutterflies' 'rietta' 'believablepen' and mostly 'SOLSBURY GIRL' . WITH LOVE.

Takes place approx. a week after 'countrycide'.

It had been a long and tiring day. The Rift had spat out the wreckage of a spacecraft, pieces of it scattered over a wide area not far from the village of Sully. The team spent the day searching down each piece and loading it up into the back of one of the Torchwood trucks. It was hard work, but made enjoyable by light hearted banter and glorious spring sunshine with a southerly breeze. Ianto had been left at the hub, still recovering from the beating he had taken at Brynnblaidd and Owen had been adamant that the Tea Boy not be lifting things until his ribs had fully healed. Ianto didn't mind much, he had a stack of paperwork to catch up with after his week off at home recovering and with his colleagues out, he was left in peace to get on with it. When the team finally made it back to the Hub Ianto had supper ready and waiting for them in the boardroom along with a fresh pot of coffee. There were smiles all round as the hungry hoards devoured their Chinese Takeaway with gusto.

At 9pm the team packed up and waved cheery goodbyes as one by one they went home, leaving Ianto to tidy up and Jack to sit listening to music in his office as he signed off the days reports. It was a good day. No one had died or even been injured and the world hadn't needed saving. Jack was clearly happy about this because Ianto could hear him whistling up in his office. It brought a rare smile to the younger man's face as he slowly moved about, mindful of his cracked ribs and lingering bruises. Yes, today had been a good day.

Ianto carefully put away the last mug into the dishwasher and set it going. He yawned expansively as he made his way over to the coat stand behind Tosh's cluttered work area. His back to her desk, he gingerly slipped into his coat, unaware of a faint light that rose from something lying on the technician's desk. The pale luminance glided up, forming a tiny glowing ball which hung in the air for a moment before zipping silently into the Welshman's back. It disappeared through the woollen black fabric of his coat and settled itself inside him. Ianto glanced up toward Jack's office, knowing that his boss would probably want a last cup of coffee before he left for the night. Ianto clicked on the com device in his ear.

"Sir, I'm done here, did you need anything before I head home?"

"Come up to my office." Came the cheerful reply.

Ianto rolled his eyes and did as he was asked. He stood in the doorway to Jack's domain, hands tucked into his coat pockets.

"Sir?"

Jack abandoned the folder he was reading through and grinned toothily up at his youngest employee.

"Take a seat." He gestured to the empty chair in front of his messy desk.

Ianto edged forwards and sat himself down, wincing slightly, aware that his boss was watching him very closely.

Jack clasped his hands and rested them on top of his paper work. He was disconcerted to see Ianto still ill at ease in his company.

"How are you feeling?"

Ianto was surprised by the question and wondered where this was going.

"I'm fine, thank you sir."

Jack nodded. "You look like you are uncomfortable." He watched Ianto intently. The object of his gaze was unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Still a bit sore. Owen said it would be a few weeks before it settles down." Ianto replied gazing into his lap.

"That wasn't what I meant. You've been a little quiet, forgive me but that tends to get my alarm bells ringing. I just want to know that you're okay and coping."

Ianto's hands clenched into tight fists and he was glad that Jack couldn't see them. He finally met Jack's enquiring and surprisingly open look and it did nothing to ease the rising tension in his shoulders. A head ache threatened.

"I…. I'm still having trouble sleeping and I felt a bit sick when I had to feed Janet again, the blood, you see. Sorry I know that's pretty pathetic." He admitted.

Jack frowned and leaned forward a little. "It is not, that was a pretty unpleasant experience that you went through, you can't fail to be affected, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You're a brave man and you are stronger than you think you are."

Ianto shrugged off the compliment and then grimaced with the pain. "Not really sir. I was just angry at the way that man was touching Tosh, I wanted her not to have to…. Well, she told me about some of the things that happened to her when she was in UNIT's custody."

"Yeah. You did good Ianto. I know the others appreciate that. Do you think that you'll be up to tackling going out in the field again?"

"I er…. I suppose, yes."

Jack was smiling again. "Good, I'm glad to hear it. As soon as Owen gives you a clean bill of health then, hey, we could go weevil hunting." His eyes lit up with mischief.

Ianto felt like a piece prey under the gaze of a large, hungry predator.

"That would be very…" He tried to find the right word. "Educational, sir."

Jack let out a hearty laugh. "You bet. Come on, I'll give you a lift home." He chuckled as he got up and reached for his great coat.

Ianto didn't quite know what to do with himself. "Thank you, sir." He replied getting to his feet.

"Jack!"

"Sorry?"

"Call me Jack, you know? My name? Sir sounds….. kinda kinky."

Ianto couldn't help but smile as Jack winked at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ianto was pleasantly surprised to see Jack waiting in the SUV until he had reached his front door before driving off into the night. He locked his front door at his back and was greeted in his neat little kitchen by his orange stripey cat, Jupiter. The oversized moggy was marching about with his tail up. He head butted Ianto's shin and purred enthusiastically.

"Hey there hang on a minute." He opened the cupboard above the counter. "Would you like Tuna or Sardines?" Ianto looked down at the furry beast who met his gaze with wide orange eyes. Jupiter meowed, making his whiskers stick out.

"Tuna it is then."

Half an hour later and Ianto was settled into his bed and with the aid of one of Owen's sleeping pills he was soon sound asleep.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

The sun was pale against the reddening haze of the horizon. Stars began to fade from the night as the first tendrils of dawn slowly awakened the world. Yhlla wandered silently over the stone floor of her house to pull aside gossamer drapes, enabling the feeble light to creep across her reading room. Her long brown hands glided over the shimmering fabric as it swept itself away and folded itself into the wall. A fresh day was coming with salted dew that would crystalize as the distant sun climbed into the orchre sky. There had been talk of unrest in the town. The weather had been poor for some time. Each mark on her calendar since before the birth of her child had spoken of such. Yhlla did want to think on it and the subject was discussed in the house. Her child would know nothing of her worries.

The Sassa birds had been restless all night, tethered as they were in the glistening courtyard, their shrill cries splitting the still air. They made Yhlla shudder as she continued through the long house, drapes parting as she passed to let in the day. The fabrics whispering themselves away. Yhlla could only reflect that the anxiety of her birds matched her own.

A change was coming, something so monumental that it was beyond her comprehension. She ached for understanding. Finally she went to her child's room. He lay cushioned by the suspensors gazing up with sleepy almond eyes, his dark skin shimmering as the light danced over him. He was smiling and it was a beautiful thing to see and it eased her.

"Your father will be home today."

The child was happy and Yhlla wondered why she was not, but really she knew deep down. Her husband, the child and this house were her world and until three nights ago she had been the happiest woman in the community.

Three nights ago and there had been a dream about a strange pale man, who wore strange dark clothes and spoke with his mouth with words she did not understand. Yhlla could feel his pain, could smell his fear and could taste…..she did not know the flavour, but the flavour was…. Yhlla had tried to describe it in her own thoughts and failed. This stranger was so sad but he had marvelled at the sight of the world on which he stood, because he had come from the stars and had never stood on another world before. He had called himself Ianto and Yhlla had tried to understand the meaning of the name, letting the sound of it roll around in her mind. She liked the sound, even if it was strange to her mind. She had wondered at the sound of his voice, because the melancholy tones had reached into her very soul. There was also a smile, a warmth that went beyond anything she had ever experienced before, deep compassion.

Yhlla knew she should tell her husband, because bad or strange dreams were the sign of change, terrible, beautiful change. Yhlla closed her eyes and saw, once again the strange man. She sucked a breath in and sighed. It was time to get her child up and off to his lessons, the birds needed to be fed and then harnessed, ready for a trip into the town.

She prepared crystal fruits and stone bowls sweet soup and by the time this done her child was sitting waiting.

"Thank you mother."

Yhlla smiled and sat and ate with him. They talked about his lessons and his disappointment at not being able to go to the sea this year. The sea was receding, they talked of this too. Yhlla tried to pretend that she was not worried by it. Her thoughts became distracted by the word green. It was a word she did not know herself, but the stranger in her dream had talked of green, she wondered what it was. Her child finished his meal.

"May we take the birds? You know how I love to sail. Please?"

Yhlla could never resist his golden eyes and the way they flickered with bright flashes of his lively energy. His soul was strong, the extra flying would be good for the birds too, the wind was too light for the sail barge…

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Ianto stretched out his arm and silenced his alarm clock with a thump. His hand then went straight to his aching head and he groaned suddenly remembering why he hated sleeping tablets. Weird dreams aside, they always made him feel like shit. He remained stretched out on his back for some time before gathering the will to move his stiff and sore body out of his warm and very cosy bed. Ianto grumbled to himself realising he would be late into work and part of him really didn't care all that much. He yawned expansively through his shower and kept on doing so as he dressed and ate his breakfast. It was then he realised his car was at work, because Jack had given him a lift home the previous evening. Oh well, the walk would do him good. As it turned out, the walk only served to leave him feel chilled to the bone, the wind coming in from the South and cutting through the fabric of his clothes like a knife. He shivered as he locked up the entrance to the tourism office and headed down into the depths of the Hub. He went straight to the coffee machine, trying to shake off the cold that had seeped through his entire body, making sore muscles ache even more. He busied himself with the first brew of the day, unaware that Jack had wandered out of his office to come and find him.

"Good morning Ianto, how are you this fine day?"

Ianto was inspecting the contents of the fridge. "You clearly haven't been out this morning, have you sir?"

Jack smiled. "Every day is a beautiful day when I get to see your smiling face Mr Jones."

Ianto retrieved the milk and closed up the fridge. "How would you like your coffee?"

Jack was at his side. "Hot, steamy and very, very strong." He veritably purred into Ianto's ear and the Welshman merely rolled his eyes at Jack's unsubtle flirting.

"Personal space sir... otherwise I shall start throwing the H word about."

Jack got closer. "You know how I love a challenge Ianto."

"Be careful what you wish for, sir." Ianto responded, preparing the milk for steaming.

Jack stepped back and folded his arms across his chest. "You're such a tease."

"Yes, sir." Ianto's thoughts returned to his strange dream of the night before as he contented himself with reaching into the dishwasher for the clean mugs. For the first time that day he turned to face Jack, and he was surprised to see the older man suck in a startled breath.

"You look terrible."

Ianto froze for a moment. "I do?"

Jack nodded. "Rough night?"

Ianto shrugged. "I had weird dreams, but I slept through. Owen's sleeping pills are messing with my head."

"How so?"

Ianto wasn't sure that he knew, they just were and he didn't like it, even though last night's dream hadn't been bad, just odd.

"Well normally my nightmares are about cybermen turning into flesh eating Welshmen, or things to that effect. Last night was just... It made me feel sad, but it made no sense. I have no frame of reference for it and I can't remember the details now anyway, just some thoughts about the ocean receding and the weather being wrong, and there were birds with harnesses or something." Ianto realised he was probably boring Jack with an information overload.

Jack was watching him with something bordering on affection in his gaze. "Well maybe it's better than the hack and slash you usually get even if it doesn't make sense. There's probably some unconscious thing going on there you haven't worked out yet."

Ianto wasn't sure what that could possibly be. "Not that I mind a bit of soul searching, but I'd rather it didn't leave me feeling so washed out. Just some normal dead to the world sleep would be good." He handed Jack a mug of black Jamaican blend. "Do you have nightmares?"

Jack inhaled the bitter aromas rising from his mug. "Sometimes." He didn't want to elaborate.

Ianto realised that Jack wasn't about to expand on that reply. "Sorry, none of my business."

Jack shook his head. "No it's fine. I just, well I guess in this job I've got used to it. You know how it is with the stuff we see."

Ianto did, only too well. "It'd be nice not to be able to recall things in such vivid detail, sometimes the dreams come with all the emotions attached as well, that's the bit I don't like."

"Yeah, me too." Jack smiled at him. "If you need to talk about it, any time, you know that, right?"

Ianto picked up his own mug of coffee. "Yes sir, thank you."

Jack took a sip of his coffee and closed his eyes as the rich flavours slid over his tongue. "Oh, you have outdone yourself, this is superb."

"I try my best. The better the coffee, the happier the rest of you seem to be."

Jack couldn't argue with that. "One day, you'll call me Jack."

Ianto arched an eyebrow. "Of course sir. Now, if you'll excuse me I'd like to get started on room J, there's a lot of boxes to archive and Tosh will need to go through some of the items once I have sorted them."

"Is that the stuff Archie sent down?"

"Yep, there's a lot of it and I've been somewhat delayed by my recovery from... well, being on the menu."

Jack was smiling again as he swung away. "I guess I'd better let you get on, just make sure you check in with Owen today at some point."

"I will."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So Tea Boy, weird dreams?"
Ianto was sat on the end of the exam couch, shirtless and feeling a little bit naked with Owen listening to his chest.

"Yes, sort of."

"But you are sleeping through?" Owen put away his stepthoscope and reached for the Blood Pressure cuff.

Ianto held out his arm. "I don't remember waking up, but I feel like I haven't slept at all."

"It isn't unusual when you start on the tablets, it takes a few days to adjust. You only took one pill?"

Ianto nodded.

"Well, stick with it for now and I shall review things in a weeks time. How is the pain?"

Ianto watched as Owen made notes on the charts.

"It's not as bad, the bruising on my legs is starting to fade now, it is just the ribs that are still sore really. Can I put my shirt back on?"

Owen nodded. "Yep. You're fine by the way and like I said we'll review in a week, it might help to reduce the caffeine intake though."

"Oh, rapture. Coffee is like oxygen, Owen."

"I understand mate, I do, really and normally I'd be the last person to suggest such a thing, but you drink twice as much of the stuff than the rest of us and I don't think I have ever seen pure water pass your lips. Do you actually drink anything other than coffee?" The medic was staring at him, arms folded across his chest in that no nonsense manner of his.

Ianto shrugged as he did up his buttons. Jack, who had silently appeared at the gallery railing above them was grinning.

"Oh, I've seen him drink other things." He winked as Owen looked up at him.

Ianto flushed scarlet, taking a mental guess at what Jack was referring to. Owen had obviously had the same thought.

"Too much information Harkness!"

Jack's smile only got wider. "He's okay, isn't he?"

Owen nodded putting his equipment away. "Yep."

"Good, right you guys go home, Tosh and I will deal with things tonight and Owen I need those weevil autopsy reports on my desk tomorrow."

"No problem boss."

Ianto pulled on his jacket. "If you don't mind sir I'd like to continue on in the archive."

Jack shook his head. "Uh uh, go home and get some rest Ianto, you look like you need it and we've got a busy week coming up."

TWTWTWTWWTWTWWTWTWTW

Yhlla watched the horizon as the sun climbed up, shining pale through the haze of the early day. Her child and her husband were busy getting themselves ready for the journey to the market so for once she was anticipating a day of meditation and no doubt much worry. She turned away from the view and went through the crystal house, her feet silent against stone floors. Her Sassa Birds were sleeping in the courtyard, their silvery wings tucked into their flanks to protect their delicate feathers from the blistering dryness of the air. The sky above them was clear and the air was sharp with bitter cold. Yhlla could not get used to the cold.

Sighing she placed fruits into the feed bowls and then retreated back into the comfort of the house. Even in here the air was cool because they needed to ration their precious fuel so she went to her sleep room and retrieved her cloak, newly made for the change in the weather. Yhlla sat with her book of silver gossamer pages and waited for it to sing to her. The tinkling of melancholic history and romance did nothing to distract from the thoughts of the stranger, who had once again visited her dreams. They had talked of wine and sweet honey. He had laughed at her tale of falling from her bird and she had laughed at his description of being chased naked by his lover. They had spoken of the weather again and she listened as he talked of oceans filled with green and blue water that teemed with life. Yhlla had tried so hard to picture the colours in her mind. It was difficult to grasp something so alien, and yet something so like her. Their feelings were the same, fear and sadness and great loss. Her loss was to come, she knew and somehow this pale man was able to sooth her in ways she didn't understand. He claimed there was life after death, and hope even in the face of one's ending.

They had cried, holding each other's hands, his white, short hands wrapped over her long dark ones. The desert around them hissing as the sands shifted through the end of her time.

TWTWTW

Ianto lurched up with a start and sucked in a painful breath. A sob hitched and he realised that the crying was real enough and so he sat on his bed and wept, not having the slightest idea why he was doing it. A deep sadness was drowning him for the fifth morning in a row. It was some time before he gathered enough of his composure to get out of bed. He stood under a hot shower for longer than could be healthy and dressed as if in a daze. Everything ached with an overbearing sense of bewilderment and Ianto arrived into work two hours early because he really didn't know what else to do with himself. He knew there was something wrong and it couldn't be Owen's pills, Ianto was sure of that. Ianto found himself at Jack's office door and he discovered the room in darkness, but there was a faint light coming from the circular manhole in the floor.

"Sir? Are you there?" Ianto called out cautiously entering the office. A moment later and Jack's head popped up from below.

"Ianto? You know what time it is?"

Ianto watched as Jack climbed up the ladder and stood behind his desk in T-shirt and shorts.

"You ok?"

Ianto shook his head. "Forgive me sir, but you said if I needed to talk?"

Jack smiled and gestured to the chair in front of his desk. He sat down himself and switched on the lamp, catching sight of Ianto's shadowed face for the time.

"Jeez, what happened to you?"

Ianto sat and shrugged in one awkward movement. "I can't explain. The dreams are getting worse. It's like I am there and I feel so….. I feel so hopeless when I wake up. I'm exhausted."

Jack was watching him closely. "You look it. Owen said you may have trouble with the meds though."

Ianto was not convinced. "This is different, these aren't my dreams. It feels real and wrong. I can't put it into words, but I feel wrong and that scares me."

"Okay. I'm gonna call Owen in and we are going to check you over very thoroughly, lets see if we can put your mind at rest, if nothing else." Jack smiled trying to be of comfort.

Ianto nodded. "You think I'm being…"

"No, I don't and this is Torchwood, we have to check, just to be sure that you're safe. Now why don't you go take a nap on the couch and I shall call Owen in to take a look at you."

The relief in Ianto's eyes was clearly evident. "Thank you sir."

Jack smiled once again because Ianto was clearly rattled. He picked up his phone and was surprised not to be greeted with a world of verbal abuse from his acerbic medic for being woken up so early.

"It's Ianto is it?"

Jack frowned. "Yes, how did you know?"

"Never mind. I'm on my way."

Owen hung up and Jack, puzzled, put down the receiver and wandered out of his office to check on his youngest member of staff. It was too easy to forget sometimes that Ianto had seen more than the rest of his team mates put together. Jack didn't include himself in this and was glad not to, he had enough of his own horrors to deal with. He found Ianto sat rigid on the ratty couch behind the workstations. The pale faced man looked about to snap, he was so tense, hands gripping his knees for dear life. Jack offered up a weak smile and came and sat himself down at his side.

"Ianto, relax." Jack chided gently. He trailed a hand over his shoulders. "You're tight as a wire." He sank his fingers into the unyielding flesh covered by an expensive wool silk blend. Jack could feel knotted muscle and protruding shoulder blades.

Ianto hissed.

"Sorry, found a sore spot?"

"Yep." Ianto nodded. "Is Owen coming?"

"Yes, he didn't seem terribly surprised to get my call." Jack lowered his hand. "I'm glad you came to see me." He added finally.

Ianto clasped his hands on his lap and steadfastly avoided Jack's gaze. "I feel a bit silly now."

"Well don't, I'd rather we discover nothing and waste a bit of time than have you worrying and waiting for something to go wrong, we can't be too careful, you know that."

Ianto nodded feeling miserable. "I just don't like the fuss."

"More the attention I'd say, were you always this shy?"

Ianto shrugged not wanting to talk about himself. "I could do with a coffee."

"So could I, but I seem to recall Owen telling you to cut down your intake."

Ianto glanced at him with narrowed eyes. "You overheard that then."

Jack could only smile in reply. "Actually he told me, so blame him. I'm just following his instructions, you know how it is with medical matters."

Ianto didn't dignify that with a reply, he just buried his face in his hands instead. Jack went back to rubbing his shoulders and Ianto was quietly grateful for the heat seeping through to him from Jack's hand as silence sank down between them. Ianto seemed to shrink into himself and Jack watched the younger man sag forwards.

"Come on, lie down before you fall off the couch."

Ianto complied, tucking his arms under his head and curling up. Jack stepped away and grabbed the ratty throw off the back. He shook it out and gently spread over Ianto who was already asleep. At that moment the alarms bleared into life, heralding Owen's arrival. Jack was surprised when Ianto didn't stir. Owen got straight down to business foregoing a greeting when he saw his younger colleague on the couch.

"I'll get my scanner, don't disturb him Jack, for now anyway."

TWTWT

Yhlla found she was constantly looking toward the horizon these days. The sky was dark with the ash of distant fires, warring in the towns, fears and uprisings. Her husband had not come home for days and he had not called to her mind. The deepest part of her mind had lost all sense of him and somehow she knew that he was gone, turned to ash like the towns. The air was bitter and tasted of metal and the cold had been swapped for hot dry gusts that left the black ash coating everything, dulling all colour from the world. A great fire was coming, Yhlla could feel it. She longed for her husband but instead all she saw in the depths of her hopeless soul was the stranger who visited her dreams, though now no longer so strange. He was a herald of death, she realised she should have told her husband about him. Ianto was full of sorrow for her, his pale hands cradling her heart in case the broken pieces of it should come apart. Yhlla turned away from the once beautiful view and looked at her child who was watching her with such knowing eyes.

"Is my father dead?" His soul spoke in hers and left her aching to her core. Yhlla could only nod as her grief enveloped them both.

"The world is dying, soon we will all be dead."

Oddly the child, her child, gifted her with a smile. "Then we will be with father once again?"

Yhlla's heart tightened. "Yes, we will."

A little hand was held out and she engulfed it's smoothness in her much larger one. "We can go now if you wish."

The child nodded, his wide almond eyes sparkling gold. "I would like that."

A while later she cradled her child as he drank a cup of sweet poison and as he slipped into sleep she wailed out her anger and her grief. When she finally stopped and left her baby dead on his bed she was confronted by the pale man who held out a cup for her.

"It will be alright. I will remember and you will not be forgotten."

She took the cup and he helped her settle back on the bed and gather her child in her arms.

Yhlla drank the poison.

TWTWTWTW

Jack and Owen got the fright of their lives when Ianto lurched back into wakefulness screaming. Gwen and Tosh watched horrified as the Welshman flung himself off the couch about to bolt, but Jack and Owen tackled him back down to the old sofa and Jack tugged him into his arms and held him tightly as he cried. Then Owen leapt back with a startled cry as a faint ball of light escaped through Ianto's chest. It hung in the air for the briefest of moments before simply vanishing, leaving the Torchwood team to gape at empty space for a moment. Ianto continued to cry into Jack's shirt.

"What the Hell just happened?" Jack demanded of no one in particular.

Tosh got to work on her computers and Gwen for want of something better to do went and fetched a glass of water for Ianto. Owen was busy with his Bekaran scanner.

There were no answers.

Finis…..